Adolescent

My thoughts crumbled through my mind, over and over again. It was difficult to think that my biological father asked questions about me. He honestly wanted to know where I was? It was breathtaking, but in all honesty, why would he care now? Maybe he didn’t know.

No, that was impossible. He had to have known his baby girl was given up for adoption. Maybe he was in on it, or coaxed my mother into passing me on to another set of hands that could handle me. Was he not ready for a baby? Was he seriously into drugs and alcohol? Was he a pedophile?

I shook that last thought right out of my head. That would be weird. I swung back and forth in the local park, sometimes allowing my feet to dig into the sand beneath me. I had called Devin and asked him to meet me here, but as of right now, I wasn’t having much luck. Was he mad at me?

Headlights appeared at the end of the street, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up. The last hundred cars that happened to pass weren’t his civic. I could always tell when it was him, regardless of how quiet or noisy any car was. He just drove a certain way. Was that a weird way to explain it?

The car slightly slowed and came to a halt right before the park area. A smile happened to appear on my lips and I watched the driver’s door move open. I slowed my swinging, but continued moving back and forth. Devin emerged from the car, something dangling in his left hand.

He made his way through the uneven brown sand and stood next to me. I looked up at him and chuckled softly. He was so sweet sometimes. He pushed a sweatshirt in my direction and gave me a warm smile. He spoke softly, “It’s cold, Hillari. I brought you a sweetshirt, just in case.”

“Thankyou.”I pulled it over my light grey cover and shoved my feet in the sand.

Devin walked behind me and gently pressed his hands to my hips.

“So, what’s going on?”He pushed me softly, sending me in the air.

“A lot, Dev. A lot.”The cool wind brushed my hair back with every push.

“Care to elaborate?”His pushes were soft and harmless, never hard to my skin.

“In all honesty, I don’t know where to start.”A soft sigh escaped my lips as I began to float higher.

“Wherever you’re most comfortable, is all.”He was always so kind.

“My dad wants to know my whereabouts.”I said calmly.

“Your dad?”He asked.”Like, your biological father?”

“Exactly.”I mumbled softly.

Silence filled the cool air as he continued to push me back and forth on the swing. I didn’t know how to explain this to him, it was difficult to tell myself it was real, besides him aswell.

“You should do it.”His warm hands left my hips and I slowly began to stop.

“Do what?”I pressed my feet into the sand and looked back at him.

“They can’t disclose any information on you unless your parents say so, right?”He asked.

He sat next to me and watched me carefully. He was right; they left it up to me to tell him my whereabouts or phone number. Whatever the places did with our things when we were gone.

“Right,”I was careful in speaking; I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“So, tell your parents to okay it.”He smiled warmly.”You wouldn’t want to speak to your real father? Ask him questions and maybe set a lunch date? That sounds nice, right?”

“It does, but,”I began softly.”but what if he just wants something from me? Or just wants to see how I turned out?”

“Hillari, do you really think he would do that?”He was mostly right, but I had my concerns; could you blame me?

“Maybe. You never know nowadays.”I chuckled softly.

“I’m telling you, Hillari. Do it. I think you’ll be happy with what you find. Hell, maybe he’s a rich rockstar.”He chuckled.

“Yeah, that would definatley be the case.”I laughed.

He smiled warmly and looked carefully around the park. He stood from his swing and grabbed me by the hand.

“Come here for a sec.”I followed his lead and climbed up the small steps to the slide.

He lied down at the top of the slide and once realizing he wouldn’t slide, waved me over. I stepped over to him and crouched, looking up with him.

“You ever sit and look at the stares, Hillari?”All of the time.

“All of the time, Dev.”I whispered.

I squeezed in between him and the slide. His arms gently and harmlessly wrapped around my chest, pulling me loosely into his chest. A smile came to my lips as I looked up, finding stars beyond stars glowing down on us.

“It’s beautiful, right?”He asked.

“It really is, Devin.”I whispered softly.

I looked over at him, looking from his eyes to his full, thick lips. He had always been my best friend. He was there for the good and the bad, regardless if he were to get in trouble or be hurt. He was there.

“Devin,”I said softly.

“Hmm?”He looked over and his ocean blue eyes smiled.

“Thankyou.”I whispered.”You’re my best friend, and I love you. You’ve been there for me for a long time and I need to repay you for that.”

“Repay?”He chuckled softly.

“You’ve never left me behind. You made sure I was okay. Hell, you held my hair for me when I got sick.”I smirked.

