Guiding Lights

No matter how many times I told myself that I wanted things to slow down it would be almost unbelievable when they did. I wasn’t used to having quiet time anymore, time where I could just sit down and do some homework, watch something ridiculous on TV, and just relax. Nick wasn’t used to it, either.

But, then again, he didn’t have as much quiet time as me.

Nick had the village to take care. It wasn’t as much of my responsibility - partly because the only relation I had to any wolves were through Nick, and that I was a witch that wasn’t on the council. After Nick had stopped by yesterday and finished helping me with my homework we decided to watch a movie, just hang out. I made popcorn, I threw some at him, he pinned me to the couch; it was pretty normal. But around three, after my dad came home, he decided to split because he had to take care of some stuff. Not only was he going to patrol the village tonight, this time with Russell, but he also had to arm Sean with knowledge. Nick trusted him, so I had to trust his instincts.

Mine weren’t so good, anyway.

But down time was good.

Dad was downstairs, making us dinner, which was pretty unusual. Since everything started up we hadn’t had a real sit-down meal, but I was kind of looking forward to it. He said he didn’t need my help in the kitchen, which was most likely a lie considering neither of us were too good with food. So I decided to stay in my room and do something I haven’t done in a while: draw. For some reason I had this weird inspiration and it came almost out of nowhere. I didn’t know what I was drawing at first, only keeping my attention on the way my hand almost forced the pencil to move, but when the hour passed I noticed a familiar outline. It was a wolf. Not the same wolf I drew, as in the Nick-wolf, but a different one; a smaller one.’

I set down the notebook and the pencil, rolling off of my bed. It was still cold out, still snowing, so instead of shorts I had on actual pajama pants, which shocked my dad. And I had stolen another sweatshirt from Nick. I’d have to give it back though because he didn’t have many clothes after moving around so much, or I’d keep it and buy him a new one. Either way, I was pretty warm.

Dad was yelling for me to come down stairs before I was even out my door, and I sort of had to laugh. He had been a lot happier lately and though part of me didn’t want to believe it, I knew it was because of Eve. She reminded me so much of my mom sometimes, but she was so completely different at the same time. She cared about me and Nick, and she cared about my dad; he made her happy, too. It was almost as if she had forgotten about Coimbra abandoning her because her and my dad were so close now. I didn’t know if they shared romantic feelings, or if maybe they were just good friends, but my happiness for them was greater than the slight upset I had. I didn’t want him to forget mom. I didn’t want to forget her.

I slid over the kitchen floor in my socks, but ended up gripping onto the table so I didn’t fall over. I wasn’t clumsy - just occasionally uncoordinated. But luckily Dad was too busy piling on the saucy noodles to notice. I pushed back my bangs and smiled when he did turn around, eyeing the food on the plate while my stomach growled.

“I don’t understand how you’re so hungry when you snack all day,” he chuckled while he handed me the plate. I dropped my jaw playfully.

“Hey! I do not snack all day!” I defended, but maybe he was a little right. “How else do you expect me to focus on boring school work?” He shook his head and grabbed his own plate, taking the seat across from me as I plopped my own self down.

“Maybe you shouldn’t work so much on school work,” he said before taking a bite, looking up at me from the top of his glasses. Nick didn’t want me to work so hard, either. “Maybe you should… get out. Have some teenage fun?” His tone was questioning and it made me laugh. “Wait, on second thought, don’t do that.” He shook his head and shoved some more food into his mouth, making me laugh a little harder.

Poor awkward father.

“Dad, don’t worry. I’m focusing on school work and whatever I have to do as the Great Witch.” Now there’s something you don’t hear every day.

He gave me a quick nod and I finally took my first bite of food, almost surprised at how good it was. We sat there for a moment and allowed the silence to take over. It was a little bit awkward, especially since my dad and I weren’t as close as we used to be, but there was nothing really uncomfortable about it. I kept my eyes either on him or my food when I took the next few bites, both of us eating slowly. It was one of those weird moments that you didn’t want to end - like I was bonding with him by eating.

