Do You Think I Want to Hurt You?

A few days later.

I sighed as I out away the last of my clothes into the large walk-in wardrobe. I’d finally decided to make myself feel a little bit more at home in the house and put away my possessions. So far nothing had happened at the house to do with the mysterious dead man. No one had come around and tried to kill us and no one had gone missing. That was good, right? I sighed quietly as I heard Tom screaming on the phone. A placed the last of my shirts on the hangers and straightened out my top as I walked out of the wardrobe. Tom walked in moments later and rubbed his temples, Obviously stressed out by the person on the other end of the phone.

“You okay?” I asked and he shook his head no. He sighed as he sat down on the bed.

“Nein, I’m not. That gang that we riled up the other day, They want to kill me. And you too! I’m not letting them go near you. You have to stay by my side at all times, Got it?” He asked and I nodded in understanding as I sat down beside him and wrapped my arms around him tightly. He hugged me back and sighed into my hair. In the short amount of time we’d been together, I’d really grown to like Tom. He’s been really sweet to me the past few days and much more loving.. “I really don’t want to lose you..” He said but then backed out of the hug quickly. Looking ashamed at himself.

“You.. Don’t?” I asked and he sighed putting his head in his hands.

“I.. Don’t know..” He said with a groan as he flopped back on the bed. “I don’t like showing feelings.” He said and I laid down next to him.

“There’s nothing wrong with showing feelings.” I said and he looked at me, His eyes cold and serious.

“It’s me, Tom fucking Kaulitz. I’m one of the meanest, Most brutal men in the fucking state. I can’t have feelings.” He said and I sat up on the bed, feeling annoyed by his outburst.

“Just because your Tom Kaulitz does not mean you don’t have feelings. Don’t even fucking say that.” I said as I stood up from the bed to stand in front of him. He looked up at me, his eyes never leaving my gaze as he stared up at me. “Your so fucking full of it. How can you apparently not have feelings? Are you not human? You maybe some psycho killer but guess what, Your still a person.” I shouted and he didn’t say anything. He didn’t even flinch as I took out all my bubbling anger on him. He stood up in front of me and took hold of my face pressing his lips roughly against mine, Confusion and anger filling the kiss. I sighed as he pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine. Holding my face a little too roughly for my liking.

“I don’t know what I feel anymore,” He said and I shivered as his warm breath hit my lips. “I won’t even hurt you. I.. I can’t do it.” He said his voice starting to shake as I saw tears in the corner of his eyes. “You fucking raised your voice at me. If anyone else did that they’d be on the floor begging me to stop but with you, It fucking hurts me.” He said and I touched his face lightly with the palm of my hand. He Lent into the touch and I pressed my lips against his softly.

“Then don’t do it. You know what these feelings are?” I asked and he shook his head no. “You like me. More than you think you probably should.” I said and he nodded in understanding. I knew he did. You could just tell by the way he acted with me.

“I do..” He said with a sad expression as he tilted his head down and I placed my finger under his chin, bringing him up to face me.

“It’s not a fucking bad thing.” I said with a sigh and he shrugged. He opened his mouth to say something but instead closed it and walked out of the room. I walked out of the room too and sighed as I walked up to Bill and Anna’s room. I heard muffled moans from the other side and groaned in annoyance.

“I wouldn’t go near there if I was you.” Gustav said with a soft chuckle as he leaned against his room door way. “They’ve been going at it all fucking morning.” He said and I laughed softly to myself.

“Yeah, Sounds like their having a bit of Hanky Panky.” I said and he chuckled softly as he nodded his head.

“Too much of it. You have no idea what it’s like sleeping next to the fuckers.” He said as he motioned for me to step inside his room. I followed him inside and took in his surroundings. It was much cleaner compared to the rest of the boys rooms. It was like heaven in here. Something I’d realised in the past few days was that Gustav was one of the nicest people in this house. He was the one I got along with the most and I could actually have a conversation with him.

“Do you know where Tom went?” I asked and Gustav nodded as he sat down on the love seat in his room and I followed sitting a little away from him.

“He’s down in the kitchen I think. He looked confused so I didn’t bother to ask.” He said with a shrug as he sat crossed legged so he was facing me.

“Oh..” I said and he looked at me quizzically, Telling me to continue. “We had a.. mini fight.” I said and he nodded his head understandingly.

“He’s told us all about the.. Not being able to hurt you and that he might like you a little bit..” He said and I sighed softly as I looked at him.

“He.. Told you all that stuff?” I asked and he nodded.

“We’ve all done it.. We all talk to each other when we think we’ve.. Fallen.. Tom was the only one not to ever.. Get attached to a girl and now I think he understands how we felt.” He said with a sigh and I looked at him curiously. Well, Where were all these girls that they fell for..? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the hookers they were with now. He seemed to see my confusion and read my mind of the question. “They.. Died.. In a riot of the sort.. A gang came after us, A big gang and.. We really weren’t ready for the ambush.. They were shot pretty much right then and there... She died.. In my arms...” He said as the tears welled up in his brown eyes. I gasped in shock at the news and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry Gusti.” I said as he sobbed into my hair.

“I shouldn’t cry, It shows weakness.” He said as he wiped away the stray tears and chuckled sadly.

“Don’t ever be afraid to cry on me. I’m always here for you.” I said with a half smile and he smiled softly again, Pulling me into another hug.

“Thank you Scar. Now, Go talk to Tom. You two need it.” He said and I nodded as I got up and made my way down the large stair case. Here we go..