Social Suicide

Billie wasn't in the mood to socialize after the show that night. He'd done well in the show, shutting himself off from the real world for the two some hours while he was on stage. When he exited the stage and hopped on the bus to go to the hotel his mind again wandered to the subject of Willa and the upcoming birth of their child.

Knowing that he had a guest, Billie had to act accordingly. When it came time to go out to a bar with the others, he took his shower, put on the clothes that he'd saved to wear that night, and had escorted Jackie on their night out on the town as if nothing was wrong. In the car on the way over to the club she'd held onto his hand. She had been staring at him strangely, but he just smiled at her and tried to keep the subject of conversation far away from that day and the woman who had just thrown his life permanently upside down.

The tension radiating from the other guys was still present, but after a few drinks he didn't care. He kept Jackie at arms length and tried to party with everyone as if everything was okay, all the while his brain was still trying to process the information that had been thrown at him that afternoon.

"You okay?" Jackie said into his ear as the bass from the music bumped around them. Her arms were around him and she was hugging herself to him in the crowded bar. Usually she wasn't that clinging, but since he'd been keeping her close to him that night Billie figured that she was getting the signal that he wanted to be with her that night.

It was something that he wanted, but at the same time that wasn't his first reason for keeping her close to him. He wanted her to be there to remind him that he shouldn't be thinking about Willa. He needed to have fun and party and he could deal with Willa the next morning.

Billie took a sip of his drink. He almost didn't taste the thing in his cup anymore. He'd totally forgotten what he'd ordered last, but it looked like some kind of cola which meant that it was probably just a rum and coke. He nodded his head when he noticed her still watching him then leaned and kissed her since her mouth was close to his. It wasn't an overly intrusive kiss, just a quick one that showed that he was thinking about her without making it too obvious to the public what he was thinking about her.

He kissed his way along her jaw line and up towards her ear. "Now I am," he said in a heavy voice leaning into her so that she could hear him.

Jackie wrapped her arms around him as he began to suck on her earlobe. He let out a big sigh and cringed a little as he nibbled on the lobe of her ear. "You're crazy, you know that?" she asked.

"Not crazy. Not crazy at all," he said with a lazy tone. "Unless you think that it's crazy for me to want to be with my girlfriend tonight."

"No," she said.

"See then," he smiled against the sensitive skin along her neck.

"Billie?" she pulled back from him for a minute. "What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know," he said with a smile and kissed her chin then trailed his kisses up to her neck, where he knew he'd get a giggle out of her if he kissed her just right, "Maybe it's your perfume."

She cringed a little as his kiss tickled her. "Maybe it's all that alcohol."

"All what alcohol?" He said with a laugh pulled a little ways away from her to give her a smile. "I've been good. I'm thirty-thirty. I can legally drink what I want to."
"I'm not saying that. I just think its time to stop," she said.

"Why is that?" He asked trying to make a serious expression. He found it really hard to be in her arms and not smile and somehow that shouldn't have been a burden to him, but it was.

"Because I think you've had enough," she said as she lifted his glass from his hand. Billie grabbed for it back, got his hand around it again, but accidentally spilling some on her.

"Great." she said with an annoyed look at him.

"I'm sorry," he said giving her a pouting look that he'd sometimes had seen Mike give Sarah when he got in trouble with her. Usually Mike could weasel his way out of things with that look. He wasn't sure that it was working for him.

"Let's go home," he said.

"Home?" She looked at him with a serious look. He really wasn't that drunk, just relaxed enough to be able to actually have a little fun, but from what he could tell she wasn't in the mood. She had been, but now she wasn't. "You mean the hotel?"

"Yeah," he said loosing his balance a little as she took the glass from him again.
"Okay there big guy, let's go," she said.

"I'd like that," he said with a nod of his head that made him dizzy. He kept his one hand firmly on the glass in his hand and put the other up to the side of his head to rub his temples a little.

"We should go find Wes," she suggested.

"You want a threesome?" Billie joked before he could stop himself. He laughed at the comment, but could tell that Jackie wasn't amused.

