Whatever It Takes

“Are you sure?” Marissa asked Arianna one last time and she turned to check herself out in front of the mirror. Arianna titled her head as she starred at her friend’s outfit “put these hoops on”. She walked over to her jewelry box and took out a pair of silver earrings and handed them to Marissa.

Marissa accepted them gratefully, shooting her friend a questioning look as she put them on. “Please come,” she said as she turned to see her reflection again. They were in Arianna’s room and suppose to be getting ready for a night out. Marissa had called her early this morning and told her that their group of friends was in need of a reunion.

What she didn’t say though was that she orchestrated this night in hopes of getting Arianna to cheer up. She had been quiet and reserved, forcing smiles and laughter yet never fully having the light return to her eyes since their return from Chicago 3 weeks before. Marissa was determined to get her friend back to her old self, no matter what.

“Honestly, I just want to stay home” Arianna replied, as she lay down across her bed. “I’m so tired. I’ve been so busy with school and work. And I went to the gym today” Arianna explained as Marissa raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m fine…don’t start” Arianna continued, “I just need a good night in. Watch some Sleepless in Seattle or the Breakfast Club and just veg out”.

Marissa opened her mouth to speak but was suddenly cut off by a ringing sound coming from Arianna’s open laptop. Arianna leaned over in bed to look at her screen, seeing Patrick calling her through iChat. Her face scrunched up in confusion; they hadn’t spoken in a few days. Since she had left Chicago, they had barley spoken at all actually.

He had called her a few days after she left and apologized for how he acted, saying he had been a jerk. She begged him to drop it, telling him she was completely fine and actually felt great by getting it off her chest (a total lie) and just wanted to move on (really? Did she?).

After that conversation, interaction between them had become limited. It took everything in her to not call him or text him, but she knew she needed to do it to move on. He didn’t reach out to her as much hoping that she would be able to get over him and allow them to be friends again. So they spoke once in a while, just for the sake of putting their hearts at ease by hearing from the other one. Yet they had not iChatted since before her trip to Chicago.

Arianna inhaled deeply as she clicked “Answer”, her breath caught in her chest waiting to see his face and familiar blue eyes. As the screen opened and expanded she was surprised to see the warm smiling face and brown eyes of someone she missed almost as much as Patrick.

“Jon!” she cried out, as a smile spread across her lips. “I have a question for you,” he began, his face instantly lighting up as he saw her, “what the fuck are you doing home on a Saturday night at 9 on the computer?”.

She giggled and shook her head; typical Jon, he always had to know everything. “I’m helping Marissa get ready to go out” she replied, as she noticed his surroundings to be Patrick’s house. “Oh…tell her I say hi,” he said quickly as his eyes scanned the screen.

Marissa popped up behind Arianna’s shoulder, “Hi Johnny!” she cried as she blew him a kiss. Arianna could see a slight blush spread across his cheeks until he shook his head slightly and caused it to vanish. She honestly had no idea what was going on between these two. Just as she went to say something witty to Jon, she heard a male voice from behind him that froze her in place.

“What are you doing?” Patrick asked Jon, as half his body was visible on screen. “Talking to Arianna, say hi” Jon replied as he titled the screen up slightly so Patrick could see.

“Ari!” Patrick cried, a little more enthusiastically than he intended to. He couldn’t help it though. Seeing that smile that lit her whole face up into a warm glow made his heart melt. He felt his heart drop into his stomach as he reminded himself he couldn’t have her. “What you up to?” he asked more calmly, as he took a seat beside Jon on the couch.

“Hi Pat” she replied coolly, although her palms had begun to sweat. “Nothing really just helping Marissa get ready to go out”. She glanced at Marissa who stood behind the computer screen, fixing her hair. She knew she was only pretending to fix it; her real focus was on paying attention to the conversation between Arianna and Patrick.

“Aren’t you going too?” Jon asked, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Nope” Arianna responded, “I’m staying home tonight”. She suddenly felt like an idiot, wondering why she hadn’t lied and said she had an exciting evening planned. Now Patrick for sure thinks I’m a loser, she thought as she silently cursed at herself.

“Why not?” Patrick asked concerned, although he felt a tinge of happiness to know she wasn’t going out and hooking up with any other guys tonight. “Don’t know, just really tired. Been so busy with school and work, I need a night to myself…as much of a loner that makes me” she joked as she pushed a piece of fallen hair out of her face.

“What about you boys? What are you up to?” she asked, hoping to change the subject away from her. “Oh nothing really. Quiet night as well. Just hanging out,” Patrick said, his eyes suddenly shifting away from the computer. Arianna felt herself grow suspicious as she saw Patrick become uncomfortable. She was going to ask what was wrong until her question answered itself.

