The Way We Talk

“Guys can we all just sit down and talk this out. Please?” I pleaded.

I had found Jack and Alex sitting outside on the curb. They both had their head placed in their hands and were breathing deeply.

The first eyes to meet me were the chocolaty brown eyes that I had grown so fond of.

“I’ll talk this out if you swear to be completely honest Abs.” Alex sighed.

“I swear! Jack?” I asked.

His black orbs store into mine for a few seconds. I watched him nod slightly, his hair shook when he did this. I couldn’t help but notice that it had gotten a bit longer, it looked good jet black, and the scruff on his face really complimented it all.

“Why’d you leave Abby. Whole truth.” Alex mumbled.

“I- I well, see sometimes you-“

“ABBY! Quit beating around the bush. Just say it.” Jack snapped.

“Urm, well- I was- UGH. I was in love. But with both of you. I knew I couldn’t handle the pain of choosing one of you so I ran away from it. Jack, me and you had this amazing history, but I couldn’t trust you anymore. Alex swooped in and he started making me smile, and making me feel special, he made me feel GOOD. I wanted you both, but I couldn’t have that.” I sighed.

The tears began to pour out of my eyes and I could feel the large lump take place in my throat. Jack and Alex were both staring at the ground blankly.

“I guess it’s my turn to ask a question then..” I sighed.

“Why did you cheat on me Jack?”

Jack looked up at me and shook his head violently.

“We’re not going to talk about this!!” he mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. Anger was ripping through me.

“YES we are Jack! If you would have never cheated none of this would have ever fucking happened! Your such an asshole! You don’t see that YOU caused this! It was you Jack, YOU!” I sneered.

“Calm down Abs.” Alex sighed.

“Alex! Just shut up!” I snapped.

He threw his hands up in surrender and began to stare at Jack awaiting his response.

“This is awkward to talk about in front of Alex okay…?” he sighed.

“Jack, you tell him everything.” I sighed.

“It doesn’t matter. This is just private and I don’t want to offend you by saying anything like that in front of Alex.” He said.

“Just say it. I love Alex and trust Alex. He can know.” I snapped.

I was growing frustrated. I just wanted to know why Jack had put me through that world of hurt years ago.

“Things were just getting boring Abs… I loved you, I LOVE you. You just were never adventurous and the sex- WHEN we did it every once in a blue moon- began to be boring. I am a man. I have a penis; I need that kind of attention Abs.” he shrugged.

“Wow..” I began to hysterically laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” Jack questioned.

“Because! You are such an asshole! God Jack…. To think I wasted so much time on you. You cheated on me because you wanted more sex. You could have just TOLD me! It obviously didn’t take much for me to fuck Alex!” I threw my hands in the air.

I was bewildered. All of this because we didn’t have enough sex.

“Hey!” Alex said with a hurt look on his face.

“Alex, I never said that it wasn’t amazing and the BEST sex I have ever had, I’m just saying it doesn’t take much to get me aroused. Which Jack never did. He just wanted to get it in whenever he felt like it.” I sneered.

Jack was watching Alex and I with a look of disgust on his face. I glared back at him.

“The fact that you guys had sex is so repulsing.” Jack fake gagged.

“Well, it happened. And now we all have to get over it.” I ran my fingers through my hair. The crying had seized and I was beginning to regain composure.

The guys remained quiet for what felt like eternity. I finally got the courage to speak up again.

“I’m sorry” I croaked “Sorry for hurting you both. Sorry for throwing our relationship down the drain, Jack. Sorry for not giving us a shot at love, Alex. I’m sorry for it all. I have regrets up the ass, but there is nothing I can do about it now. It happened and we have to deal with it and be mature and civilized around eachother. Alright?” I pleaded.

The guys stayed quiet for a little while longer than they both nodded. We all stood up and gave each of the tall boys a hug and we returned to the studio.

********

My heart skipped a beat as I looked down at the piece of paper that was sitting on my kitchen counter. I took a small sip of my wine and picked the piece of paper up. Rian had left the 10 digit number in my purse with a little note.

Abby,
Call him. He deserves it. Jack misses you more than life itself.

Below that was the phone number. It hadn’t changed from when we were dating so I would’ve never needed this note. Jack’s number was burned into my brain. I could be the strong courageous girl I had become and call him, or I could be the puss I used to be and just send him a text.

I decided not to be formal and go with the latter proposition. Calling him would be too awkward, and who knows he could be with his girlfriend. So many thoughts were running through my head as I typed the small simple message.

Jack,
I truly am sorry. I miss you a lot. Maybe we can get together just you and I before you guys leave for tour.
-Abby.

I waited a couple minutes just staring at the phone. I was worried maybe he was laughing at me. Maybe he thought I was stupid to think he’d ever want to hang out with me after what I did. Or maybe he was out having sex with some chick and didn’t really care that at this point I needed him. Inside of me the old Abby was crying out for him. My heart ached by the thought of him not being with me. That’s all I wanted. I wanted to be in the presence of the only man I’ve ever truly been in love with for just a while. Even if we just had a glass of wine and chatted about the weather, my heart would be content.

My phone began to buzz mid thought and I jumped slightly. I slid the unlock bar open on my phone and read the text from that oh-so-familiar number.

Abs. I don’t know about you, but I really need to be around you right now. I miss you too. More then you could ever imagine. Can I come over to your house?

I sighed softly. If Jared ever knew about this he wouldn’t be too happy. Yet, I granted Jack permission and texted him the directions to my apartment.