"You keep that up and I'll go be with Wes alone tonight," she said and hugged him, placing a kiss on his cheek and pulled the glass away from him again.

"That guy will crush you," He said with a smile trying to grab the glass back again.

"We better get you home," she said with a laugh, quickly set his glass on a counter next to them and curled her arms around his waist and began pulling him towards the door. Somehow between the club and the hotel they picked up Wes as a shadow. Billie was so used to having the guy follow him that sometimes he didn't notice that he was there.

Tonight though it puzzled him a little about the when and where that they'd met up with him. He had been alone with her on the way out of the club and had sat in the back of the cab alone with her, but when they got out at the hotel and people began snapping pictures, Wes was there to guide them into the hotel.

Their pathway across the hotel lobby was a blur to him. He remembered seeing the flashes of more than a few faces staring at him, but other than that he wouldn't have been able to describe the scene back to anyone. In the elevator he yawned and leaned against Jackie, putting his head into her neck to kiss her a few times as they waited to get to the floor.

"Are you okay?" she asked him at one point. He nodded slightly this time remembering that his head had hurt the last time he'd nodded and he looked up at her.

His depression from earlier in the day began to settle back on his shoulders as he waited to hear the ding of their arrival. He didn't mean to feel that way; it wasn't fair to Jackie, but he couldn't help it. He wanted things to be perfect with her and they were that way from the outside, but inside it was all a mess.

When they reached their floor they got out of the elevator and walked down the hallway. Jackie at one point hugged herself to him, grabbed the key out and let them in the room. Billie remembered walking into the dark room and flopping onto the bed. He lay flat on his stomach and didn't remember anything until he felt Jackie nudging him with her hand. "Honey, get changed and we'll go to sleep."

"Hmmm?" He rolled onto his back and stared up at her. "You changed clothes?" He asked.

"Yeah," she said, "It's bedtime honey. You need to put on your PJ's."

"Okay Mom," he said sarcastically letting out a laugh.

"Come on Billie get up," Jackie said and pushed at him again, "Get up and get changed so we can go to sleep."

"You want to go to sleep?" He asked looking at her. "You don't want to stay up and hang out with me?"

"You were already asleep for a half hour," she said, "I think you should just go back to that." She moved away from the bed and he watched her walk across the room in her pajama bottoms to where her suitcase was sitting and T-shirt before he pushed himself up.

"Fine," he sighed, "I'm up." He got to his feet and tried to kick his feet out of his shoes. It took a minute to get them all the way off, but soon he was getting himself out of the rest of his clothes.

Jackie moved back across the room and pulled back the covers on the bed and slipped under the covers. He turned and smiled at her then pulled down the covers of his side of the bed and slid under the covers and curled up to where she was laying facing away from him.

"Jackie?" He said after she'd settled back into his arms.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Remind me tomorrow I have something to tell you," he said with a sleepy smile. He pressed a kiss to where his chin was resting against her shoulder.

"Why can't you tell me now?" She asked.

"I don't want to tell you while I've been drinking," he said.

"Does this have to do with the whole fight thing room this morning?"

"Yeah," he said, "Some of it does. Just remind me okay?"

"Okay," she said.

"Night," he mumbled and squeezed her to him before he closed his eyes.
Moments later the world seemed to be coming to an end. Billie's cell phone rang, his pager went off and the hotel phone rang all at once.

When Jackie went to move away from him Billie didn't let her go. "Don't get that," he said lazily. "They probably just want to make sure that I got home okay and knowing the guys they probably want to try to interrupt me trying to have sex with you."

He felt Jackie cringe as the shrill sound of the hotel phone rang again. "You should at least answer one of them," she said.

"No," he said and pulled her closer to him. "Leave them alone."

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yeah," he restated. His hands roamed over her body and soon she turned in his arms as their petting soon transitioned into foreplay that left them panting between the kisses that they shared.

"Billie?" Jackie said as he began to slowly undress her.

"Hmm?" He sighed out as he lifted her shirt up and ran his hands along her sides, over her stomach and then up towards her breasts.

"Are you sure that you don't have to answer the guys' calls?" She asked.

