Bitter Sweet Symphony

Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life

~~~~ Two Weeks Later ~~~~

“What the hell is with all these boxes!?”

I had just walked into my apartment after coming home from work and almost collided with a bunch of boxes.

Julianna came bounding out of her room and hopped around all of the boxes like a kid on Christmas Day.

“Who fed you sugar?”

“I did!”

“Oh God”

She just laughed and kept bouncing around.

“Can you answer my question?”

“Which issss?”

“Where the hell did all these boxes come from?”

“Oh! They’re all from Zacky, Gena, and Johnny!”

I looked at all of the boxes then back at Juls.

“Seriously?”

“Mhmmmmm. They wanted to do something for you since they wouldn’t be able to be here for your baby shower”

“Did they buy out the fucking baby store!?”

“Nope nope nope but they sure did buy some cute things!”

“Did you open them!?”

“Nope but they told me what they got because they double checked with me to make sure you would like it for the baby!”

“You’re just dying for me to open them aren’t you?”

“YES!!!!”

I chuckled at Julianna and tossed my purse onto the couch and sat down next to it. Julianna came running over to me with scissors that I gladly took. She was too hyper for her own good right now. I pulled the first box towards me and carefully opened it. My stomach had decided to grow massively in the last two weeks or so. It decided it just wasn’t big enough already!

“Julianna stop jumping around before I smack you and take away all forms of communication you have with Johnny”

Julianna immediately stopped jumping and stood perfectly still.

“Yeah I was that way around Brian and look where it got me” I said while pointing to my baby bump.

Julianna just rolled her eyes and plopped down on top of another box.

I opened my first box and looked inside.

“HOLY SHIT!!!!”

Inside was an entire bedding set for the crib my parents had just bought for me. The crib was a dark cherry wood and the bedding set was pink and brown polka dots. I looked at Julianna in shock. This was an awesome bedding set and I couldn’t believe it. There was so much to it.

“Like it?”

“What do you think?”

“I think you like it!”

“You would be correct”

“YAY!”

I just shook my head and continued on to another box, pushing the one out of my way. I opened it to find a crap load of baby toys, onesies, blankets, and other newborn clothing.

“Damn this kid is gonna be one fine dresser”

Julianna just laughed and pushed another box towards me. I could tell what this box was before I even opened it. It was the rocker I had fallen in love with when I went to Babies R Us one day. It was a dark cherry wood and the cushioning was light pink. Another box held the ottoman that matched. The fifth box held the changing table I had been admiring that was also a cherry wood finish and matched everything else I had. The sixth box held the little cute dresser I had been admiring too. The final and last box held a diaper bag and some more toys, eating utensils, bottles, bibs, little socks, and even little shoes.

Once I was done with looking through everything I called Gena and yelled at her for getting me so much crap. She just laughed and said that she was making up for what Matt, Val, Jimmy, and Leana would have bought. I was glad that she didn’t mention Brian. I think everyone knew not to mention him right now.

When I was done talking to Gena she put Zacky on and he went on and on and on about how it was torture being dragged into store after store after store with Gena for baby things. He also said that he was going to abstain from having sex for like ever. I just laughed at him and said un huh sure.

Once I was off the phone Julianna helped me pile everything into the corner. I wasn’t going to bother with putting things away right now. I was going to wait until after the baby was born to figure out where I was going to put all of this crap. My room wasn’t that big and neither was our apartment but we couldn’t really afford anyplace bigger. Well I mean we could but I was saving a lot of the extra money from my paycheck for when the baby was born and I was going to be buying diapers and new clothes and all sorts of stuff.

The next day the crib and travel set my parents had bought me arrived. I was so excited about the stroller that I made Julianna open it and help me figure it out so that i would see it. It was pink and brown/grey. It came with a car seat that would connect to the stroller for when the baby was little and then you could just use the stroller once she was bigger. I was falling in love with all of my stuff. But the worry of whom she would look like and what I was going to name her was starting to get to me.

~~~~ One and a Half Months Later ~~~~

Well today was my baby shower and I was 7 months along. I had two more months to go and I was still battling with a name. Julianna, Zacky, Gena, and Johnny all wanted me to give the baby Brian’s last name, Haner. But my parents and everyone else who DIDN’T know were telling me to just give the baby my name since the father wasn’t really in the picture.

I for one had NO idea what to do. Also Zacky was coming up with crazy ass name options for me and I just told Gena I felt sorry for her whenever they had a kid. She just shook her head and said that the naming would be up to her. To that I laughed. I was dressed in a simple black tub top style dress for the party. It was simple and comfy enough for me to wear all day long. The shower was being held at the community house where my parents lived just over the border in New Jersey. I was excited to see all of my friends. Although everyone kept badgering me about who the father was and that they couldn’t believe I was pregnant out of wedlock. I just forced a smile and tried to ignore their comments. Especially when they joked about it being some rock star I met threw work.