“Hey, um, Dad?” I wondered slowly. I caught him glance up while he took a sip of the leftover coffee before I glanced down at my plate, poking at the pasta with my fork. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, kiddo,” he said softly without hesitation.

I sighed and dropped my fork onto the plate, resting my elbow on the table so it could support my head.

“When you and mom got married…” I trailed off for a moment and bit my lip, wondering what exactly it was that I wanted to say. I know I had brought him and mom up countless times before, but I was always so curious; I wanted to know what to expect with Nick. “Was it different from me and Nick?”

It seemed like he stared at me for years, not moving a muscle or speaking, not even sighing. I wondered if my question had hurt him somehow. Did bringing mom up make him sad now? I kept glancing between him and the food that was getting cold, waiting for him to say something. But then, finally, he gave me sort of a smile.

“Wow,” he sighed. I watched him lean back in his chair and bring his hand up to push his glasses higher, moving it up to push back his hair. “Well, you know your mom and I were just a couple years older than you and Nick. It was different in the sense that I didn’t know there was another world. I didn’t know about all this mythical and magical stuff, but I think that she kept it from me for my own good. I wouldn’t have known what to do then.”

I picked up my fork and nodded, keeping my eyes on him while I pushed the food around the plate. I wanted to hear whatever he had to say.

“And we were young, too…” He shook his head as if he were remembering something, his eyes darting to the ceiling while he continued to speak quietly. “We didn’t have you right away. It was a couple years later, and I’ve told you before that I didn’t really understand why she wanted a baby all of a sudden. I mean… she had this look in her eyes, like she was so excited to bring this new life into the world -” He smiled at me as he spoke now, his eyes holding the love of a father that I hadn’t seen much lately. I missed it. “And I wanted whatever she did; she made me happy.” He sighed then, an almost-laugh falling from his mouth. “Oh, Lonnie. She made me so happy, your mom did. She was such a beautiful person, inside and out, and it always made me question why she would want someone like me. I was nobody, but I was so special to her, and she was my everything. I wanted to make her happy in any way I could, and that’s what brought you here… my special little girl.”

My cheeks turned red, I was sure, and I couldn’t rid myself of the smile before I looked down. My dad - such a sweet man. It wasn’t hard to understand why my mom could love him so much even if they weren’t soul mates. He was normal, like me, and maybe a little nerdy… like me. And mom was beautiful, as was Nick; it gave me hope that we really were as happy as we had been, just like my mom and dad.

“You’re just like her, you know that?” he questioned suddenly, and it definitely got my attention. I looked up at him with wide eyes, my hand immediately moving so I could brush my fingertips against the familiar orb necklace. “Nick’s a lucky man.”

“Dad,” I whined, but the smile never faded. And he was smiling, too.

“Everything changes so fast, though.” I glanced back up at him with furrowed eyebrows just in time to see him look down, his smile, along with mine, disappearing. “I lost her,” he whispered, but it seemed like it was more for himself even though it hurt me, too. “I lost her, then you grew up… and became a Great Witch, and fell in love, and now you’re married at sixteen.” He paused for a moment, something flashing in his eyes almost.

“Can you believe it?’ he chuckled. “You’re actually married. See? It doesn’t even seem like it.”

I nodded at his words with a tight-lipped smile, not wanting him to see my disappointment. I wanted it to seem like Nick and I were married. I wanted it to feel that way. It suddenly made me wonder if he thought of us as more than a couple now, or if we were just the same old Nick and Lonnie.

“Back to your question,” he said after a moment, and I looked back up at him with full interest. “Me and your mom, and you and Nick… it’s not so different. I see the love you two have for each other and it reminds me that what Rose and I had was real, that I didn’t just make it up. I love you, Lonnie,” he breathed, setting his hand on top of mine. “You’re my daughter and I want what’s best for you, and I know that’s Nick. Your mom would be happy.”

