Like We Used To

I pinched the bridge of my nose, a new habit I've recently picked up from John. I let out a deep sigh as I stood up, stuffing my hands in my pants pockets. I cleared my throat and stood up, frowning deeply.

"Essays due tomorrow, Class dismissed." I waved them off.

The students immediately scattered, not wasting time in leaving. I began erasing the white board aimlessly. All I desire at this moment, is to go home and to crawl into bed.

"Jinx?" A soft voice spoke.

I gripped the eraser tightly and clenched my eyes shut. I froze as I was put on the spot. Not now, not here. What do I say? What if she-

"Will you talk to me?"

I swallowed and nodded stiffly. "U-uh yeah."

I turned and glanced at her subtly, in taking a quick breath as I took in her appearance. Her bottom lip quavered as tears threatened to spill over her eyes.

I immediately stuck my hand out and brushed her tears away. She blinked and closed her eyes, smiling softly. But.. her smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Is Kyle-" She gulped, "The one who hurt you? The reason why you were so down and quiet before?"

I gnawed on my bottom lip and nodded. She stifled a sob as the news appeared to hit her without stopping. Guilt, shame, and pain immediately overcame me.

"Why?"

I blinked and looked at her in confusion. "Why... what?"

"Why did he hurt you?" She asked quietly. "What happened?"

I sat down and and sighed softly, absentmindedly running a hand through my hair. "What all do you want to know?"

"Everything." She breathed out, not skipping a beat.

I nodded and closed me eyes, the same faint smile that overlapped my face the day I met Kyle William Burns.

"I met him on tour," I murmured. "I was The Maine's merch boy, John begged me desperately to come and I did. I saw Kyle and instantly wanted him. Everyone knew I did. John didn't like the idea too much, but he didn't really say anything at the moment."

I glanced up at her, checking her reactions. Tears still continued to spill over her big round orbs as I spoke, as if I were mouthing the words.

She nodded, motioning for me to continue.

"He wasn't gay. He didn't want me like I desired him. He was quite rude at first." I admitted sheepishly. "John kinda let it slip, stuff went downhill from there. After awhile things started to calm down I- uh, I guess I kinda turned him gay or something... After he confessed his true feelings we hit it off pretty well. We came back to my house, FTSK and The Maine, for our break and had fun."

I paused for a moment, fiddling with my fingers. "He asked me to his boyfriend on my birthday, at my party. I, of course said yes. Then, things were pretty okay for awhile. We had an end of the year party thing. It was crazy, the water slid wasn't running on water. More like, chocolate syrup."

She cracked a small grin and shook her head.

"And things were perfect... Then, came the actually hard core party. Beer, girls, grinding. You name it, it was there." I paused. "It didn't help the fact that me and Kyle were kinda drifting apart. He didn't show for the part so I went looking for him."

I closed my eyes and swallowed. "I found him on his bus, having sex with Mindy... I ran away and found John, demanding our bus keys. Kyle caught up to me and we argued for some time. His dad had just disowned him... But I was upset. He cheated and I just- I ended it. I left tour the next day with Heidi."

"Then what?" She murmured, placing her hand on top of mine.

I shrugged and looked down. "I'm not even close to being finished yet."

"Take your time."

I sighed. "I got a fake girlfriend, made Kyle jealous. He asked for another chance.. I accepted it and we got back together. Then, we kinda, maybe kissed alot.. And Caleb found us, and swore on his life he wouldn't tell. I ran to find Callie, my fake girlfriend and Kyle got upset and kissed a fan.. I told him to go to hell.."

"He planned on making me jealous and somehow, convinced everyone to go to the park. And he made me jealous.. And he called his sister, and got upset." I shrugged. "And we all went back to the buses since it was getting late.. He ran in and broke down, apologizing for everything. Then we... we uh.. we-"

"I get it." She spoke up.

"And he asked me to be his boyfriend and I accepted. We were walking around and turned the corner to find Jared and Callie kissing." I explained. "And stuff was cool. We went on a break, as usual at the moment. But this time, I went with Kyle to his house and stuff, in Texas."

"And I met his family. It was all great. Well, I met everyone but his Dad. But, his mom excepted us and hugged me." I explained. "Then his Dad popped in. Him and Kyle argued some, h-he slapped Kyle.."

A short intake of breath was hear as she gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. "He hated Kyle being gay that much?"

I nodded briefly. "Then, the next day we went out for ice cream. I rubbed some on his cheek and he chased me. I ran into some dude and he began hitting on me. He gave me his number and Kyle got insanely jealous. On the way back, in the jeep he was being an ass and not talking much."

"He didn't talk to me the whole night. I slept on the couch and was crying about it when Caleb, Jonathan and Austin walked in. Caleb immediately reacted asking me what was wrong. I told him Kyle got jealous and he ran off, yelling at Kyle. He came back and dragged me into Kyle's room."

I bite my lip and cracked a small forced smile. "We apologized and stuff was okay, once again.. I came home with Caleb, Kyle was sleeping and we just ran some errands. I walked in and Kyle was acting weird. The next day I forgot about booking tickets and I later found out Kyle booked them.."

"He gave me my ticket for the next day, at 1:30. But he told me he had to go help his mom with something before we left." I murmured. "He dropped me off at the airport and went to help his mom.. I waited, and waited, and waited.. He never came."

"And then?" She questioned, an eager tone laced in her voice.

"He got with Mindy and he started talking to his Dad." I mumbled, scratching my head "And now, it goes to present time."

She starred at me and blinked, wiping her tears away. I sighed and leaned in, caressing her cheek with the palm of my hand.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, frowning.

"It's f-fine." She choked out. "I should've known.."

I shook my head and forced a smile. "I guess were.. over?"

She nodded and ducked her head, stifling her sobs. I closed my eyes and shook my head. This wasn't suppose to happen. I wasn't suppose to hurt her.

"Just remember, You're more than a friend to me." I whispered, pressing my lips against hers.

She nodded and fiddled with her shirt before dropping her head.

"I'm glad you feel that way."

My eyes widened in horror as I spun around to see a glaring Kyle storm off, muttering incoherent words to himself.

I immediately stood up and quickly began chasing after him, pleading for his steaming form to come back. It appeared to be no use..