For A While
Hands
The worst was when I came down. A million sledgehammers would knock on my back, pushing the last of my ramblings past my lips. The cold sweat coating my skin would become all too apparent and I'd try to pull it off just to get rid of it. The drug was still lodged in my nose somewhere, I knew, and I'd keep sniffing in desperation to find it, to rid myself of this lead beginning to fill my head, killing the warmth and euphoria that was swimming there just one moment ago. But I'd never find it and the lead in my brain would solidify in the deep maze that marred it until I'd need more more more of that substance in my body.
This feeling followed me, or something like it anyway. This withdraw that made my skin crawl and my teeth crush together. I'd dig my nails into my skin to keep my hands from doing things they shouldn't. These hands got me into so much trouble.
I soon became aware that some one was gripping my shoulders, pulling, and my eyes soon met with Charlotte's, which were previously set on a book. “You okay?”
“Yes.”
“What'cha thinking abut?”
“How much I love you,” I give her a smile to feed her happiness.
“Oh really?” She raises an eyebrow and bites her bottom lip.
I drape my body over hers, leaning in to meet her middle. I channel all of the need I feel and bend at my elbows to kiss her.
“What does that prove?” She's coy, the wall that I was sure was impermeable falls and now it feels okay to need her again.
I dip my head down again to connect my lips to her neck, feeling the pulse beneath my tongue. I could live here forever, I should die here. When I can, I move my lips to hover beside her ear and say, “ I love you.” Charlotte exhales.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.” She giggles and the thin sheath of tension cracks. She runs her forefinger lightly along my jaw and stops to grab the collar of my shirt in her fist, pulling me back to meet her face. All of my love for her.
“I love you, Alice,” she finally says when my lips press against the soft flesh of her inner thigh.
The next morning, when I open my eyes, she's already gone to work. The room is empty and smells of her perfume. I roll over to her side of the bed and press my face into the pillow, dampening the case with tears that are now falling. A great fear rises in me that she won't come back this time, like last time when she left. It's so easy for her. She will never love me as much as I love her.
If you love some one, set them free.
A simple impossibility.
This feeling followed me, or something like it anyway. This withdraw that made my skin crawl and my teeth crush together. I'd dig my nails into my skin to keep my hands from doing things they shouldn't. These hands got me into so much trouble.
I soon became aware that some one was gripping my shoulders, pulling, and my eyes soon met with Charlotte's, which were previously set on a book. “You okay?”
“Yes.”
“What'cha thinking abut?”
“How much I love you,” I give her a smile to feed her happiness.
“Oh really?” She raises an eyebrow and bites her bottom lip.
I drape my body over hers, leaning in to meet her middle. I channel all of the need I feel and bend at my elbows to kiss her.
“What does that prove?” She's coy, the wall that I was sure was impermeable falls and now it feels okay to need her again.
I dip my head down again to connect my lips to her neck, feeling the pulse beneath my tongue. I could live here forever, I should die here. When I can, I move my lips to hover beside her ear and say, “ I love you.” Charlotte exhales.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.” She giggles and the thin sheath of tension cracks. She runs her forefinger lightly along my jaw and stops to grab the collar of my shirt in her fist, pulling me back to meet her face. All of my love for her.
“I love you, Alice,” she finally says when my lips press against the soft flesh of her inner thigh.
The next morning, when I open my eyes, she's already gone to work. The room is empty and smells of her perfume. I roll over to her side of the bed and press my face into the pillow, dampening the case with tears that are now falling. A great fear rises in me that she won't come back this time, like last time when she left. It's so easy for her. She will never love me as much as I love her.
If you love some one, set them free.
A simple impossibility.