I Won't Say I'm in Love

Math, I thought to myself. Taking a deep breath, I walked into the classroom, Jacob sulking right behind me. I glided into the room and saw Kyle sitting at our table, reading a book once again. I took a quick intake of breath as I watched him ruffle up his silky black hair, his purple eyes sparkling. I walked over to him, reminding myself to breathe as I watched his eyes scan the page of his book. Setting my books down on the corner of the table, I pretended not to notice when he looked up at me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him look me up and down, his eyes seeming to undress me. And, surprisingly, I didn’t seem to mind. “Hey,” I greeted simply as I sat in my chair, finally turning my gaze to him.

“Hey,” he breathed, his eyes now resting on mine. I smiled at him. “How—how are you?” he asked, now regaining composure. Closing his book and setting it aside, he straightened up and looked at me once again.

“Good. Tired,” I replied. And it wasn’t a lie. I had been up all night the night before, thinking about Kyle and how today would go. Shame on me. It was only the second day of school and I was already starting to fall hopelessly for some boy. Sigh.

“You look…” he started. Pausing to scan me once again, he let his purple eyes collide with my brown ones as he smiled. “Hot,” he finished, raising an eyebrow at me. I laughed as I looked down at the table.

“You’re quite straightforward, aren’t you?” I asked, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. I silently thanked God that I had chocolate brown skin, or else he would see my blush.

“No reason to beat around the bush,” he pointed out. “I’m just saying what every other guy is thinking. Minus a few kinky details.” I looked back up at him, my eyes wide and a smile on my face. He winked at me, making my heart leap.

“Class, eyes to the front please,” Mr. Burns ordered. Our eyes lingered on each other for a few more moments before I smirked and looked back to the front of the class, Kyle following my lead a few moments later.

Throughout the forty-five minutes, we kept sneaking glances at each other and smiling, quickly averting our gaze when our eyes met. Finally, the bell rang, and both of us gathered our things.
“So, um, do you think you’d mind going out on another ‘friend outing’ tonight?” Kyle asked me as we walked to my locker. I looked over at him. Although I tried not to look it, I was thrilled. My heart was pumping and I felt just about ready to fly.

“What do you mean?” I inquired as I opened my locker. I kept my eyes trained on the lock to open it up. Right 21, left 43, right 7…

My locker opened up, revealing my black bag. Sweet success.

“I dunno. Maybe we could like, go see a movie, get something to eat. Or go bowling. Or indoor rock climbing, I really don’t mind; it’d be up to you,” he rambled, making me smile as we began walking toward his locker.

“Like…a date?” I tried to clarify, cocking an eyebrow at him. He thought about it as he opened his locker, concentrating excessively on his combination as well. Then, once he had pulled out his backpack and helmet, he looked to me and smiled.

“Yeah,” he answered shutting his locker door. We proceeded down the hallway. “Like a date.” I smiled at him until a few seconds later, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my middle from behind me and yank me back a few inches.

“Oof,” I groaned, doubling over. I knew it was one of the boys; my back suddenly became about twenty degrees warmer.

“Hey, you,” a voice whispered in my ear, sending chills up my spine. Jacob.

“Hey,” I greeted half-heartedly, prying myself away from him to walk next to Kyle. Jake walked on the other side of me. I definitely didn’t want Kyle to get the wrong idea about Jake and me. Especially since he seemed to be a little disappointed and threatened at the same time. And I couldn’t really blame him. If I was a guy trying to make my move on some girl and all of a sudden, Jacob Black comes up and hugs her?

What guy wouldn’t be threatened by him? He was beautiful, extremely well-built, tan, sparkling eyes…

He was kind…gentle…funny…sweet…

I shook myself out of my temporary stupor and returned my attention to Kyle, who was now looking simply confused. “Kyle, this is my friend, Jacob. Jake, this Kyle,” I introduced politely from between the boys.

“Aw, c’mon, Calypso. Just friend? I practically live with you!” he exclaimed, pulling me into him from around my waist. I looked back and saw the shock on Kyle’s face. Pushing myself away from Jake rather roughly, I turned all of my attention to Kyle.

“He doesn’t actually live with me. He’s just a mooch. He and all of his friends. They only come to eat our food, that’s really it,” I tried to explain, putting emphasis on some parts and turning my back on Jake as all three of us proceeded to the front doors.

