P.S. I Hate You

As soon as the plane made its landing everyone made a way to the door and out of the tension filled plane. James and I were the last to leave the plane, hand in hand. In the corner of my eye I saw Terrance staring us down. I pushed James in front me, leading the way.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked, looking around, waving and smiling at the civilians who recognized the royals of England. I straightened my back, looking as normal as possible and still glaring at Terrance.

Once we were out side I said, “I told you, Terrance still loves me. We shouldn’t have told him.”

“Told him what Ever? That we’re in love? It was going to happen sooner or later. Either we’ll let him have his little bitch fit now or we could have waited to tell him and he’d hate us an old man. And old men are grumpy and never forgive. Have it your way Ever.” James smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

“But, we already told him now.” I frowned.

“Exactly. So you just have to wait till he stops his nagging and whining.” I sighed and slumped my shoulders. James smiled and took hold of my hand again.

“I’m going to have to take your fiancée for the remainder of the night.” Amber said coming towards us, then grabbing my arm.

“And why are you taking my wife?” He replied, reaching his arm over both my shoulders.

“The bachelorette party of course!” Amber squealed and took hold my arm again.

“I didn’t even know about this…” I muttered shaking my head. Of course it always Amber’s fault, planning stuff behind my back.

“Oh, I’ve totally forgotten. I have mine tonight as well.”

“Well I don’t want any strippers there so I have to go with James right?” I said, smiling. I knew that if I left James alone with Terrance he would tell James we kissed. With the influence of alcohol doesn’t help the situation.

“I don’t care if you get a male stripper and he puts his balls all over you. I love it when other men’s balls are on my girl. So shouldn’t you not care that I have some other girls tits in my face?” James placed a playful smirk on his face.

I shook my head and turned to my best friend and Kim. We walked the other way as James walked another. “I was kidding by the way! No male strippers.” he shouted at us.

Amber leaned in my ear and whispered, “I already booked the male strippers.” I laughed and playfully pushed her. Amber, Kim, Meghan and I quickly made our way into the car.

I watched the scenery pass by as Meghan and Amber chatted away in my ear. All I could think about was what if Terrance tells James we kissed? They don’t seem as close now. But I wouldn’t for a second doubt that Terrance wouldn’t tell James.

Oh God James is going to be crushed. What am I going to do? I already gave Terrance that kiss when we had that talk at my birthday party. What is James finds out I kissed Terrance both times. Hell, I’m in a whole lot of trouble.

Time was lost. I followed Amber out the dark car and into a building. There inside were many people smiling at me. I smiled back. I didn’t know a single soul in this room. I looked behind me. Meghan, Amber, Kim, Mary. I didn’t know anyone else. They were all civilians of England.

From this moment I knew I didn’t have a life of my own. Not a single thought was mine. Not a single action was my own. I wasn’t my self. I was now a plus million. I wasn’t only marring James, I was also marring England.

I turned to Amber and pushed her outside. Once I knew no one could see us I started to hyperventilate. I hated crowds. I hated people. How am I supposed to rule a country when I cant even rule my own mind.

“What’s wrong sweet?” Amber asked, resting her hand on my shoulder.

“I can’t do this anymore. What if Terrance tells James? It wasn’t just once we kissed. It was twice! Remember the time at my birthday party and well I kissed him on the cheek and he moved his head and we kind of kissed. I don’t think that counts because James and I weren’t even together.”

“Darling Terrance won’t tell James. He doesn’t seem like they type that would do that. Or the type that would hold something like that against you. Don’t worry your pretty little head.” Amber comforted me and embraced me into her arms. I snuggled in between her arms and her small body.

Instead of going to my bridal party Amber and I decided to get ice cream. I couldn’t accept England. I couldn’t accept their gifts. I was no longer myself and doing this didn’t help one bit.

*~*~*~*~*

Once Amber and I were talking about the meaning of life and eating ice cream we came to the place we were staying at. More like a mansion. Turns out we were living here. For the rest of our natural born lives. The home was bigger than the one in Alabama and mine and Ambers combined. It was more extravagant that anything I’d ever seen on TV. I had to take it all in and explore it all in any of the extra time I had. I wanted to do all that but I left Amber to explore and I went in my room to wait for James.

I waited for what seems like forever. Then finally, to my relief James came through the door. Of course drunk off his mind.

James smiled and fell onto the bed next to me. “How ever are you Ever. Ever. Ever?” James laughed and rolled onto his face.

“How was your bachelor party?” I ignored his previous question. God he reeked of hard liquor. I scrunched my nose in disgust. Quickly I remembered that James only drank when he was angry and bitter. I sighed. Terrance told him I knew it.

“How was your’s, Ever?” He asked in slurred words.

“Well Amber and I left early. Didn’t really like it as much as I thought I would.” I muttered.

“I had those female strippers like you said I couldn’t. They satisfied me more than you ever could.” James rolled back over onto his back and stared me right in the eyes.

I closed my eyes, hoping the water works wouldn’t come. “Stop.”

“Of course you know all about satisfying men. I mean you were getting Terrance all hot and ready more than your own fiancée.” His slurring stopped and he didn’t seem so drunk anymore.

“Please.” I muttered. A single tear raced down my face and onto the edge of my lip.

“Kissing my own best mate behind my back. You were probably fucking him too! I wouldn’t doubt if you were doing the same to Gavin.”

“James. Please stop. Let me explain.”

“I’ve gotten all the explanation I needed tonight! You’re a little fucking slut. You really think that kissing someone else would get you out this that easily? I hate you and I always have. And if you even think about leaving you better put those pretty little thoughts back into your head right now. I trusted you. I loved you. And you make it up to me by fucking my best friend!” James yelled and soon tears were rimming his eyes as well.

My eyes suddenly turned into a well. The salty water wouldn’t stop. “James I would never! I love you. He kissed me.”

“If he kissed you then why did you feel so guilty about telling me? Why didn’t you just come to me as soon as it happened and told me that you kissed my best friend? That’s probably because you wanted to kiss him Ever. You wanted it. You wanted nothing more than to see me miserable because it’s the only thing that helps you sleep at night.”

I couldn’t help crying. I just couldn’t stop. I deserve this. I deserve every ounce of it.

“I cant do this right now.” I whispered. I stood to leave the room but James stopped me as soon as I made it to the door.

“Oh you cant do this? You seemed pretty damn ready when you were doing the freak with Terrance. You better get ready. Because in three days when you walk down that isle you better be damned ready to say our forced ‘I dos’.”

I quickly left with tears in my eyes and fear on my mind. I really couldn’t do this. I hurried down the stairs and out the front door. I left myself to wander the England streets alone and sad.