Zombie 2.0 1/2
Are you sure you didn’t hear that?
Rev wasn’t your average person on a good day. So when things started going south he started turning in to a more maniacal version of himself.
Deci returned to the cave in time to see Rev practicing kung fu, around their fellow cave-mates. Ivan was trying hard to ignore him as he stood right over him, waving his arms around making noises.
“Rev, don’t be a pest.” Deci said sitting down in a lawn chair. She didn’t know where it came from but she didn’t question these things.
“I’m not. I’m practicing the art of ‘I no touchin’ you’.”
“You’re practicing the art of ‘Ivan gonna get mad and kill you’.” Ivan said looking up at him. “Must you?”
“I don’t must, but I think it’d be better if we all practiced this. You know just in case we ever need it. A zombie could be infected and right next to you, how are you going to get away? Run? No, you need to dodge it.” Rev said shifting from one foot to the other.
“Deci, will you put your leash back on your dog?” Norman asked from the opposite side of the room.
“He’s not mine. I didn’t sign any paper work. You tell him to get the fuck out of there or call animal control.” She said.
“I am not a dog people.” Rev said giving up and sitting down next to Deci. He grinned at her but she sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Are you still mad?” He asked.
“Why wouldn’t I be? You called me fat.”
“WOMEN!” he yelled frustrated. “I wasn’t calling you fat. It’s like a bro code thing. He weighs more than me I call him fat, I’m not even talking about you! Just because you hear the word fat you think I’m talking about you?”
Deci glared at him.
“I know what I’m saying sounds like I’m talking out my ass right now…But I’m not meaning to!”
“I don’t care.” Deci went to get up but Rev grabbed her arm and pulled. A little too hard.
Deci fell over and landed on Rev causing him to make a weird sound and fall over the rest of the way too.
“There has got to be an end to this madness.” Pilot said when he walked in and saw what was going on.
“There is, it’s called get rid of the Reverend. Then we won’t have any problems.” Ivan said.
“I don’t cause issues here. I help them.”
“He’s just going house queer is all.” Deci said sitting up and shoving Rev back over when he made an attempt at sitting up as well.
“In that case, take your dog for a walk so he’ll stop being a pain in the ass.” Norman said.
“I am getting tired of you calling him a dog.” Deci said standing up.
“What are you going to do about it sweetheart?”
Deci reached in to a bag and pulled out something large and threw it full force at Norman. He ducked just in time and heard a clang off the cave wall. He looked back.
“Did you just try to hit me with a frying pan?!”
“I didn’t try to hit you. I missed on purpose. Next time you won’t be so lucky.”
“Okay, enough. I can’t listen to this shit anymore. All you kids need a good time out. Deci and Rev go for a walk, watch your back I don’t want to have to come save your ass. And as for you two, I know that you weren’t taught to play well with others, but you need to remember this is your family from now on. Grow up boys.”
Ivan and Norman looked at each other and sighed, then continued to finish their work.
Banana slept in the corner, or so everyone thought. But she was wide awake.
.......................
“Something is off about the jackass twins.” Rev said as they walked. He jumped up on rocks and off them, causing extra work for himself. This is how Deci knew he was starting to get a little edgy.
“You know Rev, I still am not forgiving you for the fat thing, but you are getting a little bit ADHD bro.”
“I know. I get like this when I’m nervous, because right after I get like this something bad happens. I feel it. It’s like, my parents getting split up or something.”
“Why? Nothing is really going on… I mean, besides the usual.”
“So did you find Dean?” Rev asked changing the subject sort of.
“Why do you ask?”
“Because Banana. She always has that body language about her when her and the old man fight. I figured it was due time anyways. They were getting along pretty good.”
“Well, yeah, I found him. I guess she brought up his dead ex, and he’s trying too hard to change her.”
“You can’t make a rock a damn flower.” Rev said.
“I guess. But I don’t think he’s used to having to work at anything.”
“No, I’m sure him and his dead ex just had everything fall in to place. No working there.”
“You know what I mean. She was probably his high school girlfriend. There’s no work to that, they knew everything before it happened. Typical boring ass crap. Now with Banana, you know she and him are a perfect fit, but they are so good that their stubborn disease over takes them and neither of them can take a chill pill.”
“True. So why don’t we just do something to make them not hate each other?”
“Oh, like what?”
“I have no idea, but I’m sure we can think of something. Don’t you? I’m sick of all this fighting. And I’ll be nice to Norman and Ivan if they stop being such assholes. They’re really starting to suck.”
“I know, I’m not sure what it is, but I wouldn’t mind a zombie munching on them right now.” Deci said.
