Women of Anarchy: Never Look Back

Jax dropped me off at home hugging me and saying he would see me in a couple hours at Gemma's. I saw mom was home and walked inside. "Hey mom" I kissed her cheek. "Hey honey. What did you and Jax do?" she asked as she stirred something in the boiling pan. "He took me to see Abel". "He sure is a cutie aint he?" she asked turning around to look at me with a smile on her face. "Looks just like his daddy. Jax can never deny that baby."I chuckled "I saw where Tara was back in town" I pulled off my jacket while saying. "Oh yeah I swear I dont get that girl. What did she do?" mom looked frustrated now. I shrugged "not much except said I had no wright in Abels room since I wasnt family Jax told her I was good as family. I didnt want fighting around Abel so I decided to be the bigger person and covinced Jax to leave but not without making sure Tara knows Ill be back to see Abel". "Well I think she believes Jax will be wanting her back again. I mean she left the first time then came back for a few month and left again now she is back and taking care of Abel I hope Jax finally sees she is not right for him let alone the club" I nodded at her words agreeing 100%. I helped her cook up a few things and started on the seven layer dip before going upstairs to shower. I hated the smells of hospitals.

The hot beads of water relaxed away any anger or frustration I still had for Tara. After finishing my shower I wrapped a towel around me and looked in the mirror. I had dark circles under my blue eyes and noticed I seemed to be losing weight. I cleared the thoughts out of my head and brushed my hair out before blow drying it. I walked over to my closet and chose my outfit. After getting dressed I took the time to look over my room. Not much had changed since high school a lot of photos were framed of me and Jax or some of the other guys. My favorite was sitting on my dresser. My graduation I was valedictorian adorning a deep green cap and gown. Jax was hugging me from behind his arms wrapped around my waist his head beside mine mom dad and will were on my right with Gemma and Clay on my left Opie Tig and Chibs were beside Gemma while Juice and Bobby stood beside Will Luann and Otto were in the picture also. All wearing big proud smiles. Mom had added some pictures since I had been gone most of me and Jason and others of me and friends in the Army. I picked up one of Jason and I. He was wearing a white button down and jeans while I was wearing a deep purple babydoll tank top and jeans also. My head was on his chest and my left hand was beside my face showing off my engagment ring. A small smile found its way to my face with tears burning my eyes.

"Knock Knock". I turned to see Will in the doorway. "Moms downstairs ready to go. Me and Dad have to shower before we head out so do you want to ride with mom or one of us?" "Ill ride with mom so I can help her carry the food." He nodded before walking to his room minutes later I heard the shower running. I grabbed my leather jacket and walked downstairs.
"Ready?" mom asked I nodded and helped her carry the many dishes to her suv .

We pulled up to Gemma and Clay's house and parked amongst the bikes scattered in the drive way. I helped mom carry some of the dishes and went ahead and walked in. "Hey Gemma" I greeted as I layed different things down. "Hey hon" she smiled. I walked outside to get the last three dishes when someone grabbed me from behind. Instinct took over I quickly jabbed my elbow in the my captors abdomen before turning quickly and sending a punch to their nose causing them to hit the pavement of the drive way. They groaned softly and thats when I noticed the leather cut. "Oh God Jax Im so sorry" I kneeled down next to him "No its ok Dixie. I shouldn't have snuck up behind you like that. Remind me to never piss you off." he said groaning slightly as he held his nose I reached up and removed his hands from his nose which was bleed slightly. "Im so sorry" I said again. He grabbed my wrist gently "Its ok I promise Im fine". I sighed and turned around to grab the last dishes but Jax beat me to the last two. His nose still bleeding slightly.

"Jax what the hell happend?" Gemma yelled "I snuck up on Dixie and scared her making her kick my ass before realizing it was me" Jax said with a slight smile. Gemma and mom looked kind of shocked. When I was younger I was a terrible fighter but Jason had helped me and I had done a little fighting in the Army. "Come one let me atleast clean you up" I said grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bathroom. He sat on the on the counter as I grabbed a cloth wetting it and cleaned the blood.
"Im going to be there for Jason's funeral" Jax told me I could feel his eyes on my but I avoided looking at him and kept my eyes on the blood. I only nodded afraid my voice would fail me and crack and I would end up crying in his chest. Jax kissed my forhead before he walked out of the bathromm leaving me there by myself. I sighed leaning on the counter before cleaning out the cloth and walking back to the kitchen.

I started setting up the food mom and I had made when I felt a presense behind me and this time I looked behind me instead of acting on instinct. Chibs and Tig was smiling behind me. "Dixie did you bring us your famous mac and chees?" Chibs asked in such an innocent voice I had to laugh. "Yes I did Chibs and Tigger I made your favorite rolls and green beans wrapped in bacon." I laughed. "Have I told you I love you lately?" Chibs asked me as Tig hugged me tightly to his chest. "No you havent" I laughed as I patted Tig's back. Opie and Donna arrived with Kenny and Ellie minutes later. "Dixie its good to see you" Donna smiled hugging me "Thanks its good to see you too" I told her as she helped me carry all the food outside where Gemma decided we would eat.

