Baby Doll

I pulled more stuff out of the tub that had been in my closet. When I moved it had been used for all my kitchen stuff. After I unpacked it had appeared in my closet. I had thought Ja-. I squeezed my eyes shut and dug my nails into my palms. I bit my lip and pushed down the nausea. I couldn’t so I sprinted to the bathroom. Once I was there I lost it throwing up the crackers I’d forced myself to eat. I’d been in this position off an on for the last couple of hours. Ever since Jason had left actually. Ever since he’d ripped my heart apart.

I started crying again and pulled my legs to my chest. I sobbed as I leaned against the bathtub. What had I done wrong? Yes we fought, yes he’d pinned me down and that had dredged up bad memories but I loved him. With just eight words he’d ruined me again. Maybe Matt was right, maybe Matt was the only one who’d ever love me.

Jason couldn’t have. He must have been in love with Desiree. Or at least her body, Why did everyone love her? She was dating Romeo Valentino, one of Las Vegas’s most eligible bachelors. I was just cute little Stephanie. I wiped my eyes when I heard my phone ringing. I debated answering it but when I heard Anna’s ringtone I knew I had no choice. I quickly washed my mouth out as the phone rang again. I went back into my bedroom and scooped up my phone.

“Hello.” I said cringing when my voice cracked.
“What wrong Stephanie?” Anna asked. I sat down beside the tub filled with stuff. I started going through it again as I talked to Anna.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing makes you cry?” How did she always know?
“I was just thinking about Matt.”
“No wonder Jason seems so down. I was leaving just as he came back from his lunch break. ” I gripped the phone tightly. He had no fucking right to be upset. Who had broken up with who here?
“Shouldn’t you be in work too?” Anna asked.
“I don’t feel well.” I said.
“Did you want me to come over?”
“No.” I said pulling a mini dress from the box. It was halter that zipped up the middle.. The dress was grey and black and reminded me of a top Anna owned. Which said something.

Anna had a seductive, sassy or “I can kick your ass looks”. I dressed in a more innocent flirty style. This dress would reach the middle pf my thighs. I typically didn’t like anything that didn’t reach my knees. It was a personal preference aided by the fact Matt never pet me pick out my own stuff. I mean he did but if he didn’t like it was vetoed. Jason had let me do whatever I wanted. I cleared my throat when. I felt another crying jag coming on.

“Hey Anna I’m going to go warm up some soup. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Of course just don’t burn down your place down.” I laugh as a tear slid down my cheek.
‘Thanks Anna. I needed that.”
“You are welcome sweet cakes.” I hung up then was about to put my phone down when it rang again. I answered it without looking at the caller Id.

“Anna I promise I’m okay. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“No Stephanie its Jason.” My breath caught in my throat.
" I was wondering if you where coming into work today or if-" I immediately pulled the phone from my ear and pressed end. Then I turned my phone off and tossed it in the direction of my bed.
“I can not believe that bastard ” I sniffed wiping my eyes for the hundredth time.
“Jason you. . . you . . . you fucking . . . you fucking asshole!” I yelled. Once the words where out I giggled. Great I’d moved on to my favorite stage of my grieving process. The point where everything was funny right before I passed out from exhaustion. I picked myself up so I could at least pass out on my bed. I nestled myself against the pillows and let my eyes slip closed. Seconds later I was out. I woke up a little a few hours later when I felt my bed go down. Seconds later arms pulled me closer to their body.
"It's going to be okay.' A voice whispered as they stroked my hair. I realized I'd been crying in my sleep and I closed my eyes . Pushing away thoughts of Jason i held on tightly to whoever was holding me and slipped back into sleep.