The Way We Talk

“So how was work, honey?” Jared asked, serving me a glass of wine. It was our Friday night tradition: dinner at his apartment with a little wine and some quality time together. It was nice, something I really enjoyed.

Jared Evan was one of the newer artists on Interscope Records. I’d met him almost a year ago, while I was interning at Interscope. He wasn’t my type; a guy who leaned more toward the urban side of music, hip hop, rap, everything I didn’t really care for. I stayed away from him at first. But then he started making his advances and after a long while, something happened. We started seeing more of each other and something blossomed into more than friendship. Before long, I was happy again. I’d stopped thinking about them. And it was so freeing. I was smiling without a haunted memory of Jack and Alex fleeting into my head when I was happy.

In June of last year, Jared was officially signed under Interscope and his career was finally going somewhere, and so was my life. I got hired at Interscope permanently and Jared and I were officially together meaning that I was no longer alone.

Jared and I had a very good relationship. We communicated well, spent time together when he was available, didn’t fight often, and in the event that we did fight, it wasn’t an all out screaming match. We talked about our disagreements and worked through them, all without even raising our voices. It was a nice change to the way Jack and I used to fight.

“It was fine, working with a new band that the company wants to hire,” I said dismissively.

“Oh. Anyone we heard of?” Jared asked. I sighed as I slipped off my heels and put my feet up on the table.

“Uh, yeah, All Time Low,” I replied quietly. Jared grinned.

“That’s great! They’re one of your favorite bands, right?” he asked. “Now you get to work with them. That’s awesome.”

I nodded, focused solely on downing the glass of red wine I held in my hand.

Okay, so when I said I had cut ties with anything All Time Low related, I may have been lying. I’d kept up with them; whether it was because I still loved Jack and Alex or if it was because I was really a fan I wasn’t sure. I loved their music, even if we weren’t friends. It spoke to me in a way that I couldn’t describe.

I also realized that I needed to keep up with the boys because I needed to make sure Alex and Jack were okay. I noticed that in many pictures, Jack and Alex seemed much skinnier, which was damn near impossible, but I noticed it. In interviews, Alex did most of the talking, but he’d quieted down mostly. Jack hardly even joked around for the first few months after I ran away. Little by little he’d seemed to improve and for that I was grateful.

Jared didn’t know about this part of my life. I’d put away all year books and graduation pictures in boxes and told Jared that he was not allowed to ask or see photos of me, stating that I was a real nerd and ugly, which was half true. So as far as he knew, I was a fan who’d seen All Time Low perform a few times in Baltimore. I really preferred to keep it this way; it was less embarrassing that way.

Jared joined me on the couch, bringing forks and two plates filled with fish, rice, and vegetables. Jared had me quite spoilt. He did the cooking when he was home, something I was glad for because I didn’t really like to cook. Not that I couldn’t; I just didn’t like it.

He handed one plate over to me and flipped on the television, handing me the remote. I smiled at the automatic gesture. However, my smile was cut short when I directed my gaze to the screen. Low and behold, there was All Time Low, being interviewed. How grand.

“So, All Time Low is now recording a new album, right?” The interviewer asked. I recognized her instantly. It was Stacy, a girl who’d once interviewed All Time Low back when they first started. We’d gotten along quite well. She was a pretty little brunette, wearing a lime green halter top, skinny jeans, and green wedges.

“Yeah, we are. We’ve got tons of songs written and we’re getting ready to bring back the magic,” Alex replied, grinning at her.

My eyes narrowed oddly when I realized that Alex was checking Stacy out and being generally flirty. I rolled my eyes and chastised myself for being slightly jealous. I watched the television again and set my eyes on the guitarist with messy black hair and scruff. I smiled slightly as I studied him. I hadn’t had much of a chance before, but I noticed that he seemed to have gained a little of his weight back.

Stacy directed her next question to Jack. He spoke about the recording process animatedly while the others listened, nodding in all the right places with a bit of awe in their expressions. I found that a little odd, like they were seeing a new side of Jack.

“So which guy do you think is hotter?” Jared asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, which guy has the potential to steal my girl,” Jared teased.

“None of them,” I answered quickly. “They’re not my type. You are.”

“How are neither of them your type?”

“They just aren’t, okay? You’re my type, you’re my boyfriend.”

I ate in silence as we watched the interview.

“So Jack, the last time we spoke, which was about two years ago, right?” Stacy asked.

Oh god, there is no way she’d actually ask about me, right? Jack nodded. “Whatever happened between you and your girlfriend, Ab-”

I grabbed the remote and changed the channel quickly before Stacy could finish saying my name. Jared looked at me confused. “Switch it back! I was interested.”

“No… I don’t feel like watching them anymore,” I countered. Please let it go, I thought.

“No, Abby, I was listening,” Jared replied, taking back the remote and switching it back to the interview. Alex looked extremely uncomfortable, as did Zack and Rian. Jack, however, was very calm and collected.

“Is it some sort of huge secret?” Stacy laughed. “Come on, I’m sure the fans are dying to know.”

Jack smiled a bit and shook his head slightly. “We just kind of went our separate ways, you know? I loved her a lot at one point and she loved me, but we just drifted,” Jack answered carefully.

“Was the split amicable? Do you guys stay in touch?” Stacy prodded. Right about now, I was hoping that nothing would lead Jarred to think I was the one she as talking about and I really wanted to punch Stacy. I bit my lip in anticipation waiting for his answer.

“Uh, we don’t keep in touch. She sort of disappeared,” Jack answered. “But, I’ve been seeing someone else, so…” Jack trailed off.

I stared at the TV screen in shock. He never mentioned that little fact even in passing when we were in the recording studio and we’d called a truce.