“That’s not the only reason. We come to see you too,” he added, putting his arms around my waist from behind and resting his chin on my shoulder. Now I saw what he was trying to do. He was trying to threaten Kyle! Wasn’t he already doing enough just by being here? Why couldn’t he just keep quiet and let me fix what he had already damaged?

“I mean, if you were us, wouldn’t you wanna come see her too? Prancing around the house in her Victoria’s Secret—”

“Jake!” I hissed, turning my head to face him.

“And what about her face?” he continued, now stopping, making me stop and Kyle as well. “Isn’t it just the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” he asked Kyle, squishing my cheeks together with one of his giant hands, making my lips form a pout. Crossing my eyes first to look at my lips, I then frowned and cut my eyes at him.

“Jake!” I screeched. The sound came out rather mangled though, considering the current state of my mouth.

“Yeah. Yeah, it is.” That was Kyle’s voice. My eyes looked to him and I was caught rather off-guard by the intensity of which he was staring at me. His eyes looked hurt, making my desire to kick Jake in his balls increase. Kyle turned and left, deciding to leave the school another way.

I simply stared at the place where Kyle had been mere moments ago, the vision of his eyes burning a hole in my brain. Maneuvering my head so that my face was no longer pressed between Jacob’s fingers, I pushed away from him.

“You’re an ass, you know that?!” I screamed at him, shoving him against a locker, him laughing all the while. He seemed to think he was really clever. I stormed off, now walking full speed toward the doors. Who knew Jake could be such a jerk…

Jacob’s Point of View

Why’d I have to be such a jerk? I thought to myself, leaning the back of my head up against the locker. Maybe I had pushed it just a bit too far. But only a bit.

Standing up straight, I started to walk after her, but I was stopped in my tracks at the sight of her perfect…well, for lack of a better word…ass. Stopping to stare for a few moments, I finally regained my composure and walked after her. Since Calypso was still quite a few yards in front of me once we got outside, I expected her to meet me at the truck…

But then she walked right past it!

“Wait, Calypso!” I shouted. She was walking by the school towards Emily and Sam’s house now, quite a ways away. I ran to my truck, opened the door, put my key in the ignition and…

And…

Aaaand…

Nothing. “Dammit,” I muttered, leaning against my seat. My truck was having one of its days. Every now and again, it decided that it wouldn’t start because it was mad at me or something. I guess it had a right to be mad at me though. I had been kind of an ass. I looked up and saw that Calypso was only a speck in the distance, still walking extremely fast.

“I hope she doesn’t walk too fast,” I muttered. “She might literally walk her ass off.” And that would be a shame.

I had been sitting in the car for about ten minutes trying to start my lovable piece of crap. Calypso was probably halfway home by now. Finally, I turned my key in the ignition and heard my car roar to life.

“It’s about time, you load of junk!” I shouted affectionately , smiling and patting my dashboard. Then, I put my foot to the gas pedal, pressed down and sped out of the almost empty parking lot. I drove down the road, looking for Calypso everywhere. Finally, I saw a perfectly shaped black and white figure walking down the sidewalk. “Gotcha,” I murmured, eyeing my prey.

I let the car slowly rumble up to where she was and I drove beside her. I had to lean over and roll down the passenger side window to talk to her, all while driving the car. This girl’s got me jumping through hoops for her. This whole imprinting thing is starting to become just a bit obnoxious…

I watched as she pushed her hair behind her ear. Her profile was breathtaking. I almost forgot to keep the car going straight as I admired the perfect way her nose was shaped, or how her cheekbones were flawlessly structured, or how the heart shaped birthmark on the back of her neck seemed to be tilted slightly on it’s side.

…but I don’t mind.

“Calypso, get in the car,” I ordered softly. She gave me no answer, but simply kept walking. “Calypso, c’mon! I thought you two would be able to take a joke—” She cut me off, as I knew she eventually would.

“You were being a bitch, Jake! ‘Prancing around in her Victoria’s Secret?' Really?” she screeched, turning only her head to look at me.

“You were the one who didn’t let me finish. I was going to say ‘Victoria’s Secret pajamas,’” I teased. She scoffed at me, turned her head and kept on walking. Now I was getting frustrated. Pushing my foot onto the gas, I zoomed a few feet ahead of her and then swerved onto the sidewalk, right in front of her. She stumbled back and glared at me as I reached over and opened the passenger side door.