His eyes shot up to hers. He couldn't believe that she was questioning him like that. He might have bee a little over bearing with his movements that evening, but he couldn't help it. She'd danced with him, hung on him, and drank with him and it was hard to ignore the effect she had on him, not only the mental teasing that she'd done, but the physical need he felt for her currently.

"You really want me to stop this?" His hand slipped over her breast and he caressed her skin. "I don't think you do."

Jackie smiled and moved towards his touches, but her voice protested the action, "I really think you should--"

Billie leaned and kissed her mouth deeply trying to distract her since it was clear that his hands on her weren't enough. "Jackie, I want--"

A knock and the door made him groan out his frustration. "Fuck," he breathed out then turned towards the door, "Who is it?"

"It's Mike," the voice said.

"What do you want?"

"Open the door Billie. I need to talk to you."

"Not now!"

"Billie!" There was a banging on the door again. "Billie Willa's in the hospital and Spanky says that we need to get there. Something happened to the baby."

Billie's blood pressure shot through the roof. Willa. Hospital. Baby. The only words that would cause him to break out in a sweat. "What?" He immediately abandoned his exploration of Jackie's body and hurried to the door, slipping back into the pants he'd pulled over a short time before.

A moment later he threw open the door and found Mike standing there with an extremely upset look on his face. "She's at the hospital," He said and curled an arm around his shoulder as he guided him towards the elevator. Loni and Mike were there with them as they walked towards the elevator.

"Billie, you need a shirt," Wes called out from behind them and as they waited for the elevator to come Wes delivered a T-shirt to its owner.

Willa. Hospital. Baby.

"Thanks." He grabbed it and slipped it over his head.

Willa. Hospital. Baby.

Wes didn't move away from where they were standing. "What do you want me to do with Jackie?"

Billie looked up. "Jackie?" He couldn't get the words out of his head.

Willa. Hospital. Baby.

Willa. Hospital. Baby.

The words started to get a little annoying...it worried him that he was having this reaction, but at the same time he reveled in the feeling. His baby was being born.
His baby. His head began to hurt.

He'd totally forgotten about the woman lying in his bed. "Tell her I'll call the room when I find out what is going on."

"Does she know that the kid is yours?" Wes asked.

"What the fuck?" Billie said, "Does everyone fucking know?"

"Just about," Mike responded to the anger on Billie's face.

*****

"I hate you," Willa gritted out between clenched teeth. A pain shot through her catching her by surprise. Her mouth opened and she held her breath.

"I know sweetie, I know. Keep breathing Willa. I know you're not feeling your best right now, but please don't pass out on me," Spanky answered from beside her. Her grip on his hand was hard and she could see her fingernails digging into his skin, but he didn't once flinch away from their bond. He stood there with a smile on his face watching her as if he was getting some kind of enjoyment at seeing her lose her cool.

"I hate him too," she said as she ground her teeth a little with the pain. She'd never been in so much pain. She'd thought that losing Billie had been the worse thing that ever had happened to her, but the contractions that had hit her earlier. "He's a bastard! How could I have ever let him do this to me? I mean you hear about stuff like this on movies and books, but let me tell you... This isn't something I would wish on my worst enemy... well maybe he deserves to feel some of this pain, but really... "

"I know." Spanky nodded.

Willa was amazed at his reaction to all of this. When her labor pains had begun Spanky had taken it all in stride as if this sort of thing happened to him every day. He packed her up into the car and calmly drove her to the hospital while she spit and swore at him as the pain got worse and worse.

Now she was laying in the hospital pushing when the doctor said to as if it was just another day on the job to him. He held onto her hand and took the brunt of a string of assaulting words that flew at not only him, but also the hospital staff in the room.

"I'm sorry," she said as the pain subsided a little.

He gave her a sympathetic smile. "I know."

Willa frowned. "Will you please say something other than 'I know!'"

Spanky looked around, then picked up a towel and brought it to her forehead then made eye contact with her again. "They are out there in the hallway waiting for you." His voice came out kind of chipper as if that news would take her mind off the situation she was in at the moment.

