A Conversation With Jimmy

"I have a confession."

"What, Julia?"

"I fell in love."

"Uh oh."

"Yeah. I'm only now starting to really come to terms with it."

"With what's his face?"

"John."

"So what's stopping you from-"

"He has a girlfriend."

"Ah."

"A snake of a woman. Horrible."

"It won't last long, and then he'll be free."

"I don't think so."

"Because you're stupid."

"No, because he's stupid. He worked so hard to get her.... Chasing her for a year... doing everything for her. Sweet man..."

"How do you know you're in love?"

"I just... I just know. I've never felt this way for anyone in my entire life. I love him more than anything. I would do anything for him."

"Ha."

"He's always on my mind. Always. And, all I really want is to touch him. Look at him. Listen to him. Be near him. The way he touches me, looks at me, talks to me... it's killing me."

"Love is a weird thing."

"Yeah... I'm sorry, Jimmy."

"About what?"

"You know... love. You... Leana. I'm sorry."

"Hm."

"You still love her, right?"

"Of course. Of course I still love her. I miss her and love her with every fiber of my being. And, yes. It still hurts. But, I know that she's okay. She's okay, and that means I'm okay. Going to be okay."

"Okay."

"Stop bringing up my past. It just makes me sad."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. It's just-"

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry about it. Ever thought of telling him?"

"All the time. But, he's been different lately. She's changed him. Immensely. Horribly. Her and his work has changed him. He's tired and angry and miserable."

"So, why doesn't he leave her?"

"He believes that he deserves to be miserable. He believes that this is the best he can do in life. He believes that there is nothing more for him in this world."

"He sounds like an idiot."

"He's not. He's just... confused. He grew up... wrong. His parents are wrong."

"You would fall for an idiot."

"Please don't call him that. Only I can call him that."

"You love him?"

"Yes. I know I do. It's just so hard for me to say out loud. I've told one person. And, she doesn't seem to care much. She doesn't like the snake, either, but I think she underestimates me."

"Hm. Is there anyone else you can tell? It might make you feel better."

"I've been trying to think. But, I'm terrified that it's already obvious, you know?"

"Uh-huh. Sure. I guess."

"There are certain things that he says to me. His best friend, too. I'm terrified that they can see it. I mean... I thought he could see it, and that's why I kept falling farther and farther into him. God, his eyes. They're so honest. It's amazing."

"Julia."

"Yes?"

"Give it a couple months. Just a few months. It'll work itself out one way or another."

"Are you sure?"

"Julia."

"Yes?"

"I'm sure."