“Get in,” I demanded in a level voice. She narrowed her eyes at me and stuck out her tongue. Then, shifting her bag to her other elbow, she walked around the back of my truck so she was in the street for a few moments, then back up onto the sidewalk. Looking back out my windshield, I sighed. “I can’t believe I’m about to do this…” I muttered, closing my eyes.

Turning off the engine and closing the passenger door, I got out, locked the car and headed off after Calypso. “C’mon, I said I was sorry,” I protested, walking beside her. She shook her head.

“No actually. You didn’t,” she informed me.

“Really?” I asked. “I could’ve sworn I did…” I thought aloud.

“Well, you didn’t,” she snapped, looking at me for a few seconds only to glare. She then returned her attention ahead of her. I sighed and stepped in front of her, making her stop.

Placing my hands on her shoulders (silently taking note of how perfectly my hands fit there) and bending my knees slightly to look her in the eye, I said, “Well, I’m sorry.” She sighed and looked toward the sky with her eyes only, a slight smile on her face.

“For...?” she cued. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“I’m sorry for being an ass,” I apologized. She returned her gaze to me and smiled softly, making my insides melt.

She nodded and placed her arms around my waist. I straightened up, but craned my neck as she stood on tiptoe to kiss me on my forehead for the second time today. I let my eyes flutter closed as her lips rested on my skin, my body ready to combust. Then, that dreaded moment came where her lips left me. Taking in a deep, shaky breath, I straightened up and wrapped my arms around her waist as well.

“You’re forgiven,” she whispered to me, smiling. I beamed down at her. Then, rather suddenly, I scooped her up onto my back, my hands cupped below her knees like the semi-gentleman I was. “Jake! What are you doing? Where are we going?” she shrieked in my ear as I changed our normal route to Sam and Emily’s place.

“To my house,” I briefly explained, running with her on my back. I could hear her laughter in my ear, making my heart and stomach leap with joy at her glee. We continued like that for sometime. She eventually became accustomed to the new transportation method. She laid her head on my shoulder, and tightened her legs around my hips.

“We’re almost there,” I informed her, slowing my run to a jog.

“Wanna race?” she asked, lifting her head off my shoulders. I glanced back at her, now slowing to a walk.

“You think you can beat me?” I inquired curiously, cocking an eyebrow. She slid off my back.

“I dunno. Maybe,” she admitted, putting her hands on her hips. I sighed and smiled at her.

“Alright,” I agreed. We lined our toes up at the nearest crack in the sidewalk. She began taking off her heels. “Ready…” I started. “Set…” Calypso sped off, running down the road.

“HEY! THAT’S CHEATING!” I shouted before running after her. She looked, around still running, letting her long, raven black hair whip around in the wind. Her smile was breathtaking and her laugh was just…it was beyond words. The sun broke through the clouds for just a moment and shined purely on her, basking her in a halo of light. She was a vision. My heart beat for her; I lived to hold her and make all her troubles disappear. She was my life, the reason I was created. In short…

I loved her.

And I already knew that, but every now and again, the thought would hit me so abruptly and so violently and so wonderfully that I couldn’t help but smile.

“Jake, which house?” she yelled, still running the other way. I smiled as a diabolical plan formed in my head. I pointed to a bright blue house a few doors down from mine.

“That one!” I shouted. I knew for a fact that a cranky college student in her early twenties lived there and she hated being disturbed. “Just run on in, I’m sure the door’s open. I think my dad’s out!” She nodded and ran up the stone steps to the white door. I watched as she opened it up, me running even faster now so as to get to my house first. She disappeared into the house, closing the door after her and…

Wait for it…

Wait for it……..

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!” I heard the girl’s voice shriek as Calypso backed out of the house. I was now at my front porch, watching everything from there.

“I’m so sorry!” she apologized over and over again as she backed down the flower lined pathway, her hands up in surrender. The girl slammed the door, still shouting in her house. I had doubled over with laughter on my porch. I watched through the iron railings lining my front steps as Calypso turned to yell at me.

“You!” she screeched through her laughter, jogging to my porch. I straightened up, still laughing at her. “You dirty little bastard!” she giggled. I lifted a finger and waggled it at her.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk! Let’s watch our language, shall we?” I requested sarcastically. She finally reached the porch. She playfully hit me on my chest.