“So… operation Banana Pie is a go?” Rev asked.
“Yes. It is.”
Deci returned to the cave in time to see Rev practicing kung fu, around their fellow cave-mates. Ivan was trying hard to ignore him as he stood right over him, waving his arms around making noises.
“Rev, don’t be a pest.” Deci said sitting down in a lawn chair. She didn’t know where it came from but she didn’t question these things.
“I’m not. I’m practicing the art of ‘I no touchin’ you’.”
“You’re practicing the art of ‘Ivan gonna get mad and kill you’.” Ivan said looking up at him. “Must you?”
“I don’t must, but I think it’d be better if we all practiced this. You know just in case we ever need it. A zombie could be infected and right next to you, how are you going to get away? Run? No, you need to dodge it.” Rev said shifting from one foot to the other.
“Deci, will you put your leash back on your dog?” Norman asked from the opposite side of the room.
“He’s not mine. I didn’t sign any paper work. You tell him to get the fuck out of there or call animal control.” She said.
“I am not a dog people.” Rev said giving up and sitting down next to Deci. He grinned at her but she sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Are you still mad?” He asked.
“Why wouldn’t I be? You called me fat.”
“WOMEN!” he yelled frustrated. “I wasn’t calling you fat. It’s like a bro code thing. He weighs more than me I call him fat, I’m not even talking about you! Just because you hear the word fat you think I’m talking about you?”
Deci glared at him.
“I know what I’m saying sounds like I’m talking out my ass right now…But I’m not meaning to!”
“I don’t care.” Deci went to get up but Rev grabbed her arm and pulled. A little too hard.
Deci fell over and landed on Rev causing him to make a weird sound and fall over the rest of the way too.
“There has got to be an end to this madness.” Pilot said when he walked in and saw what was going on.
“There is, it’s called get rid of the Reverend. Then we won’t have any problems.” Ivan said.
“I don’t cause issues here. I help them.”
“He’s just going house queer is all.” Deci said sitting up and shoving Rev back over when he made an attempt at sitting up as well.
“In that case, take your dog for a walk so he’ll stop being a pain in the ass.” Norman said.
“I am getting tired of you calling him a dog.” Deci said standing up.
“What are you going to do about it sweetheart?”
Deci reached in to a bag and pulled out something large and threw it full force at Norman. He ducked just in time and heard a clang off the cave wall. He looked back.
“Did you just try to hit me with a frying pan?!”
“I didn’t try to hit you. I missed on purpose. Next time you won’t be so lucky.”
“Okay, enough. I can’t listen to this shit anymore. All you kids need a good time out. Deci and Rev go for a walk, watch your back I don’t want to have to come save your ass. And as for you two, I know that you weren’t taught to play well with others, but you need to remember this is your family from now on. Grow up boys.”
Ivan and Norman looked at each other and sighed, then continued to finish their work.
Banana slept in the corner, or so everyone thought. But she was wide awake.
.......................
“Something is off about the jackass twins.” Rev said as they walked. He jumped up on rocks and off them, causing extra work for himself. This is how Deci knew he was starting to get a little edgy.
“You know Rev, I still am not forgiving you for the fat thing, but you are getting a little bit ADHD bro.”
“I know. I get like this when I’m nervous, because right after I get like this something bad happens. I feel it. It’s like, my parents getting split up or something.”
“Why? Nothing is really going on… I mean, besides the usual.”
“So did you find Dean?” Rev asked changing the subject sort of.
“Why do you ask?”
“Because Banana. She always has that body language about her when her and the old man fight. I figured it was due time anyways. They were getting along pretty good.”
“Well, yeah, I found him. I guess she brought up his dead ex, and he’s trying too hard to change her.”
“You can’t make a rock a damn flower.” Rev said.
“I guess. But I don’t think he’s used to having to work at anything.”
“No, I’m sure him and his dead ex just had everything fall in to place. No working there.”
“You know what I mean. She was probably his high school girlfriend. There’s no work to that, they knew everything before it happened. Typical boring ass crap. Now with Banana, you know she and him are a perfect fit, but they are so good that their stubborn disease over takes them and neither of them can take a chill pill.”
“True. So why don’t we just do something to make them not hate each other?”
“Oh, like what?”
“I have no idea, but I’m sure we can think of something. Don’t you? I’m sick of all this fighting. And I’ll be nice to Norman and Ivan if they stop being such assholes. They’re really starting to suck.”
“I know, I’m not sure what it is, but I wouldn’t mind a zombie munching on them right now.” Deci said.
“So… operation Banana Pie is a go?” Rev asked.
“Yes. It is.”