Status: All the joints that I have with zackystheman4me will go on hiatus for a short while but we will be back and better than ever.
You Never Noticed Me.
Drunk In Public
As I held Syd as she cried I waned to go cut Brian’s balls off but I didn’t. I needed to be here for Sydney because she had my back with all the other shit that was going on with my asshole brother and Ryan.
It took about thirty minutes to calm her down and for her to finally fall asleep but once she did I moved slowly out of her bed and out of her room and downstairs. I needed a way to fix this but I didn’t have anyone to help me and besides Syd I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I walked into the kitchen and looked in the liquor cabinet I didn’t see anything to drink. I cursed and walked into the to the garage and jumped into my car (yes the car Ryan got me) and drove to the local Harley’s and parked. I walked into the liquor store and started to walk to my favorite section and grabbed my first love Jack Daniels and walked to the front of the store and paid for my stuff. As I was walking out of the store I walked right into someone.
“Damn I’m sorry.” I said as I walked into the person.
“Oh it’s ok…Court?”
I looked up and cursed under my breath and looked at the green eyed, black haired guitar player of the one band I never wanted to hear or see again.
“Move out of my way.”
“Courtney please?”
“No get the fuck out of my way Zachary James.”
“What is taking you so…..” Gena stopped and looked at me and then at her fiancé’.
“Court honey how are you?”
“I’m fine Gena thank you for asking now if you excuse me I have things to do.” I said as I walked past them and to my car.
“Courtney we love you and I’m sorry I didn’t really know about what Johnny did believe me I didn’t.”
“Whatever Zack. Johnny tells you guys everything so I doubt you guys didn’t know. I bet you guys a a good laugh at my expensive. I hope you enjoyed it.”
“ CJ we would never hurt you like that.” Zacky pledged as Gena stood in the middle of us looking like this was kicking her just as much as it was Zack.
“You know just about everyone I thought I loved keeps telling me that but if you guys really looked me you wouldn’t have let this shit happen in the first place. Ryan never did anything to made Johnny think he was going to hurt me so that whole we love you bullshit doesn’t mean anything to me now. Stay away from me. Gena I love you with all my heart but I can’t be around any of you.” I said as Leaned over and hugged her tho I could tell she didn’t want to let me go, but after about a minute I broke the hug and jumped into my car and pulled out of the parking lot.
~Three hours later~
When Syd woke up she didn’t want to be bother so I decided to Johnny’s and drink on cares away. I was now sitting at the bar about an hour away from and drunk in public charge (I love Ron White) as I slammed back another shot of Jack then looked at the bartender.
“Jace gimmie one.” I slurred/
“CJ I think you’re had enough.”
“Give me another shot Jace or I’ma set this damn place off.” I say as I again hear myself slur a little.
Jace me two more shoot and I saw him walk away as I took one of the shots. I soon took the other when I felt someone standing behind me.
“Either buy me a fucking shot or move the fuck away from me.” I said as I looked over to Jace for another shot.
“Let’s go.”
“What?” I turned around and looked and the man who’s voice sounded so familiar and once I was looking and the man I noticed it was Ryan.
“I said let’s go. You’re drunk off your ass and you’re going to make Jace call the cops and we don’t need your ass in jail.” He said as he looked at me with a frown on his face.
“Fuck you Ryan.”
“Maybe later Court.” He said as he reached for my keys.
I tried to grab them but he was to quick and got to them before me and placed them in his pocket.
“Court baby we need to go.”
“I’m not your fucking baby Ryan. I ain’t shit to you.”
“You could be.” He said as he looked at me and if I wasn’t drunk I know I wouldn’t have caved.
“Ry…”
“Come on babe Case going to drive your car to my house and in the morning once you sober up you can leave if you want, but I’m not going to leave you here and you’re this drunk.”
I dropped my head and Ryan grabbed me and pulled me to him and kissed my forehead as I started to feel myself tear up.
About ten minutes later Ryan drove us to my house because I wanted to be at my home and he agree to stay with me and that’s all I need. Around well hell I don’t know what time it was Ryan’s voice woke me up I sat up in my bed and looked around for him and soon found him outside on my balcony talking to someone on the phone.
“Dude I don’t know what to do, I mean I really love Court and I don’t want to be away from her but I can’t be the reason she doesn’t speak to some of the most important people in her life. I mean I fucking hate Johnny and I don’t think that will every change but Zacky, Jimbo, Matt and Brian are cool and they shouldn’t get punished for Johnny’s dumb ass mistake.”
“Dude can she hear us?” I hear Casey asked Ryan because he had it on speaker.
“Fuck no she’s so fucking drunk I thought she was going to puke all the way to her house but all she did was strip down and get in bed.”
“She’s naked?”
“Hell no Case. Do you think I would be talking to you on the phone if Courtney was naked in the next room? Come on just because you guys thought I didn’t feel the same way doesn’t mean I don’t. It took everything in me not to kick Jace’s ass for letting her get this drunk.”