Willa reached over with her other hand and slapped at him, one slap with each word, "That. Wasn't. The. News. I. Wanted. To. Hear."

"Billie isn't out there. He was back at the hotel and Mike went to go get him," Spanky informed her, "Tre, Sarah, Jason, Freese and the other guards are out there."

"How nice," she said with a smug tone. Willa sighed and a pained and angry look came over her face. "I bet that boy will be late for his own wedding too."

"You want me to beat him up for you?" Spanky asked. His tone was still comical and she appreciated the effort he was taking in trying to calm her down and get her mind off things, but she knew at the moment it was probably going to be impossible for her to forget the pain she was in.

"No," she said, "I'll do it after I'm done here."

"Sure you will," the doctor piped in from where he was standing between her legs.
In her anger Willa had forgotten about her modesty. When she'd moved to LA she'd found Dr. Peter Bowman who she'd been told by Elena had helped with the pregnancy of a few of her model friends. He was a nice guy and they got along well, but at the moment she wasn't up for his humor.

"Excuse me," Willa said with a sharp tone. "This conversation doesn't have anything to do with you so..." A labor pain came just as she was about to go on a tirade.

"I love you too Miss Marviani," the doctor said from behind the surgical mask he was wearing. "You think you can give me a few more pushes?"

"If I can get this damn--"

"Willa?" Spanky said stopping her swearing.

"Leave me alone you big oaf!" Willa said to him then turned to Dr. Bowman, "If it gets this baby out of me then I'll do anything for you."

"Just pushing is all I need," he said and began to countdown with her.

When it was all over a few moments later Willa leaned her head back on the pillow and looked away from Spanky. She had tears in her eyes and she knew that they should be tears of joy, but they weren't. She knew that this was just the beginning of another set of headaches for her. Of course she would love her baby and do all that needed to be done, but at the same time she knew that the kid needed a father and the act that the father was missing in action made her more upset than anything.

"It's a baby boy," the doctor said a few moments later. Willa's hand slipped out of Spanky's and reached for the crying baby. When she took him into her arms she felt him shiver and she immediately looked at the doctor in surprise.

"He's just a little cold. Don't worry about it," the doctor said, "He's got all his fingers and toes and he's going to be just fine. We're going to keep him here for a few nights since he was born about three weeks before he should have been, but don't worry. From that cry of his it seems like he'll be out of here in no time flat."

"Thank you," she said and cuddled him up next to her. "Well Joseph Wilfred, it's nice to finally meet you." The baby cried more which brought tears to her eyes.

"I'll leave you two alone," Spanky said and began to back away from where she was lying.

"No," Willa said and turned the baby towards him, "JW I want you to meet your Uncle Spanky."

Spanky smiled at her then at the baby and stuck his finger near JW's hand. The baby surprised the both of them when he reached out and grabbed Spanky's huge finger.

A nurse soon approached them and took the baby away. "We'll bring him back in a little while, but you need to rest and I believe you have some visitors."

"Are there four guys outside?" she asked the nurse.

"There are a few men and two or three woman and I think I saw a reporter or two waiting downstairs when I started my shift about an hour ago," the nurse said.

"Reporters?" Willa groaned.

"Don't you worry about that okay?" Spanky said, "Just lay back and relax. "Do you want me to go find out who's outside."

"Yeah, would you?" Willa asked.

"Lay back sweetie. I'll be right back." As the nurse opened the door to the room Willa could hear some commotion in the hallway.

"Let me in. I'm the dad of that kid!"

"Billie?" She spoke in a whisper as tears came to her eyes. He'd come and he was going to save her from all of this and make things like they had been the year before. Willa sat straight up and waited to see what would happen. A few moments later a man appeared in the door. Her heart sunk when she saw that it was the wrong man.

"Hi honey," Brennan said approaching her.

Willa cringed back from his approach and covered herself with her blanket more. A chill came over her causing her to shake. The action made her even more upset because she didn't want Brennan to think that she was scared of him, although a little bit of her was still a little leery of him.

Spanky stood between them and stared at him with an evil look. "Get back," he said when he got too close.

