I Won't Say I'm in Love

My alarm rang loud in my ear. I squealed, rolling out of bed in surprise. I reached a hand up from the floor to hit the snooze button on my alarm, shutting it up. “Ohhh…” I groaned. It was the first day of school, and I wasn’t thrilled at all. All I had been doing the past few days with the boys was inflicting terror on the sleepy animals of the forest. Yesterday, we ran around in the woods banging pots and pans on our heads. Emily’s niece Claire had gone with us. She was absolutely adorable. Everyone loved her. Especially Quil. And she seemed to be extremely attached to him too. It was kind of cute actually.

I took a shower and then stumbled sleepily back to my room. I picked out a hot pink bandage dress made with some kind of spandex cotton blend, which hugged every single one of my curves and hit mid thigh. I paired it with black leggings and a short sleeved gray cardigan that came to my rib cage. I decided to wear my gray ankle boot wedges, with sliver bangles up my right arm. My hair was in its normal style, long and wavy, and I only put on a bit of eyeliner and mascara (Calypso's Outfit). I walked downstairs, yawning and stretching all the way.

“Woah,” I said unenthusiastically. “Morning, Jake. Why aren’t you headed to school?” I asked, reaching my arms out to hug him.

It seemed to have become an instinct, me reaching out my arms to hug Jacob whenever I saw him. That instinct actually applied to everyone I had met here in La Push, but Jacob especially. I didn’t know why. It was as if I needed to hug him though. Like if I didn’t, the day would be off balance. It wouldn’t work out the way it should and everything would go wrong. Maybe the earth would explode or my breathing would stop, I didn’t know. It was a little strange. But he wrapped his arms around me and I was sure the day would go fine. I was one hundred percent positive about it.

Of course, it was just a friendly thing.

“I am about to be headed to school. And you’re coming with me,” Jake said, taking his arms from around me.

“What?” I asked. “I thought Emily was taking me to school.” I glanced over at her.

“Well, I was, but Jacob insisted,” Emily explained from her seat at the kitchen table, gripping her coffee mug.

“You don’t mind, do you?” he asked me, frowning worriedly. I looked at him.

“No! No, of course not,” I promised. I reached up and smoothed out the furrow between his eyebrows. “And don’t frown. Your face is gonna get stuck like that. I’ll miss your smile,” I teased.

Jacob frowned as hard as he could then, and I started to use both hands to pry his eyebrows apart. We both began laughing at our antics, and eventually I gave up, hitting him on the shoulder once instead. He laughed and straightened up, his face returning to its normal happy state.

“C’mon, let’s go.”

“Oh. Okay,” I said. Putting his hand on the small of my back, Jake began steering me to the door. “Wait!” I said. I jogged to Emily and gave her a big hug.

After I pulled away, I asked, “Where’s Sam?”

“Upstairs, asleep,” she said. I ran upstairs and knocked on Sam’s door.

“Come in,” he grunted. I slowly opened the door and stalked up to the side of his bed, his back towards me.

“Hey,” I sing-songed, tapping on his bare shoulder. He looked sleepily over his shoulder and lazily smiled at me.

“Hey, girly girl,” he said sitting up so his entire bare chest was showing.

“I’m not a girly girl,” I protested, sitting on the side of the bed.

“Whaddya want?” he asked playfully.

“You didn’t come downstairs to wish me luck on my first day,” I whined. He smiled at me.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to,” he admitted.

“Well of course I wanted you to!” I said, surprising even myself. He smiled wider at me.

“Good luck at school today, sweetie,” he wished as he hugged me.

“Thanks,” I said. I hugged him for a little bit longer, not minding the fact that I felt like I was hugging a space heater. I finally let go and said, “I gotta get going.”

“Good luck,” he shouted after me as I closed the door behind me.

“You ready?” Jacob asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I breathed, pulling on my black leather jacket. He smiled at me as he opened the door for me. We walked out into the cold, a light drizzle occurring, and Jake walked me to his car. He opened my door for me, as he always did, and I slid into my seat. He walked around to his side and got in. He turned on the car and blasted the heat, just for me, as usual. We backed out of the driveway and began driving to school.

“You nervous?” Jake asked me over the music. I turned it down a little so we could hear each other clearly.

“Yeah, a little. I mean, going to an all-new school across the country. That’s a tad terrifying, don’t ya think?” I asked sarcastically. He laughed.

