But Maybe We'll Live Forever

I was thrown roughly into the boys’ Killjoy car.

The girls didn’t protest; just watched me dully, apologetically, and a little disappointedly as they got into Ritalin’s car, rolling up the windows and revving their engine.

“We’ll meet you there,” Party Poison said roughly to them as he got in the driver’s seat, putting his head down on the wheel as he gripped it so tightly his knuckles turned white. He didn’t speak to me at first; he didn’t even look at me. But I knew something was coming.

I was between Fun Ghoul and Jet Star in the backseat, as usual. They didn’t say anything either. They also didn’t make eye contact. I knew they weren’t mad – well, as mad as Kobra Kid and Party Poison – but they still wouldn’t look at me or speak to me. They just sat there and stared forward at the back of the seats in front of them awkwardly, as if they were the most interesting things they’d ever seen.

The seething presences of the two brothers sitting in the front was too much for me to bear, but I didn’t dare speak for fear of being hurt somehow.

“Right now, it’s pretty much worthless to speak to you,” Party Poison said, looking in the rearview mirror at me. “I know nothing can get through when you’re like this. But when you sober up” – a angry, cruel, vicious look flashed in his dark eyes – “we’re going to talk.”

I felt myself burst into tears again. I leaned onto Fun Ghoul’s shoulder, not caring even when he went stiff as if unsure what to do at the moment. I just cried and cried and cried, forgetting my dignity, forgetting how I must look to the boys right now. All I knew was that I was miserable and sick and my head was pounding and I didn’t want any of them to be angry at me and it all just hurt so much.

I sobbed myself into a deep, dark, blank, and dreamless slumber there on Fun Ghoul’s stiffened shoulder. It all faded into my sleep. Even as I slept, though, I cried.

When I woke up, it was dark. We were driving down a part of Battery City that wasn’t too occupied; that somewhat ratty outskirts that no one really paid any attention to. At first, when my eyes opened, I thought we were back in the desert, but I saw dim white lights glowing on the signs that I wasn’t bothering to read. The same ominous light that shone so brightly in the main city.

I didn’t bring my head up or show that I was awake. I shut my eyes quickly at the sound of the boys talking, trying to make myself look as dead to the world as I had been before.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do about her,” Party Poison said.

“You’ve been saying that over and over for the past few hours,” Jet Star replied.

“It’s true. I really don’t,” I heard Party say.

“You can’t blame her that much,” Fun Ghoul said, a twinge of kindness in his voice. “That fucking piece of trash got one of those weird-ass rebel drugs in her drink; she wasn’t exactly in her right mind.”

“I’m not just angry about her fucking him,” I heard Party say with an edge in his voice. “I’m angry that she went with him in the first place. I specifically told her to meet us at the parking garage right after the speech. I told everyone that, didn’t I? Her going down, getting wasted, and being a fucking whore was just the icing on the cake.”

I felt a pang in my gut.

“She’s not a whore,” Fun Ghoul said quietly, a bit defensively, his hand resting on my shoulder.

“Good ‘ol Fun, looking for the good in everyone,” murmured Kobra Kid dully.

“She’s not a whore!” Fun Ghoul repeated.

“Oh, wait until she kisses you,” Party Poison hissed.

“She was drugged up, you can’t say that she’s a whore just because she kissed you and then—”

“Well maybe Party’s not the only one who’s gotten kissed by her!” I heard Kobra say viciously.

There was a silence.

“You did not,” Party Poison growled quietly.

“That’s right, maybe you’re not the only fucking one here who’s been fucked around with by that fucking skank! She messed with me too!” Kobra retorted.

“I’m going to fucking pull over—”

“GUYS! GUYS. Guys. Shut up. The mission’s already been postponed by Atomic Battery’s little incident, okay? Can we try to keep it okay between us? We’ll deal with this stuff later. Just find the fucking rebel hide out, and we’ll deal with all of this after we’re done treating her for the drugs and doing the mission. Can we handle that?” Jet Star’s voice rang surprisingly firm throughout the car.

There was a dull silence surrounding the car, making the atmosphere even more tense. I felt tears filling my closed eyes, blurring the blackness even more.

After a few more minutes of driving like that, I felt the car stop. I heard doors opening and closing.

“Atomic,” whispered Fun Ghoul, shaking me slightly. “Come on, Atomic. Wake up. We’ve found a place to stay tonight. We’re putting off the mission until we can get you together, okay? Don’t worry about anything. Just get up.”

I blinked a few times, acting like I had just woken up. “Hm? Where are we?”

“An inside-the-city rebel haven. It’s not very comfortable, kind of crowded and cold, but we don’t have anywhere else to stay tonight,” Fun Ghoul responded as he helped me to my feet.

Fun Ghoul led me along as I stumbled down another ladder that was labeled as a sewer. Like the club, though, it wasn’t a sewer, but a small bunker full of dirty looking Killjoys and rebels shivering and doing their best to keep warm and safe. A few of them were eating something – chips or crackers or something of the like. Three or four of them were smoking. Most of them were shivering and huddled up, trying to sleep.