“Thanks, dad.” My voice was a whisper laced with emotions, but the smile was back and I was tempted to lean across the table to hug him. I squeezed his hand instead.

“Well,” he breathed, pressing his hands together, “you should eat now. It’s probably already cold.”

I nodded obediently and dug into my food, happy that it was still slightly warm. Having talks with my dad was something that I was so thankful for. He was so understanding about everything; I couldn’t ask for anything better. I also didn’t want to bother him with more talk, so I continued eating with him in a silence.

There was a sudden knock on the door and I immediately started to scoot back, chewing the food in my mouth. I heard my dad chuckle and tell me to keep eating while he got up instead, patting back on the way to the door. I didn’t complain - I was hungry. But as soon as I swallowed and went for another bite I stopped, listening for who was at the door.

“Nick, you have a key,” my dad laughed again, and I instantly shot up.

“I know, but I don’t want to walk right in…” His soft voice got louder when I got closer, turning until he came into view. He glanced up from the doorway, his curls holding a few flakes of snow, and he smiled at practically the same time as me. “I could interrupt something,” he proceeded, his shining eyes holding mine for another second before they drifted back to my dad. “Like I am right now, probably.”

“We were just having something to eat,” he said before I could. “Come on in. There’s plenty.”

Nick was about to protest but I raised my eyebrows when he glanced back over at me, smiling a little wider at just the sight of him.

“And hurry up,” I grinned. “You’re letting all the cold air in.” He immediately stepped forward then and shut the door behind him, his eyes trailing over me with a semi-smirk.

“How can you be cold? You’re wearing my sweatshirt.” I almost felt bad because the one he was wearing looked a little more worn. He should be wearing a jacket out there!

“Well…” I scoffed, but I was unable to come up with any sort of excuse, causing his smirk to widen enough to show off those dimple-like creases around his mouth. The urge to tell him he was beautiful was there, but I refrained. I held my hand out for him instead, immediately warming when he placed his hand in mine. It was a little cold, but I could still feel the familiar tingles, and I gripped it a little tighter in hopes to get him warmer.

I pulled him closer when we started back toward the kitchen, looping my arm with his while reconnecting our hands. He felt so cuddly all of a sudden, and he smelled so good. It was hard not to just push him onto the couch so I could cuddle up to him, which I knew he loved now… even when he denied it.

“What brings the Great Wolf here?” I whispered jokingly, pressing my head against his shoulder while we walked. I had slowed our pace down, practically stopping us before we could enter the kitchen.

“I was around,” he whispered back, turning only slightly to look down at me with amused eyes.

“Around?” I moved a little to see his now almost serious face, dropping my expression. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he reassured me with sincere eyes and a tone that was both calm and comforting. I still held my breath. “We weren’t patrolling or anything, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to make sure.”

“Make sure what?”

“That you were safe,” he responded almost instantly, and I knew the protective side of him would never rest. I smiled a little.

“You know…” I started lowly, pushing him back a little so my dad wouldn’t see if he craned his neck, “If you stayed then you wouldn’t have to worry about me…”

“I always worry about you,” he murmured. I knew he was ignoring my attempt at flirting on purpose. What a fail.

I sighed and leaned closer, wrapping my arms around his neck while I leaned into him and arched myself a little higher so I would just have to tilt my head up to reach his lips. He stayed staring at me, his eyes dancing between mine, and I was mesmerized.

“I get cold at night, you know…” I whispered again. He quirked an eyebrow.

“Do you?” I nodded. “That’s what blankets are for.”

I slouched my shoulders and gave him my best ‘come on’ look, earning a gentle laugh out of him.

“Lonnie, I know I haven’t spent a lot of time with you lately, but you know I want to.” My eyes fluttered closed when his thumb brushed high against my cheek, making me sigh.

“Then you should stay the night.” I gradually opened my eyes when he stopped the movement of his thumb against my skin, staring up at him with my best pleading look. And if that didn’t work, well… I was prepared to use my powers of persuasion. Literally.