"What are you doing here Brennan?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said, "Other than coming to see my son or daughter."

"The kid isn't yours!" Willa screamed at him. She grabbed at the pillow behind her and threw it at him. It wasn't something that would at all hurt him or even detour his actions, but she needed the physical movement of the throw to calm herself down.

Spanky took that moment to push him out of the room. "Willa, try and get some sleep. I'll be back after I get rid of him."

"You know this is abuse," Brennan said, "I could totally sue you."

"Do it," Spanky said as they went through the doorway, "Go right ahead. In fact if you give me the number of your lawyer I'll be sure to file the papers myself."

The door closed and Willa found herself feeling sleepy. She had been excited to hold her new baby and now found that she already missed him, but her fatigue got the best of her and she let her mind begin to wander.

It took a minute, but soon she found a comfortable position to sleep in and she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

*****

On the way to the hospital Billie sat in the passenger seat and let his mind go a million miles per hour thinking about the last few months. Guilt settled on his shoulders as he thought about how he'd abandoned Willa. He hadn't meant for it to ever get this out of control, but there wasn't much he could do now about it.

"You okay?"

"No," Billie said.

"What's wrong?" Mike asked.

"The question is what ISN'T wrong? I've got a new baby coming, an ex-girlfriend who basically hates my guts and I just ditched my current girlfriend and left her without explaining anything."

"Jackie will forgive you when she hears what happened," Mike said.

"I almost don't want her to. It would be easier that way if I just pissed her off and she left me."

"Don't say that. I know that the guys and I have been a little hesitant when it comes to Jackie, but she is a nice girl."

"She's the best," Billie said with a sad smile, "I don't deserve her."

When they parked Mike and Billie made their way into the hospital and asked the lady at the information desk about what floor they could find the maternity ward. She gave them directions, but warned that visitor's hours were over. Mike nodded and told the woman about Willa's ordeal of going into labor. They took the elevator up the few floors to find where the others were and how Willa was doing.

Billie hated the hospital. He always had and he always would. He hadn't had very wondeful memories.

W. Marviani. He stared at the nameplate on the door for a moment letting Mike leave him in the hallway alone then stepped towards the door and put his hands against the metallic barrier between himself and Willa. He needed to go in there and beg and plead to be a part of her life. He needed to be a father to his son or daughter. It wasn't going to be at all easy, but then again nothing ever was easy with her.

He smiled at the thought of how much that rudeness, that straight-forward-no-holds-barred approach had intrigued him. She'd been real with him. He had never been put in his place like that and for some strange reason it kept him coming back for more. There had been no kissing ass, no bowing down. She was real with him and he needed that. Jackie was real enough with him, but he and Willa had a history, something that he and Jackie would never have. They'd gone to hell and back and had stood by each other. Well stood by each other until the last incident anyway

"Excuse me. Visitor's hours are over," the woman said.

Billie shot back into the present with a cold awakening. The nurse of the floor was now staring at him. He looked around for Mike and could see that he was with everyone in the waiting room down the hall. They were all talking which meant that he was finding out all the details.

"I just want to see her." His voice sounded humble.

"No can do sir," the woman said, "Visiting hours are over. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." She moved between him and the door, removing his hands from the metal door in the process.

"Let me in there." His nostrils flared as he stared at the woman between him and the door.

"No, it's past visiting hours and the patients in that room happen to be asleep."

"I just want to see her," his voice came out in a desperate manner. "I won't even wake her up. I just want to make sure that she's okay."

"She, whoever she is I'm sure is fine," the nurse said again, "but if you don't lower your voice you will wake everyone up which will cause me not only to keep you out of this room, but off this floor and out of this hospital."

"Please," he said and let his mouth turn down into a frown.

"No," she said, "If you want to go and wait down the hall I'm sure you'll be able to see your friend in the morning."

"Look. I know that you're not supposed to let me in," his frustrations had reached the point of boiling over. "Do you know who I am? I'll sue this hospital if you don't let me in that damn room!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Soon Billie was being pulled away from where the nurse was standing. He turned to find Mike's hands on him. "He didn't mean that. I leave him alone for a few minutes and he goes nuts. I'm really sorry," Mike said with a hurried manner, "He's a little surprised and anxious about this baby."

