The Sun Also Sets

Hayden waited patiently outside the school. She was perched up on a single rock that was just big enough for her to sit comfortably on. It was hot outside and she was tired after an excruciating soccer practice.

And Eric was late.

Much like he had been the past few times he promised to pick her up. He had just gotten his license and most of their friends still didn’t have theirs. He naturally gained a lot of new friends. He seemed to be going through a transition phase, like he was trying to experience new people.

Hayden and John were always his best friends, and they understood his point to branch out. But if he kept leaving her out like this, they would have to have a serious talk.

Just as she was about to take out her cell phone she heard her name being called.

“Reynolds?”

She stood and walked towards John’s truck, “Well, well, well. Inherited your grandpa’s truck?”

He grinned, “Want to take it for a spin?”

“It’s funny that you think I wouldn’t insist,” she said, “I do need a ride home though.”

“No problem,” he said, reaching over to open the door.

“Did you just get out of practice too?” she asked.

“Yep, since we lost our game yesterday coach felt the need to make us run the whole time,” he said.

“Same here. Except it’s really stupid for baseball to have to run miles. How much do you guys run? Like 360 feet? At least soccer takes stamina,” she said.

“Talk to me when you have the patience to stand still for about four hours. The mind game is the worst part,” he said, “And soccer is boring anyways.”

“Are you kidding!?” she laughed, “You just said that all you do is stand still. At least we are always moving.”

“Do you want to walk home?” he asked.

“No,” she muttered, crossing her arms.

“Why didn’t Halvo pick you up?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Hayden shrugged, “I can’t wait until I turn sixteen and can get my license.”

“Wait, wait,” he said, “You’re going to let him get off the hook that easy?”

“No way. This is the third time he’s stood me up. He’s about to get beat,” she told him, “But that’s just between you and I.”

John laughed, “Want to get some food? My treat.”

“Gladly,” she smiled. John pulled into a fast food place. She only ordered a salad but John ordered an extra fry because apparently she needed some meet on her bones.

“You deserve better than Halvo,” he said through bites.

“He’s your best friend,” she laughed.

“Yeah but if I was a girl, I would never date him,” John said.

“Would you date you?” she countered.

He smiled a little, “I would marry myself.”

“And that is why you will never get a serious girlfriend,” Hayden laughed.

“I’m just saying, you should think about moving on,” he said.

“So he’s made some mistakes. But so have I,” Hayden said, letting John know exactly what she meant.

But he wasn’t going to let her brush it off that easy. “You mean when we kissed last month?”

“Shh, John,” she said, looking around to insure no one was listening.

“You told me that you’d break up with him if it meant you wouldn’t lose me,” he said.

“Am I losing you, John? Because ever since you got that out of your system we seem to be doing fine,” she said.

“Maybe I’m good at faking it,” he challenged.

“Or maybe you realized that you’re not in love with me?” she said, “And realized that I’m not in love with you.”

“Oh, is that so?” he asked.

“Yeah, it is,” she told him as she scrunched up the wrapping and stood to throw it away.

He stood too and threw away his trash. They walked back to his car and Hayden slammed the door shut. The ride was silent, there wasn’t even music coming through the speakers.

“I’m sick of this fight, John,” Hayden finally said.

“Me, too,” he said, “Maybe someday you’ll finally realize I’m right.”

They finally arrived at her house. She moved to open the door but John locked it. She looked at him, “I can just do it manually.”

But when she tried he locked it again. She looked at him, angry, “John O’Callaghan, unlock this door.”

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

“I don’t love you!” she shouted.

He moved in quickly and grasped her face in his hand, kissing her sweetly. And she kissed him back.

He pulled away but their foreheads stayed touching, “Tell me again.”

She closed her eyes and gathered her composure. She put her hands on either side of his face and lifted her lips to his forehead. And that was all he needed before she climbed out of his car.

“Come on, Hayden! Just come out,” Kelsey begged.

“It looks bad,” she said form behind the curtain.

“Let me be the judge of that,” Kelsey said.

Finally Hayden opened the curtain and showed off her scantily clad body. It was just a simple dress but she was not in the routine of dressing up for things anymore. And everything felt so uncomfortable compared to the sweats she had been accustomed to.

But Kelsey forced her to go shopping for nice clothes to wear at her graduation tomorrow.

“You look hot!” Kelsey said, looking her up and down, “You have to buy it.”

“You think so?” Hayden asked, surveying herself in the mirror and slowly coming around to the form fitting jumper.

“Yes. It’ll be like my graduation present. Now go get dressed,” she said.

Hayden did as she said and then bought the outfit. She and Kelsey walked around a little more before meeting up with Kennedy and beginning the walk to the car.

“Did you get something?” he asked.

“Sure did,” Hayden smiled, “Thanks for bringing me with you, you guys.”

“No problem. Eric and John have been holding you hostage so we had to break you away,” Kelsey said.

“Thanks for that. They were starting to drive me crazy,” she said as she climbed in the backseat of the car. “But how have you been, Kenny?”

“Pretty great,” he said, “I’m actually in the process of helping Kristen move in.”

“Wow… you guys are moving pretty quickly,” she said, trying not to sound judgmental.

“Yeah, but I’m hoping my gut feeling is right,” he said, “We’ll see.”

The whole conversation was awkward. It was as if they had never kissed or been on their way to maybe something more. But she couldn’t blame him, because it’s not like it was the main thing on her mind either.