“Lonnie…” he started hesitantly. His eyes flickered toward the kitchen entryway, then back down to me; I instantly giggled.

“We won’t do anything!” He pressed his lips together and turned his head up toward the ceiling, doing this thing where he blinks in a dramatic way - it only made me laugh more. “Well, that’s what you were assuming, isn’t it?”

“I wasn’t assuming,” he said clearly, hesitating to look back down at me. His cheeks were tinted pink. “I was thinking that you would eventually do what you always do.”

“And what do I always do?” I tried to stop giggling, but it was hard. I wrapped my arms tighter around him and pressed my face into his neck, humming when his hand pressed against the small of my back.

“Nothing, Lonnie,” he sighed again. I hugged him tighter.

“What do I do?” I insisted. I felt him press his lips to my head, his nose buried into my hair, and I closed my eyes.

“You’re so difficult; you realize that, don’t you?” His voice was muffled against my head, but I understood him fully.

“I’m just curious…”

I could feel him open his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by my dad telling us that the food would get even colder if we didn’t come in now. Just another excuse for Nick not to answer. He slid his hand off me and used it to help pull me away from him, grabbing my hand instead. He led us into the kitchen with me practically dragging my feet, politely thanking my dad for allowing him to stay. He gave me a smile and said it was no problem, telling us that he’d be watching TV now that he was finished.

I sat back down to my plate and Nick sat next to me, both of us staying silent when the TV flicked on to a low volume. I was tempted to scoot my chair closer to Nick’s but I was too hungry, focusing on the cold food now; it still tasted good.

I wanted so badly to bother Nick about staying, but we were in a comfortable silence with only the low murmurs of whatever show my dad was watching, and I didn’t want to disturb Nick’s thoughtful face while he ate. He’d glance at me occasionally, raising his eyebrows when I made a funny face at him, and then he’d try not to laugh. It was too adorable.

“You know what I think?” I said after a moment of chewing. I scraped up the rest of what was on my plate slowly, waiting for his reply.

“What’s that?”

I glanced up at him when he quirked his eyebrow, keeping a straight face. “I think you should spend the night.” I could see the smile twitching at his lips but he stayed composed and shook his head instead.

“I can’t just stay over.”

“Sure you can!” I practically yelled, throwing my hands up. He knew it’s what happened when I got excited. “You just follow me up to my room and fall asleep.”

“Lonnie, if you haven’t noticed, this is not my house.”

I took in his words and tilted my head, eyeing his now skeptical look. This wasn’t his house, but it should be. I felt myself wanting to smile at the thought. Wasn’t it about time that we started acting like we were married? We had to start somewhere…

“Lonnie…” he said warily, turning his head away from me, though his eyes still stayed on me from the side; he was giving me his suspicious look.

“Hmm?” I hummed, but he didn’t buy my innocence.

“What are you thinking?”

“I can’t just -” he started, but I quickly interrupted him.

“Dad!” I practically yelled, staring into Nick’s widening eyes. I heard the TV become muted and just before I twisted around in my chair I watched Nick’s cheeks tint while he quickly hung his head down. “Can Nick stay the night?” I asked once my eyes met my dad’s, smiling hopefully. I watched him glance at Nick, who still wouldn’t look up, and then back over to me. There was almost no hesitation in his voice when he answered.

“Sure.”

Even if he had a problem with it I knew there wasn’t much he could do. Nick and I were married.

“Thanks, dad,” I said with probably a little too much excitement for his liking, but he nodded and turned the sound back on, focusing on the screen.

I turned back to face a glaring Nick, his full lips set in a fine line. I only continued to smile.

“What?” I chirped. I stood then and grabbed my plate, grabbing his own empty one, and made my way over to the sink. I could feel his eyes burning into my back but I stopped myself from glancing back at him, rinsing the dishes off instead.

“You can’t just do that, you know.”

“Sure I can,” I shrugged. “Why couldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” he breathed out lazily, obviously not wanting to argue over something he wanted too. That and he was probably tired.