“I guess I see how that can be a little bit frightening,” he said. I smiled and looked down at my fingers. “Hey,” he murmured softly, making me look up at him. “You know I’ve got your back today, right?” he asked. I shrugged. “Well I do,” he promised. “One hundred percent. I’m yours today.”

I looked up at him. “Promise?” I asked timidly. He took his eyes from the road to smile at me so warmly that I didn’t need the heat on any more.

“Promise,” he repeated.

“Pinky promise?” I checked, sticking out my pinky finger. He glanced down at it, smiled, then hooked his tightly around it.

“Pinky promise,” he swore.

“Seal it with a kiss?” I added. He looked at me questioningly. I sighed. “Look, kiss your thumb like this,” I ordered, kissing my thumb as an example. He followed suit. “Now press your thumb to mine.” We both arched our thumbs over our interlocked pinkies and pressed them together firmly. I took my hand from his, putting it back in my lap as he put it back on the wheel.

“There! Now you’ve sealed it with a kiss,” I congratulated him. He laughed.

“Do I get a prize?” he asked.

“The satisfaction of knowing that your thumb has just made out with mine,” I told him. He laughed again.

“That’s good enough for me,” he said. He looked over at me with a smile, and I couldn’t help but think he was flirting. I smiled back.

Five minutes later, we arrived at La Push Reservation High School. Jacob parked in a spot marked “Jake’s Spot” in sloppy white spray-paint. I figured that he was popular enough to get away with the blatant vandalizing of school property. The parking lot was crowded with teenagers, reuniting with old friends and flirting with new ones. Jacob got out of the car as I watched all the kids mingling. Jacob opened my door for me and I snapped out of my trance to look at his smiling face.

“You ready, hun?” he asked me.

“Hun?” I repeated, questioning the affectionate little nickname. He shrugged.

“It’s a friendly ‘hun’,” he reassured me.

“Ah,” I said. I smiled at him, which seemed to make him stand a little bit straighter. “Yeah. I guess,” I shrugged. Jake raised his eyebrows at me.

“You guess?” he repeated, astonished.

“Yeah, I guess,” I told him again.

“You GUESS?” he growled playfully. He reached into the car and began viciously tickling me.

“EEK!” I screeched, drawing almost everybody’s attention to the car. “Jacob, leggo!” I squealed through my giggles. I ended up “giggle spasming” out of the car, but Jacob caught me and held me close.

“Now are you ready?” he asked me, smiling.

“Of course,” I whispered.

“Why, hello there, lovers,” Quil greeted, walking towards us with the rest of the boys. I just rolled my eyes and went over to hug Quil and the rest of the boys. The last boy I hugged was Embry, so he put his arm around my waist and walked with me to the school, all the boys right behind us.

“Well look at that. You’re already getting ‘come-hither’ looks from all the boys,” Embry pointed out, glancing back at Jacob. I snuck a peek at him for his reaction to Embry’s little comment. He rolled his eyes and frowned at the ground beside him. I glanced around at all the people staring at us…and realized they weren’t staring at us. They were staring at me. Some of them, not so nicely.

“Looks like some people are mentally composing death threats too…” I murmured under my breath. I noticed that that particular group consisted only of girls. Paul put his hands on my shoulders from behind.

“Aww. It’s only ‘cuz your so preeeetty,” he whispered in my ear. I smiled, but it immediately disappeared from my face when I saw the way one girl was glaring at me.

“Who’s that?” I inquired, as I watched the girl flip her long blond hair over her shoulder.

Seth came up and put his arm around my shoulders on the other side of me, making Paul step back.

“That’s Jennifer Keelan. She’s had a crush on Jakey here since freshman year,” he informed me. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and she seemed to refuse to take her eyes off of me.

“She’s beautiful,” I murmured before I knew what I was saying. And it definitely wasn’t a lie. Her toned, never ending legs were shown off via her white short-shorts, as were her stunning arms and chest by her low-cut tank top. She had platinum blond hair; shiny and full enough to make an Herbal Essence model jealous. She had full, ruby red lips and her brilliant blue eyes were framed by long, dark lashes and thick, dark eyebrows that seemed to maintain a certain shape, while still giving her a rebellious look. She could have been a model. “She’s intimidating,” I added after I had admired her beauty.

“She’s annoying,” Jacob said, tickling my sides and falling into step beside me.