She and John had been spending time together. Never alone, and she wasn’t sure if that was on purpose. Halvo hadn’t ever left them, but they never asked him to. It was unspoken. She felt nervous around him, but less because of the damage and more because of the unruly butterflies in her stomach.

It was like she was a kid again. But then her mind always traveled back to the fact that their relationship would never be the same, and it broke her heart all over again.

They all made small talk before they dropped her off at the house. She found Eric in the living room.

“Hey girl!” he greeted, “Hungry? I can’t finish this sandwich.”

She joined him on the couch and ate the rest of his food. “How was shopping?”

“Good. I got something nice,” she told him.

“Something nice for me, right?” he smiled.

“Maybe,” she shrugged.

John came in through the front door and moved towards them, taking a potato chip off of the plate in Hayden’s lap, “You guys want to do something tonight?”

“I would really like to hang out with our other friends,” Hayden said.

“That’s cool,” Halvo said, “We’ve pretty much watched every movie we own. I guess we can go out and make friends.”

“Why are you so anxious to get away from us, huh?” John asked, poking her side.

“Not anxious, just wishful,” she smiled.

John shook his head, “I’m going to shower. Don’t miss me too much, Hayden.”

Hayden laughed. When they were younger he and Eric always teased her that she was too attached to them, so every time they left they begged her not to miss them too much. They were getting back to old times. She really didn’t mind hanging out with them, especially not John.

It was like things were becoming some semblance of what used to be, especially with the way he made her feel.

“I’ll try,” she said, apparently blushing.

Eric’s eyes went wide and he stood up, waiting to speak until John was in the bathroom. He pointed his finger in her face, “Oh my God you love John!”

“What?” she spoke defensively.

“You totally do! Oh praise God I am so tired of this sexual tension!” he said.

“There is no sexual tension, Eric. I don’t love John,” she said.

“Mm… yes, yes you do. And that is totally okay,” he said.

“No, it’s not!” she said, “John will never love me the same.”

“Oh don’t be so humble, Hayden. He never stopped loving you,” Halvo said.

“Every time he sees me, he sees his dead little sister, Eric,” she said brashly, “We’ll never be the same.”

“Oh just shut up!” he yelled, “You’re out of therapy and you made it through. You know that it wasn’t your fault and so does John. You are not the victim, and I know exactly what you’re thinking.”

“Oh really? What’s that?” she asked, getting angry now.

“You think you don’t deserve his love.”

She hesitated before speaking again, “Damn straight that’s what I think.”

“Are you joking, Hayden!? Don’t tell me you’re back to that place. Sit and think about it, don’t just say the first thing on your mind because it’s what you’re used to,” he said.

She didn’t speak again for several minutes. He was right. It had become a conditioned response. She supposedly thought everything was wrong. But things were better now; she had taken so many steps to make them better. “Maybe I can just find someone else to love. Maybe we were never meant to be.”

Halvo sighed in frustration and sat down next to her on the couch. And then he did the last thing she expected.

He kissed her.

She pulled away instantly out of pure shock, but he put his hand around the back of her neck, “Kiss me back.”

“Eric-” she protested.

But he attached his lips to hers and she complied as they moved in unison. After a few seconds she moved her hands through his hair fluidly. She knew what he was trying to accomplish, and she was grateful. So why not take advantage of the best way to thank him?

Just as her lips spread into a smile against his they heard a throat clear. They pulled away and looked up to see John staring blankly at them.

“Shit.” Eric said.

And then John left the room without a word and Hayden stood to chase after him. But before she got too far she reached for Eric’s hand. He clutched hers and she put her forehead against his.

She scrunched up her nose and smiled, “Thank you.”

He touched her cheek gently and smiled, “Any time.”

She went for the door and Halvo called after her, “Seriously, Hayden—any time.

Hayden laughed before running down the stairs. She looked for John to see if he was smoking in his usual spot, but he wasn’t there. So she got in her car and drove to the next place she knew he’d be.

She arrived at the park they were both so familiar with and found him sitting at the bench that had their initials carved into it somewhere. She approached him carefully and sat down with ample space between them.

Now she started to panic as she was so unsure if he would accept her explanation.

“Can I explain?” she asked.

“I mean, I’m totally not surprised. You guys got so close when you were in the hospital and I wasn’t there for you. It’s natural for you to fall for him,” he said, staring at his hands in his lap.

She actually laughed out loud, “You are absolutely insane, O’Callaghan.”

“What?” he asked.

“I could never be in love with Halvo. Didn’t we establish that in high school?” she asked.

He smiled a little but then looked at her, “So you guys just make out because you’re friends?”

“Yes.”

“Come on, Hayden. Be honest with me,” he begged.

But she didn’t want to. She knew giving him the reason would be the only way out but it meant completely laying her heart out. But as she looked into the desperate emerald eyes of the man in front of her she didn’t care anymore.

“He kissed me to show me that I can never love someone the way I love you.”

John looked at her. She waited for his face to break into a smile, or for him to kiss her or at least embrace her in some fashion. Instead he stood up and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“I—uh, I’ll see you at home,” he said before practically running off.

“John, don’t leave.”

He gave her a look she didn’t understand. Was he apologizing? But she never got an answer because he was gone just as quickly as it took her to express her feelings.

So she was left in the park where she had come as a kid to escape the realities of life. And now in this same park was where reality was smacking her in the face, telling her that no matter how good things seemed, some things were maybe impossible to salvage.