Bitter Sweet Symphony

You know I can change, I can change,
I can change, I can change

~~~~ The Next Day ~~~~

The next day I took off from work so that I could talk to Brianna. I needed to tell her some things.

“Brianna hunny can you come here please”

Brianna came shuffling into my room in her avenged sevenfold pajama that Johnny had gotten her for her last birthday when she turned 5.

“Mommy”

“Come here baby I need to tell you something about your daddy”

Brianna rushed over to me and climbed up onto my bed.

She really loved hearing about her Brian.

I pulled her onto my lap and took a deep breath.

“Well you know your daddy, Brian”

“Who I’m named after”

“That’s right baby. Well your daddy and me…we haven’t seen each other since before you were born. We…we didn’t really get along and we went our separate ways. After that I found out that I was going to be having you. But I did a not so nice thing.”

Brianna just looked at me with those eyes.

“What is it mommy?”

“I didn’t tell your daddy about you.”

“Why?”

“Because I was scared baby. Your daddy and I didn’t leave on the best of terms. But I promise you Brianna that you are going to meet your daddy one day. I promise you.”

“Mommy don’t cry”

Brianna reached out a hand and wiped away the tears on my face that I hadn’t even known I was crying.

“Oh thank you Brianna baby.”

“Don’t be sad. Uncie V says daddy’s different now. He says that daddy misses you and wants to see you but he’s too afraid. I for one think that daddy needs to come see you. And he can see me too!”

I couldn’t help but smile at my daughter’s innocence. I simply kissed the top of her head.

“I’m going to tell you something Bree honey. When you do meet daddy he will probably be in shock, because he doesn’t know about you.”

“But I get to meet to him!”

“One day honey but be patient. This is hard on mommy”

“Okay mommy”

Brianna gave me another hug and I hugged right back.

She was my little angel.

~~~~ 10 Months Later ~~~~

I was standing there staring at Roger.

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!”

“I’m sorry Alina but I can’t say no”

“I sure as hell can!”

“Alina calm down! I need you to do this”

“I can’t I have a vacation planned with Julianna and my daughter. I haven’t had a break since before my daughter was born!”

“I know but I can’t say no to this band. If I don’t tell them that you will be here then it’s all over for me.”

“Spoiled ass rock stars”

“Alina”

“I’m sorry but this is bullshit Roger. I booked this almost a year in advance and NOW you’re telling me that I can’t go! The whole point of booking it so early was so that I could go!”

“I know Alina. I know what I promised you but they won’t have anyone else.”

“This isn’t fair!”

“I’m sorry Alina”

“You soooo owe me Roger!”

And with that I stormed out of Roger’s office slamming the door shut behind me.

“ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

I was going to kill Roger AND the band for ruining my vacation. God knows I’ve needed it lately. It seems that everyone and I mean EVERYONE has been on me about telling Brian and I just needed a break for a while and enjoy the one country where I’ve always wanted to go. I just needed some time with my daughter away from everything and everyone where I can focus on her. I’ve been working so much over the year to provide for her and make sure she has everything she needs.

I needed this break to be alone with her.

~~~~ Two Weeks Later ~~~~

“Brianna hunny you need to let me go I have to get to work”

“No mommy you promised a vacation I want a vacation!”

I reached down and pulled my daughter up into my arms.

“Look I know hunny and I’m really sorry but I can’t turn this down. Roger has offered me a raise and we can go on vacation right after their gone in two weeks.”

Brianna buried her face in my neck.

“It’s not fair mommy!”

“I know hunny but I really need to go”

“Nooooo!”

I looked over at Julianna for help but she just held up her arms. I rolled my eyes at her and put Brianna down but she stayed attached to my neck.

“Brianna hunny you need to let go now.”

“NO! YOU’RE STAYING HERE MOMMY!”

“Come here Brianna. Maybe we can call Uncie V and Auntie G”

“No I want mommy”

I kneeled down in front of Brianna and hugged her. I looked up at Juls.

“What am I gonna do? She wants me to stay home”

“If you don’t go shit will hit the fan with Roger…and the band”

I looked at Julianna curiously. She just walked forward and came up to Brianna prying her away from me.

“Come on Bree baby it’s time to get ready for bed.”

“NO!”

Brianna turned back to me while Juls tried to pick her up. But Brianna was getting big and Julianna isn’t the biggest person alive.

I walked over to Brianna and picked her up and carried her into her room.

“How about I help you get ready for bed”

“No I want you to stay mommy!”

“Brianna Rose”

Brianna folded her arms over her chest.

“Fine”

I silently smiles and set her down on her bed while I began rummaging around in her dresser for her pj’s.

“Do you want tiger, eeyore, Disney princesses, or…”

“Avenge Sevenfo!”

I giggled at how my daughter tried so hard to say the band’s name. She was getting better at it. I pulled out the pajama’s and held them out for her to get changed into. She hopped off her bed, grabbed her pj’s, and got changed. I couldn’t help but smile at the baggy death bat t-shirt and death bat logo shorts.

She loved those pajama’s. I glanced at the clock and looked out at Julianna who was standing by the door with my purse. We nodded at each other and I turned and ran for the door while Brianna was in the middle of pulling her shirt on. When she had it on and saw me leaving she ran out after me but Julianna grabbed her while I slipped out of the apartment.

I hated leaving her but I didn’t have a choice.

And it sucked so bad.

~~~~ Madison Square Garden ~~~~

I rushed into my office and kicked off my flip flops and slipped into my heels. I changed out of my plain shirt and into my “concert” t-shirt. I could hear Roger yelling at me but I couldn’t think straight at the moment. I grabbed my pass and headed for the loading dock underneath the Garden.

Roger was there waiting for me.

“Well it’s about time!”

“You called me last minute remember!?!? I’m allowed to be a little late. Besides my daughter didn’t want me to leave. I had to sneak out in order to get here when I did. Do you know how hard it is to get something past a 5 year old?”

“No I don’t I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, honestly”

“Good, because I know I can be a jerk sometimes but it’s a lot of pressure running this place sometimes.”

“I know but I’m here now”

“Thank God for that. This band wanted you specifically and they would of canceled if you weren’t doing it. And God knows we need this band. They’re huge! And they bring in a lot of money to keep this place running”

“I know but will you tell me the band please!”

“They said it was a surprise.”

I rolled my eyes. Just Great

With that a bus pulled into the loading dock where Roger and I stood. The big black bus pulled to a stop and no sooner had it pulled to a stop and parked did a familiar figure come running off and up to me giving me a monster bear hug.

“IT’S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU ALINA!!!! IT’S BEEN SO LONG!!!!”

“…Hi Val…”

“Val let her breathe!”

Val let me go and walked back over to her husband and lead singer for Avenged Sevenfold, Matt or rather M Shadows. Matt waved at me and started over to give me a hug. Over his shoulder I saw Zack or Zacky Venegence come off the bus followed closely by his long-time girlfriend Gena. Johnny wasn’t far behind and neither were Jimmy and his girlfriend, Leanna. Or rather Johnny Christ and The Rev. Jimmy ran past everyone else to grab me up into a bear hug worse than Val’s.

“Let HER breathe Rev man!”

Jimmy let me down and grinned like mad.

“Thanks Zacky man”

“Anytime”

I couldn’t believe this. This was all too much. And it just got worse.

For the last member of the band finally stepped off the bus and looked over at me. My heart sank immediately. For it was non other than Brian Haner Jr.

THE Synyster Fucking Gates.

Brianna’s father.

“Oh shit”