“Jakey!” trilled a voice from behind the two of us. I looked around so that Jacob’s hair was brushing my cheek. I faltered a little when I saw Jennifer shooting Jacob such a seductive look, but he seemed to sense my slight insecurity. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, brushing his lips against my cheek, as if he were about to kiss me, but decided against it last minute.

“Jake. You’re not forgetting about our customary hug, are you?” she giggled, almost desperately. He sighed, and I instinctively gripped his hand tighter when he started to pull away from me.

However, he detached his hand from mine and my heart seemed to kick me in the chest. My hand felt strangely empty once he had taken his from it. It was like his hands belonged in mine, but they weren’t there. They were rubbing Jennifer Keelan’s back as Jacob embraced her.

“She’s obviously not that annoying,” I murmured to the boys, smirking and making them all laugh.

“Bitter much?” Embry asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“No, not bitter exactly,” I promised. “More…isolated,” I admitted.

“Isolated?” Quil asked.

“Yeah. This morning in the car, Jacob promised me he’d be there for me today and he completely ditched me for…the leggy blond,” I explained. I didn’t really want to call her by her name, because then I’d have to think of her as a person with feelings. Right now, I just wanted to be angry with her for luring Jacob away from me when he was supposed to be mine for the day.

“Aww. It’s okay,” Jared promised, throwing his arm around my shoulders once again. “How ‘bout I take you to go get your schedule?” he offered. I nodded, so the two of us said goodbye to the boys and headed to the office.

“Hey, Mrs. Urqhart,” Jared greeted the secretary with a friendly wave.

“Good morning, Jared!” Mrs. Urqhart waved back. “How’s your first day going?” she asked as she shuffled some papers, then shoved them in a filing drawer, picking out another pile.

“Great,” he answered happily.

“Good,” she said. “Now I’m assuming you’re our new student? Calypso Kinnear?” she asked, now addressing me as she walked across the office to another filing cabinet.

“Yes,” I confirmed as she took out a file and walked with it back to her desk. She smiled at me.

“You’re just as pretty as they say. Prettier in fact,” she told me. I was a bit taken aback by this comment.

“How did you know my name?” I questioned as she sat down in front of us. She laughed.

“Honey, besides our freshman class, we get about two new students every year. It’d be harder for me not to remember your name,” she explained with a smile. “Here’s your schedule,” she said, handing a white sheet of paper to me with my list of classes on it.

“Thank you,” I said, beaming at her as Jared steered me out of the office.

“Bye, Mrs. Urqhart,” he said with a wave as we headed to the door.

“Bye, honey,” she said. “Good luck, sweetheart!” she shouted after me as Jared and I walked out. I looked through my classes as Jared walked through the halls with me.

“Wow. Every class, you have at least one of us with you. Lucky girl,” he said to me with a wink. I smiled.

“Hey, you two,” Embry said as we caught up with him and Quil.

“Let’s see your schedule,” Quil demanded, reaching across Embry to take the paper from my hands as we walked to the gym. “Hey!” he exclaimed. “You have first period with me and Embry!” I smiled.

“Sweet!” I squealed, hugging Embry who was the nearest of the two.

“So I assume she’s in safe hands with you guys?” Jared asked distractedly, spotting Kim at her locker up ahead. I had met Kim this last week when hanging out with the guys in Port Angeles.

“You’d better hope so if you wanna go see your woman,” Embry joked, throwing his arm around me, me putting my arm around his waist.

“See you guys later,” he said, smiling at us. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, said, “Good luck,” and then jogged off to go see Kim.

“Alrighty then,” Quil said. “P.E, here we come.” We all then headed over to the gym.



After fourth period, it was time for lunch and Paul walked with me to the lunchroom. “Do you think I’ll come to like Ms. Hadsworth?” I asked him, clutching my books to my chest as we walked down the hall. He looked at me, and then shook his head.

“No,” he said. “There’s a reason she’s a Miss and not a Mrs.” I laughed. On the way to the cafeteria, he gave me the rundown on all the teachers at La Push High School.

“You don’t seem to like a lot of the teachers here, do you?” I asked him as we entered the lunchroom.

“They don’t like me,” he argued bitterly while we got in line for our food.

“I’m nicer than you though,” I debated. The boy in front of me looked back and smiled.

“You seem to be nicer than a lot of the people here,” he said. He then slowly looked me up and down and said, “A lot prettier too.” I smirked and bit my lip, averting my eyes to my gray looking mac and cheese. He reached out a hand for me to shake. “I’m Max,” he introduced. I put my hand in his and shook it.

