Foolish

After wandering for what felt like an eternity, I decided to go home. As soon as I pulled up in the backseat of the cab I saw Marcus' car parked in the yard.

"How much?"

"$30." He said and I reached into my purse. I took out the money and grabbed my stilettos that were killing my feet. I put them back on and gave him a $50 while getting out of the car.

"Ma'am do you want the change?"

"You can keep it." I closed the door and walked up the driveway while pulling out my key. As soon as I got to the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Marcus was sitting at the kitchen counter drinking the Scotch out of the bottle. I closed the door with a slam and his attention snapped to.

"Mel I was so worried." He started but I interrupted him.

"Before you start with your I'm sorries let me talk."

He nodded so that I could continue.

"You just don't understand how betrayed I feel but then again I should have seen the signs. You never wanted to come home, barely said that you even love me, and the earring that I found in your car. Hell your behavior should have tipped me off. Was she worth it?" I asked.

"No, she wasn't." He answered.

"When did this start?" I asked while putting my things on the kitchen counter.

"Two months ago but she means nothing to me." He said.

"I didn't ask that. What did she give you that I couldn't?" I asked.

"Honestly I don't know." He looked down.

"Do you love her?" I asked him if he said yes then I would be done with this marriage.

"No." I nodded.

"Don't you know for the past couple of hours I was searching deep within myself trying to get up the strength to come home and pack up my shit and leave. I couldn't believe that you would jeopardize 5 years of marriage to a woman that would do anything for you over some slut that works in your office. I just can't leave. I have invested wahy too much time and energy on this marriage and I maybe heartbroken but we will get through this. We have to or it will literally kill me." I said.

I heard him sigh with relief.

"But don't think you are getting off easy. You will be in the guest room and Karrine better be fired by tomorrow morning or there will be all types of hell to pay." I said while grabbing my things and heading upstairs.

***

It's been almost two months since I found about Marcus' affair and I was still hurt about the situation but Lyric was there for me and I kept myself busy. I was at work doing my charts when I felt someone walk by me and stood there. I looked up and saw Nick.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey Nick, what's going on?"

"Want to scrub in on my appendectomy?"

"Sure." I said while putting down the chart.

"Meet me in OR 3 once you scrubbed in." He flashed me that gorgeous smile.

"Okay." I smiled. Nick has been helping me out with my residency which was going flawlessly. I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my marriage because I didn't want to face the fact that maybe it was over. I always had to stay busy or I would have way too much time on my hands and I would end up crying. I felt my phone vibrating in my labcoat so I pulled it out and checked my text.

Are you coming? It was Marcus.

If the hospital isn't really busy then yes.

We really need to talk.

Fine, I will come home.

Okay, I love you.

I didn't answer back, I just silenced my phone and slipped it back into my labcoat. It's not that I don't love him but it was so hard to forgive him being unfaithful. He did everything I asked for. Karrine no longer worked at his firm and he's given me the space that I asked for. Now I didn't even know if it was worth the fight anymore.

Should I stay or should I leave?

***

Later on that night I arrived home tired. Marcus was probably in his office working on a case. I put my medical books on the counter and took off my jacket. I walked upstairs to Marcus' office to see him behind his desk looking at some documents. I leaned against the door frame.

"Hey, you wanted talk?" I asked.

"Come take a seat." He looked up with a sad smile on his face.

I sat down while pulling my hair out of my ponytail.

"So, what's up Marcus?" I asked.

"I know I fucked up big time Mel and I really hate myself for hurting you. You have done nothing to deserve what I did to you. I honestly don't understand how you would want to stay with me."

"Are you trying to leave me after I've forgiven you?" I sat up.

"That's just it you haven't forgiven me. You barely talk to me." He said.

I could feel the frustration and anger building up from trying to bottle up everything.

"Marcus, can we talk about this later? I am physically drained from work and emotionally drained from you." I was standing up.

"Melodie, just please talk to me." He got up and circled the desk to face me. "Just tell me what I can do to make us better."

I felt the tears coming and I just shook my head.

"I don't even know if you can fix this. You have literally broken me and every time I close my eyes I can see you two in bed. It makes me sick to my stomach."

I turned and walked out of the room. I heard his heavy footsteps behind me and then I grab me around the waist and picked me up bridal style.

"Put me down!" I yelled at him. He didn't listen as he walked me into the bedroom. I felt him lay me down and his lips locked with mine. He was so big that I couldn't fight him but apart of me didn't want to. he pulled off his shirt trying to my clothes off. He finally gave up and just took off my pants along with my underwear. He got on his knees and pulled me to the edge of the bed. I felt his tongue caress that sensitive nub and my back arched. he slipped two fingers into me and went to work.

5 minutes later,

After multiple orgasms he came up for air and I felt him slide inside of me as I gripped his back. He started to make slowly make love to me and I for once felt that empty void filling.

"I love you." He whispered into my ear and I couldn't say it back once again.

Afterwards, I was laid in his embrace as he slept. I knew what I needed now more than anything was to leave for a while. I slid out of his embrace carefully only for him to roll onto his back and continue sleeping. I put back on my clothes and started packing up for few days even though I didn't know how long of a time from him. I got a note a pen once I was finished and walked into the bathroom. I scribbled a quick note.

I'm sorry but I just can't trust you anymore. This may be permanent or not but I do love you. I removed my wedding set and walked over to the nightstand. I placed the letter beside him with the ring on top. I leaned down knowing that he was a heavy sleeper and kissed him gently. After that I grabbed my two bags and left the house.

I decided to go to the one person I know that Marcus wouldn't think to look for me. I called Nick with tears streaming down my face.

"Hello?" He answered sounding tired.

"Hey, um Nick it's Mel." I sniffled.

"Hey, what's up? Are you crying?" He woke up a little.

"Yeah, I have no place to go. My husband cheated on me and I tried to stay but-"

"Mel, where are you? Do you want me to come get you?"

"No, could I just meet you somewhere if Marcus wakes up and you are here it's going to be bad. He is a really big guy and he will try to hurt you."

"Okay." He gave me a place to meet him.