You're the Light on the Dark Side of Me

I opened my eyes slowly to see nothing but white and a very bright light, I blinked once and everything started to become real as I realized I was in a hospital room.

“Honey? Oh you’re awake.” My mother said gripping my hand even tighter in hers as her eyes were red and swallowing, she had been crying.

“Mom? What happened?” I asked flinching at the pain I felt in my chest and arm.

I looked at myself and I had my left arm completely bandaged as so as my left leg.

“You got a few several burns but you’re going to be okay.” She smiled relieved.

“And Jared?” I asked smiling.

My mom closed her mouth and looked away.

“Mom?” I asked fear starting to invade my heart.

She didn’t answer and I knew immediately that something was wrong so I slipped out of bed quickly.

“Where is he?” I asked trying to ignore the pain my leg was causing.

“Patrícia! Come back to bed.” My mom begged.

“Sorry mom but I have to see him. Where is he?” I asked.

“Four rooms to the right.” She said.

I walked as fast as I could and I entered the room like a hurricane. Shannon was sleeping on a small couch on the corner and when I landed my eyes on Jared they widened as tears slipped down though I made no sound. He was completely bandaged and the only thing we could see was his face and his hands, I walked to his side still crying and I grabbed his hand in mine carefully squeezing it.

It’s all my fault I thought sucking a deep breath as I felt my hand be squeezed, I opened my eyes as Jared’s were looking at me.

“Don’t cry.” He said weakly.

“Oh my God!” I squealed happily as he smiled at my happiness.

I bent down and kissed him softly trying to never hurt him.

“I’m sorry this is all my fault.” I said sobbing quietly.

“It’s not I was just mad. I should have figured this stuff with Colin sooner I knew he wouldn’t keep his mouth shut.” Jared said smiling weakly.

“Miss Valentine you were supposed to be in bed.” A man said entering the room but smiling.

I stared at him also smiling.

“I’m Dr. Collins. How are you feeling Mr. Leto?” He asked checking Jared’s monitor with a concerned look.

“Good.” Jared answered as I heard someone yawn.

I turned around to see Shannon opening his eyes slowly and sitting up.

“Sis!” He said excitedly jumping from the couch, hugging me tightly.

“Shannon!” I yelled hugging him as tightly.

“Miss Valentine I have to request for you to go your room to receive your treatment.” Dr. Collins said gently.

“Alright. See you later guys.” I said kissing Jared’s lips sweetly.

I went to my room where nurses were waiting to apply some of kind of lotion on my body and then they gave me some pain killers that started to make me feel very sleepy.

“Mom where’s dad?” I was able to ask.

“He’s home resting, he spent the whole night here with you.” She said caressing my forehead.

“Okay…” I mumbled as I feel asleep.

The next day

I woke up realizing that I had slept the whole day and night. I looked to my side and my dad was there observing me.

“Hi dad.” I greeted smiling.

“Hi sweetheart. How are you feeling?” He asked tears already showing on his eyes.

I know I had made him go through a lot of suffering and concern. He couldn’t stand seeing me like this but that wasn’t just what was concerning him, something else was up. I could feel it.

“I’m feeling great and you?” I asked as my attention drifted to my mom who was sobbing quietly in front of the window.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

My dad grabbed my hands in his protectively and I felt the bad news coming.

“It’s Jared.” He stated.

“What happened?” I asked quietly feeling my bottom lip tremble.

“He had some kind of complication and he’s in a coma.” My dad said not facing my eyes.

I didn’t say anything, the tears wouldn't let me.

“Let me see him.” I cried.

“The doctor promised to pass by, he’s coming.” My dad said.

“No. I want to see him now.” I said calmly.

“But Patrícia…” My dad started.

“Now!” I said my eyes completely full of tears as I stood up shaking.

I was able to walk silently to Jared’s room all by myself already feeling the tears go down my eyes but nothing could prepare me to what I was about to see. I entered his room and when I set eyes on his peaceful face I broke into more tears falling onto my knees.