“Patrick, do you know if I left my heels here the other day? I can’t find them and I’ve looked every where…” Jamie’s voice said from the other side of the screen. Arianna saw her walk right behind the boys, searching vigorously threw the closet behind them.

She looked even better than Arianna remembered, sending her heart to crack as she watched Patrick’s cheeks turn red. He’s embarrassed that he got caught, she thought, as she suddenly understood.

They were for sure seeing each other again; it made sense. And he was nervous because he knew she hadn’t moved on yet. He was trying not to hurt her, which if anything, made her hurt more. I look like such a loser, she told herself, as she shifted in her seat, growing more uncomfortable.

“Uh, Jamie, I think I saw some in the hallway…let me show you” Jon said suddenly, as he got up and shot Patrick a look off screen. He bent his head back down to look at the camera, “I miss you A” was all he said before he walked out of the room.

The silence between Arianna and Patrick was deafening, neither one knew what to say or do. Patrick’s brain raced with thoughts and ideas of what he should say. How would he explain this? It wasn’t what it seemed…not really at least. He had started to hang out with Jamie more, but just as friends. It was his way of keeping his brain busy in order to stop himself from thinking of Arianna. A piece of him urged his brain to tell her the truth, explain to her that he was still thinking of her.

“I’ve got to go Pat,” Arianna said suddenly, stopping him before he could make a decision on what to say. “It was nice seeing you,” she continued, as she looked at his face on screen, memorizing every detail before they said goodbye. “Yeah I know…I’ve missed you,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. He silently cursed himself, as the words left his lips.

Arianna’s eyes glittered a little at the comment, yet pain shot through them as well. “Me too…Tell everyone there I say hi and I miss them” she responded as she went to close the screen. “Bye Patrick”.

She closed the screen quickly and shut down her laptop. She looked at Marissa, who stood by her bed with a sad expression. “I’ll stay home with you” Marissa said, as she took off her shoes and sat down on the bed.

Arianna laid herself down on her back, starring at her ceiling. “No, go have fun” she told her as she let her eyes fixate on a spot on the wall. “I just really want a night to myself,” she continued as she sat up slightly to look at Marissa. She saw the doubt in her eyes, “I promise, I’m ok,” she continued as she shot her a small smile.

***

Marissa had finally left an hour ago, and Arianna had never been happier to see her best friend go. Truth was, she had been miserable ever since that talk with Patrick and all she wanted now was to be alone and sulk in her misery. Seeing him had done no good in helping her move forward. It even surprised her a bit how much harder it had been than she imagined.

She lay in bed, wiping her eyes with Kleenex to remove the tears from her face. Watching Love, Actually probably wasn’t the best idea, but it was her favorite movie. She had the house to herself as her brothers and parents were out and about. She ejected the movie from her DVD player and contemplated bed or another movie. She glanced at the clock: 10:50 pm.

There was no way she was sleeping tonight, so she began to rummage through her collection of movies. She needed something to make her laugh. As she pulled out some of her favorite comedies, she heard her phone start to ring. She glanced at it curiously as she walked over and picked it up.

“Hello?” she asked, as she walked back over to the movies. “Hey, sorry to be calling you so late…you weren’t sleeping were you?” Jordan’s soft voice asked from the other end. “No no, don’t worry. Just watching a movie,” Arianna responded, suddenly growing nervous. She had never responded to his text message in Chicago and had done a pretty good job of avoiding him lately.

She heard her doorbell ring and frowned; she wasn’t expecting anyone. “So how’s the night out going? From what I heard Marissa said it should be amazingly fun” Arianna asked Jordan, hoping to make small talk to avoid the awkwardness that was sure to ensue.

She walked down the flight of stairs and towards the door, her curiosity growing. “I didn’t go” Jordan said simply, as Arianna finally reached her door. “Why not?” she asked as she unlocked the lock and turned the doorknob, pulling the door open.

She felt her mouth drop open for a spilt second, before she forced it shut. Jordan stood in front of her (looking more handsome than she remembered), holding a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in one hand and a few movies in the other. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you out with everyone?” she asked him, confused and intrigued as to why he was on her doorstep.

“I had gone out with everyone and then Marissa told me you weren’t coming,” he explained, as he blushed slightly. “I asked her why and she said you were having a rough night,…” he continued, as he glanced down at his feet. “So I thought I’d swing by and see if there was anything I could do to cheer you up” he finished as he finally looked back up at her.

Although she didn’t mean to, Arianna could feel a smile spread across her lips. “Jordan, that’s so sweet. But you really didn’t have to…come in” she responded, as she pulled the door open more and let him in. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but maybe this would be the perfect distraction.