Blue Sky and Other Things That Are Good For You

Monday morning I walked into school and once again all eyes were on me. But this felt different, a good different since last time wasn’t so great. Not everybody could’ve seen the dancing, could they? A group of freshman girls look up at me as I pass by to go to my locker. As I was unlocking the lock, one of them comes up to me.
“do you teach dance classes?” she asks, sounding slightly nervous.
I wanted to laugh but she looked so scared I held back, “um, no.”
“I would totally sign up if you did. The dancing on Saturday was amazing.” She comments.
“wait, aren’t you a freshman?”
she nods and then hold up one of those fancy smartphones and shows me a video of me and Ryan dancing. “it’s all over youtube. There’s already over 5,000 hits.” She says, “I’m Jessica by the way.”
“Sky, but I guess you already knew that.” The warning bell rings, “I uh, will think about the class, okay?”
“It would be great, my friends and I would totally sign up.”
“like I said, I’ll think about. See you around Jessica.” I say and head off to class.
The noodle necklace Sydney made me, I changed around to make it a choker and was wearing it along with the other necklace and the bracelet.
Ryan was at his desk when I entered class.
“did you have someone videotape the dance Ryan?” I ask setting down my books.
He looks over at me and holds back a laugh once he notices the necklace, “no. pictures, yes. But those are just on your camera. People took out their phones and took video, it was pretty amazing Sky.” He reaches out to the noodle necklace, “Sydney?”
“yup.”
“I think you’re the only one I know who would actually wear this.” His fingers were still lingering around the necklace, making it hard for me to breath. They slide down a little until they reach the second one, “Lydia?”
“and Rick.” I add.
“yeah, it was Lydia.” He says. Ryan smiled when he noticed I was also wearing the charm bracelet. He moves his hand down and plays around with it some, “we’ll have to get you some more charms.”
“I’m okay with these. Plus I have some at home, I just didn’t add them yet. Thank you, though.”
“it was your birthday after all. What did the rest of them get you.”
“um, Scarlet got me a bunch of gift cards, forcing me to go shopping with her because, I guess, she likes my so called style. And your parents got me a pair of earrings that I’m not brave enough to wear to school.”
“what about Charlie?”
“Charlies is a secret. His note said that I couldn’t tell you.” which was true. Charlie wrote that no matter how much Ryan begged or bribed, I was not allowed to tell him about the picture. Until the time was right that is. Although I didn’t quite understand the last part.
“I’ll get it out of you somehow.”
“nope.” I shake my head at the same time.
“Hey, so-“ Ryan starts but was cut off by the teacher that decided it was time to teach. “we’ll talk later.” He whispers to me and I nod as I start my daily doodling.
Throughout the day I had many people ask about dance lessons, even some guys. By theater, I had decided that I could take of Tuesdays and Thursdays and teach dance instead. It would be fun, and bring in some extra bucks. But I would also need a partner, so unless Ryan could do it, I couldn’t.
We were sent into the hall to rehearse scene twenty-seven. It was one that had kissing but that wasn’t where we were messing up. Mrs. Bergs said that we had a lot of passion in the kissing, but not the words. So that’s what we had to rehearse, balancing the passion between the two.
I told her we shouldn’t do this in the halls, but she waved it off as nothing.
In the midst of the kiss (that was supposed to be five seconds long) there was a cough interrupting us. I was up against the wall and with Ryan so tall, I couldn’t see over his shoulder.
He moved away and looked down at me worried while I just smirked. It was Cathy. Sure it’s not good to have the principle catch you kissing in the halls, but she wasn’t going to do anything to Ryan or I.
“You two know we have a strict no PDA in this school.”
“Cathy, the play includes kissing and for whatever reason Mrs. Bergs sent us out into the hall to practice.”
“to practice kissing?” she asks, not believing me.
Ryan answered this time, “well, not just kissing, but one of the kissing scenes, yes. You just caught us at the wrong time.”
“I’m sure that was it.”
“it was.” I say.
She glances over us, me particularly and then pauses with a smile. I follow her gaze and notice they were on Ryan and my hands, which were still intertwined from the kiss. Cathy smiles up at us directly before walking back down the hall. I laugh a little to myself and slip my hand out of his.
“well, now that that’s done. What did you want to talk about in religion?” I ask.
“oh, well there’s a party after the game on Friday and I was wondering if you wanted to go.”
“nope.”
“aw, come on Sky.”
“it’s not just because I don’t want to go, I can’t, I have to watch Suzy.”
“she’s spending the night at my house with Sydney.” Right, I forgot about that.
“oh yea… um, I have to,” I try to think of an excuse, “I have to help Lydia with some wedding plans.” Ryan crosses his arms, obviously not believing that one, “you know, figure out my measurements so that she can get the dress and-“
“Sky, you guys are going dress shopping Saturday afternoon. And Lydia is going to be at the game. Which is why you’re going. My girlfriend would never miss one of my games, would she?”