“So how do you feel about her Ry because you sure as hell never said anything about her… well sober anyways.”
“Huh?”
“Every time you’d get drunk off your ass you start talking about how much you love CJ and you would mind giving her your last name and all other shit.”
“Well I do love her I’ve been in love with her since the third grade and I wish we could be more than friends by I can’t be the reason she hates her family, I won’t be.”
“Ry have you every stop to think here in the last week or so that you’re not the reason? Johnny is the reason all this stupid shit is happening. He was the one who told you to stay away from Courtney and he was the one who made this mess not you lay off that shit and go for it. You guy are cute together, she know about what you do for a living and wouldn’t trip if you’re gone all the time because she knows what it’s like, plus she would be with you anyway because you guys are on the same team and she hot.”
“You’re right Casey I think I will.”
I bumped into my skateboard and saw Ryan turn around slightly so I darted into the bathroom and waiting until I heard the blalancy door close with I flushed the toilet, turned on the faucet as if I washed my hands and then walked out of the bathroom.
“Hay are you ok?”
“Yeah.” I said as I walked over to the bed and climbed in.
“Come here.”
“Ryan just…”
“I said come here little girl.”
“That just it Ryan I’m not a fucking little girl anymore and now that I think about it I don’t want you here. Leave.” I said as I got out of the bed and moved away from the bed.
“I’m not dumb I know you hear everything Courtney now come here.”
“No I’m not falling for you again. I can’t… I know my heart won’t take it so I think it’s best you leave.” I said again with a little more force. Ryan looked over at me for a second and I know if I didn’t make him believe me he wouldn’t leave.
“I can’t tell you don’t mean that.”
“I do get out.” I said louder and pointed to the door trying to think of something that would make me mad and all of a sudden Johnny came to my mind and I could tell Ryan knew I was serious.
“Ok if that’s what you want then I’ll go, but I know you love me just as much as I love you, and I know that I hurt you and I promise if it’s the last thing I do I will make this better. You will be able to true me and things will be different.”
“I just want things to go back to the way they were.”
“They won’t be the same because I don’t want to be just your friend Court. I love you with everything that I am and I will not stop until you can see that. I promise I will fix this… all of this, our friendship, your relationship with the guys, and tho I hate your brother I will fix this between you and Johnny too.”
“Whatever.” I said as I crossed my arms over my chest and watched him put his shoes back on and walk over to me.
“Courtney I love you baby and I promise I will fix this.” He said as he pulled me gently to him and tried to kiss me. I turned my face and I heard him sign and that kissed my forehead and he let me go and walk out of my bedroom leaving me to cry myself to sleep again….
CJ @ store
CJ @ bar
CJ @ bedtime
It took about thirty minutes to calm her down and for her to finally fall asleep but once she did I moved slowly out of her bed and out of her room and downstairs. I needed a way to fix this but I didn’t have anyone to help me and besides Syd I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I walked into the kitchen and looked in the liquor cabinet I didn’t see anything to drink. I cursed and walked into the to the garage and jumped into my car (yes the car Ryan got me) and drove to the local Harley’s and parked. I walked into the liquor store and started to walk to my favorite section and grabbed my first love Jack Daniels and walked to the front of the store and paid for my stuff. As I was walking out of the store I walked right into someone.
“Damn I’m sorry.” I said as I walked into the person.
“Oh it’s ok…Court?”
I looked up and cursed under my breath and looked at the green eyed, black haired guitar player of the one band I never wanted to hear or see again.
“Move out of my way.”
“Courtney please?”
“No get the fuck out of my way Zachary James.”
“What is taking you so…..” Gena stopped and looked at me and then at her fiancé’.
“Court honey how are you?”
“I’m fine Gena thank you for asking now if you excuse me I have things to do.” I said as I walked past them and to my car.
“Courtney we love you and I’m sorry I didn’t really know about what Johnny did believe me I didn’t.”
“Whatever Zack. Johnny tells you guys everything so I doubt you guys didn’t know. I bet you guys a a good laugh at my expensive. I hope you enjoyed it.”
“ CJ we would never hurt you like that.” Zacky pledged as Gena stood in the middle of us looking like this was kicking her just as much as it was Zack.
“You know just about everyone I thought I loved keeps telling me that but if you guys really looked me you wouldn’t have let this shit happen in the first place. Ryan never did anything to made Johnny think he was going to hurt me so that whole we love you bullshit doesn’t mean anything to me now. Stay away from me. Gena I love you with all my heart but I can’t be around any of you.” I said as Leaned over and hugged her tho I could tell she didn’t want to let me go, but after about a minute I broke the hug and jumped into my car and pulled out of the parking lot.
~Three hours later~
When Syd woke up she didn’t want to be bother so I decided to Johnny’s and drink on cares away. I was now sitting at the bar about an hour away from and drunk in public charge (I love Ron White) as I slammed back another shot of Jack then looked at the bartender.
“Jace gimmie one.” I slurred/
“CJ I think you’re had enough.”