“Yeah, that was a fun night.”He replied sarcastically.

I looked back up, letting a yawn slip from my mouth.

“You really think I should let him get in touch with me?”I asked.

It made me slightly nervous and mad at the same time. I didn’t know what to expect. Yet deep down inside I was jumping with joy, knowing that part of my real blood wants to speak to me, regardless of the situation.

“I do.”He replied.”I think you would be proud of yourself for letting go this one time. You probably wont get this chance again in your lifetime.”

“Your right. Thankyou.”I looked over at him and sighed softly.

“No problem.”He whispered.

I looked from the stars to him again and slowly, he pushed his lips forward. The connection sent a thrill of chills down my spine, forcing those nervous goosebumps to form on my skin. I kissed back softly, enjoying the gentleness he put into the kiss. For as big of a guy he was, he knew how gentle he had to be.

His hand cupped the side of my face and I pulled him tightly into my chest. My hand wravled itself into his hair and I pulled away. My eyes fluttered open and I hugged him tightly. He was the best comfort I had after my parents; but he had a sweetness to him. He was the candy I happened to be addicted to at the moment.

“You’re such a beautiful girl and I would never want to see you get hurt, Hillari.”He said quietly.”Do yourself a favor and tell your parents to okay it.”

“Will you come with me,”I started.”if he wants to meet me?”

“I want you to meet him first, then I’ll come into the picture. You have to do it on your own first, okay?”He asked.

“Thankyou, Devin.”I whispered kindly.

“I think you should get home now.”He said.”Your parents are probably getting a little worried.”

“Only if you drive me.”I chuckled.

“You got it, sweetheart.”He sat up and pulled my slim frame with him.

“On three,”I grinned.

I pushed him down the slide and chuckled softly to myself. He landed with a quiet thud on the ground and he turned toward me.

“Get your ass down here.”He glared harmlessly.

“I’m workin’ on it buff man.”I grinned.

He climbed partially up the slide, grabbing my ankle and pulling me down with him. He fell back into the sand and I slid off the slide and to his side. I laughed loudly and the park shook with laughter. He stood from the sand and grabbed my small hands. He pulled me to my feet and chuckled quietly.

I began walking to his car and looked back at him playfully. I cried loudly as he rushed forward, wrapping me in an iron tight hug and pulling me from the ground. He carried me playfully to the car and gently set me down by the door. He opened the passenger door and smiled warmly.

I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck, pulling him into a sweet, sensational kiss. It didn’t have to be very passionate and steamy to mean something to me. His arms snaked around my waist and he gently pulled from the kiss. He pecked my lips softly and pressed his forehead to mine.

“Your beautiful, Hillari.”He whispered.

I smiled, almost embarrassed by his comment, and laughed quietly. I had no words for him at the moment. I wanted to go home and curl up into bed with him. I wanted to turn on a movie and fall asleep, knowing I’d wake up with him next to me, kissing my forehead and telling me I’m beautiful.

“Let’s get going before your parents are scared.”He stepped aside and shut my door for me once I got in.

The drive home was silent, but in a good way. His warm hand clasped softly in my own, not separating for a moment. As we pulled up to my house I gave him one last goodbye kiss.

“Thankyou again, Devin.”I whispered softly.”If it weren’t for you I’d probably be crazy by now.”

“Now that is an understatement.”He laughed.

“You’re hilarious.”I smiled.”Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Hillari. I’ll see you tomorrow.”I stepped out of the car and walked up to my front door.

I turned one last time, finding Devin watching me, his eyes kind and wanting. I waved as he pressed his hand to his lips, blowing a kiss in my direction. I opened the front door and found my parents still up, sitting at the kitchen table. My mom turned and stood, hugging me tightly.

“I have something I want to tell you guys.”I said quietly.

“Go ahead, sug.”My dad smiled.

I took in a deep breath and opened and closed my fists. It was now or never and never was going to be very soon. With a nervous smile I rocked back and forth on my feet for a second. Their eyes didn’t leave me for a moment.

“Grant him my information.”I said.”It’s okay.”

“You got it, sweetheart.”My mom smiled.

She pulled me into another hug and refused to let go.

“I love you, Hillari.”She whispered quietly.

“I love you too, mom.”She kissed my cheek and I stepped over to my dad.”Goodnight, daddy.”

I hugged him tightly, kissing him goodnight before I left for my room. I curled up into my bed, refusing to change into my pajamas. I hugged a pillow tightly to my chest and amazingly, fell asleep with a genuine smile on my lips.