"No troubles," the nurse said, "Just make him be quiet. We don't need him disrupting our other patients."

A moment later they were on their way to the elevator, the opposite direction from where everyone else was waiting.

"Where are we going?" Billie asked pointing in the other direction, "Everyone is down there."

"Welcome to the living buddy," Mike said and pulled him towards the doors.

"What was that back there? Do you know who I am? I've never known you to pull that. Why are you starting that bull now?"

"I want to see her," Billie said closing his eyes as a headache began to form above his eyes and near his temples. He rubbed his forehead and shrugged away from where Mike had a tight grip on his shoulder.

"Finally," He said.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Mike rolled his eyes at him. "You've been ignoring her for months and now all of a sudden you're obsessive with her or something."

"No," Billie said, "I just am worried about her. She just gave birth if you hadn't noticed."

"Wows, you really are perceptive you know that."

"Give me a break," Billie said, "I thought the kid wasn't mine, what was I supposed to do?"

"Wait for her to explain, which from what I heard, you didn't do."

"But he knew about it," Billie said as they entered the elevator. He immediately expected Mike to know who he was talking about. Something in the look on his friend's face told him that he did understand.

"You should have trusted her word over his any day. You not only broke her heart by leaving her, but you broke her heart because you believed someone else over her."

The older man sighed and tried to move the kinks out of his shoulders. "I really have messed this up haven't I?"

"That's an understatement. I could have told you that you really messed up a few months ago."

"Why didn't you?" he asked.

"You wouldn't have listened," Mike said, "I tried to talk to you a while ago about this and you didn't want to hear it so after that I stopped trying."

They stood in silence for a moment. "It's a boy you know."

"Hmm?" Billie said. He was staring towards the floor watching his shoes.

"You have a nice three week premature son named JW," Mike mentioned, "She named him Joseph Wilfred."

Joseph. She'd named their son after him and with her real first name it seemed like nothing could make the name more special. "How do you know?" he asked.

Mike sighed. "Spanky told everyone before he took Brennan away."

Billie tensed up at the mention of his name. "Brennan was here?"

As if fate were guiding their way, the elevator doors opened and they saw Spanky and Brennan across the hallway. Spanky was pushing Brennan out the door and Brennan was grabbing onto the doorframe to keep inside the hospital.

"Spanky!" Mike and Billie both called out at the same time.

Spanky turned his head and looked at them with a cocky grin on his face then turned back to Brennan. "Well, well, well. What's going on guys?" he asked.

"We were about to ask you that," Mike said in a calm tone looking at Brennan then back to Spanky.

Billie stared at Brennan and tried to keep his cool. He couldn't believe that the guy had shown up. He'd known that the guy had balls, but this was a little much. After all the struggles that he'd put them through he thought that he would have given up by then. "What are you doing here Brennan?"

His grin spread wider as Spanky backed off a little so they could talk. "I just came to see my son."

"Your son?" Billie said and took a jerky step towards him.

Mike caught him with an arm across his chest and whispered, "Let Spanky take care of this."

"The little guy is a cutie. I think he looks a lot more like Willa than he does me, but whatever I'm sure he'll be happy looking like his model mom."

Billie pushed against the restraint of Mike's arm. "Give me another reason to kick your ass Brennan. I still owe you for New Years last year."

Brennan just laughed, "Sure you do. Jealous much? I would be too, but well the kid is mine after all, wasn't it you who abandoned her because you knew that he was mine."

"Abandon her?"

"Yeah, the dirty little slut shouldn't be sleeping with more than one guy at a time... then this stuff wouldn't happen to her."

Mike seemed to understand the need for Billie to be set free on Brennan. He loosened his arms a bit and the man lunged towards Brennan. A few moments later, just as the fight got rougher, both Spanky and Mike were trying to pull the two apart as they punched at each other.