If only they knew.

~~~~ Hours Later ~~~~

I was sitting in my chair at the community house just thinking to myself. I had gotten a lot of clothes. From new born to one year. I also got a lot of baby lotions, pacifiers, toys, play things, bath stuff, bottles, wipes, diapers, and all that jazz. No one had to buy me any big ticket items so they all splurged on the cute littler items.

The only big items I got was a high chair from Roger and everyone else at work and the pink and brown play pen that Caleb and Julianna bought me.

I had another surprise present from Zacky, Gena, and Johnny. They had bought me a few dresses for the baby to wear. One of them being this gorgeous gold and white Christmas dress for her first Christmas. It was gorgeous. There was also a few summer dresses, because she was due end of May, beg. of June when it would just be getting warmer out.

But the biggest surprise was that in with the Christmas dress Zacky had put a note. He said that Brian was being a pain and was hurting over what to do about me that he ended up tagging along with Zacky when Gena sent him to pick out a Christmas dress and maybe a summer dress or two. Of course Zacky lied and said that it was for Gena’s cousin or something that was having a baby. Brian accepted that and tolerated all of the infant clothing except when it came to the Christmas dress. He had spotted it on clearance from the old Christmas outfits and picked it out. It was the last dress left and the perfect size for the baby. He had brought it to Zacky, because he said to look for any Christmas type dresses. He said that Brian had said it had caught his eye and he liked it. He thought it was simple yet elegant.

Zacky had apparently then asked Brian if he ever thought about having kids and he had said one day. He also said that Brian had said how he wouldn’t mind a girl, because he could spoil her rotten and buy her all of these cute clothes.

At the end of the letter Zacky practically begged me to tell Brian, but something still told me no. They would just have to accept that.

~~~~ One Month Later ~~~~

“We are not and I repeat NOT moving!”

I was currently having a screaming match with Julianna and Johnny. Johnny had apparently been apartment shopping online with Julianna and Gena. They were hunting for a three bedroom apartment so that all of the babies stuff would fit. They had kept this a secret from me and I wasn’t happy about it one bit. I seriously wasn’t.

“Come on Alina Johnny’s paying for the first couple months’ rent AND the down payment. He wants us in a little bit of a safer neighborhood. And he wants lil baby Syn to be safer.”

I growled at the mention of the baby’s father.

“No”

“Come on Alina. You don’t have enough room here for a baby. You need someplace bigger and I want to help you guys out.”

“Ugh!”

“Alina you don’t have a choice. The place is already rented and we can save up to buy another place. You have enough baby clothes to last this baby for a while. We’ll be okay.”

I just threw my hands up in the air.

“I’m not going to win this am I?”

Both Johnny and Julianna smiled.

“Nope”

“Ugh fine!”

I just walked into my room and laid down while Julianna and Johnny started to pack up stuff. We moved that very weekend into our new apartment just outside of central Manhattan where all of the shops and high end places were. Not to mention closer to both of our jobs. I had to admit it was a nice step up from what we had. You walked in and there was a nice spacious living area, a small dining room area that we would most likely be using once the baby came, and a decent sized kitchen. There was still a bar counter which I was happy about. I didn’t want to waste those stools we had bought. My room was off to the side and it had its own bathroom. Julianna gave me that room so that way I could have some alone time and I could keep all of the baby’s bath stuff in there. Next to my room was the babies room of course and without my knowledge Johnny had already been in there and painted the entire room pink and brown to match all of her things. I couldn’t help but hug him at this point. Next to that room was the bathroom and Julianna’s room was just down the hall a little and right across from the washer and dryer.

Johnny stayed with us for that first week helping Julianna and me unpack everything. Although he spent more time helping me, because I was too big to really do anything by myself. The first thing he set up was my rocking chair and the ottoman so that I could tell him where to put it and that was where I sat rubbing my belly and reading the instructions for all the other baby things so that he could put them all together. The following weekend Zacky and Gena came to help with any last minute things and took Julianna to go get a low price simple dining set for our small dining room. I stayed where I was with Johnny and he re-arrange and re-arranged the baby’s room because I just couldn’t make up my mind.

I finally settled on the dresser being right when you walk in off to the right. Beyond that would be the rocker and ottoman right next to the window so that I could look at the moon late at night. Across from the chair was her crib all set up and waiting for her. Next to that was her changing table all stacked up with diapers that Johnny put out for me. I had to give Julianna props for picking him. He was a keeper…unlike Brian. But I couldn’t think about Brian too much because I would just start crying and I didn’t need to get upset so close to having her. It wasn’t good for me or the baby. Her closet was stuffed full of clothes and I must say this. She was going to be the best dressed baby ever.

Johnny and I were hanging out in the baby’s room when everyone got back with the dining set. Gena fell in love with the room and Zacky said he was going to abstain from sex again. We all just laughed it off because we knew it wasn’t going to be true.

~~~~ Three Weeks Later ~~~~

I was waddling around our new apartment talking on the phone with my boss, Roger. He was asking me where something was in my office so that I didn’t have to go down there and find it for him. When I was done I walked into my baby’s room and just stood there until I noticed something hanging over her crib. I hadn’t noticed that before. I don’t even know where it came from. But it was a photo of Brian and me when we were dancing at the party. We were actually looking at each other and I think we actually looked happy. I tried to fight back the tears but that didn’t last long before I felt something pop and suddenly I was standing in a puddle of water.

SHIT!