“You need to sleep.” I turned around and clasped my hands against the counter, leaning back into it. He turned his body just enough to look at me while he slouched in the chair, his innocent look doing more than just tugging at my heart. “And I miss you, so it’s a win-win.”

“I miss you, too,” he said softly, his smile gentle and beautiful. It made me feel giddy again.

He made me feel giddy a lot, even if giddy was a funny weird.

I pushed myself away from the counter and stepped closer to him. My arms wrapped around his neck and I leaned down, pressing my forehead against his. I still hadn’t kissed him yet and it was killing me, especially with the way he was looking at me, but I controlled myself. It was shocking.

“You can go take a shower. I’m pretty sure I have some of your clothes in my room somewhere…”

“You mean somewhere buried in that mess?” he mumbled, grazing his nose over mine. It wasn’t really an Eskimo kiss, but it felt like it and it made me blush a little.

“I cleaned it up a little,” I defended. It was true; I had straightened it up quite a bit. “And your stuff is probably in my second drawer.”

“You want me to get it?” He raised his eyebrows at me and pulled back some, a slight look of shock forming over his features. I laughed.

“Why not? You’ve seen my clothes before.”

“I don’t want to go through your things,” he said. I shook my head.

“It’s not like I put my underwear and stuff in that drawer.” The tint in his cheeks was back. “Don’t worry about it.” He sighed and pressed his lips to my cheek, leaving a lingering kiss before gently pulling my arms away so he could stand. “I’ll be up in a minute.” He gave me a nod and began to retreat, giving my dad another thanks before he disappeared up the stairs. I bit my lip.

How do you go about asking your dad if you can move in with your husband?

That’s a weird scenario. Not just because I’m asking my dad, but because I’m married and I’m asking my dad.

I used my fingers to push the hair out of my face, shoving my hand into my pocket before I trudged into the living room. He was looking at the newspaper now, leaving the TV on some old movie. He had to work in the morning so I knew he’d be going to bed soon; it was the perfect time to bring it up.

“Hey, dad…” I started again, just like earlier. He glanced away from the newspaper to look at me curiously, waiting for me to continue. “Umm, what do you think about me and Nick… maybe getting our own place?” I held my lips tightly together while he just stared at me, slowly putting his newspaper down to scratch at his neck. He took a deep breath and squinted at the TV through his glances while he more than likely thought, knowing I wanted the answer now.

“I don’t know… is that what you’re thinking about?”

“Sort of,” I shrugged. I took a step closer to him, lingering by the coffee table. “I didn’t bring it up to Nick yet, though.”

“Oh.” He glanced back at the TV and just sat there, fidgeting with his hands absently. I knew this had to be hard for him. Not only did I just get married, but now I wanted to move out. “Well, I knew this would come sometime, but I really didn’t think it would be this soon.”

“I know. But it wouldn’t be right now or tomorrow or anything. I just wanted to know what you thought before I brought it up to Nick…”

“You’re going to have to some time,” he nodded slowly. His eyes met mine and I saw some sort of acceptance in them, but he was still reluctant. “But, Lonnie, you’re only sixteen…”

“I know,” I cut in quickly, “but we’re married, and its hard being away from him all the time.”

“I knew this would come,” he sighed, but he nodded because he knew it really would have. “You know I don’t have anything against this, you wanting to move in with him, but it’s just another thing to add to the list.”

“List?” I questioned.

“I’m losing my baby more and more every day.”

I shook my head slowly and took the few steps closer to him, sitting down on the arm of the couch so I could lean my side against his shoulder.

“Dad, you aren’t losing me, okay? You’ve always been there for me; I don’t want to lose you. But you know that Nick and I are growing up, and we need a space of our own, somewhere where it can just be Nick and Lonnie. And I want Nick to have a home, you know? A real home. He hasn’t had one in a long time…”

He looked up at me as I spoke, the understanding and the knowing all through his eyes. He nodded at my words and agreed, but I can see that he still didn’t like the idea of me leaving.