“If it isn’t the high-and-mighty king Killjoy,” a raspy male voice murmured as Party Poison walked by, looking for an empty space for us.

He ignored the taunt and continued walking as we followed, finally finding a spot that we could all rest in. He laid a blanket down for us on the cold cement.

The voice repeated, smoother this time, “I’m talkin’ to you, Party Poison.”

“I heard you. We needed a place to stay. We’re not looking for hostility,” Party replied, helping me sit down on the blanket a little roughly.

“’Course you weren’t. Why ya need ta stay here, hm? Dr. D ain’t lettin’ ya go ta his place fer everythin’ ya need anymore?” the man said, his rough voice back.

“I know it’s you, Galaxy Escape,” Party Poison said. “Cut the weird ass voice and scuttle out of the shadows like the little rat you are.”

“Well, don’t you know me anywhere,” the man’s voice came again, smooth this time, and, dare I say even sultry sounding. “No need for the low blow insults, Party.”

I looked around for who the voice belonged to, but no one gave him away, and I couldn’t see him anywhere. I peered into the shadows, looking for the slightest bit of movement, but saw nothing. I looked over to Jet Star and Fun Ghoul questioningly, to which Jet Star responded with the shake of his head and Fun Ghoul didn’t respond at all – he, too, was looking for the guy. But I had a feeling he knew who he was.

“You’re the one who started the insults, Galaxy. Now cut it out and get out of whatever hole you’re hiding in. You’re scaring the girl,” Party Poison said, waving a hand half-heartedly in my direction. “She’s kind of new to this and we’re having enough issues.”

“Speaking of which,” the voice purred, “who is your lovely lady friend?”

“She’s none of your business,” hissed Party.

“No, she’s pretty.”

“We’ve had enough scum rebels preying on her tonight!”

“Scum rebel? Is that really what you think of me now? Once upon a time we were friends—”

“I don’t care. Come out of the dark or leave. I don’t want to deal with your games right now,” Party Poison said, his voice ringing in that authority-filled way of his.

There was a sigh from the voice, and then a man stepped out of a pitch black shadow alarmingly close to us. There was a slight smirk on his face, and he gave me a mock bow when noticing me staring at him. “Lovely night, isn’t it?”

I noticed Kobra Kid gripping his ray gun as he stared at the man, his intense eyes flaring with something that wasn’t quite hate, but definitely wasn’t a friendly look. “You just show up wherever the hell we decide to go, don’t you? Are you following us?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” the man laughed. “I’m a bit of a coward, but I’m not evil.”

“A bit,” scoffed Party Poison. “You fucking let them take Bullet Deceiver without a fight, and you think you’re just a bit of a coward?”

“My group wasn’t with me. I was alone. I couldn’t take them down by myself.”

“Bullet fought.”

“I did too.”

“That’s not what I saw on the footage!”

I looked over at Fun Ghoul, feeling my heart pounding. I wanted him to say that whoever they were talking about wasn’t my brother, and that this was a different Bullet Deceiver, and that I shouldn’t feel my heart dropping to my toes and tears filling my eyes right now. He shook his head at me, looking down; defeated.

I turned and looked at Bulletproof Liberation, who’d followed us down with the other girls. She looked the same way I felt; shocked and pained. She looked toward me and we caught eyes for a moment, feeling each other’s pain double before we looked back forward at the man.

“Not here,” Jet Star mumbled at the two men, shaking his head at them. “Keep the peace for one night. I beg of you. If not for Atomic, for Grace.”

Party and the man glared at each other.

Jet Star spoke again, his voice firm. “Galaxy, you’re in the presence of Bulletproof Liberation, Bullet’s lover, and Atomic Battery, his little sister. I would advise you to watch yourself.”

The man – Galaxy Escape? – rested his eyes on me and Bulletproof. For a moment, I saw pain fill his eyes. Pain similar to mine. But the look quickly disappeared and was replaced by the same confident, sarcastic look. “I’ll do my best to make sure the ladies don’t hate me more than they probably already do,” he said.

“Good,” Jet Star said. He motioned for Party Poison to sit down on the blanket with the rest of us, and Party did so, still glaring up at Galaxy.

Eventually, the guys fell asleep, but I was awake, sitting there staring at nothing in particular with Bulletproof, who was doing the same. It was too much to process all in one night. This was more than a mess. This was my world being torn to even more pieces than before.

Someone could’ve saved my brother, and that someone didn’t.

I didn’t know the man, but I knew I would never forgive him.

“Hey,” the familiar smooth voice rang in my ear.

I jumped up and looked into the eyes of Galaxy Escape, who’d snuck up on me and Bulletproof Liberation almost completely silently. I looked over at Bulletproof, who was looking up at him with a look that I couldn’t quite read that well. But it wasn’t a good look.

“I know,” Galaxy murmured. “I know. But you don’t know the whole story. Allow me to at least try to explain.” He turned around and began to walk away. He stopped at not seeing us following him and turned back around to look at us, holding his hand out. “Are you coming or not?”

With one more look at Bulletproof, I got up.

She did the same.