“Is this your house?” she asked, gesturing to the door. I nodded as I stuck my key into the lock and opened the door.

“Home, sweet home,” I welcomed, throwing my arms wide once we stepped over the threshold.

“Jake, is that you?” I heard my dad shout from the living room.

Calypso’s Point of View

A brown old man in a wheelchair rolled out of what appeared to be the living room and around the corner into the kitchen, which Jake and I were standing in. I figured we had entered through the side door. The man had long black hair and small, twinkling brown eyes. They matched Jacob’s exactly.

I guess you could say he was beautiful. His face was worn with smile lines, crow’s feet and a bunch of other types of wrinkles. I was sure a lot of them had stories behind them. “Hey, Dad,” Jake greeted. The man’s smiling face was fixed on mine.

“Is this who I think it is?” he asked his son. I saw Jake give a small smile from my peripheral vision.

“This is Calypso. She just moved here about a month ago,” he introduced. “Calypso, this is my dad.” I reached out a hand to shake the man’s.

“Call me Billy,” the man insisted as his warm, leathery hand shook mine. I noticed that it wasn’t nearly as warm as Jacob’s, who always seemed to be about twenty degrees warmer than any other human.

“Sounds like a plan, Billy. Though that...doesn't really rhyme...Can I call you Stan instead?” I said, hoping to charm him. Letting go of my hand, he threw back his head and laughed.

“Sam said you were funny,” he told me. I felt a jolt go through my body as I comprehended Billy’s words.

“He told you about me?” I asked him, raising my eyebrows.

Billy smiled. “That boy never stops talking about you. And neither does this one,” he teased, nodding towards Jacob. Jake frowned and his toasted marshmallow colored skin became slightly redder.

“Dad,” he hissed, his eyes now daggers. I smiled and shook my head. Just then, another man came out from the living room. Unlike Billy, he was walking and was decked out in what looked like a sheriff’s uniform. The man smiled at me.

“You must be Jake’s girl,” he laughed, reaching a hand over Billy’s chair to shake mine, his other hand holding a beer can. Jake sighed and rolled his eyes. I laughed.

“I guess so,” I resigned. For some reason, I didn’t seem to mind being known as “Jake’s girl,” and the butterflies in my stomach that appeared whenever Jacob was around got especially excited. I shook the man’s hand and it, like Billy’s, was an average temperature.

“I’m Charlie,” he introduced himself, his hand letting go of mine.

“I’m Calypso,” I acquainted.

“Have you read The Odyssey?” Charlie asked me. He took a sip of his beer with his eyes trained on me as I answered.

“A few times,” I replied, nodding.

“How’d you like Calypso?” he questioned. I shrugged.

“She’s okay. I mean, it was kind of selfish of her to try and keep Odysseus forever, but I guess I get it. She was a beautiful goddess trapped on an island with nothing but female company and the only men that ever wandered by were too incompetent for a goddess like herself. If I were her and I stumbled upon the first guy in decades that was worthy of me, I’d hold onto him too.” Billy and Charlie nodded their heads in approval.

“And Odysseus is an ass anyway. I’m sure no one really missed him too much,” I added with a wink. Everyone laughed at that.

“Do you like Greek Mythology?” Jake asked me as we sat down on the couch. I was in between him and Charlie, Billy in his wheel chair next to the sheriff. “You seem to talk about it a lot,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. I’m not quite sure why I like it so much, but I find it interesting,” I admitted.

“Whose your favorite god?” Billy asked me.

“Aphrodite,” I answered immediately. All the guys groaned.

“What is this?” Jacob exclaimed, laughing. “First your favorite color’s yellow, now your favorite goddess is Aphrodite. What’s next? You like white chocolate?” I smiled and looked Jacob right in his eye.

“I love white chocolate!” I admitted proudly. All the guys groaned again and I laughed, picking my head back up.

“Why don’t you stay for dinner, Calypso?” Billy offered. Charlie’s face brightened at the idea.

“We could have a barbecue,” he suggested. I smiled.

“That sounds yummy!” I agreed. Jacob smiled beside me and I smiled at him as well.

“Let’s go get it set up,” Bill said, wheeling himself into the kitchen, Charlie right behind him.

