Blue Sky and Other Things That Are Good For You

I was with Lydia and Scarlet, dress shopping for the wedding. We walked into some dress shop and my eyes went wide. I had never once in my life been in a room with so much…girly stuff.

“you okay there Sky?” Scarlet asks, holding back a laugh.

I shake out of my trance, “uh, yeah.” I pull a little at the hem of my dress. Ryan sort of took it out of Scarlets closet and gave it to me to wear since I don’t have any. It fit perfectly, but I still felt awkward wearing it. I’m a jeans girl, not a dress girl.

“okay, so the color scheme is red and white.” The first thing that came to mind was candy canes when Lydia said this, “so let’s start looking!” they seemed overly happy about dress shopping.

I was kind of out of it, not exactly knowing what to do, but searched the racks anyways. One dress stuck out to me and I grabbed it, now on the search to find Lydia. Finally pushing through hundreds of dresses, I found her, “hey, does this work?” I ask, shyly.

The dress was short, knee length if not shorter, and solid red with a strip of white just below the waist.

“that’s perfect!” Lydia shrieks, grabbing me into a bone crushing hug. The dress was simple yet elegant.

Scarlet came out of no where with another dress in hand, “how about this one?” she asks. Holding up an equally gorgeous dress. It was the same, with the white ribbon, but instead of strapless, it had small sleeves.

“you two are great at finding dresses! Lets go buy them.” They did so and left to go look for shoes.

“so Sky, how’s things going with our brother?” Scarlet asked, while following Lydia through the stores.

“great.” I say.

“you’re coming to Thanksgiving with us, right?” she asks me.

“um, I don’t know. Ryan hasn’t mentioned that yet.” My phone suddenly vibrated and I opened it up, receiving a new text from Ryan. I smile as I read it.

“must be the boy himself, what does he want?” Lydia asks.

“the boys are done with tux shopping and was wondering if we wanted to meet them for lunch. They’re at Cicadia at the moment.” I paraphrase the text.

“oh fine. We’re not too far. Tell him we’ll be there in like ten minutes.” I nod and reply to the text while we drive over there. About ten minutes later we showed up and found the table they were at.

Rick it turns out has a younger brother who was Scarlets age and I guess they’d been getting along quite well these days. Mr. Richardson, I noticed, wasn’t at the table. “where’s your dad?” I ask Ryan who was sitting next to me.

“at the bar. He didn’t feel like ruining everyones fun.” He says. “how was dress shopping?”

“oh, just fantastic.” I reply sarcastically.

Ryan leans in closer, “you may not like wearing them, but they look great on you.” he whispers in my ear, making me blush. His hand was resting on my knee and I knew what was coming.

“not here Ryan.” I say, giggling a bit. He playfully frowns and leans away.

Scarlet broke in then, “you guys start your dance class this week, right?” she asks.

“yeah, we do.”

“wait, since when do you teach dance Ryan?” Lydia asks.

“uh, let’s just say I owe Sky a few favors.”

“we should join Rick.”

“huh?” Rick asks, confused.

“we need some dance for the wedding. Might as well have them teach us.”

“sweetie, I love you, but I’m not going to start dancing like they did for the wedding.” Lydia shrinks down and pouts.

Ryan just shrugs but I felt bad, “we could teach you guys something less extravagant.” I say, making Lydia perk up and Ryan glaring at me, to which I just glared back. “like the waltz or foxtrot, something calmer.”

“really?” Lydia seemed excited about this.

“yes, really Sky?” Ryan asks.

“oh stop it Ryan. The least you can do is teach your brother-in-law how to dance.”

“for what?” he counters.

I turn to the table, “excuse us.” I say politely and grab Ryans hand, dragging him out of their view.

“what’s wrong with you?” I ask, leaning against the wall in front of Ryan.

He smirks, “I can’t believe that actually worked.” He says.

“what actually-“ but I was cut off with his lips on mine in a rushed kind of kiss. It was minutes later when he finally pulled back.

“I’ve been waiting all day for that.”

“so you had to fake a fight with me to get it?”

“well you said ‘not here’ earlier…”

“doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk.” His body was still pressed against mine and our mouths were inches apart.

“I know you liked it.” He says, leaning in again. I press my lips tightly together so that I would react to the kiss at all. It didn’t take Ryan long to realize I wasn’t going to kiss back. “aw, come on sky!” he complains.

“you’ve gone days without kissing me before, I don’t get why you need to now.” I explain.

“you won’t like the answer.” He says.

“try me.”

“it’s hard to not be kissing someone everyday…since I’m used to Amanda attacking me every five minutes.” Ryan explains quickly.

“you’re right, I didn’t like the answer.” Ryan starts to walk away but I catch his hand and pull him back, “where are you going?”

“back to the table,” he replies.