“I know,” he whispered, and he took my hand in his. “I know, and he deserves to be in his own space with you. I know he isn’t comfortable being around here all the time when he wants to see you. Your mom and I wanted the same thing, but we were older… I never really even thought about how this could feel because I was already on my own before I met your mother. I never prepared myself for this.”

“I know, dad,” I laughed, giving his hand a squeeze. “And I know I’m only sixteen, but I don’t feel that way. I feel like I can do well with Nick, you know? Like I’m ready to actually be a woman.” I couldn’t even re-enact how pale my dad’s face was, and I almost burst out laughing.

But he agreed.

“You and Nick are ready for that, I can see it. You’re ready to be together, to start acting like you’re married. I understand that. I just… I don’t want to lose you.”

I never wanted to lose my dad. He was one of the only people I could count on, the other being Nick of course, and possibly Eve. But Dad was everything. I loved him and he had to know that I always would, no matter what.

“You won’t ever lose me,” I whispered. “I wouldn’t let myself and Nick wouldn’t let me, either.”

That got a smile out of him.

“Nick is a good kid,” he nodded, “and I know you two are just as happy as I was with your mom.”

Was he just as happy with Eve now, too? That would be another conversation for a different time. Right now, though, I was sure that Nick was out of the shower and that he owed me a kiss.

“Thanks, daddy.” I leaned down with a smile and pecked his cheek, standing myself up all the way so I could head up the stairs. “I’ll talk to Nick about it. I love you.”

“Love you too, kiddo. Night.”

I mumbled a goodnight and hurried up the stairs, taking care not to trip and stumble through the dark hallway on the way to my room. There was no light on in the bathroom so I assumed Nick was out and dressed, already in my room. I bounded through my bedroom door and he instantly looked up, the dim moonlight from the sky barely coming through the blinds at all. It was practically freezing in my room, most likely snowing outside, but now I had all the heat I needed. I smiled at him.

“Wolfie,” I greeted with a giggle. I swore I saw him roll his eyes, even in the dark.

“Witchie,” he greeted back, though his tone was more playfully stern.

“That’s actually kind of cute,” I commented while I made my way over to the bed, “Witchie and Wolfie.”

“Only to you, Lonnie,” he mumbled back.

I slid myself onto the bed and rested on my hands and knees, leaning forward enough so I could press a firm kiss to his lips. They were warm and soft, and he didn’t hesitate to kiss back. My glow sparked when he leaned forward and rested his hand on my thigh, pulling it until I was lying on my side but with my upper body still raised. I shut my eyes a little tighter and pressed deeper into the kiss, my heartbeat struggling to remain calm - and failing. He pressed his hands to my sides while I pressed one of mine to his chest, snaking the other up into his slightly damp curls. My fingers slid over his chest, the smooth fabric of his shirt being grazed.

“I see you found your clothes,” I breathed against his lips once he released some pressure off the kiss, but I only added to it once my sentence was finished. He pulled back again after a moment.

“Mhm.” I pressed another kiss to his lips and curled my fingers around his curls, but he still somehow managed to speak in breathy tone. “And you lied.”

“I did?” I was a little too dazed to really even think about what he was saying; my mouth was running for me.

“Yeah.” His lips moved a little longer against my own, his head tilting just enough so he capture my bottom lip between his own. My heart was racing even more when his hands slid up my sides. “Your stuff was with my clothes.”

“My stuff?” I pulled back from his lips, which proved to be extremely difficult, and immediately pressed them against his jaw. I gave his curls a tug, forcing his head back a little so I could trail my mouth down to his neck; I could feel him gulp against my lips. “What stuff?” was what I murmured against his skin.

“Your, umm, underwear stuff,” he clarified in a low husky tone. It sent a jolt of excitement through me. “I-I think you did it on purpose.” I felt him swallow when I pressed my smiling lips to his Adams apple, my fingers pressing against his stomach from underneath the shirt. I traced his scar delicately without a thought, but it didn’t bother me as much anymore, especially when I knew he was right there with me.