“I’m Calypso,” I greeted. “Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” he flirted. I tried to keep from collapsing into a giggling fit as I took my hand from his grasp. I moved it to the spoon in front of me to scoop some broccoli onto my plate when Seth stepped right between Max and me.

“’Scuse me!” he squeaked as he took the spoon from me and put broccoli onto his plate. Max glared at him, but it seemed like he couldn’t do anything. I was beginning to learn that the group of overgrown boys that I spent a majority of my time with were popular enough to get away with practically anything at this school.

“You can’t cut in line!” I hissed at him, pushing a lock of my hair behind my ear.

“Jacob made me!” he hissed back.

“He was too busy with Jennifer to come himself, huh?” I snapped, spooning mashed potatoes onto my plate with more force than necessary. Paul just smirked.

“And he’s mad at you, mister,” Seth added, pointing at Paul over me. Paul immediately looked affronted.

“What! Why me?” he demanded, grabbing three cookies and putting them on his plate.

“Pig,” I muttered under my breath, just loud enough so he could hear. He looked down at me and winked, making me smile as I grabbed a milk carton.

“Because you let Calypso go around flirting with anyone and everyone is what he said,” Seth explained, not noticing me and Paul’s small exchange.

“Well if he wants to go off gallivanting with models, that’s his problem, isn’t it?” I retorted as we all walked to the table. Paul and Seth exchanged a look over my head that obviously said, “Someone’s upset.” I simply ignored it as we sat down, Paul and Seth on either side of me.

“Hey, Calypso! How’s your first day going so far?” Jacob asked over enthusiastically.

“Hm. Got bored enough with Jennifer to care, huh?” I snipped, stabbing at my mac and cheese with more force than necessary. He sighed and reached across the table to hold my hand.

“Oh, c’mon. I care!” he insisted.

“Well you didn’t this morning,” I retorted, taking my hand from his. “You couldn’t even bother to take me to get my schedule,” I complained, now pushing my broccoli around on my plate with my fork, my head in my hand.

“Yeah. I had to do that,” Jared said, pretending to be sympathetic so as to make Jacob feel bad. Jake just glared at him.

“Or take me to my very first class,” I continued, sitting up now to frown at him and setting my fork down.

“Embry and I did that,” Quil taunted, making Jacob’s glare turn on him.

“You were too busy with Jennifer,” I said now smirking. I knew I was getting to him and for once, the boys’ incessant need to annoy each other had finally paid off. They were helping my case.

“Calypso—” he begged, but I cut him off.

“Couldn’t even worry about lil’ ol’ me,” I teased.

“I just wanted to—”

“You shouldn’t have promised to stay with me in the car if you didn’t mean it.”

“Calypso, I did mean it.”

“Until you saw Jennifer’s never ending legs. Then our thumb make-out session meant nothing.”

“Calypso—”

“You pinky promised, Jake,” I whispered dramatically and convincingly, now leaning forward to look him in the eye.

“Wait, you pinky promised?” Paul asked, leaning forward to face Jake. I threw my hands up in the air and sat back in my chair, watching Jake suffer.

“Pinky promises are serious business, Jake,” Embry taunted, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms to stare at Jake.

“It’s practically illegal to break them,” Jared gasped.

“I rest my case,” I said, standing up and putting my hands on the table. “Now I’m going to the library.” Without getting my tray, I got up and walked to the door, making sure to switch my hips so that Jacob had something to miss. On my way to the door, a guy from one table gave a low wolf whistle. I turned around so I was now facing Jacob when I got to the door and hip checked it open, smirking at him, one eyebrow raised. I then walked out of the lunchroom and down the hall, soon joined by yet another attractive boy. The doors closed right after the boy had joined me, so I was positive that Jacob saw it.

Jacob’s Point of View

I stared at the closed doors and sighed, laying my head on the table in my arms. I could hear one of the boys click his tongue in disapproval. I peeked over one of my arms to see Seth looking down at me, shaking his head. “Jacob, Jacob, Jacob…” he murmured.

“What?” I demanded.

“Breaking pinky promises?” Paul said.

“I thought we had raised you better than that,” Jared joked, laying a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings,” I said, my heart sinking. She seemed to be really upset with the fact that I left her to go say hi to the ever-demanding Jennifer.

