Memorial

I woke to the light from the window came shining in, hitting me in the eye. My head was pounding; it felt like I had been hit by a truck. I groaned and rubbed the sleep from my eyes; I looked around. My hands dropping back onto the mattress. This wasn’t my room, I tried to roll over and keep myself calm. But I was wrapped in someone’s arms and they had an iron grip on me.

I tried to control my breathing, as I desperately tried to pull myself from the stranger’s arms without waking them; which in the end proved to be a fail. I sighed out heavily and kicked the sheets from my body; the cold air hit me and leaving goose bumps on my exposed flesh. My eyes widened and I wish I hadn’t have done that. I wasn’t wearing my dress; I was just in my bra and underwear.

I couldn’t help it. I screamed; I was in a random bed, being held by a random person, I wasn’t wearing my clothing and I couldn’t remember most of the night before. I was a little freaked out.

The person holding me jolted awake. “Wha’ is happened?”

I looked over at the person next to me and my heart stopped. Oliver?! “Oh god.” I whispered under my breath.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked down at me. “Pay, are yeh ok, love?” He reached out to touch me and I backed from him, falling off the bed and rolling. “Pay!” He quickly got up from the bed, trying to help me but I slapped his hand away.

“Don’t touch me!” I said, curling up into a ball. I looked up at him. He was in nothing but a pair of briefs, trying to calm me. Tears started to pool in my eyes as my brain came up with two conclusions. I had either slept with Oliver or I had just been put in here and Taylor had made sure to help me not ruin my dress. And the first one was more likely than the second. This was Oliver Sykes.

“Pay, love.” He said softly, kneeling in front of me and reaching out. I shouted pushing him away and hurrying over to my dress. I pulled it on my head as quickly as I could, before I felt his hand on my arm. “Payton?”

I shoved his hand away. “Don’t touch me again Oliver!” I shouted. Tears soaked my face by now. I can’t believe I had done that.

“Are yeh o’reight, love?” He asked coming closer towards me.

“Don’t call me that!” I shouted angrily. How could he ask such a stupid question?

He stopped a foot in front of me. “Wha’s wrong?”

“I FREAKING SLEPT WITH YOU!” I screamed.

“Love, we didn’t-”

“Don’t lie to me!” I hissed cutting him off. “Don’t you dare lie to me Oliver Sykes!” I shoved him slightly. “I know we did! You know how I do? Because it’s you we’re freaking talking about! You jump on the chance to get with a girl! You’re a cheater and a liar and a horrible person Oliver!” My tears were starting to slow and my anger was only building more. “You took my purity!” I brushed my hair out of my face so I could glare at him. “I was saving myself for someone and then something happens and I can’t remember and you take it from me! I can’t believe you went so low!”

“Payton, I didn’t-”

I shouted and slapped him right across the face. “YOU’RE A FUCKING LIAR OLIVER SCOTT SYKES!” I screamed, the house was completely dead silent. He stood there with wide eyes in disbelief, his cheek was bright red. “How could you?” I gave him a good shove. Without an answer I hurried over to my heels and grabbed them, and bolted from the room and down the stairs. I rushed past someone and out the front door.

The air was cold and the pavement was wet from the rain. Tears were still silently rolling down my cheeks blurring my vision. I can’t believe I was so stupid. I ran for as long I could, before my tears had come to be too much and I couldn’t see clearly enough. I stopped seeing I was at an old park and I walked to one of the benches.

I plopped myself down on one and began to cry harder. I was so stupid. I completely stupid!
I messed up so bad. Sleeping with Oliver?! What was wrong with me? And still after everything that has happened I still have these feelings that I’ve had for him. I want to be with a liar and a cheater and a fake for all I know?!

My body shook as I sobbed into my lap. “Why?!” I continued to ask myself. “Why?”

Time passed and I stopped crying. The tears had drained the energy from my body, I felt so numb all of a sudden. It’s like life just hated me, because I hated my life now. I didn’t want to just pull away from the awfulness and start over in another place. Different town, another country, on the other side of the world would be great. I could be anywhere but here.