“Consider the parentals charmed,” he sighed, putting an arm across the back of the couch behind me. I furrowed my brow.

“Wait…Charlie and Billy…they’re not…y’know…together?” Jacob frowned at my question. My eyes widened and I waved my hands in the air shaking my head.

“Because I’m okay if they are! I just didn’t know—” Jacob began laughing and shaking his head.

“No, they’re not like that. They’re just really good friends is all,” he assured me. I became calm once again as Jacob composed himself. “But you had to impress Charlie because I used to have a thing for his daughter and Charlie was all for it. You just had to prove to him that you’re better for me.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “So this was me getting their blessing to date you?” I asked him. His eyes widened as he realized my question. I smirked and looked at the blank T.V screen as he answered.

“No! No, no, no, no, no. This was more like you proving you’re cool because—”

“Because you talk about me so much?” I teased, looking back at him now as I leaned against him. I could feel his body tense up as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I settled myself into him and rested my chin on his chest, looking up at him. He was staring right over my head at the wall, smiling.

I silently appreciated the way his jaw line was so strong and the shape and thickness of his eyebrows. His black hair—longer than any of his friends’—was naturally spiky in the way most guys spent hours in the mirror trying to achieve.

“Shut up,” was all he could muster as a comeback to my previous taunting. He looked down at me and grinned, making my heart beat so fast that I was sure he could feel it, just as I could feel his hammering as well. I grinned and laid my head on his chest, listening to his uneven breathing and his racing heart as we snuggled as I closed my eyes.

No, not snuggle. This is not snuggling. I repeat this is not snuggling. You are simply lying on your friend, unable to control your breathing. This is a perfectly normal thing for friends to do. No snuggling is occurring at this moment.

I cherished the way his fingers stroking my scalp and hair felt as we lie there, the only sounds being Jacob’s heart and Charlie and Billy from the backyard.

I could get used to this not snuggling thing…



"Have a good night, Calypso. It was so nice meeting you,” Billy said on my way out the door with Jacob.

“You too! Good night, Charlie!” I shouted over my shoulder as we headed down the stairs.

“’Night, Calypso! Take care of that girl, Jake,” he ordered as Jake and I headed down the street.

“Will do, Charlie. I’ll be home soon,” Jacob shouted to his dad without looking back. And with that, we heard the door close.

“Your dad’s a sweetheart. And so is Charlie,” I said, smiling as I reflected on the night. After eating hot dogs and hamburgers, we all played games like Sorry! , Uno, Life and got halfway through a game of Monopoly before we realized it was ten o’clock on a school night.

“Meh. He’s alright,” Jacob admitted, smiling at the ground as we both took a right.

“You’re really lucky, you know that? And whoever Charlie’s daughter is? Bella? She’s really lucky too,” I informed him with a sharp pang of jealousy in my chest. I kept my eyes glued to the ground, but I saw Jacob look at my profile and frown.

“What makes you say that?” he questioned softly. I looked up and frowned into the night, the cool wind blowing my hair back and brushing my cheeks.

“My dad sucks,” I said simply. My heart throbbed sadly, knowing that that statement was all too true. Jacob shook his head.

“Aw, c’mon, your old man can’t be that bad,” Jacob insisted lightly.

“Do you know how many conversations we’ve had from the time I could talk to the time I ran away?” I asked him, desperately willing my voice not to crack as I turned to look at him. Jacob’s expression was filled with sorrow as he watched my face. “Eight,” I spat, anger flooding my veins now. “He cared enough eight times to wonder about me. How I was doing—what I was doing!

“My brother and I could have come home at any hour of the night, high, drunk, with someone, and he wouldn’t even notice.” Jacob frowned slightly at me.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” he murmured, not wanting to believe that people actually had lives like that; parents like that.

“My brother came home with girls, drunk and high plenty of times. My dad was always too busy planning his next drug deal or getting busy with a hooker to notice, let alone care,” I hissed.

“Did he ever…hurt you?” Jacob asked, an expression of worry mingled with protectiveness on his face. I snorted and looked away, kicking at a small pebble on the ground.

“No. But sometimes, I’d wish he did hit me. Then I’d have no doubt that he knew I existed. I wished he would yell profanities at me about being a slut and never being good enough for anything besides lying on my back. Then, at least I’d know he cared what I became and how the world saw me.” My voice was beginning to tremble now and I could feel traitorous tears threatening to spill over.