"Both you James and Otto could never say no to Dixie no matter what she asked for" Opie's booming voice rang out as he told Clay how I had both him my dad and otto wrapped around my finger after dinner. "Thats not true" I butt in. "Yes it is Dixie what about the time she broke over $500 worth of vodka at the club" Jax broke in "I was six!" I defended. "Or the fact that she had three wrecks while in high school and each time you bought her the new car she wanted with all the fixings leather enterior stero everything" Tig laughed. I sat back in my chair with my arms crossed biting the inside of my cheek. "Theres nothing wrong with being spoiled as long as you dont let it go to your head and luckily I didnt" I mumbled causing everyone to laugh at me.

Half Sack was cleaning up and I decided to help him when a glass was spilt. I jumped in surprise as the cold water drenched my shirt and stuck to my skin making it clearly see through. "Oh crap!! Dixie Im so sorry!! I didnt mean to really it was an accident!! Im sorry" Half Sack rambled while the guys hurled insults at him. "Half sack its ok its just a shirt. Im fine really" I gave him a small smile while grabbing a napkin to try and dry atleast around my chest where you could see my bra. I felt a hand on my shoulder I looked to see Jax "Come on I got some extra shirts in the house" I nodded and followed him inside. We walked toward his room with him behind me a hand on my waist as we walked. He dug through what used to be his closet and handed me a flannel shirt. I turned my back to him and pulled off the wet shirt. Before I could pull on his I felt his hand trace a cresent shape on my shoulder blade. "Where is this scar from?" he asked "Basic training. Got caught in the barb wire and ripped my shoulder open" I whispered playing with the collar of the shirt in my hand as he continued to run his fingers down my back. I was becoming self concious and nervous. "You look good" Jax commented considering I had lost some weight and gained muscle. "What about this one" he asked tracing a straight line close to my hip "Got shot they had to remove the bullet" I whispered. I felt his fingers leave my skin and quickly pulled on the shirt.

We went downstairs to see everyone was now in the living room. I accepted a beer that was being offered to me by Chibs. I sat down on the couch while mom dad Clay and Gemma were in the kitchen. "Dixie will you go dress shopping with me and momma for my dance?" Ellie asked "Of course I will. If its ok with your mom" I told her. Ellie looked at her mom with puppy dog eyes "It fine with me" Donna smiled before saying something about getting the kids in bed and left. We all lounged around talking about old times after an hour the alchol had kicked in and Juice was well past drunk. "Dixie I dont know what it is but you seem different to me since you came home" Juice said. That hit me hard. " I just came back from a place where they hated me and everything I stand for. That place is where our brothers are dieing for others who dont seem to care anymore. That changed me. Sorry if I don't live up to your expectations." I said standing up and walking out of the room and into the kitchen. Gemma Luanne and my mom were all cleaning dishes while talking. They aburtly stopped once they noticed me walk in the room. "So Dixie are you planning on working anytime soon?" Luann asked "Im planning on it " I answered. "Well I can pull some strings and get you a place at Cara Cara." "WHAT?!?! LUANN NO!!" my mom yelled "Geez mom calm down. Thanks Luann but I dont know if Im Cara Cara material I mean I've only slept with two guys in my life" I said pulling myself up ontop of the counter. "I understand if you ever need money though I can get you a job dealing with the finances or something other than being an actress". "Thanks Luann I appriciate it" I hugged her. "What about the garage? I wont be around there much once Abel comes home you could take my place but untill he comes home you can help me with errands and lunch runs" Gemma said. "That would be awesome Gemma plus I think I would feel more comfortable around the guys after the funeral" I said slipping off the counter and opening the fridge. "We can talk about all the details later" she winked at me.

Clay walked up to "I know this is probably not something you want to talk about, but when is the funeral?" he asked in the nicest way possible. "Friday" I told him. Today being Wednesday. He nodded "We will be there the entire time" I nodded and hugged him. I missed his bear hugs. When he let me go I grabbed another beer and walked back into the living room kissing his cheek on the way.

I sat beside Jax when Half Sack decided to break the awkward silence which I was grateful for. "So your named after Otto?" he asked. "Yeah Dixie Lee Delayne. I guess no one told you the reason though huh?" he shook his head no. "A month before I was born a gun run went bad. Dad got shot in the back bullet went close to his spine. The guy went to kill him and Otto killed him before he could pull the trigger saved my dads life. Doctors didnt want to risk paralyzing him so the left the bullet where it was thats the reason for his limp." I explained.
Half-sack looked at me amazed before the two of us started a converstaion about his time in the Army along with mine. He was a good kid and with time I think he'll make a great Son.

Another hour passed before we left and drove home. I took another shower and changed back into Jax's shirt before falling asleep.