“Paty…” Shannon whispered kneeling down beside me.

“This can’t be happening…” I whispered crying onto his shoulder as he hugged me.

“Come sit here.” He said taking me to the couch.

I cried for what felt like hours but then I knew I had to stop. I had to help Shannon he needed me and I had to be strong and positive for Jared, he was a fighter.

“He’s going to come out of that coma.” I stated.

“Yes.” Shannon said his own tears going down his cheeks.

“I’m here bro. We gotta stay positive.” I said taking his hands in mine.

“You always say that.” Shannon smiled as he leaned in hugging me again.

“I knew you would be here.” Dr. Collins said shaking his head.

“What can we do?” I asked standing up.

“Paty you did everything you could, now only Jared can help himself.” He stated placing his hand on my shoulder.

I lowered my head, not even the doctors had hope.

“I know he’ll survive.” I said looking into his eyes.

“I hope so. Now excuse me.” He said and he left.

The next day

I took my breakfast, I did my treatment and I went towards Jared’s room to find Colin.

“Col?” I asked.

“Paty… I’m so sorry.” He said approaching me.

“Don’t. It was my fault.” I said.

“No it wasn’t, I teased him when I promised I wouldn’t.” Colin said.

“What are you doing here?!” Shannon asked loudly appearing by my side.

“Shannon he was just…” I started.

“No Paty he’s right. I’m sorry I just wanted to see how Jared was.” Colin explained.

“Not good thanks to you.” Shannon said coldly.

“Shannon!” I said looking at him.

“I know, you don’t need to tell me that. I’m sorry once again.” Colin said leaned in kissing my cheek and then leaving.

“Why did you say that?” I asked.

“It’s true.” Shannon stated standing next to Jared’s bed observing.

He started to sob quietly.

“Bro.” I said rubbing his back as he turned to me resting his head on top of mine.

I wrapped my arms around his middle as I started to cry too. Suddenly all the machines started to bip noisily and the doctors entered the room.

“I need a nurse here NOW!” Dr. Collins yelled.

“What’s happening?” I asked in panic as two nurses escorted us out.

Hours passed with Jared still inside the surgery room.

“I’m getting a cup of coffee, what anything?” Shannon asked.

“I’m not hungry.” I stated keeping my head between my hands as I felt my heart beat faster than ever.

My father was next to me with his hand resting in my back as I sobbed from time to time when finally one of the doctors came from inside the surgery room with a serious look.

I felt like if I was in a movie, you know when the doctors get the bad news but we don’t listen? We just see the people’s reactions that are mostly starting screaming and crying, I’m afraid that was going to happen now.

“Are you family?” She asked as Shannon arrived.

“I’m his older brother and she’s his girlfriend.” He said.

“Well I’m afraid that… we lost him.” She said as I broke into tears.

I didn’t say anything but I felt my whole body shaking, as warm tears went down my face.

“His heart stopped completely and we have no idea why. I’m sorry. You can come to see him if you want.” She said carefully.

Shannon grabbed my hand tightly.

“Do you want to?” He asked.

I nodded my head and he went inside with me. Jared had no bandages but most of his burns were amazingly healed. He was very pale but looking happy in a weird way. I approached his dead body under Shannon’s eyes and I grabbed his hand observing the ring he had. I kissed it my tears reaching it as I continued silent. I bent down and I kissed Jared’s lips softly.

“I love you.” I whispered as I continued to cry leaning my forehead against his afraid to just fall down.

Shannon’s arm went around my shoulders as he also cried. That day the doctors released me from the hospital and I went to a house that didn’t seem familiar.

I laid on my bed and I curled into a ball. I didn’t feel like talking or crying, I didn’t have more tears. But I felt a weight on my heart, a weight that hurt more than I ever thought it would. I kept observing the full moon and I gave it a weak smile, I had to be strong but it was too early to even think about that.