Let Me Know

Dinner that night was awkward, to put it lightly. My mom cooked my favorite dinner, chicken parmesan, that night, so I felt even more guilty and ashamed. I should be eating bread crumbs and leftover food in the dumpsters, not this feast. Maybe she knows. My mom has always had a sixth sense for trouble. She found out, and so as a loving yet furious parent she decided to give me one last taste of heaven before she sends me there.

“Are you okay, Aubrey?” She asked

This is it. I should start saying my prayers now, “Yeah, why?”

“You’ve barely touched your food. You’re not sick are you?”

I looked down and noticed that I had been absentmindedly moving my food around the plate. I wouldn’t exactly call it sick... “Yeah, mom, I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

“Well iph ‘ou don’t wanf it I’ll eat if,” Matt interjected while continuing to stuff his already full mouth.

I gave him a disgusted look, but it was my father who scolded him. Normally I enjoy it when the twins get yelled at. When they get in trouble at school, which happens quite often, I’m usually the first one home to watch the outburst. Today, however, I could care less.

“We’re going to Grandma Hughes’s house on Christmas Eve, correct?” my brother Blake asked, and I smiled. Blake had just gotten home from college, and I did miss him. He was definitely in the running for my favorite brother and probably one of the most normal out of all of us.

“No, we’re going to Canada. Yes, of course we’re going to Nana Hughes’s on Christmas eve. We’ve been going there every year since we were conceived, why would it change now?” Matt replied.

“I don’t know, Matt, maybe grandma decided to take a vacation this year or something. No need to be so sarcastic about everything.”

“You’re the one who asked the dumb question.”

“Well you-“

“Alright boys, that’s enough!” My father finally interjected, and the two of them put their heads down as they mumbled apologies. Rule number one is that dad always wins.

“When do Aaron and Todd come home?” I asked meekly after a moment of silence. Aaron and Todd were my other twin brothers who lived out in California. Both of them are great chefs, and after getting their degrees moved out to the west coast to start their own business.

“They’ll be home the twenty-second through the twenty-ninth,” My mother replied as she smiled softly at me.

“They’re not staying for the new year?” Matt asked.

Blake grunted, “Why would you stay in this town for new years when you can go party in Los Angeles?”

“True” The twins said in unison.

Dinner went on as everyone continued in their small talk, but I wasn’t paying any attention. As a picked up my fork and took a bite, I began to wonder about the child that was growing inside me. Would it like the same foods that I like, or will it take after my father and prefer weird things like octopus or liver. What about its father? I knew nothing about Ainen except for what my parents had told me, much less what he liked to eat.

Finally, as dinner died down and everyone had finished eating, I excused myself and went upstairs to my room

_________________________________________

The next week seemed to go by very slowly. Every day I spent my time locked in my room in misery. My parents didn’t suspect too much because I was used to hibernating with my books all winter. I was more afraid that if I were to go out and socialize with anybody they’d figure that something was wrong.

Truth is, I had gone into a slump ever since I found out I was with child. I felt as though my life was going to end. Either my parents were going to end it or it would self-destruct by itself. No one wants to around be around the pregnant teenage; it’s like a curse to them.

I wasn’t until the day before Christmas Eve that I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. I sat up, confused as to what was going on before I felt the nausea sweep over me. I rushed myself to the bathroom and hugged the toilet as yesterday’s dinner came back up.

Morning sickness was worse than I could have ever imagined.

Thankfully no one heard me. Mom and dad were at work, and the boys could sleep through an aerial bombing without blinking an eye. So after I was sure my insides were done torturing me, I crept back into my room. I lay back down on my bed, but there was no way I could fall back asleep. My stomach was still a bit queasy, and there were a million thoughts running through my mind. If I’m going to be throwing up every morning, my parents are bound to figure out that something’s wrong.

I idly ran my hands over my stomach. I couldn’t tell that there was something growing in there, but I certainly didn’t want to eat. What did I have for dinner last night? Pancakes and eggs. Maybe it’s just that it doesn’t like them. I frowned. I love pancakes. Chocolate ones, Strawberry ones, those topped with whip cream. Screw this baby, it’ll have to learn to live with it.

I wasn’t lying there long before my cell phone rang. I picked it up and read the name Chloe blinking on the screen.

“Hello?” I answered groggily.

“Were you sleeping?” She responded cheerily. This girl was way to chipper for a winter 9 am.

“No, unfortunately.”

“Oh good. What are you doing in about an hour?”

“I don’t know, Chlo. I might be eating a waffle or taking a piss. Would you like me to check my schedule?”

“I really hate your sarcasm sometimes. But anyway, do you want to come shopping with me? I still have absolutely no idea what I’m getting for Olivia. That girl is impossible to shop for. Plus…there’s something I have to tell you.”

I paused for a moment. Chloe never tells me that we need to talk. She usually just comes right out and says it, “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s perfect. I’ll pick you up around 10, so be ready.”

