Baby Doll

I bit my lips harshly as I entered the suite. Fear formed a lump in my throat as memories of past beatings swirled in my throbbing head. I nervously ran my thumbs over the sleeves of Jason’s Nine inch nails hoodie.
“Matt?” I called had shut and locked the door behind me. The suite was tomb like. There wasn’t one light on and it was deathly silent. I reached into the pocket of my hoodie and used my phone as a flashlight. It reminded me of the Silent Hill Shattered Memories a game I played with Anna. You basically ran around a deserted town waiting for something to pop out at you as you searched for your daughter. Each time I played it or more correctly sat with my knees to my chest watching through my fingers as Anna played my heart would thud in my chest as I waited for a monster to pop out and kill the character on the screen. The soft white light offered little comfort as I tip toed through the suite. As I passed by the bar I crunched on something and I gasped loudly jumping back. After a second of realizing it wasn’t a trap set by Matt. I hurried over the stuff on the floor and flipped on the light. I glanced at the floor first and saw bottles lying shattered on the floor, sparkling like diamonds in the light. I looked up and around and gasped again. Matt had gone berserk. Every bottle of alcohol was shattered along with dishes and almost everything glass in the bar, kitchen and dining area. Scratches and various liquids marred the walls he’d thrown them at and the floor was covered in lethal looking glass shards. It even looked like he’d punched the walls in some places. I walked carefully across the floor until I reached a spot he’d punched. It had blood on it making sense since it would have taken a miracle for that not to happen. My hand went to my throat and I fingered the necklace around my neck. I never took it off except to sleep and shower. It had become the only thing that calmed me and I squeezed it tightly.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Snapped a familiar voice in a groggy term. I turned my hands dropping from the necklace around my neck. Kim from the club stood there wearing one of my silk robes. I was short standing at 5”2 and Kim was 6”1 making the robe barley cover her crouch and I was sure the back view was a nice peep show. Her hair was disheveled and she looked a little hangover. She also looked kind of worn out in an old looking way.
“This is my place what are you doing here?” I asked even through I already knew. Matt had slept with her hopefully not in our bed. She flicked her hair from her face and smiled.
“Well I was doing Matt last night and I don’t think he wants you anymore.” I stared hard at her as something that felt dangerously close to anger lapped at my mind. I walked over to her the pushed her aside.
‘Are you leaving? Thank god. I thought I’d have to break a nail to do that.” I ignored her as I went up to the second floor that housed a poll table and a few armchairs. I glanced over the side to see Kim scurrying after me. I rolled my eyes as I walked over to a armchair in the corner and dropped to my knees behind it. I ran my nails down the back side clenching my jaw as a jeering pain slammed through my head. My migraine was really starting to hurt. My nails caught in something and I scathed at it until I found the stitched up seam. I pulled on the thread and the armchairs back split. I ripped it open more then reached inside and fiddled around till I came up with a freezer storage bag. I pulled it out reveling it was stuffed money. Since Matt bought me everything except for a few things I had thousands of dollars I’d saved up from working at Oh La La.
“What are you doing?’ Kim sneered and I kept ignoring her as I stood up. I attempted to walk past her and she pushed me back hard. I fell onto the ground and she followed her push by kicking me in my face. More pain exploded in my skull making dots waltz across my vision. Kim kicked me again this time in the ribs and I rolled away but then she fell on top of me and started beating me to a pulp. A metallic taste spread across my palette as she smashed her fist into my face and throat. I held up my arm as a weak attempt to cover my face but she started using her nails to rip at my skin.
“Matt’s mine you bitch! Do you understand me! I don’t see what he ever saw in you. You’re a little girl who can’t handle a man like him!” she yelled as my eyes rolled into the back of my head as I started to go unconscious. Suddenly the pain on top of me disappeared and my eyes snap back into place. Matt was slapping Kim hard across the face as she thrashed in his arms. His skin was tinted pink as he yelled at her.
Finally he dragged her downstairs and after a few minutes I heard the door slam shut. I tried to stumble to my feet but it didn’t work. I fell and lay there on the carpet splattered with my blood. I was practically choking on the smell of copper. I had to get out though. I tried to stand again but Matt appeared beside me and scooped me into his arm. He laid me on the pool table as he whispered soothing wards. He pressed a wet towel to my face cleaning away the blood. I was breathing raggedly as his hands away. I slid onto the floor and stood shakily on my feet. The after shock was wearing off and I was able to stand back up after I grabbed the money.
“Baby Doll please lay down.” Matt pleaded but I pushed him away.
“No. . .Matt I’m leaving. I ‘ll be back for my clothes later.” I said. I headed toward the steps. Matt grabbed me and yanked me against his chest so my back was against his chest.
“Your not leaving.” He said coldly and I struggled in his gasp.
“I’m going Matt you just slept with another women in our home again.”
“Baby Doll that was the first-“
“You’ve been screwing her for three years Matt along with other women just like her." I spat and he tightened his grip on my waist.
“I’m sorry it’s just-”
“You got tired of having to pin a girl down and avoiding her kicks and punches as you raped her, Understand Matt.” I said succeeding in getting away from him. I whirled around. His sea green eyes seemed so conflicted as he stared at me.
“I’m done Matthew. I’m not you doll anymore. You say you love me but Love and lust are two different things. Love starts as Lust and changes into just wanting to see that person. Wanting to bask in their smile. I barely feel like a person anymore! I just feel like your perfect little sex toy that doubled as a punching bag to cover up your insecurities. So bye Matthew Sykes have a nice life and it will be a cold day in hell before I see you again.” I said calmly at some points yelling at others. I turned once again to leave but Matt smashed me against the wall.
“Your. Not. Leaving. Me.” I grabbed his hands and put them on my throat.
“Then kill me Matt because I would rather be dead then your doll keep my body if you want but you won’t have me.” I said as tears ripped anger burning tears down my cheeks like liquid fire and acid. Matt pressed his thumbs into my wind pipe quickly cutting off my air. As he squeezed tighter I had a fleeting thought to yell at him to stop beg for forgiveness anything just to get a taste of precious oxygen. Instead I gagged quietly as he lifted me from the ground by my throat. I instinctively gripped onto his hands to try and breath. He kept squeezing until my eyes slipped closed and my body started falling asleep, it felt as if millions of cactus needles where being pushed into every part of my body as if I was a giant pin cushion. Matt stared into my heavily lidded eyes tears falling out of his own storming sea green oceans. He let me go I choked and gasped for air as my body slammed painfully into the ground. Painfully was too soft a word. My body felt like it had been dragged through hell then brought back. I didn’t even know of I was crying or if my eyes where watering anymore. Through the thick fog of my pain I heard what sounded like duct tape being ripped from a surface. I didn’t look up as I crawled toward the stairs. I heard the pin being drawn back in a gun and I jerked my head back toward Matt. I barley had time to scream as the gun went off leaving a ringing in my ears and gunpowder to mingle with the smell of blood in the air. I went sailing down the stairs, my head hitting each step with a numbing pain as I was finally dragged under the inky black tar like ocean of pain I’d been treading in.