Bitter Sweet Symphony

But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

~~~~ Three Days Later ~~~~

Well I had been able to avoid the guys and girls for the past two days fairly well. I just kept to my office cleaning up and getting myself organized to leave in 5 days. The guys had stayed an extra day for some relaxation before going on the long plane ride.

I kinda wished they hadn’t done that.

The only really good thing that came out of the extra day was I was able to avoid Brian. I think the girls…and Jimmy noticed something was up with me but they didn’t push it. That made me happy but today was going to suck monkey butt.

Today everyone was leaving and I had to say goodbye. I couldn’t just NOT show up to see everyone off just so I could avoid Brian. I couldn’t do that to everyone. I had to suck it up for an hour or two if that.

I was still lying in bed when my phone rang. The caller id said it was Jimmy. I couldn’t help but smile at Jimmy. He was such a sweetheart.

“Hey Jimmy what’s up?”

“Hey Alina sweetheart! You’re coming to see us off right!?”

“Of course I wouldn’t miss this for anything!”

You Lie

Shut up

“Okay! I haven’t seen you a lot these past few days and it’s been upsetting me. It’s made me sad. So very sad.”

“Aw Jimmy Bear don’t worry I’ll be today. I have to say bye to my Jimmy Bear. What time again?”

Jimmy laughed at me.

“And I thought I was bad at keeping time.”

“You hush what time?”

“1 p.m.”

I glanced over at my clock. It was 12p.m. already.

“Oh crap I gotta get ready then Jimmy Bear. I’ll see you soon”

“YAY!!!!”

I hung up just shaking my head at Jimmy. He was too much sometimes. But he could always put a smile on my face.

I lay in bed for a few more minutes before I dragged my butt out of bed and into the shower. I just stood there with the water falling all around me trying to get my emotions together so that I didn’t break down into a hot mess around everyone…around…Brian…

I shook my head and finished up with my shower. By the time I was out it was 12:30 and I needed to leave in a few minutes. I didn’t care what I looked like so I just threw on a pair of my destroyed Bermuda shorts and a baggy grey detailed shirt. I didn’t bother doing anything with my hair so I just placed my favorite hat on my head. It was plaid with pink trim. I grabbed my phone and wallet slipping them both into the back pockets of my shorts and grabbed my keys. I slipped my feet into my pink rose flip flops and grabbed my pink sunglasses on my way out the door.

I walked briskly through the streets of Berlin the short distance to the offices. I usually didn’t wear sunglasses but I know my eyes were red and puffy still from all the crying I had been doing the past few days. They weren’t going to be leaving my face while I said my goodbyes. That way if my eyes wanted to well up I could hide it easily behind them.

I arrived at my office just before noon. There was a note on my desk saying to go out back where their limos were that would take them to the airport. I made my way back there and walked out the back door to see everyone already there.

Jimmy saw me first and came running up to me.

“ALINA SWEETHEART!!!!”

“JIMMY BEAR!!!!”

Jimmy picked me up in a bear hug and swung me around. I couldn’t help but laugh. He swung me around so fast that my hat flew off and my still wet hair flew all about.

“Jimmy!”

Jimmy set me down and just smiled huge. I reached down and picked up my hat, brushed my hair back with my hand and placed my hat back on my head.

“Gee thanks Jimmy my hair was already messed up”

“I’m sorry Alina Sweetheart I’m just happy to see you one more time”

“Well I wasn’t gonna miss saying goodbye”

With that he gave me another hug and then Zacky walked up behind him.

“Come on Jimmy stop hogging Alina”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Zacky gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek.

“I’m gonna miss you. Gena and me are coming to visit you in New York sometime.”

Gena walked up and gave me a huge hug and whispered in my ear, “I know you’re still upset about whatever happened between you and Brian. And just so you know…he’s been really bummed the last few days. Whatever happened is getting to him too”

I couldn’t help but glance over at Brian. He wasn’t even facing me. He was messing with his phone.

I rolled my eyes and pulled back from Gena.

“Doesn’t look like it to me.”

Gena just rubbed my arm and went to give Andrea a hug. Matt came up and hugged me followed by Val and then Johnny and Leana. Suddenly the bands manager came out of the offices and said that it was time to leave for the airport.

Everyone gave me another hug and all of the guys kissed my cheek.

Well…everyone but Brian.

He lagged behind and finally looked up at me. My heart gave a jolt and I felt the tears well up. The way he was looking at me made my heart break all over again. I didn’t know what to do.

We stared at each other for what seemed like forever but probably wasn’t very long at all. I was just glad that my eyes were covered by my sunglasses so that he wouldn’t see the pain behind my eyes.

The pain that he had caused.

“Yo Brian we gotta go!”

Johnny was hanging half way out of the limo yelling at Brian. He looked at Johnny, then back at me.

“You better go Synyster Fucking Gates”

I couldn’t believe how I practicly spit that sentence out at him. I was that pissed at him for blaming me. I turned on my heel and started to walk back inside. Andrea just looked at me weird but didn’t say anything. She knew I had issues with Brian. If only she knew how much. I heard the limo door slam shut and it pulled away honking its horn.

I turned around right at the door to see the limo disappear around the corner.

I felt the tears welling up and I ran for my office and locked myself in it.

The tears fell again and I couldn’t control my sobbing.

I had no idea why I was so messed over this…but then…I realized one little fact…

I was a virgin until that night.

I freely gave him my virginity and he threw it back at me, blaming me…I gave it to him…and he took it freely…he had only treated me like a slut. Used me.

So I sat in my office and cried for I don’t know how long.

No one bothered me.

Not even Andrea.

No one.

I was all alone…

He had left me….

Brian left me…

I think a part of me was glad that he was gone and I prayed I wouldn’t see him ever again…

But somehow the voice at that back of my head knew better…

It’s not over yet hun…it’s not over by a long shot