“all I said was that I didn’t like your answer.”

“but-“ I stand up on my tippy toes and lean in close.

“two minutes.” I say before crashing my lips back to his. Ryan kisses back urgently and pushes me hard against the wall. After that though, it didn’t get much more intense. It was just another make-out session.

Once it seemed like two minutes, he pulled back and smiled down at me. “we’re still teaching Lydia and Rick.” I say, making sure he knew I didn’t forget about it.

“whatever.”

“whatever?” I repeat, slightly shocked by his response.

Ryan reached out and slowly tucked a piece of hair behind me ear, “the more we have to be together around my family, the more I can pretend this is actually real.” He stepped back then, and started his way back to the table. It took me another second or two to catch on to what he said and once I did, guilt washed over me.

I caught up with Ryan before he reached the table and grabbed his hand. He looked down at me for a second before looking straight ahead.

We got to the table and Ryan pulled my chair out for me like a total gentleman. I smiled sweetly at him, and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t smile back.

“Ryan, you were planning to invite Sky to thanksgiving, weren’t you?” Lydia asks.

Ryan looked nervously over at me and I just shrugged, “uh, yes?” he says, more like a question than an answer. “but we’ll talk about it later.” He adds sternly.

“Judy would just love to meet her. And nana and-“ Lydia goes on.

“Lydia, we’ll talk about it, okay?” Ryan says.

She crosses her arms and sinks down in her seat, “fine.”

I finished my salad in silence and before I knew it, lunch was over.

“you coming over tonight Sky?” Scarlet asks as Ricks brother was politely helping her with her coat.

“um-“ I didn’t know the answer to that. Usually Ryan and I had something worked out, but for some reason that didn’t happen today, “actually, we’re going back to my place. We have a lot to do for the play and thought it would be easier without a bunch of people around.” I fib.

Rick laughs, “also known as they are going to her house to have s-“ Lydia covers his mouth and I couldn’t help but blush a little.

“lets go then,” Ryan says, taking my hand, “I’ll see you guys later.” He waves to his family and then quickly leads me out of the restaurant. The instant we were out of their view, he dropped my hand.

The car ride was silent. Awkward silent, and I hated it. We got to the apartment eventually and walked up the stairs. Although he was across the way from me, like I had a contagious disease. What was going?

We got to my floor and I notice one of my dads ties on the door handle. Why? Why me? Why today?! I bang my head against the wall and slide down it. I dropped my head into my hands and sat there.

I heard a stifled laugh and look up to see Ryan smirking. “you think this is funny?!” I was on the verge of crying. His looked like I just slapped him. I’m sure he could tell I was about to cry, he was the type of guy that could see that.

Ryan squatted in front of me, “hey, it’s going to be okay Sky.” He says soothingly.

I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe him. But I couldn’t find it myself to. “no Ryan, no it’s not going to be okay!” I just under scream at him, “My parents are like dorm-mates, always kicking me out whenever they feel like it. And then you just randomly start being distant and then not distant and then distant. It’s like you can’t make up your fucking mind!” so maybe that was a bit much, but it needed to be said.

“you always say that this isn’t easy for you. how the hell do you think it is for me, huh?! I’ve been working my ass off to get this close to you and what do I get? Friends with occasional benefits. Any other girl at the school would kill to have me begging them to go out with me, but you? no, you have to put me down every chance you get. You think that’s easy?!” He snapped. I could tell that he snapped and I felt at full fault.

“sorry you’ve never actually had to work for something Ryan. I’m sure you’d rather me be easy like Amanda was.” The words were harsher than I intended and I saw the consequence of them on Ryans face. Shit. If you ever need something screwed up, come to me, I’m an expert. “Ryan I-“

“no, you’re right.” He says, standing up. I stand up also, and wipe away the tears that had escaped the edges of my eyes. Ryan was watching me, making me feel self-conscious. Another set of tears fell down my cheeks and I reached up quickly to wipe them away. Surprisingly though, I was too slow. Ryan had stepped in front of me and wiped them away with his thumb.

I weakly smile up at him, “I hate asking you this…but could I crash at your house tonight?”

“of course.”

We step apart and slowly make our way back down the stairs. This time, the silence was killing me. He needed to know something, I just didn’t know what it was. I knew what he wanted to hear, but I wasn’t ready to say those words.

Instead I took another route, “When I push you away, that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be a part of my life.” I say.

Ryan sighs, “I know.”

“and you’re the reason why I’m where I am today with school and everything…”

A slow smile creeps upon his face, “I didn’t know that.” I could hear the smirk in his voice even though he wasn’t facing me.

“yeah, well it’s not exactly the thing I go and blurt out to everyone.” I comment sarcastically, going back to myself. I can honestly understand how trying to be my friend would be hard, that’s why I’ve never tried to be my own friend.