“Oh, Jake, she was just kidding,” Embry said, waving a hand.

“I know, but I think she really was hurt. Just a little bit,” I explained.

“Well maybe next time, you should think twice before ditching your soulmate to run after some life-sized Barbie doll,” Paul said, poking at his slime called “Mac and Cheese”.

“I wasn’t chasing after her. She wasn’t gonna leave me alone until I said hi! You guys know how she is,” I argued as we all got up to throw our trays away.

“Yeah, well I think you’d know better considering the fact that you dated her for a month,” Quil added as we walked out of the doors. I shuddered when I thought about that horrible month that I dated Jennifer.

“God, that was torture,” I said. “Jakey, I need flowers! These are pink roses! I’m wearing white, I need white roses! OOPS! Too late, I’ve had my outfit change already! I need pink roses again! GOD, JAKE! These are pale pink! I need hot pink roses. MY LAST BOYFRIEND DID EVERYTHING RIGHT, WHY CAN’T YOU?” I mocked her in a high-pitched voice, making all the boys laugh. “Oh, and by the way, I love you, honey,” I said, adding on one more thing as Jennifer in a falsely sweet voice.

“Well, whether it was torture or not, you still went through with it which means…” Paul started. “DRUM ROLL PLEASE!” he requested, turning on the spot and pointing to Seth. Seth banged repeatedly on the nearest locker, mocking the sound of a drum as Paul turned back to me. “You still have to tell Calypso!” he shouted happily, making Seth stop and begin walking with us again.

“Oh, that’s right, Jakey!” Jared teased, throwing his arm around my shoulder and pinching my cheek harder than necessary. “When do you plan to break the poor girl’s heart—I mean tell her!” I sighed, stopped so that Jared had to stop too, and punched him in the lower gut with all my might. He let out a huff and doubled over, holding his stomach. The rest of us walked on, leaving him to suffer.

“I dunno. I mean, I’ll figure out a time,” I said shrugging.

“Well you’d better tell her before Jennifer does, because you know she will as soon as she gets the chance,” Quil warned as Jared ran to catch up with us.

“Yeah, and you’d better take care of Calypso,” Embry cautioned seriously. “I’ve never seen Jennifer look like that before. I think she means business.” I nodded.

“Yeah, I know,” I agreed. “I couldn’t get that off my mind either.” Paul let out a low whistle.

“It’s gonna be an interesting school year,” he said.

“All we can do is pray for a catfight!” Embry whispered, putting his palms together and looking up at the sky. Everyone laughed and exchanged high-fives as we walked into the library. When I got in there, I saw Calypso sitting next to Oliver Matthews, star quarterback, and he was definitely on his game today. She seemed to be really into him and I felt ready to go over there and pummel him to a bloody pulp. I started walking over there, feeling the familiar sense of rage begin to boil through me when I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

“Don’t,” Seth said simply. “There’s no point.” I turned around to face him.

“What do you mean ‘There’s no point’? I wanna beat out the competition,” I explained.

“You wanna beat up the competition, and it would be pointless,” he said.

“How?” I demanded, starting to get agitated with him.

“Because ultimately, there is no competition,” he huffed, as if his point were obvious. “You’ve imprinted on her, meaning she’s got to fall in love with you! It’s just how it goes. Let her have her fun until she realizes you’re her one and only, and then you guys will live happily ever after! The end,” he explained. I smiled.

“You know, for being younger than me, you sure are smart,” I admitted, patting him on the shoulder. Keeping my hand on him, I looked around at Calypso and Oliver. “I really wanna go over there and rip his intestines out through his ass though…” I wished aloud. Seth stepped behind me and shoved me forward.

“Yeah, well go read a book or something,” he ordered, kicking at my butt. I grinned, and went to go grab a book off the shelves.

“Only ‘cuz you’re so smart,” I teased as I walked over to the shelves, him coming with me.

“Yeah, why don’t you go shove it up your—”

“Watch your mouth,” I sing-songed, cracking open a book and glancing up at him with a smirk. He shook his head and grabbed a book himself. We tried to sit down and read them, but after thirty seconds, he looked up at me. “What?” I asked.

“Instead of reading these, why don’t we do something useful with them?” Seth said, smirking evilly.

“Like?” I asked, laughing.

“Like beating Quil and Embry over the head with them,” he suggested, standing up.

“I like your thinking,” I said, standing up as well. We then headed off to look for Quil and Embry.