But Maybe We'll Live Forever

I’d run out then, my mind full of dark, sad, twisted thoughts. I wanted out of there; I felt claustrophobic and afraid and alone. I bolted down the hallway, trying not to look behind me even though I heard footsteps – not of all of them, but one.

They were too fast for me and bolted in front of me as I made a turn, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to turn to face them.

It was Kobra Kid.

“Atomic,” he said quietly, his eyes never wavering, “calm down. Stop it. Stop struggling, Atomic! Jesus – please, oh no, stop crying, calm down, look at me—”

His voice was oddly soothing for a cold blooded murderer, but I refused to stop struggling. Instead I kept fighting and looked at him coldly, brushing the tears away from my face. “Or what? What’ll you do? Slaughter me like you did to those kids? That woman?”

His grip on my arm loosened for a split second, but that wasn’t enough time for me to get away. He recovered and had a death grip again before I could even blink. His voice was low, quiet, deadly. “Don’t ever say that again. Don’t ever talk about that ever again. Do you hear me?”

I bit my lip, breaking the skin. It started to bleed, and I licked my lips; the metallic taste filling my mouth. I wanted to spit in his face, but I couldn’t bring myself to. It seemed the only moving I was capable of doing was struggling, and even that was ceasing slowly as I heard him talk; felt his dark eyes on me.

“Why not? You did it.” I didn’t look at him; I cast my eyes to the floor.

“You’re right,” he said quietly, “we did. We fucking did it, and at the time, we thought it was the right thing to do. We even thought it felt good, bringing that man to justice.”

“That’s sick,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes again. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Let go of me! LET GO OF ME!” I started struggling again, trying to pull myself out of his grip. Needless to say, it didn’t work out for me too well, and I remained in his clutches.

“You’re right,” Kobra Kid said, raising his voice just a little at my screams. It was still low and quiet, though. His eyes never left me. “It is sick. It’s very, very sick. Disgusting, cruel, vicious, heartless.” He gently took my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. “But don’t think that every day, just blinking doesn’t bring back that horrible memory. We’re held down by what we’ve done, Atomic.”

Unable to pull my face away from him, I closed my eyes tightly. “Let go of me,” I whimpered.

He ignored me. “Every night, I fall asleep and I dream of seeing the blood splatter the white tile of that home. Children’s blood. Innocent people’s blood. I hear that agent’s wife screaming for mercy, screaming our names – ‘Killjoys, Killjoys – God, no, God, please’ – every single night. And I will wake up in a cold sweat, only to see my brother holding back tears from the same dream.”

“Let go.” My voice was only a whisper.

“We regret it, Atomic. We regret our past. But now we know better than that. We know the difference between right and wrong, we know not to let blind hate guide us all the time. That would make us no better than Korse.” Kobra continued to ignore my whimpers, staring at me as he spoke.

“Please, let go of me,” I whispered, barely audible.

“No,” he finally responded. “I’m not letting go. I’m never going to let go, Atomic. You have to understand what I’m saying to you right now. Listen to me.”

“Please don’t kill me,” I squeaked.

His eyes widened just a little, and through his mask of unfeeling I could see the slightest bit of hurt. “I won’t kill you,” he said, even more quietly than before. “We’d never kill you. None of us would.”

I tried to force myself out of his grasp again, but he didn’t let go. In fact, his grip tightened and he began dragging me back to the hotel room. “Atomic, we would never hurt you. Try to understand that. We don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“You’re a liar!” I screamed. “You’re a murderer and a liar!”

His grip tightened even more, and I saw my wrist turning white. His voice flowed back to me steadily as we reached the hotel room and he opened the door. “Do you really think that if I was a murderer, you’d be alive right now? Think about that. If I was a murderer and a liar, why would I even waste my time with you right now? I’d spit some lies at you and kill you, wouldn’t I? But I’m not. We’re all not. Think about that, Atomic.”

He practically threw me at the feet of Party Poison.