You Get The Cake, I'll Start The Car

So you probably think it’s weird, but I’m pretty sure that Jimmy and I were separated at birth. I had known the man all of fifteen minutes and already he was running around the mall with me on his back singing about drunken pirates. Shannon was skipping alongside us clapping her hands to our song while Violet just blushed and followed along, her face buried in her hands. I’m surprised she was embarrassed at this point. She had definitely known me long enough… seriously since my birth. Our parents couldn’t find a baby sitter. I’m guessing it had to do with the major hard on she had for Jimmy. I mean sure, he was one of the cutest things alive, but he’s just not my type and I wouldn’t do that to my big sister.
“Jimmy! Go faster! My tummy wants my Peta burger!” I yelled slapping his ass, causing him to yelp and run faster.
“Ahhh! Help! I’m being abused by my evil midget master!” He yelled dodging people on our way to Daphne’s.
“Muahahaha! Yes! I command the faster my evil string bean minion!” I laughed evilly, pointing my arm forward.
“YES, A new member in the league of Ellie’s minions!” Shannon yelled, fist bumping and chasing after us.
“I’m not bailing you out!” Violet laughed at us, “And I refuse to run in these shoes!”
“Whatever, I want my Greek nummies!” I laughed as we finally reached the restaurant. Jimmy set me down gently, having to essentially squat all the way down in order to not drop me. Shannon was already at the counter, ordering hers to-go so she could get back to the afternoon shift with Kade, the coolest gay guy around. I ran up behind her and squeezed her butt before wrapping my arms around her to cup her breasts. Used to it, she ignored me and continued ordering her food, even though the pubescent boy behind the counter was drooling at her.
“You really shouldn’t do that in public,” a man who looked like Lacoste threw up on him gruffed, “Save that for the bedroom.”
“Hey Mister, She’s my sister,” I smirked, humping my little sis from behind. What? Rent is perfectly quotable in this situation.
Shannon rolled her eyes and moved away from me to wait for her food.
I skipped up to the counter and ordered my food. The kid was obviously trying to flirt with me, repeating my order at least three times before he put it in. I mean a grilled chicken Peta burger with feta cheese and no tomatoes is not all that complex. Then he went on and on about whether or not I wanted extra sauce or a Tabouli salad instead of fries, when I had already said I wanted rice Pilaf and a Greek salad. Then it took him extra time to substitute apple juice and add baklava. I was very close to punching this kid by the time I had finally paid.
“UGH!” groaned walking over to Violet and Jimmy who had been smart enough to go to a different cashier, “’Cause driving me insane is really gonna get me to give you my number. I abhor stupid people.”
Violet laughed at me as hers and Jimmy’s food came. I punched her arm and growled, “Shut up and go make out with Jimmy ho-Billy.”
“YES!” Jimmy yelled, fist bumping the air as they walked over to a table. Violet blushed and buried face in her hands again. I just chuckled and grabbed my food when it finally came up.
“OPA!” I yelled really loud before digging in.
“OPA!” Jimmy yelled with his mouth full. Violet and I both giggled.
“So are you two gonna bone or what?” I asked, just to get a rise outta my sister.
“ELLA!” Violet yelled, I just giggled and Jimmy looked back and forth between us, looking a little confused.
“What?” I asked innocently, “You know you want to.”
“Jimmy votes yes!” He cheered. I high-fived him and Violet buried her face in her arms against the table. Jimmy rubbed his hand against her back in a soothing motion and I was going to say something else when I felt a vibrating against my ass.
“Bo journo mon ami?” I said as I answered the phone. I always answer the phone in a different language if I don’t know whose calling. It’s a good habit to keep when your sister once gave your phone out as a phone sex line and gives it to every guy we meet in bars.
“Ciao amore mia,” came the voice of my best friend/boss Alec, “Come stai oggi?”
“Ow brain twitching,” I replied, “No habla italiano dip shit.”
“Ti gínetai me ta Elli̱niká?” he changed languages on me.
“Now I’m really confused asshole,” I grumbled, “Speak English and tell me why the hell you’re calling.”
“Johnny Christ fine,” he grumbled, back to his English with a thick British accent, “We have a few VIP’s coming in tonight and we need you in early.”
“How early?” I growled. I loved the man, but jeeze, I was at lunch with Jimmy and torturing my sister, and now he was killing my buzz.
“ASAP, I’ll pay you overtime and let you set the bar on fire,” he bribed sweetly.
I grumbled, “Yeah yeah yeah, see you in an hour.”