Bitter Sweet Symphony

I can’t change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

~~~~

Oh my God

Oh my God

Oh my God

OH MY FUCKING SYN GOD

I couldn’t believe what was happening right now.

We were kissing…I mean kissing kissing.

Our lips were moving in perfect harmony together. I don’t know how long we were kissing for…but it wasn’t long enough to me.

Far too soon for my liking did Brian pull away. We looked into each other eyes for I don’t know how long before Brian seemed to realize what he was doing.

For all of a sudden he stepped back from me, his hand falling from the back of my neck. He looked at me with a look of pure shock on his face. The same hand that was pressed into my neck was covering his open mouth. I didn’t know what to do has he continued to walk backwards away from me.

“Brian…”

At the sound of his name being whispered from my lips he turned and ran away. I don’t know how long I stood there with my hand stretched out after him before I slid down the balcony’s railing and onto the balcony. I couldn’t help has the tears flew from my eyes. I didn’t even feel them falling. I just lookedat the empty space where Brian had been standing. My hand was gripping a bar of the railing so tightly I was going white knuckled.

Why did he just walk away like that?

What did I do wrong?

“Oh my God Alina!”

I looked up through my tears to see Gena, Val, and Leana rushing out onto the balcony to me. Val pulled out a tissue from her clutch and started to wipe the tears that were falling from my face. Gena and Leana were both crounched on the ground next to me rubbing my arms and back.

“Shhhhh it’s okay Alina”

“What happened?”

I took a shaky breath.

“He…he kissed me…and left”

“What! Who?”

I looked up at the girls all crowded around me.

“Br…Brian”

All three girls gasped and looked back into the room to see if they could see him. When they realized he wasn’t there all of them looked back at me. I started to stand up. Gena helping me get back on my feet while Leana and Val fixed my makeup and made sure I still looked gorgeous.

I waved them away once they were done.

“I’m okay. I don’t know why I was crying…I need a drink”

And with that I walked away back into the party and towards the bar where I proceded to drink away what had just happened.

I couldn’t believe what had just happened.

I was vaguely aware of Gena coming and sitting down next to me.

I didn’t turn to her until I felt her place a hand on my arm.

“Alina?”

“What?”

“Tell me what happened”

“I did”

Gena just looked at me. I sighed.

“I came out onto the balcony to get some air and he was there and he came over to me and asked if I was okay and I snapped at him on accident and he went to walk away but I grabbed for him and almost fell, he caught me and he said something and I went to smack him but I missed his arm and hit his chest and….umm…..i started to lean into him and then he grabbed my neck and pulled me to him and kissed me. I don’t know how long we were kissing before he pulled away from me. He was just looking at me in shock. Like I was the one who kissed him…I mean I did but he kissed me first. I only returned the kiss. And he just turned away and ran…I don’t even know why…”

Gena rubbed my arm.

“He was probably surprised he did that. Or that you were kissing him back. I think he was just overwhelmed and he’s a guy. Their instinct is to run.”

I sighed heavily.

“I don’t know. He just…looked so upset…I don’t know what happened…”

“Maybe you should talk to him.”

“I don’t know…I’m too drunk to consider it right now.”

“Okay”

“But I think I wanna go back to the hotel though”

“Okay I’ll get one of them to go back with you”

“Thanks Gena”

It wasn’t long before both Jimmy and Johnny showed up to walk me back to the hotel. I was staying in Jimmy and Leana’s room so that I wasn’t trying to walk back to my loft drunk. They guys didn’t leave me until I was back in their room and made sure I was okay. I walked into the bathroom once they were gone to relieve myself. After that I splashed some water on my face and took the clip out of my hair. I pulled my heels off and tossed them by where all of my stuff was. I went to pull out my pajamas when I couldn’t stand it anymore. I needed to find out something.

I needed to know why.

I grabbed my card key for Jimmy and Leana’s room and stormed across the hall to their room still in my dress and my hair still done all up.

I knocked on the door…okay more like banged on the door. Leave me alone I’m drunk!

It wasn’t long before Brian opened the door. His suit jacket and tie were gone. His shirt sleeves were pushed up and the top few buttons were undone. He was also barefoot. He stared at me in shock.

“Alina…”

“Don’t Alina me Synyster!”

I pushed past Brian into his room. I saw a bunch of empty alcohol bottles scattered all over the bar in the suite room he shared with Johnny. I heard Brian close the door and start to walk toward me. I spun around on him and before I knew it I was starting to yell…okay scream at him.

“What the HELL is wrong with you!”

He just looked at me with almost a sad look on his face.

“God damnit answer me! You can’t just kiss someone and then leave like that! I was stupid enough to actually cry over it! You don’t just do that! You really are an asswhole who thinks he can get away with everything! You think just because you’re a rockstar you can use girls! Girls like me who might actually just maybe give a damn about who they kiss!”

Brian looked down at his feet and then back up at me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…I just…I freaked out okay”

I just folded my arms over my chest.

“Likely”

“God Alina I’m sorry okay”

“Prove it”

Brian took a step back almost has if I has slapped him.

“H…how?”

“Figure it out yourself Syn”

I hissed that out at him and pushed past him to go back to Jimmy and Leana’s room when I felt a pair of strong hands grab me and spin me around.

Before I knew it Brian’s lips were crushing against mine in a passionate kiss that almost made me sink to my knees.

But I just had a feeling has his arm snaked around my back that this…

It’s not going to end here…