Some Say This Can't Be Real.

I expected Zack to push me away out of shock, but he didn’t. Instead he leaned into me, resting one hand on my hip, and the other cradling my jaw line. The cool metal of his snakebits quickly turned warm with the heat of the kiss. Something about the kiss felt natural. Complete. We parted after a moment, and I grinned at his expression. He was shocked, and through the darkness under the pier, I could still see it.

“You still mad?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“No, but…does that mean it’s a yes?”

“No.”

His face fell. “So it’s a no then.”

“Nowhere close,” I grinned again. “Give me a little more time to talk to Brian about everything. I want to get this settled first.”

“So it’ll eventually be a yes?”

I just smiled again at him. As I was about to speak, I heard familiar voices from the pier above us.

“I doubt that,” Valary was speaking. “She just needs to clear her mind. I told her to do so and not to go on anymore dates until she decides. She’s smart, she’ll make the right choice.”

“It worries me that she spent the night with Brian,” Johnny said. “It took her three years to tell us, and if anything happened, it could take another three years.”

I turned back to Zack. “We should go meet up with them.”

He nodded and then both of us headed back to the street. While sneaking up behind them, I grinned at Zack. I sprinted towards my brother and took a flying leap onto his back, nearly scaring him and taking us both into the water.

“And where were you at?” he asked.

“Zack and I went for a walk. Now we’re hungry, so let’s eat.”

The group of us went out to eat dinner, shared some more laughs until the guys started talking about the band. I was slightly shocked that they were talking about it so soon, and with Leana around. Matt was telling everyone that they wanted to write the new record, and had been talking to someone who would help them out with drums. I partially waited for Zack to pipe up and mention me, but he didn’t. I didn’t recognize the name Matt threw out, but he said that the guy was someone that Jimmy looked up to, and gladly accepted the chance to help. As it began to get late, we all parted ways, and I headed home with Johnny.

“So, where’d you and Zacky go?” he asked.

“Went for a walk.”

“Trying to make your decision right?”

“Yeah. And before you start worrying again, I promise that nothing happened between Brian and myself last night. The only thing that happened was that he kissed me, and wished that he and I were together.”

“The last person I wanna sound like is a nagging mom, but I really just don’t want you to end up hurt again, and the last thing I want is for you to disappear again.”

“I understand. I think I’ve made a decision anyways, but I need to clear a few more things up.”

“Well, if you need anything, you know I’m here for you.”

“I know, Johnny. I know.” I wanted to change the subject so he wouldn’t bug me about it anymore. “So when do we meet the new guy? What was his name again?”

“Mike. He’s been around, you just haven’t met him yet. Mostly been with Matt. He was with us earlier but left before we headed downtown.”

“I’m actually shocked that it’s happening this soon. It hasn’t even been two months.” I hung my head, remembering Jimmy’s face, and the tragic news, reliving the moment in my head.

“Lisa!” Amy shouted, running into my bedroom nearly in tears.

“What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly.

“Turn on MTV right now.” She frantically grabbed for my TV remote and turned the set on. “Damnit, it’s not on right now.”

“Amy, what happened!?” I shouted.

Karlee came running in, also nearly in tears. “Why them!? Why! They’re our favorite band. Our idols. This…no!” She shouted frantically as Amy ran out of the room.

In my head the name flashed of my brother’s band, and I immediately thought they had broken up. News that would’ve upset me, but I wouldn’t be freaking out like my two best friends were.

“What the fuck happened!?” I shouted again. “Did they break up?”

“No, it’s worse. The Rev, he’s…he’s gone.”

It felt as if I had just been hit by a truck. I felt the color drain from my face as my body went numb. “G-Gone? As in…no, that can’t be right. It has to be a sick rumor.”

“It’s not,” Amy said, running into my room with her laptop in hand. She shoved the computer into my lap, and clear as day, a news article was opened, and the headline glared at me.

Avenged Sevenfold Drummer Found Dead In Huntington Home At Age 28.

“No,” I said, feeling the numb chills run through my body. I sat frozen for a good five minutes. “Can you two leave me for a moment?” I asked quietly.

The two of them left and I instantly broke down in silent tears. One of my best friends just died, and I didn’t get to say goodbye, nor did I even see it coming. I wanted to curl up and die. I didn’t want to believe it, and I knew I had to go see it for myself. I had to risk facing my past in order to get this closure.

“Lisa? Hello?” Johnny’s voice echoed into my thoughts. “We’re home.”

I blinked. “Sorry, I was completely lost in thought,” I said as I got out of the car, following him into the building.

“About?” He asked, leading the way up the stairs to his door.

“Thinking about Jimmy, and the exact moment when I heard the news,” I said quietly as he let us both into the apartment. “I still can’t fucking believe it.”

“I know. Neither of us can. We promised ourselves though that we would do this record for Jimmy though.”

I nodded. “I’m happy about that. I really am. I knew it would’ve happened, I just didn’t expect it so soon.”

“I know, but as much as we’d like to sit around moping, it wouldn’t help. They’re starting to get restless. Not only the guys, but the crew as well.”

“Understood. I just hope it doesn’t hurt you guys a lot to do it this soon.”

“We’ll see, but Matt really wants to get this record done. Everybody’s writing some songs too.” He grabbed a beer and flung himself on the couch. “Enough about us, so who’d you decide?”

“I’m not telling until it’s all official.”

“Fine, fine. Get everything settled.”