“I would hope not, cause then it wouldn’t be so personal to me.”

“for a football player, you’re really romantic.” I blurt out. To my dismay, we were at a red light and Ryan turned to face me.

“excuse me?” he asks jokingly.

“romantic as in transcendentalist. English class, remember? Like Huck Finn is a romantic.” Wow, that’s gotta be my fastest cover-up response so far.

“uh-huh. I’m sure that’s what you meant.”

“obviously it is because what you said before wasn’t really romantic in the other sense.”

The light turned green and he turned back to the road.

“I’m a romantic guy.” He states.

“oh really?” I reply, not believing a word.

Ryan pauses to think for a second, “the charm bracelet.”

“sweet. But if I remember right, you told me it was merely a friendly gesture.”

“fine. I’m a fun-romantic guy. Not like classic-romance or anything.”

I laugh, “the difference being…?”

“I don’t do roses and all that shit.”

“obviously.”

“but like playing pool, or the popcorn fight. The mud fight, and the dancing…”

“okay, okay.” I put my hands up in surrender, “you win. You’re a romantic guy. Happy now?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the random fight we just had.

We were parked in his driveway now, “ecstatic.” He says and leans over, quickly covering my mouth with his. He pulled away and I opened my eyes that automatically closed during the kiss, “I’ll explain later.” He whispers and then gets out of the car and walks over to my side, opening the door for me.

His parents were in the doorway talking about something when we entered the house.

With how the family is, you wouldn’t think that his parents actually cared about what the kids did, but they did. Which was actually nice, especially since they practically took me in as one of their own. “Oh Sky! Lydia said that you wouldn’t be coming.” Mrs. Richards mentions.

“change of plans. She left her script here, so we just thought it would make more sense to come back.” For the first time, I saw Ryan make something up, taking that one duty for now, off my shoulders. “Would it be alright if Sky spent the night?” It was like asking your parents when you were ten if you could have a sleep over, but now it was at a whole other level.

“of course.” Mrs. Richards replies, eyeing us, “but may I ask why?”

Ryan hesitated, cueing me up again, “we only have five weeks until opening night and Ryan can’t get his words right for scene 27. or, when he does, then he messes up on some other things.” Like the kiss, but I wasn’t going to say that, “Mrs. Bergs is really pushing it on us to perfect this scene because it’s like the most important scene. But it’s been digging into the practice of our other scenes, which are obviously equally important to have right when you’re doing a play. So, it would just be easier if I could spend the night rather than having Ryan drive me back during the late hours.” Wow. That was quite a speech.

Ryan was watching me, as was his parents, “well then, I don’t see why not. Just keep your door open, I don’t want any funny business.” She says and they leave the house for some event.

I laughed at her comment and followed an embarrassed Ryan up the stairs to his room. He closed the door behind us and I looked at him cautiously “when did you stop listening to your mother Ryan?”

“oh shush. Even if I did try funny business, you’d have me in the hospital before I could say ‘ow’.” He says, which was true. “and I am not messing up scene 27.”

“really? You stumble over your words and when you don’t do that you kiss me too early.”

“I do not.” He argues

“you really do Ryan. It’s okay though, we all have our weaknesses.”

“you and I don’t.”

I looked at him confused. “do you actually believe that?” I ask, sitting down next to him on his bed.

“well yeah. You’re like invincible, you take everything that comes to you as it is and then just shove it aside.”

“Ryan, you just witnessed me crying, I obviously have a weakness. And you do too.” I tell him.

“I don’t think crying necessarily means you have a weakness.”

I sigh, “you’re so clueless sometimes Ryan. You’re clueless about the stuff I wish I was clueless about.”

“enlighten me, what am I not understanding?”

“last week I told you that I cried myself to sleep because of you. Because I thought you left. That would, in turn, make you, Ryan Richards, my weakness. I hate to admit it, but you are. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life, whether it was back when you stuck to asking me questions five times a year, or now when you’re begging me to be your girlfriend.” Ryan was looking at me like he expected me to continue. “and I’m your weakness. It took me awhile to figure it out, but once I did it seemed like it was right in front of me. Every time you asked if I was okay, it was always on my worst days, or my best days. Somehow you knew when I was acting different from every other day of sitting in the back doodling. Which means that you really observed how I was each and every day for years. Whenever I was feeling down, I knew you would be the first to make sure I was okay, and whenever I was fantastic, you’d be the first to know why. Now this realization has hit you hard that you might actually care for me and that’s why you stumble over the words. Because they relate so much to you, to us. And when you do get it right, when you get past the fact that you’re reading them to me, you still have this urgency to have me in your arms if not kissing me. Just to know that I’m safe, that nothing will happen to me. Therefore, I’m your weakness. You honestly can’t live without me.” Damn, I should have shut my mouth from the beginning. That was too honest right there.