I silently pulled on my heels and started to walk again. I didn’t know where I was going till I was right in front of their front door. I sighed out unevenly, and rapped my knuckle lightly against the door, hopping she still lived here.

The door opened and Ms. Sheehan appeared behind it. She had a smile on her face, but when she looked at me it disappeared.

“Wha’ happened, love?” She said right away. I shook my head, tears building up again. “Come inside, dear.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me in. She lead me into her living room and sat down, pulling me down beside her. “Tell meh wha’ happened, dear.” She said softly brushing the hair from my face. I began to shake from my sobs.

“Oliver Sykes happened.”



I sat on the couch in Ms. Sheehan’s watching the News on the TV. I had the blankets I had used wrapped around my shoulders. I had slept on her couch, instead of going home. I felt like I couldn’t face anyone really.

I heard the clicking of heels and I looked to see Ms. Sheehan walking out of the small room which was hers. She was wearing a light pink dress and her hair was curled up nicely. When she saw me she gave me a sweet smile.

“I’m off to the market then to church.” She said grabbing her bag. “Would yeh like to come?”

I looked down at myself and then at her. “Could you drop me off so I can get ready?”

She nodded. “Of course, dear.” I smiled and stood up folding the blanket and placing it over the back of the couch. I followed her out of the apartment and we went to her small car.

The drive to my house was silent. It made me feel awkward and sad. I stared out the window silently. She knew her way around this town like the back of her hand. So I just gave her my address, and that’s all I said.

She pulled up to the house and Taylor’s car was gone. I sighed and opened my door. “I’ll be back in a ‘alf ‘our.” She said.

“Ok.” I closed my door and hurried to the front door, walking in.

I walked to my room, without seeing anyone. I grabbed the first nice dress I could find, a pair of heels, and new bra and underwear. I picked a few pieces of jewelry and walked into my bathroom, hopping into the shower.

I washed my body and avoided getting my hair wet, since I had no time to dry it. I was out of the shower in about ten minutes. Once I was out I dressed and applied my make-up. I grabbed my phone from the charger where I had left it and walked into my room, grabbing a purse to match my dress and putting all of my stuff in it.

Just as I was done I heard the honking of a car horn. I looked out the window to see Ms. Sheehan parked on the curb. I sighed out softly and opened the door. I started to walk towards her car.

“PAY!” I stopped dead in my tracks to see, Tom running towards me. “Pay.” I bit my lip to try and hold back my tears. I started to walk towards the car again, “Payton!” He grabbed my arm, stopping me. He was out of breath and looked like he hadn’t slept in a while.

“Let me go Tom!” I hissed. When he didn’t let go I yanked my arm free and walked away from him.

“Payton, we’re tryin’ to-”

“Don’t do anything Tom!” I growled turning back to face him. “It’s already been done!” I gripped my bag tightly. “Nothing can change it,” I tried to keep my voice from shaking. “I-I just want to be left alone.”

I turned quickly and hurried to the car. Once I was in, Ms. Sheehan didn’t say anything she just patted my knee, softly before pulling away from my house. The ride to church was quiet. I didn’t want to say anything. I feared I’d begin to cry.

“Payton,” Ms. Sheehan, spoke after she had parked in front of the church. “Yeh’ve seemed to been holdin’ in a lot.” She spoke softly. “‘m a bit worried ‘bout yeh, dear.”

I shook my head. “I-I’m fine.”

She grabbed my hand. “Payton, I want yeh to talk to someone bout things.” She squeezed my hand gently. “Yer like a daughter to meh, I don’ want to lose yeh, but yeh seem to be slippin’ away.”

I gave her a weak smile and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be fine.” I lied.

She sighed and shook her head. “Come, dear. I don’ want to be late.”



“I’m going to go outside,” I said, as they walked around with the offering baskets. “I need some air.” Ms. Sheehan nodded and I got up quickly and made my way out of the hall. I saw a small stone gardened area outside and a bench next to a small pond.

I smiled softly and walked over to it sitting on the little metal bench and watched as the small fish swam around calmly in the waters. I envied them. It’s silly to envy fish, but I did. I envied almost everyone. They were as messed up as I was. I sighed softly crossing my legs and hugging myself. A cool September breeze came through the small garden and blew my hair. It shivered, rubbing my arms trying to keep away the goose bumps.