I smiled at my brother. “I will, and I’m going to bed now. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

It was a partial lie. I did go to bed, just not asleep. After putting on a tank top and sweat pants, I had my phone in my hand, reading a text message from Zack.

Why did you kiss me earlier tonight?

My mind had slipped on the fact that I did kiss him. After a few seconds of thinking, I began typing, but as the message continued to get long, I called him instead.

“Zacky, I kissed you so you would shut up.”

“What?” He sounded hurt.

“I’m kidding. I felt horrible for upsetting you.”

“It still upsets me that you spent last night with Brian.”

“You need to listen to me. It meant nothing, and have you noticed that everything I’ve done with you lately has been purely voluntary?”

“I understand everything, except the reason as to why you’re hesitating.”

“I’ve said it already, because of us being emotional.”

“Okay, you’re not listening. Why did you hesitate before all this happened?”

“I like Brian too. I told you that also. Why are you afraid of his confidence?”

“Because I don’t want him to be with someone who deserves better.”

“He’s not a bad guy, and he’s your best friend.”

“He is, but he hurt you, and that didn’t fly with me. I just want to make you my girlfriend before he does anything that’ll be regretted later. I’m sure if he knows you’re taken, his confidence in it will go down.”

“No, you’re not using me to make Brian feel bad.”

“I just want to protect you from being hurt again. I want you to have everything you deserve.”

“I know you do.”

“I have something to say to you, and if I came over right now, would you come meet me?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll text you when I’m close.”

I told him I’d wait for his text. Twenty minutes later, and when I was just falling asleep, he told me he was pulling in. I threw on a hoodie and headed out. Johnny was asleep on the couch, I noticed as I grabbed his keys and walked out. Zack was walking up the path.

“What is it?” I asked, looking at him.

“I wanna protect you, but there’s more to it. Lisa, I can’t try to hide and deny it anymore that I really am in love with you. I have been for so long, and you deserve someone who wouldn’t hurt you, ever.”

My mind was still stuck on the ‘L’ word as my eyes widened with shock. It wasn’t breaking news to me, but hearing him say it affected me deeply. The only way I could respond was to hug him tightly.

“What?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve made my decision, but I need to have some meetings to get a few things straightened out. I’ll be in touch about it when I do get my head together.”

“No hints?” He pulled away a bit to look me in the eyes.

“Nope, and that’s my final answer. You’ll know soon though.” I paused for a moment. “I just need to be completely sure that there won’t be any tension.”

He sighed. “Fine, I guess I can wait, especially if it means good things to me.”

I chuckled softly. “I’ll let you know. I’m going to bed now, so I’ll see you later.”

As I was about to turn to head back inside, he grabbed me in another hug. There was nothing awkward about it. The feeling was more than comfortable. It was almost natural. “I’ll see you later,” he whispered before planting a small kiss on my forehead.

I watched him walk away a moment before I headed back inside. While in deep thought, I climbed into bed and began to drift into a peaceful, restful sleep.

I was wearing a simple white strapless dress that flowed long behind me. My brother was next to me in a freshly pressed tux. With the bouquet in my right hand, I linked my left arm through Johnny’s right. My hands were shaking. I was nervous, excited. The two large doors opened, the song started, and Johnny urged me to walk forward with him. I felt frozen, but took a few steps through the door. Everybody’s eyes were on me, and at the end of the aisle, I saw my husband-to-be. The next moments were a blur, and suddenly he was standing in front of me, the pastor standing between us, holding the simple vows for us to exchange. Agreed upon by us after I heard the song just a few days before and was inspired

“Do you take this man to death for the rest of your unnatural life?”

“Yes, I do,” I said.

“Do you take this woman to death for the rest of your unnatural life?”

“I do,” he said.

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”

We both leaned in close to each other, our lips meeting to share our first kiss as husband and wife after choosing the wedding to be quick, simple, and traditional. It seemed slightly morbid, but everyone thought it was a great idea. With my new husband, we headed to the reception where we danced and partied the night away. I couldn’t believe what was going on. It was my wedding night. I had just gotten married. While the night felt complete, there was still something, or rather someone, missing. I snuck away from the crowds and stepped outside into the warm summer air. I saw the two limo drivers, and approached them.

“Can one of you guys take me to Huntington Cemetery?” I asked.

One of them nodded, and within the next minute, we were off. At the cemetery, not even caring if I was in my wedding dress, I walked to Jimmy’s grave, kneeling over it.

“Well, if you’re watching over us, you know what happened tonight. It was breathtaking, but it was missing just one thing. You. I wish you could’ve been here to see the happiest moment of my life. Well one of the happiest. I can’t forget about the memories I’ve had with you. I hope you agree with the decision I made, because I think it’s the right one, and so does everybody else. Well almost everyone. I know they’re all happy for us, but I know that one of the guys is still bothered. I can’t please everybody as much as I want to, but as long as I can please my new husband, I’ll be fine. I still think about you everyday and still miss you the same. Having you here is the one thing that I needed to make this night just absolutely perfect.”

I remained there for a moment, trying to hold back my tears. Like clockwork, I composed myself and was about to head back when someone called my name behind me. I turned and saw Brian standing there.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m glad that you’re happy now,” he said. “I think you made the right choice.”

I smiled and went to hug him. “Thanks, Bri.”

His arms wrapped around me in a solid embrace, and at this moment, everything had felt complete.