Jacob didn’t say anything, though I could sense that he desperately wanted to—wanted to say something to comfort me, to make everything better—but he knew he couldn’t. And instead of trying, he just stopped and held me. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest, breathing in his intoxicating scent. I no longer wanted to cry. I no longer felt the need to. Everything was suddenly fine and perfect. My upside down world was tipped right side up with nothing but a simple embrace.

We held each other like that for some time before we walked the rest of the way to the car in silence. When we arrived at the car, parked horizontally across the sidewalk, I hugged him again. “I’m sorry,” I apologized, now embarrassed by my impromptu freak-out session.

I didn’t know why I had opened up like that to him. I didn’t open up with anybody like that. Ever. But there was something different about Jacob. Something that made me feel safer. Like I could tell him anything I dared and he wouldn’t only listen, but be accepting of it and me as well. Those two qualities were very hard to find in a person, especially the latter. I couldn’t put my finger on what made Jacob so different. Not yet…

Jake grinned down at me, a quizzical expression on his face.

“You’re apologizing because your dad’s an S.O.B?” he asked. I laughed and hugged him tighter before letting go.

“Just open the damn car,” I giggled, stepping back so he could do so. He put the key in the passenger side door, shaking his head and chuckling. He opened my door for me, as he always did and I slid onto the brown leather seat. He closed my door and walked around to the driver’s side, getting in as well. He put the key in the ignition and started the car, now turning down the road toward Sam and Emily’s house.

“So who is Bella, anyway?” I asked curiously. I was quite eager to know whom it was that Jake had had a crush on for so long.

“Bella is an old family friend,” he said, obviously not wanting to go a lot further than that. I, however, being stubborn, pushed on with my questioning.

“Whom you used to like,” I contributed. He nodded, his eyes now glued to the road. “A lot,” I continued. He nodded again.

“I loved her,” he declared plainly. My heart seemed to hurt just a bit. Okay, not just a bit. It felt like it had been wrenched out of my chest and strewn across the road in front of us for Jacob to run over in his truck. “And I still do,” he added, my throat ready to scream. “But not like that anymore. Like a sister,” he clarified. I nodded, my heart climbing back into my chest, seemingly unharmed. I didn’t understand why it had hurt so much to comprehend the thought of him once romantically loving another girl and I didn’t want to delve deep enough to discover why. The thought terrified me.

“What was she like?” I asked him.

“Pretty. Kind. She was quiet, but secretly had a sense of humor,” he reminisced with a slight smile on his face. I tried frantically to keep the obnoxious little green monster named Jealousy at bay, but he crept into my thoughts like the little demon he was.

“She was determined. And it was funny because she looks so frail; when she got mad at me, I couldn’t help but be reminded of a lamb shouting at a wolf,” he explained. He laughed now, and his laughter was full of affection. My heart squeezed tight, as if it were defending itself from any more harm. And now I was even more anxious to defeat my jealousy, and even more resolute to not understand why I was reacting in this way.

“What happened?” I asked, skillfully composing my voice. Jacob’s face darkened.

“She didn’t love me enough,” he answered bitterly. “She was in love with a boy named Edward Cullen and, inevitably, he was in love with her as well. They got married. Had a kid. And now they live happily ever after in their perfect house with their perfect family in Forks, Washington.” I couldn’t help but take note of the fact that he was gripping the steering wheel so hard, he had left dents in it.

“How old is she?” I asked him.

“Eighteen,” he muttered, his voice becoming light again, but not his face. “Technically,” I thought I saw him mouth. I was shocked at the age. That was only one year older than me!

“Did she ever go to college?” I asked incredulously. Jacob simply shook his head and clutched the steering wheel even tighter now. I was afraid it would break.

“He took so much from her…” he whispered in a voice I had never heard from him, or even expected he was capable of.

“Are they still happy?” I questioned as we pulled into the gravel driveway in front of the small, faded gray house.

“As far as I know,” he answered. And then, the most horrible question for both Jacob and me…

“Do you miss her?”

Jacob put the car in park, and then there was silence. Jacob leaned back in his chair and furrowed his brow, staring ahead at the small house.

“Yes,” he whispered, turning to me after a few moments of thought.