I groaned loudly as u hung up the phone. Morning sickness sounded like the better option right now.

Five hours later, the two of us were still walking around the mall. It was the first time that I had been out in public since I got the news of my teenage motherhood, and it felt like all eyes were on me. I knew that no one could tell that I was pregnant; I wasn’t sporting any signs of a baby bump at all. It was just like everyone had a sixth sense, and as they passed by they were thinking, ‘that girl looks like one a teenage who would sleep with a random guy at a party and get knocked up because of it’.

Everyone except for Chloe, that is.

“I’m going to rip my hair out,” She groaned loudly, and I looked down as everyone’s attention turned towards us. “Why does it have to be my sister that is the one girl in America that isn’t pleased with a purse or jewelry?”

“Why don’t you just get her that cardigan you were looking at earlier?”

“Because I don’t know if she’ll like it! I mean yes, she likes to wear them, but what if this one is particularly revolting to her? Or what if she has one exactly like that one?”

“That’s what gift receipts are for, Chlo. It’s the thought that counts.”

“But then she’ll think that I’m a terrible sister because I don’t know her style and she’ll never speak to me again!”

“You think about these things way too much, Chloe. If you’re afraid of her disowning you because you got her something she doesn’t like, then get her a gift card to her favorite store. That way she can virtually choose her own gift.”

“Gift cards are so impersonal, though.”

I shrunk back and didn’t respond. I got all six of my brothers a gift card to their favorite store. It was way too hard to get them all something individually. Even though they’re all adults, they still fight over who got the best.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, we came across the food court. “Let’s take a minute to eat. I’m starving,” Chloe said, and I couldn’t agree more. I hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning in fear that it would cause me to get sick again. But now that food was I my line of vision I heard my stomach growl in anticipation.

As we sat down and ate our burgers, I continued to notice that something was wrong with Chloe. Usually she would talk animatedly, laughing and smiling. She liked to be the one that was telling you exactly what was going on in our teenage lives. Today, however, she just sat there and ate in a content peacefulness. There was an aura of happiness surrounding her, but it was unusual.

“So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” I finally asked.

Chloe put down her sandwich and looked at me with a huge grin on her face, “You are not going to believe what I’m about to tell you.”

This was the Chloe I knew, “Shoot.”

“I’m dating Waeden Sprenson!”

I tried to not let my face show why shock. Suddenly I felt extremely nauseous, and it wasn’t because of morning sickness.

“Really? That’s…great, Chlo,” I attempted to reply earnestly, but my smile was forced.

“I know, it’s totally random, that’s what I thought too. But we started talking after Thanksgiving break, and he took me out the day we got out of school and asked me out! We’ve been kinda together for a week now, but we decided to keep it quiet until we were sure Brandon was okay with everything. I just wanted to let you know before the holidays.”

“The holidays?”

“He’s coming to Christmas!” Chlo nearly squealed, and I would have winced if it weren’t for the sickness that was growing in my stomach. “I know we’ve only been dating a week or whatever, but he’s not doing anything and I figure it’ll give the family a chance to get to know him when there will be too many witnesses to kill him. Plus, he knows Brandon and Michael and everything so he won’t be completely alone.”

“That’s awesome for you, Chloe,” I responded, but my mind was in a thousand other places. They had started talking right after he slept with me. He asked her out the same day I learned that I was carrying his spawn.

Was I a test drive for him? Try out the average cousin before going with the real thing? While I knew that I wasn’t exactly ugly, I knew that Chloe easily surpassed me. I was born with the Hughes plain brown hair and plain blue. Chloe inherited her light blonde hair from her mother, and even with her pink streak of rebellion, it looked stunning. Add her dark green eyes and flirty personality into the mix and she was every guys dream. It wasn’t a wonder that Waeden would chose her instead of me.

Now, however, I had to see him while he’s dating my cousin and pretend like I’m not carrying something that belongs to him. I was not ready to see Waeden so soon, and Christmas wasn’t exactly my ideal time. I had already decided that I was going to wait until after the holidays to tell my parents, so he could wait as well. If I ever told him at all.

“What’s wrong with you, Bre?” Chloe asked, taking me out of my thoughts. “You’ve seemed a little down lately. Is everything okay?”

A part of me felt bad for not telling her the truth, but I knew that I couldn’t. So I put on a soft smile and replied, “Everything’s fine. I think I’m coming down with something.”

“Aubrey Hughes you are not allowed to get sick on Christmas. Grandma Hughes will be furious if you throw up her homemade dinner on her carpet.”

“That’s what Will did last year and he’s still allowed back, right?”

We laughed together, and a genuine smile appeared on my face. “Come on, let’s go get that gift card. Maybe I’ll make Olivia a card or something so she knows that I still love her,” Chloe said as she picked up her tray.

“How old are you, Chlo, 5?”

“Always, Bre. You know I’m a kid at heart.”

With that, we left to enjoy the rest of our shopping, but the dread of the next few days was always lurking in the back of my mind.