“Payton?” I turned my head to see Pauly walking out from the church.

I tilted my head slightly. “Pauly?” I stood up and walked towards him. “What are you doing here?”

“Meh mum dragged meh, ‘ere.” He shrugged.

I giggled. “Your 22 and your mom dragged you here?”

He glared. “Shut it.” I smiled slightly and gave him a hug. He hugged me back tightly and we walked over to the pound. “Wha’ are yeh doin’ ‘ere love?”

I shrugged. “I came with an old friend.”

He chuckled. “Church?”

I sat up straight. “I used to be a regular at church!”

He laughed. “Yeh? Church? I can’t see it.” I narrowed my eyes at him and hit his arm. He laughed harder and wrapped his arms around me. I struggled with him but he finally got me in a tight hug.

“Let go you butthead!” I said into his chest.

He chuckled. “Butthead? Really?” He pulled me into his lap. “S’not nice, love.”

I huffed and looked at him. I pouted a bit and crossed my arms over my chest. “Butthead!” He laughed and kissed my forehead.

“Yer such a dork, Payton.” I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder.

The rest of the sermon Pauly and I sat by the pond and talked. He kept my mind off things. He was always good at that. That’s why he was such a great friend.

“Yeh alright love?” He asked finally, as people walked out of the doors.

I nodded. “I’m worried about the man coming next week.” I lied. I had completely forgotten about him. I hadn’t thought about him since the day Tom took me out to eat. I sighed and
rubbed my face. “GAH!”

Pauly smiled slightly and rubbed my back. “Yeh’ll do fine love.” He kissed my temple. “Yer ‘ave amazing talent an’ yeh are an’ beautiful dancer.”

A smile grew across my face and I looked up at him. “Thank you, Pauly.” I hugged him and kissed his cheek. “You’re a great friend.”

He smiled. I laid my head on his shoulder again and the two of us went quiet. “Yeh want to go to the studio an’ put in some practice?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “I would love that.”

Someone cleared there throat and the two of use looked around.

“Feelin’ better, dear?” Ms. Sheehan asked.

I felt my face heat up for some reason and I stood up quickly. “Yes, I am.” I smoothed out my dress. “Umm….Ms. Sheehan this is Pauly. I work with him at the Dance studio. Pauly, this is my old friend Ms. Sheehan.”

Pauly smiled and stood up. He held out his hand. “Nice to meet yeh ma’am.”

She gave a warm smile. “Yeh too, Pauly.” She looked over at me. “Yeh ready too leave dear?”

I bit my lip and looked over at Pauly. “Um…I was going to go with Pauly to the studio and practice for my audition tha’s next week.” I waited for her response.

She sighed and shook her head. “O’reight.” She started to look through her small purse. Once she had found whatever she was searching for she stepped closer to me and kissed my forehead. “I got this for yeh.” She took my hand and place a small little black box in it. “Come buy the shop soon, dear. Yeh promised.”

I nodded slowly before hugging her and telling her good bye. As she walked away I looked down at the small box in my hand curiously. It had to have a ring or something in it. It was small enough to hold one of those.

I held my breath as I pulled the lid open and gasped. A beautiful sliver rings was sitting in the box. The words ‘true love waits’ was craved into the metal band. Happy tears filled my eyes, as I pulled the ring out to look at it better.

“Tha’s beautiful.” Pauly said, coming to my side.

I nodded my head. “It is.” I slipped it onto my left ring finger. It fit perfectly.

Pauly warped his arms around my shoulders, squeezing me. “Yeh ready to go?”

“Yeah.”



“Tha’ was wonderful.” Pauly said, once I had finished again.

I groaned, pushing the sweaty strand of hair from my neck. “I messed up coming out of the turn! I nearly fell!” I dropped myself to the ground and buried my head in my hands.

“But yeh saved yerself!” He argued, walking over to me, he sat next to me placing his hand on my back. “Yeh did great! Why are yeh pushin’ yehself so ‘ard?”

I need to get out of here…now. I thought as I rubbed my temples. “Because I want to do great at this audition.” I sat up, so I was looking him straight in the face.