“Then why don’t you visit her?” I asked, mentally kicking myself for the suggestion. “If you miss her this much, she probably misses you too.” It pained me to be putting this idea into his head, but it hurt a million times worse to see him this way. He looked at me curiously, as if I was some foreign organism.

“Will you come with me?” he asked cautiously. I was about ready to leap with joy. He wanted me to come see his old flame? He didn’t want desperately to be alone with her and convince her to return to him? Not that I cared or anything…

“Yeah! Sure, I’d love to! When?” I agreed. Jacob smiled at my enthusiasm.

“Let’s try for tomorrow after school. I’ll have to call them of course, but if they answer…well, we’ll see how it goes,” he told me as he got out of the car. Walking around to my side of the car, he held my door open for me as usual.

“Jacob, you’re gonna have to wind it down on the gentleman act. I’m gonna get spoiled,” I teased as we walked down the drive to the side door.

“Gladly,” he growled, pulling my body into his so that I was pressed snugly into his warm, firm body. My heart sped up so fast and became so loud, I would’ve been surprised if he couldn’t hear it. I wanted so badly not to be affected by this act, this joke…but with the way the moonlight reflected off his skin giving him an angelic glow and the way his eyes glittered and how his strong arms were holding me so close to him in such a seductive way…

...it would have been impossible not to be affected.

“Jacob, stop it,” I breathed pathetically, an unconvincing and frequently faltering smirk on my face. I convinced myself to push away from him, but as soon as I did, I immediately regretted it, missing the feel of his body against mine. Jacob smiled and we began to walk back down to the house. The porch light was on and I saw Emily and Sam sitting at the table through the window, holding hands and talking. I admired how they interacted. It was as if they were the only two people in the world. They were so apparently and violently in love, it made Romeo and Juliet seem like vengeful enemies.

They weren’t like those couples that had to be touching and kissing all the time to let the world know they loved each other. No, all anyone had to do was catch Sam in the act when he smiled at Emily from across the room, across the chaos, and immediately, that person would know that they were meant to be. I longed for a love like that. Craved it, needed it. I yearned for it so badly, it made my heart break just to think that that would be nearly impossible.

But then I remembered how dangerous that was. “The harder you fall, the more it hurts when you land,” was what I had always lived by. It would suck to wake up next to your fat, smelly husband and remember when he was fit and charming and spontaneous. When he loved you and you loved him and nothing in the world could ever tear you apart. No. It’s definitely better to never really be in love and avoid life-threatening heartbreak when reality hits. Fairy tale love didn’t exist, hence the name fairy tale love. It was stupid to covet such a thing and I felt stupid for wanting it, even just for a moment.

“Hey, you wanna see if they even notice us?” Jake asked, snapping me out of my angsty brooding. I looked up at his smiling face and my body and soul immediately sprang to life once again as my eyes met his. I nodded and we both ran silently to the window. We made a bunch of silly faces and crazy poses in the window—Jake actually mooned them once—but they didn’t even notice, they were so wrapped up in each other’s presence. Laughing after about two minutes of this infantile behavior, Jake and I walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, lovebirds,” he greeted as if he didn’t just attempt to show them his bare ass a few minutes ago. Emily and Sam looked up from each other’s faces and over to Jake. They seemed to be quite disoriented, as if waking up from a deep sleep with dreamy smiles on their faces.

“Oh! You’re back!” Emily said. I noticed she didn’t let go of Sam’s hand however.

“How was it?” she asked me as I walked over to lean against the counter. Sam seemed to be eyeing Jacob warily as he crossed the kitchen to lean next to me, but he didn’t notice.

“Awesome. Billy and Charlie kick major ass,” I replied, smiling and nodding my head. Jake went to put his arm around my waist, but retracted it as soon as it touched me due to Sam’s low growl. I frowned at this interaction as Jake blushed and used his arm to scratch his head instead, looking at the ground.

“I’ve gotta go,” he murmured, beginning to walk away. For some reason, my heart seemed to cry at the thought of him leaving without saying goodbye.

“Wait! You’ll be here in the morning to pick me up?” I inquired, clutching at his hand. Jacob turned and smiled at me.

“Of course, silly,” he said, leaning over to kiss me on the forehead. “That’s my favorite part of the day,” he added in a silky, seductive voice that gave me goosebumps. I grinned and let go of his hand. Watching him walk out the door, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness as he left.