“oh come on! That’s not fair, you can’t use that one against me Ryan!”
“Rick is already onto us Sky.”
“hey, I’m not the one who lied about it, you are.” I point out.
“come on. Please.” He puts his hands together, begging.
I sigh, “fine. But I’m not going to the party.” I reason.
“great. Don’t forget to run up at the end of the game and give me a big smooch!” I knew he was joking. Or at least hoped he was.
“you want me to come or not?”
“fine, fine.” He gives in. “I really don’t feel like rehearsing anymore.”
I slide down the wall to sit down and Ryan follows, “fine with me.”
It was silent for a couple minutes. Not awkward, just silent. “so, kids want me to teach dance.” I mention.
“really??” Ryan sounded more excited about it than I did. Which was good, I needed him to be excited about it.
“yeah. A bunch of girls and a couple guys. I was thinking that maybe I could do it. I mean, if I take off Tuesdays and Thursdays from Yogi’s then I could have lessons in the afternoon and evenings. Even charge money so that I wouldn’t be losing money…”
“I’m hearing a ‘but’ coming on.”
“I need a partner and obviously you know how to dance.” I say slightly fast.
“ah.” He rubs his jaw a little, nervous I guess, “it’s one thing to dance with a girl at a club or dance, it’s another to teach dance. Football players don’t exactly teach dance.”
I cross my arms and raise my eyebrows, “remind me who’s pretending to be your girlfriend?”
“you.” he mumbles.
“and who actually went out on her birthday for you?”
“you.”
“and who told you the truth about your girlfriend when no one else had the guts to?”
“you.”
“and who actually opened up to you after years of one word replies?”
“I get it, I get it.” He says, putting his hands up in defeat.
“I think the least you can do is teach a dance class with me.”
He sighs, “I don’t know Sky…”
“I’m willing to quit work to spend time with you…” I say, knowing that would make him cave.
“fine.”
I clap my hands, “sweet!”
“you totally just tricked me into that, didn’t you.”
“yep.” I say grinning.
He leans in and presses his lips against mine. Against my will I kiss back. I don’t know how long it was but it was defiantly more than five seconds, since the next thing we heard was Amanda’s voice telling on us, “Mrs. Bergs, they’re kissing for longer than the required time!” Mrs. Bergs tells her that it’s fine but she glares at us. “What is it with you two? It’s not like anyone would believe you guys were a couple even if you were.”
“we were seriously just practicing Amanda. Unlike you, I don’t go around kissing guys I’ve just met, therefore I don’t have the experience.”
She stomped away and I turned back to Ryan, expecting him to be laughing, or at least smirking. But instead, he looked kind of sad. He got up and walked back into the theater to grab his bag. I just sat there wanting to cry but not letting the tears out of my eyes.

At the end of the day I raced out of class to make sure I beat Ryan to his car. I did, and leaned against it waiting for him. I was going to be late to work, but that was fine with me, I needed to know what was up. Why he freaked out on me during theater.
Ryan saw me against his car and looked mad, but I stayed there. He finally reached it, glaring at me, “move.” He says. Wanting into the drivers side where I was standing.
“no.”
“sky. I mean it, I need to get home.”
“and I need to get to work, but neither is going to happen until you explain.” I cross my arms, waiting.
“there’s nothing to explain.” Ryan says.
“That’s why you look like you want to tear my head off.” I reply, “what did I do Ryan?” I flat-out ask.
“why do you even care? I thought you didn’t want friends.”
“I may not be the most social person, but I don’t want people to hate me.”
“well it’s too late for that”
“I’m not leaving until you give me a straight answer.”
“nothing. That’s what you’re doing. It’s always nothing!” he yelled the last part which made me flinch. I saw his chest rise and fall as he took some breaths to calm himself. This was probably a good idea since we were standing pretty close and I haven’t known him long enough to know how he controls his anger. Seems to be doing a good job at the moment though. “is it always just practice to you?” he finally says, and it comes out as a whisper.
I was confused, “what are you talking about Ryan?” I ask.
“whenever we’re caught kissing, you always say we’re practicing.”
Oh, so that’s what this is about. “Ryan, here’s the thing. The closer you and I get, the more it will hurt when you leave. Does that make sense?”
“But I keep telling you that will never happen.”
I sigh and take out my cell phone, dialing Ted number, he answers on the first ring. “hey ted?-um, I can’t make it in today, an emergency has come up- don’t worry, nothing bad-yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” I close my phone and slide it back into my pocket, looking up at Ryan, “we need to talk.” I say.

Since I didn’t want it to be in public, we went to a small park near his house that was empty this time of day. I sat on the grass picking at the daisies while he sat there waiting.