“Give me another shot Jace or I’ma set this damn place off.” I say as I again hear myself slur a little.
Jace me two more shoot and I saw him walk away as I took one of the shots. I soon took the other when I felt someone standing behind me.
“Either buy me a fucking shot or move the fuck away from me.” I said as I looked over to Jace for another shot.
“Let’s go.”
“What?” I turned around and looked and the man who’s voice sounded so familiar and once I was looking and the man I noticed it was Ryan.
“I said let’s go. You’re drunk off your ass and you’re going to make Jace call the cops and we don’t need your ass in jail.” He said as he looked at me with a frown on his face.
“Fuck you Ryan.”
“Maybe later Court.” He said as he reached for my keys.
I tried to grab them but he was to quick and got to them before me and placed them in his pocket.
“Court baby we need to go.”
“I’m not your fucking baby Ryan. I ain’t shit to you.”
“You could be.” He said as he looked at me and if I wasn’t drunk I know I wouldn’t have caved.
“Ry…”
“Come on babe Case going to drive your car to my house and in the morning once you sober up you can leave if you want, but I’m not going to leave you here and you’re this drunk.”
I dropped my head and Ryan grabbed me and pulled me to him and kissed my forehead as I started to feel myself tear up.
About ten minutes later Ryan drove us to my house because I wanted to be at my home and he agree to stay with me and that’s all I need. Around well hell I don’t know what time it was Ryan’s voice woke me up I sat up in my bed and looked around for him and soon found him outside on my balcony talking to someone on the phone.
“Dude I don’t know what to do, I mean I really love Court and I don’t want to be away from her but I can’t be the reason she doesn’t speak to some of the most important people in her life. I mean I fucking hate Johnny and I don’t think that will every change but Zacky, Jimbo, Matt and Brian are cool and they shouldn’t get punished for Johnny’s dumb ass mistake.”
“Dude can she hear us?” I hear Casey asked Ryan because he had it on speaker.
“Fuck no she’s so fucking drunk I thought she was going to puke all the way to her house but all she did was strip down and get in bed.”
“She’s naked?”
“Hell no Case. Do you think I would be talking to you on the phone if Courtney was naked in the next room? Come on just because you guys thought I didn’t feel the same way doesn’t mean I don’t. It took everything in me not to kick Jace’s ass for letting her get this drunk.”
“So how do you feel about her Ry because you sure as hell never said anything about her… well sober anyways.”
“Huh?”
“Every time you’d get drunk off your ass you start talking about how much you love CJ and you would mind giving her your last name and all other shit.”
“Well I do love her I’ve been in love with her since the third grade and I wish we could be more than friends by I can’t be the reason she hates her family, I won’t be.”
“Ry have you every stop to think here in the last week or so that you’re not the reason? Johnny is the reason all this stupid shit is happening. He was the one who told you to stay away from Courtney and he was the one who made this mess not you lay off that shit and go for it. You guy are cute together, she know about what you do for a living and wouldn’t trip if you’re gone all the time because she knows what it’s like, plus she would be with you anyway because you guys are on the same team and she hot.”
“You’re right Casey I think I will.”
I bumped into my skateboard and saw Ryan turn around slightly so I darted into the bathroom and waiting until I heard the blalancy door close with I flushed the toilet, turned on the faucet as if I washed my hands and then walked out of the bathroom.
“Hay are you ok?”
“Yeah.” I said as I walked over to the bed and climbed in.
“Come here.”
“Ryan just…”
“I said come here little girl.”
“That just it Ryan I’m not a fucking little girl anymore and now that I think about it I don’t want you here. Leave.” I said as I got out of the bed and moved away from the bed.
“I’m not dumb I know you hear everything Courtney now come here.”
“No I’m not falling for you again. I can’t… I know my heart won’t take it so I think it’s best you leave.” I said again with a little more force. Ryan looked over at me for a second and I know if I didn’t make him believe me he wouldn’t leave.
“I can’t tell you don’t mean that.”
“I do get out.” I said louder and pointed to the door trying to think of something that would make me mad and all of a sudden Johnny came to my mind and I could tell Ryan knew I was serious.
“Ok if that’s what you want then I’ll go, but I know you love me just as much as I love you, and I know that I hurt you and I promise if it’s the last thing I do I will make this better. You will be able to true me and things will be different.”
“I just want things to go back to the way they were.”
“They won’t be the same because I don’t want to be just your friend Court. I love you with everything that I am and I will not stop until you can see that. I promise I will fix this… all of this, our friendship, your relationship with the guys, and tho I hate your brother I will fix this between you and Johnny too.”
“Whatever.” I said as I crossed my arms over my chest and watched him put his shoes back on and walk over to me.
“Courtney I love you baby and I promise I will fix this.” He said as he pulled me gently to him and tried to kiss me. I turned my face and I heard him sign and that kissed my forehead and he let me go and walk out of my bedroom leaving me to cry myself to sleep again….
CJ @ store
CJ @ bar
CJ @ bedtime
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