“I’m gonna go to bed, I’m pooped,” I said to Sam and Emily. We all exchanged our goodnights as I kissed each of them on the cheek. Heading upstairs to my room, I brooded myself to sleep, hating the fact that Jake and I could no longer spend every waking moment of every day with each other the way we had during the summer.

“Stupid school,” I yawned before turning on my side and drifting peacefully into La La Land…

Jacob’s Point of View

Sam had obviously seen my fantasy this morning. I could only wonder how I would ever get him to trust me alone with Calypso again. Sam already felt an insanely strong connection with Calypso as I read from his thoughts, and I could only imagine that Emily felt the same way. No wonder he had reacted so strongly when I tried touch her below her chin. I wondered about how tomorrow would go when he and I would actually have to speak. I shuddered at the thought. I pulled into the garage out back and got out of the car, practically sprinting into the house.

“Hey, Jake,” Billy said as I rushed past him to the kitchen to get the phone. Charlie had gone home, so my dad was sitting in the living room, sipping a soda—he had already had a grand total of four beers tonight—and inattentively watching what seemed to be a cooking show. I immediately picked the phone up off the receiver and dialed Bella’s number. I knew she wouldn’t be asleep. She was one of them now and she didn’t sleep. The thought pained me; made me want to tear my heart out. I hadn’t wanted this for her. I had wanted her to stay human. Why couldn’t she have just stayed human? What was so wrong with that? The phone rang once…twice…three times…. Just when I thought she wouldn’t answer, she picked up.

“Hello?” said a melodic voice through the phone. For a minute, I thought I had the wrong number. Bella’s voice wasn’t that whimsical. It was normal. But then I realized that Bella wasn’t normal anymore, so why should her voice be? Apparently, I had spent quite a while thinking, because Bella had to say, “Hello?” again before I replied.

“B-Bella?” I stammered, not wanting her to hang up on me. “It’s Jake,” I said. There was silence.

“Jake?” she whispered excitedly. I smiled when I realized that she was happy to hear my voice. “Oh my God! I haven’t heard from you in so long! How are you?” she asked.

“I’m great. I was wondering how you’re doing actually,” I said.

“I’m fantastic, as is the family. Renesmee looks like she’s eight now, can you believe it? An one and a half year old looking like she’s eight?” Bella gasped, awe-struck.

“Jeez! That’s amazing, Bells!” I exclaimed, using her old nickname.

“Isn’t it!” she giggled.

“Bella, I was actually wondering something,” I told her, beginning my request.

“Yeah?” she breathed.

“Could I come over after-school tomorrow? Y’know, to say hi? Catch up? I miss you and…” I stopped after that, unable and unwilling to finish my sentence. Bella was silent. I was afraid she would deny my request.

“Jake…I would love that,” she answered, her voice trembling. I smiled, elated at how thrilled she was to be able to see me.

“And, I have to ask one more thing,” I said.

“Shoot,” she allowed.

“I’ve…I’ve imprinted and I was wondering if I could bring her along too,” I requested nervously.

“Are you serious, Jake? Oh my God! That would be wonderful! I can’t wait to meet her. Tell me about her!” she demanded happily. I smiled and sat on the counter.

“Bella, she’s the most amazing girl in the world. She’s beautiful, smart, hilariously funny, kind, wild, loud, absolutely nuts and one day she’s gonna be all mine,” I told her dreamily, whispering the last part.

“One day?” she muttered, confused.

“Well, she doesn’t seem to be romantically into me yet, but she’s getting there. I can feel it,” I assured her, completely confident. I could practically hear Bella smiling.

“Of course you can bring her along. I can’t wait to meet her. So you guys will be here around? Two thirty? Three?” she asked. I nodded, but then realized I was on the phone, so she couldn’t interpret that.

“Yeah,” I confirmed.

“Alright. Talk to you soon, Jake,” she said.

“Bye,” I said, getting ready to hang up.

“And Jake? One last thing,” she insisted. I waited. “Thanks for calling. It’s good to hear your voice. It’s…good to know you still care,” she murmured. I grinned, my heart swelling.

“Anytime, Bella, honey. I’ll see you soon,” I said softly into the phone. She then hung up, as did I.

Today had been quite a successful day.