“Well, as interesting as that is, and as much as I’d love to talk about it, we’re out of time. Thanks you guys for coming and talking to us. Remember to check out All Time Low’s album, Nothing Personal in stores everywhere.” Stacy said to the camera. A commercial for a college somewhere began playing, but I was too busy trying to process. Of course he’s seeing someone else, I was doing the same. I hadn’t mentioned it either, but you’d think that he’d have said something… anything.

“Are you okay?” Jared asked.

“Yeah I’m fine,” I managed to reply. “Let’s just turn the TV off and enjoy each other’s company.” I turned off the television and finished eating. Hopefully we’d have a nice evening together before he left again.

~*~*~*~

“Abby, your stupid TV show is about to start!” Jared called throughout the apartment. I was finishing up a report Jimmy had wanted by tomorrow. I’d spent my weekend with Jared and now, in the last few hours we had of Sunday, I’d chosen to work on the report.

“It’s not stupid!” I called back. “I’ll be there in a second!” I finished up typing the last few sentences and hit save. I could hear the theme music for Kendra playing. I was utterly addicted to the show and couldn’t help but research the first show Kendra was on; The Girls Next Door. I owned all of seasons 1-5 and had fallen in love with all three of the original girls. Kendra having her own show was amazing and I religiously watched it every week. I ran into the living room and jumped on the couch, settling in to watch Kendra face her new dilemma: Losing her pregnancy weight.

“Why do you watch this anyway?” Jared asked skeptically.

“Because it’s entertaining,” I answered. “Besides, you get to watch Kendra who was a former playmate. So shut up and watch.”

Jared kissed my cheek and settled in to watch with me. I grabbed his hand. “I love you,” I said.

“I love you too, Abby,” Jared grinned.

I grinned right back. I really did love him.
~*~*~*~

“Alright guys, let’s get this process going,” I ordered as I walked into the recording studio in my black stilettos. Today’s outfit consisted of a black and white casual mini dress. The top half was a white sleeveless top with bows on each shoulder and the black skirt was divided by a thick black band belt. I’d pulled my hair back in a loose bun and applied my signature red lipstick with a very neutral eye.

The guys turned to me and stared as if I’d walked in with my top off. “What?”

“Nothing… we’re just not used to seeing you just walk in out of nowhere,” Rian replied not meeting my gaze.

“Well, sorry to be a witch here but you need to get recording,” I told them. I sat at the sound booth and waited for someone to get up and start. I sighed. “Alright, what is it going to take to get you guys to get a move on?”

The boys looked at each other before Alex spoke. “We want to know why you left.” Jack sat up expectantly.

I sucked in a breath trying to decide what the hell I’d say to them. Jack was looking at me intently, waiting for some kind of answer. Even though we’d made a truce, I could still feel the tension between us.

“You know why I left,” I replied quietly, smoothing my dress on my lap.

“No we don’t,” Jack spoke. His eyes held something I couldn’t identify. “You just ran away, like you always do when you have to face something hard.”

“Yeah well what else was I supposed to do?” I stood up to seem a bit more intimidating. “You hated me, Alex hated me, and everyone was looking at me like I was the worst human being in the world. I lost all of my friends. Where would I have been welcome?”

“I didn’t hate you. You were my sister,” Rian said softly. Zack didn’t say anything, but nodded in agreement with the sentiment.

“That’s not the point,” Jack huffed. “You were everything to me.”

I swallowed hard; this was getting too personal. Alex had quieted down watching Jack’s and my exchange. “Now is not the time to discuss this, Jack. We had a truce.”

“Well fuck the truce, Abigail. I want to know why. You left and you changed everything. I couldn’t get a hold of you for shit,” Jack snapped.

“What does it matter anymore? You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?” I shot back. “And I’m in my own relationship.”

Jack’s face fell slightly. “It matters because I need to know.”

“I was embarrassed, Jack. I couldn’t look at you without feeling so guilty,” I gave in. “And Alex, I had to leave you because I knew I was hurting you by still being in love with Jack. But that’s in the past now. I’ve changed. I’m not the same little girl you both fell for. You would’ve never seen me again if you hadn’t been signed here and I was perfectly okay with that. In fact after this, I may reconsider my position here at Interscope.”

Jack scoffed. “Are you serious? You’ll run away again? I thought you were a different person,” Jack mocked.

“Look, I’m not going to deal with this. Either suck it up, and leave me be or tell me how this is going to be and I’ll quit now,” I stated firmly.

“God, you’re so stubborn and infuriating,” Jack spat and walked out the door, giving me a sense of déjà vu. I sighed, sitting back down and putting my head in my hands.

“You know, you’re being selfish,” Alex said as he stood up. “I fucked up everything for you. I lost my best friend. You were only thinking of you when you ran away.” He left, following the same route Jack had.

The familiar sting of water in my eyes surfaced and I willed myself not to cry in front the last two remaining members of All Time Low.

“This isn’t getting any better,” Zack muttered. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

I looked over at them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“We know, Abs,” Rian consoled. “We didn’t want this to be weird, but I guess there isn’t really a choice.”

“Why is it so difficult to do this?” I lamented.

“Because, they kind of have a point, I mean look at it from they’re point of view,” Rian said softly.

“I know what I did was wrong and I understand that I hurt them, but why can’t we get past this?” I said.

“I know, but are you really over it?” Zack asked.

I looked up at him and was ready to say yes, I was over it. But then I remembered the broken looks on both Jack and Alex’s faces, and I realized that maybe I still had feelings for them.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I don’t know anymore. I just really don’t want to fight every day.”

“Then I think that maybe you guys need to seriously sit down and talk about it,” Zack suggested.”You have to face this responsibility if you ever want to fix it.”

“I guess,” I muttered, leaning against the desk.

I had to really fix this. Otherwise, I was in for a lot of problems. My life was just getting oh so much better.