He chuckled. “Love, yeh’ll do fantastic! Don’t push yerself so ‘ard! Ef yeh stress ‘bout it yeh won’ do as great.”

I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder. “I know.” He kissed the top of my head, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “Can you drive me home?” I asked looking up at him, through my bangs.

“Of course.” He stood up and held out a hand. I took it gladly and he helped me up. The force he used to pull me up as a bit strong and I was pulled straight into his chest. He chuckled as I blushed a light pink.

“Thanks.” I said looking away nervously.

He put his hand under my chin and tilted my head up, his face came close to mine and I felt my face get warmer and warmer. His lips touched the corner of my mouth and my heart nearly gave out.

He pulled away slowly and looked at me. My face was a bright pink. He chuckled. “Let’s get ‘ome, yea?” I nodded and pulled away.

We gathered our things and walked out to his car.

“Yeh look beautiful.” He said breaking the silence as he was drove.

I laughed. “Are you loony?”

The corner of his mouth twitched, slightly threatening to smile. “No, why?”

“Look at me.” I motioned to my sweat covered self. “I’m a mess and I’m covered in sweat! How is that beautiful?”

He laughed and shrugged. “Yeh always look beautiful love.”

I blushed slightly and looked out the window. “Thanks.”

“Yer welcome.” He said as he pulled up to my house. We both said silently as I starred at my hands. He cleared his throat. “So..um….i’ll see yeh Monday then?”

“Um…yea.” I looked up at my house to see a bunch of cars in the drive way. My heart began to race and I panicked. “Would you like to come in?”

He smiled and nodded. “I’d love to.”

We both got out of the car and he locked it. As we walked towards the house, his hand found mine and they weaved together. I didn’t pull away though, it felt nice. I let out a shallow breath before opening the door and walking in. The whole house was quiet, which scared me a bit.

As we walked the only sound was the sound of my heels against the wood floors. I walked into the living room, never letting go of Pauly’s hand. We were met by six set of eyes.

“Hi.” I said softly.

“Lo,” Taylor said from the couch. Matt, Tom and Curtis all exchanged looks. Lily and Delilah
looked lost and worried. “Where yeh been off too? We was worried ‘bout yeh.”

“Tha’s my fault.” Pauly said, quickly. “After church we went to the studio an’ practiced fer ‘er audition.”

“Audition?” Matt said confused.

“Aye, ‘er dance audition next week.”

The room went silent. “Sorry, I was late.” I spoke. “I should have called, but I was to focused and forgot. Sorry I worried you.”

“S’oreight.” Taylor said. The boys nodded. The air was growing awkwarder and tense.

“What the FUCK is going on?” Lily asked confused.

I bit my lip and looked at Tom then at Pauly. I leaned in close to him and spoke so only he could hear. “You want to go lay down in my room and watch some TV or something?” He smiled and nodded.

I smiled slightly then looked over at my friends. “We’re going to go relax in my room.”

“Ok,” Taylor said softly. “Then, um…we’ll talk later then.” I nodded and me and Pauly walked
quickly to my room away from the awkwardness.

“That was uncomfortable.” Pauly said scratching the back of his head. I nodded in agreement pulling off all my jewlary but the small silver ring. “Payton…ef yeh want I can leave.”

“No,” I shook my head quickly. “No, it’s fine Paul.” I grabbed a set of pajama’s. “I’m going to chance quickly. You can pick something on TV to watch.” He sat on my bed and grabbed the remote, turning on the TV as I walked into my bathroom and changed quickly.

Once I was done I folded my dressed and placed in on the counter, so I could deal with it later. I walked back into my room and saw Pauly, lying on my bed. He had pulled off his button up, so he was just wearing his undershirt and his jeans. I smiled and climbed into bed next to him. I curled up against his side and he chuckled.

“Lo, love.” He kissed the top of my head. “I ‘ope yer ok, with Law and Order. Not much was on.”
I snuggled closer to his side and hid a small yawn. “That’s fine.” He kissed the top of my head again.

I fell asleep snuggling close to his side and having one thought go through my mind….Am I using Pauly?