“Well, it wasn’t fully intentional…”

He managed to pull my head away from his neck and press his lips fully onto mine, his tongue sliding out across my lip teasingly. I slid my hand up from the scar to rest against his chest and pressed firmly against him, pushing him back. He pulled me down with him, holding me against his body while his lips worked against mine to send a heated feeling through me.

“I was right, too,” he almost panted. My head rolled back when his lips attached to my neck this time, and he wasted not a moment to start sucking on the skin. I gasped. “You always do that.”

“Do w-what?” It was hard to focus.

“You always do this to me…” He feathered his kisses up my skin until his mouth met mine again. I slid my legs between his and allowed myself to rest on him, pulling my fingers away from his curls to trace his features. The butterflies in my stomach were long since soaring, practically bouncing around sporadically now, mismatching with the thuds of my heart. I could feel his own irregular heartbeat under my hand, the warmth of his skin burning into me.

Somehow I remembered that I had to talk to him about something. I was tempted to let it escape my mind to see how far he would take this, but I found it to be important. He could sense what I was feeling and he began to slow down the kiss almost hesitantly, knowing that I wanted to say something. I let my lips linger against his when they did stop moving, our irregular breathing trying to even out while our chests rose and fell against each other.

“I love you,” I breathed against his lips, and I gave them one more quick kiss.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, and now his attention was on me as he held me to his chest, seeing my face thanks to my glow.

“I talked to my dad…” was what I decided to start off with, “about you and me.” I knew he was fully interested now. “Umm, about us maybe… possibly moving in together? You know, just you and me…” I bit my lip when whatever else I was going to say decided to escape my brain and instead waited for his response. I was met with silence. “He’s pretty much okay with it, you know? And it wouldn’t have to be right now… but soon. I thought that, since we’re married and our punishment is pretty much over and everything, it would be something we could seriously think about.”

“Is it… something you want?” he asked lowly, his tone almost wary. I nodded and even though I knew he could see, I decided to answer too.

“Yeah, it is. You know I want to be with you… all the time. And I think it’ll be special for us. I just wanted to know what you thought.”

Now was the hard part because I hardly ever - if ever at all - knew what Nick was thinking. But I studied his face anyway, smiling a little at the way his eyes looked so soft, like he was completely content right now. I knew I was.

“I, umm, I think it’s good.”

I was pretty sure that I was hearing things, but my excitement took me over before I could question him.

“This is so great!” I squealed, wiggling on top of him. He laughed lightly and gripped my hips to settle me. “I didn’t think you’d go for it that easily!”

“You wear me down,” he said with a smirk; I smacked his chest. “We’ll talk about it in the morning though, okay?” I nodded eagerly and gripped his face between my hands, planting a soft, slow kiss to his lips. But when I pulled back it was almost like I felt a stab of pain in me and that dizziness was back. I lifted myself up for a moment and shut my eyes tight, focusing on breathing like I had been practicing lately.

It definitely didn’t go unnoticed by Nick.

“Lonnie, are you okay?” he asked in a worried tone, immediately grasping my sides. I didn’t answer him right away and his voice became more stern. “Lonnie.”

“I’m fine,” I managed, slowly opening my eyes to see him. His eyes searched mine almost endlessly, trying to find something that neither of us knew. “Really, Nick. I’m fine.” My tone was softer and after another minute he seemed to accept my answer, only giving me another cautious once-over. I gave him a sincere bright smile, happy to have him here with me. “Now, let’s go to sleep.”

He gave me a nod and helped slide me off him, pulling the covers up and over me before I could even move. I pulled him down closer and immediately found my place at his side, curling up into him while he held onto me. There was nothing better than this.

“I love you, Lonnie,” he mumbled almost shyly against my hair. The butterflies were back - if they ever left.

“I love you, Nicholas.”

More than anything.