Some Say This Can't Be Real.

-Lisa’s POV-

When I woke up in my bed, I was confused. I didn’t remember falling asleep here. I remembered falling asleep curled up next to Zack. After blinking a few times, I finally got out of bed and wandered. The apartment was silent, and Johnny’s keys were gone. There was a note where they normally lay. Out with Matt and Zack for the day. Taking a guy’s day. Brian is off limits until further notice. Do not call him, text him, do not do anything. We’re getting things settled. See you later.

After I grabbed a bite to eat, I showered, dressed and sat around for a while. I began to get restless. I tried calling Val, but she didn’t answer. Leana’s number looked inviting, but I was afraid to talk to her because I didn’t know how she was taking the whole situation. Eventually I decided to see if I had anything else I needed to organize and put away, then felt like cleaning. I cleaned the apartment while blasting music.

Cleaning had wasted a few hours of my time, and then I got to thinking again. I remembered what I had seen yesterday in the storage garage, and after grabbing my key, I headed down and let myself in. Jimmy’s drum kit sat there, inviting me. As I sat behind it, I felt awkward and just plain odd. Why? I don’t know. I shook the feeling, grabbed a pair of drumsticks and started to play. Starting off easy with a few songs my old band wrote, and then decided to try and play some of what I learned from Jimmy. He had taught me a few of their older songs.

Time flew by as I had my iPod hooked up on speakers, and was playing along to some of my favorite songs. ‘Seize The Day,’ ‘Gunslinger,’ ‘Dear God,’ ‘Brompton Cocktail,’ and so on. Some songs I sang the words with, and played my favorite B-side, ‘Until The End.’ The song reminded me of Jimmy, and I began to cry while playing it. I had gotten too into it that I didn’t even get the feelings of being watched. The song ended and I sat behind the drum kit crying. I jumped when a hand touched my back.

“Lisa?”

With a sniffle, I looked and met my favorite pair of green eyes. “Hey, Zacky. What’s up?”

“Came by because Johnny forgot his credit card. I heard the drumming and came over.”

I turned away, embarrassed. They had never heard me playing their songs except when Jimmy was showing me a few things. “Sorry you had to hear that.”

“I actually thought it was amazing. I’ve never heard you play like that before.”

“Well I did learn from the best, and had a little over two years to practice while in Chicago. I’m not that great though.”

“Nobody is the best, but you are really good. I’m impressed.”

“Nah.”

“Alright fine, I’m not going to argue with you about it.” He grinned.

I couldn’t help but grin back at him. “You leaving with the guys again?”

“Yeah for a while. We’re talking about what to do about Brian, then we’ll probably come back later.”

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later then.” I sat back on the stool while he walked away. “Hey, Zacky?” I called to him.

“Yo?” He turned back around.

“You still like me don’t you?” I asked quietly. When I was curled up next to him the previous night, I had overheard him and Johnny talking.

He blushed lightly. “Yeah I do. The same as I always have.” He smiled before heading back out.

I smiled to myself as I watched him walk away. After a bit more random drumming, I locked up and headed back inside. Night fell and I watched a few movies while in deep thought about Zack.

“Zacky? Why did you ask me to dress up this nice? It‘s my birthday, but there‘s nothing special about turning nineteen.” I rambled as I got into his car. I noticed he was also dressed more than casual. Nice black pants, a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up a quarter of the way, and a red tie. I was in a pair of black slacks wearing a purple blouse with my heeled boots.

“You’ll see,” he said.

He drove for a bit until pulling into an Olive Garden. We talked over a nice dinner then he stopped off by the beach where we walked on the boardwalk together. Awkward silence fell over both of us.

“You know that I like you a lot, right?” he asked.

I smiled with a light blush. “Of course. Everybody knows.” I laughed.

“Well thanks to Johnny they all know. I went to him to talk, not for him to tell everybody. I wanted his approval, and his consent before I came to you.”

“About what? That you like me?” I asked, getting a hint at what he was about to tell me.

“I would like if you would go out with me.”

“I am out with you,” I said, stupidly making a joke.

He laughed. “Not like that. I meant as in be my girlfriend.”

I hung my head. “Zacky, you know I really like you too. You’re a great friend to me, as well as the guys, but I just don’t know right now. It’s nothing with you, I just…I like someone else right now and am trying to make that work out.”

“Well, if it doesn’t?”

“I’ll think long and hard about us then,” I smiled, trying not to laugh at what I just said.

Zack caught it though and let out a laugh. “’Long and hard’ eh?”

I gave him a playful shove. “Shut up.”

“I’m not asking you to make promises or anything, but will you keep me in your mind? When I say that I like you a lot, I really mean that I like you a lot,” he said, adding emphasis on ‘a lot.’

“I will. I just need to get my mind together. You’re a great person, Zacky, and if I had everything in my head together right now, I would say yes.”

“Good. I’m glad we had this date tonight,” he said. “Happy birthday.” He put his arm around my shoulders and held me close while we walked.

“Thanks,” I said quietly as I rested my head against him.

I knew he liked me, I had known for a while, but my mind always wandered to Brian. The attraction to him was strong, even if he treated me like shit. I wanted it to work out though, because something was constantly pulling me to him. My mind also raced with the question of what they saw in me. Zack and even Jimmy. I knew that if Jimmy was single, he wouldn’t waste another heartbeat either. There wasn’t anything special about me. I was a very average person who had many flaws and didn’t find herself attractive by any means.