“my mom and dad were the popular kids at Ridgefield when they went.” I finally say, “they were the ‘it’ couple like you and Amanda were. Although this was their sophomore year, not senior. They went to some party, probably like the one you’re going to on Friday and well got drunk. Maybe did some drugs, I’m not too sure on that. One thing led to another and my mom got pregnant. She was fifteen at the time, while my dad was fourteen. Instantly their popularity fell and they became just another pair of losers. Cathy, uh Mrs. Shaw, befriended them. She was there for my mom throughout the pregnancy and helped raise me. For the first ten years, my parents were the perfect parents I could ever imagine. I never thought I would lose them or they would change. After I turned ten, I was left to fend for myself. My parents went from full time jobs to part time, started drinking heavily and even smoking weed. They said that I made them miss their years of fun, so they were making up for it now. That’s why I work full time to pay the bills and I have perfect grades because I have to get that full scholarship to schools. It’s also why I built up a wall around myself. I learned early on that the best way to survive was to not get close to people, not get noticed. That’s how I lived. And this whole time, for ten years, you were always the kid that respected that. You wouldn’t ask how I was all the time, or call me emo or a druggie or whatever. Even when you did ask if I was okay, it always seemed to be on my worst days, like you could tell I really wasn’t. I don’t know why, but for some freaking reason that all changed when I told you I got moved up to eleventh grade.”
“With the play and your family and everything, I’ve had fun, I really have. But there’s still a part of me saying that once I get close something’s going to happen. My parents left me after ten years Ryan, you must get why it’s hard for to have a friendship with you let alone anything more. It doesn’t matter how many times you say you won’t hurt me or how nice you are, all it takes is that one day that one moment and you could be gone.” I was still picking at the grass when I finished and could feel Ryans eyes staring at me, I knew he felt sorry, but I didn’t want him to. “I don’t want you to say sorry or feel bad for me or anything; I just thought it was time for you to know the truth.”
I look up finally to see what I was feeling before, Ryans crystal blue eyes staring at me. I fidget a little, waiting for a reply from him that doesn’t come.
While looking into his eyes, I spoke quietly, “last week I cried myself to sleep because I thought you weren’t going to talk to me again.”
It started to rain then, at the same moment a tear slipped down my cheek. Ryan moved closer and wiped my tear away, as the water came down harder from the sky. I was now sitting in mud, as was Ryan.
I dig my hand deep into the dirt behind me and pick up a handful of mud. Moving quickly, I slap it onto Ryans back and roll out of his grip. He grins and takes a handful, hitting my butt as I was running away. The mud war began after that and ended about five minutes later when he tackled me to the ground.
“what was that?” he asks, hovering above me, both of us covered from head to toe in mud.
“that is what I call having some fun in the…rain.” I reply, smiling and Ryan smiled back. I don’t know if it was his smile, the mud, or just being caught up in the moment. But for the first time ever, I was the one to lean in and crash my lips against his.
Ryan was shocked at first, I could tell, but easily recovered and started to kiss back. It wasn’t a rough kiss or anything. It was one of those kisses that was filled with so much emotion, so much passion that it left you breathless after only seconds. Which is what happened.
Ryan was the one to pull away first and he rolled off me to my side but kept his arm around me, keeping me close.
“so…” Ryan says.
“so.” I repeat.
“for the record, you kissed me, not the other way around.” I laugh, throwing some mud at him blindly. I hear him spitting stuff out and turn to face him. The pile hit him straight on the mouth which made me laugh harder. “not funny.”
“it actually is Ryan.” I say, taking my finger and running it along the side of his cheek to get some of the mud off. I did that a few times until it was all off his face, or most of it was.
“so what’s going on between us?” he asks.
“I don’t know.” I reply, telling the truth.
Ryan moved closer so that he was practically lying on top of me, “I really like you.” he whispers in my ear.
“I know.” I say, turning to face him. Our foreheads were now touching as we stared to each other. “I forgot to thank you for last week.”
His eyebrows furrow, “for ignoring you, that’s touching.”
I smile, “not that. When I said ‘no’ you stopped instantly. I didn’t have to repeat myself. I don’t think most guys would do that.”
“well then, you’re welcome. But really, back to the topic before that.”
“I’m not ready Ryan.” His face drops a little, disappointed. “I want to be, but I can’t force something like this onto me.”
Ryan nods, “so friends?”
“with occasional benefits.” Ryan smiles at my add-on.
“and being my friend, you have to sit with me at lunch…”
“no.” I say sternly.
“damn. A guy can hope.” He leans in and kisses my nose playfully and then pulls back.
I giggle, “what was that for?” Ryan shrugs. “for the first time in a really long time I’m in a magnificent mood.”
“that’s good.” He kisses my cheek.
“and it’s all because of you.” I add.
“that’s even better,” he says before his lips touch mine in another slow, passionate kiss. Thunder rolled in the distance and lighting lit up the sky. I wanted to stay here in Ryans arms, where I didn’t have to worry about anything but the moment.