Green and Gray

It was another week and two more dates before Landon asked me to officially be his girlfriend. I accepted the request almost immediately. I didn't feel the need to think about John at the time because I hadn't heard from him since our three hour long phone call the previous week. I probably should have thought Landon's request over more thoroughly before accepting, but I was caught up in the moment. So caught up that we ended up in bed together at my apartment.

I tried to tie myself over with not feeling guilty about John by telling myself he didn't deserve me. If he cared, he would have been trying to keep better contact with me and not just randomly calling or texting me. Landon was there. John was not. It seemed logical in my head. I didn't stop to consider the fact that John most likely would have taken the time to get to know me if he wasn't on tour. My stubborn mind thought Landon was the right one.

“You know, I really like Landon.” Ryver said to me a week after I had officially been his.

The L'Amour sisters were sitting around a table at Clover's big house she shared with her fiance, Jordan, cake testing. I felt sorry for Jordan seeing as he was left alone with four gossiping sisters. He definitely would have rather been at work, but unlucky for him, Clover scheduled it on his day off.

“When did you meet him? How come I haven't met him?” Winter exclaimed, offended. I rolled my eyes at her reaction then took a bite of the white cake with strawberry filling. Typical Winter to get offended if she was left out of the group.

“I haven't met him either, Win. Calm down.” Clover said then turned her attention to Jordan to discuss the chocolate cake she was testing.

“Jenn and I ran into them the other night when they were at Red Robin. We ended up sitting with them and eating dinner together.” Ryver's explanation seemed to be good enough for Winter.

“Tell us about him.” Closer said to Ryver once her attention was fully on us again. I sat there and listened to my sister's talk about my boyfriend.

“He's tall and has this mop of brown hair. You can definitely tell he's British by the way he dresses.”

My brow furrowed and I spoke up for the first time, “What does that mean?”

Ryver rolled her eyes, “He dresses extremely well and, well... British.”

I gave her a look then took a bite of the lemon cake. Immediately my face scrunched up in disgust, “This cake is a no.” I said to Jordan, who was sitting across from me.

He nodded with a laugh, “I agree; it's horrible.” I pushed the plate off to the side and pulled a chocolate piece in front of me, all the while trying to focus on the ramblings of my sisters.

“He's good-looking, right? British guys are so attractive.” Clover sighed, dreamily and Jordan shot her a dirty look that she paid no attention to.

“Well, I guess.” Ryver stumbled out, “I like vagina, I don't know.”

“I like penis, but I'd still fuck Natalie Portman.” Winter exclaimed.

“Oh my God! She is gorgeous! I'd definitely sleep with her.”

“Babe!” Jordan yelled at his fiance's antics. I watched on in amusement, keeping my mouth shut.

“Don't worry, Sweetie, I'll let you join after a while.” He rolled his eyes at her then shot me an annoyed look.

I chuckled as I brought the white cake with strawberry filling back in front of me. After another bite, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, “You could always ask me to see a picture.” I slid the phone over to them so they could go through my photo album.

Winter and Clover huddled around the device, anxious to see a picture of my new boyfriend. It felt sort of strange to call him that. “Is that him?” Winter asked in shock.

“He is definitely British.” I rolled my eyes at Clover's comment then took a bite of the cake.

“Well hello! Who is this?!” Winter cried with a smirk.

I looked at her with one of my eyebrows raised and my fork halfway to my mouth. She extended the phone out to me. Ryver craned her neck to see as well.

On the screen was the only picture I got of John and I the two days I saw him. It was after our first kiss in the hallway of the venue. We were sitting on one of the couches in the dressing room practically on top of each other. His arm was draped over my shoulders and my hand was resting on his skinny thigh. We were both smiling brightly at the lens and couldn't have looked happier. There were only a handful of pictures where I looked that happy and that was the most recent one.

“That's, uhm, John.” I answered awkwardly.

All three of my sisters immediately brought the phone in to examine the photo. “Who took the picture?” Ryver asked, glancing at me then back at the screen.

“His bandmate, Garrett, did.”

“You look really happy in this picture. I can't remember the last time I've seen you smile this big.” Winter said sadly.

“Senior year was the last time I smiled like that.” At once, all three of them looked up from my phone and gave me looks of sympathy. I shrugged.

“He looks happy, too.” Winter observed.

“Look at that bone structure. Damn.”

“Babe.” Jordan said again, but she waved him off. He rolled his eyes once more.

I smiled lightly at their behavior. Clover and Jordan were definitely in love despite how different they were. They were a lot like our parents in the sense that she was very much of a free spirit while he just followed whatever she did. Sometimes it seemed as if he loved her more than she loved him, but that wasn't the case at all. I knew Clover would risk everything for Jordan.

“When was the last time you talked to him?” Winter asked as she passed my phone back to me.

“Two weeks ago.” I think the fact that I didn't have to think about it made them look at me the way they did.

Slowly, they started going back to what they were doing. “Oh, really?” Ryver asked slowly and I nodded. “Does he know about Landon?”

“Uh, no.”

“Well don't you think you're kind of stringing him along?” Clover questioned cautiously, not knowing how I would react to her question. I shrugged and stayed quiet.

“You need to tell him, Sparrow.” Ryver practically demanded.

My brow furrowed, “Why? It's not like we're dating or something. We hardly talk. I've talked to him a total of three times since he left on tour.” It felt as if I was telling myself these reasons instead of them.

Ryver stared at me with a look of shock on her face, “He's on tour, Sparrow. He can't exactly talk to you every second of the day.”

I rolled my eyes, “But I'm sure he could find some time somewhere in two weeks to send me a quick text message asking me how I am.” Ryver rolled her eyes right back at me, but stayed silent as she crossed her arms over her chest. It seemed as if our conversation was over.

“What if John never left for tour, would you be with him? What would have happened if he was home when Landon walked in the store that day? Would you have agreed to his date?” Winter asked as she played with her piece of lemon cake.

Everyone looked at me, waiting for my answer, even Jordan. My shoulders dropped and I slumped against the table. I didn't like thinking about what would have happened if John wasn't on tour. It was all a bunch of “what ifs” that I would never know the answer to. But deep down I knew I would have chosen John.

“I don't know.” I lied.

“I think you do.” Ryver spoke up again.

“I can't change the past you guys. This is what's going on and if it was a mistake then that's my problem. I'm with Landon and nothing will stop that.” I stated firmly. I didn't know if I was telling myself more than them. I only hoped what I said was true.

It was silent in the kitchen other than the occasional scraping of forks against plates. Soon enough, though, we were back to talking about wedding plans and things associated with them. Their wedding wasn't taking place until the beginning of April, but Clover couldn't wait to get the planning out of the way so she could relax.

I stayed quiet the rest of the session, only throwing my two cents when it was needed. My mind was preoccupied with John again. Had I made a mistake letting Landon into my life? Time would only tell. The Maine were due back in a week and a half and I decided, then, to ignore all of John's calls and texts; I needed to focus on Landon – my boyfriend.