"Son of a bitch. Where the hell do you get off saying shit like that?" Billie kept saying over and over again.

Brennan was light on his feet, but was no match for the fury that Billie felt inside. Billie's fists hurt from hitting him, but he didn't stop until he felt arms around his waist pulling him back. When he finally looked up he saw that Wes and the other security guards were standing there.

Brennan immediately went into a defensive mode and with a bloody nose and a bruised cheek seemed to instantly drop into victim mode, cowering behind Wes, Spanky, and Mike.

Mike had Billie in a headlock and kept repeating to him over and over again that he needed to calm down.

*****

Willa woke up three or so hours after falling asleep and immediately called out for Spanky. She shivered in the cool air of the room and tried to pull the blanket they had there for her up around herself but it didn't work to well. She closed her eyes, took deep breaths and called out for Spanky again. She looked over at the wall clock and saw the time. She needed to go back to sleep, but she couldn't. She knew where she was, but she was in pain and somehow his name came to her mind before any other name did.

A red haired freckle faced nurse appeared and gave her a drink and some pain medication. Willa guessed that she was about the same age as her. The smile on her face was a little sarcastic and a little cocky. "These will help you relax. I should be giving some of this to your friends."

"My friends?"

"Yeah, the whole group that's been here most of the night... a few guys and a few girls around your age. You've got some crazy friends young lady."

Willa shook her head and wondered just how fast the pain medication she was given kicked in. She swore she didn't understand the woman. She'd known that Spanky had called all the guys, but she'd never expected them to show up for the birth. "What?"

"Some of your guy friends got into a fist fight in the parking lot earlier. The cops weren't called, but the both of them sat in the emergency room for a half hour or so getting cleaned up."

"What?" Willa sat up with a start then sat back with a groan. "My stomach."

The woman made a sour face. "I bet that hurt. You're going to be sore for a while."

Willa brushed away her hands when they reached to help her sit back. "What happened with the fight?"

"The two guys got into a fist fight. I don't know what started it or what ended it, but one of them came back up here for a while before they left. He was beat up pretty well and everyone got mad that he was fighting and they all left together."

"They're gone?" Willa asked.

"Yeah. There is a girl here to see you. Says she's your sister or something... no offense to her or you, but you don't look at all alike."

"Sister?"

"Yeah," the nurse said, "You want her to come in?"

"Yes please," Willa said weakly as the room began to spin a little, "Can I see my son?"

"We should wait until the morning," the nurse said.

"He's okay, isn't he?"

"Of course," the nurse said, "We will definitely let you know if his condition changes."

"Can I ask a favor?" Willa said with a soft voice.

"Sure, honey," the nurse said.

"Is there a way to keep people from seeing him?" She let out a sigh. "I know that this may sound crazy, but I only want a short list of people who will be able to see him if they chose to."

"Sure," the nurse said. She pulled a small spiral notebook from her hip pocket, grabbed a pen from her chest pocket and handed them both to Willa. "Just give me a list and I'll make sure that the ward nurses know about your wishes."

"Thank you." Willa set down a list. Spanky, of course would be able to get in, Mike was the second and her parents if they decided to visit. Other than that she wasn't sure that she wanted to put Billie on the list, but at the last moment she put his name anyway. He may have abandoned her, but she wasn't going to let him abandon their son.

As she wrote she could feel the nurse's eyes on her.

"Now I know where I know you from. You're that model woman that everyone keeps talking about," she said, "That girl that everyone keeps saying so many things about in the news. I think I saw a report on you on Entertainment Tonight. The one who supposedly got pregnant by one man while with another."

Willa threw fake smile at her. "Yeah I guess that's me."

"I'll definitely let them know about that then. Oh, that huge guy you came in with... "

"Spanky?" she asked.

"Yeah," she said, "He's out in the hallway near the door so no one comes in. I told him he couldn't sit in the hallway and he fought me about it for a minute, but I'll let him know its okay to stand there."

"Thank you," Willa said, "On your way out can you ask him to come in here for a moment."

"Sure," the nurse said, "If you need anything else my name is Sandy."

"Thanks Sandy." Willa handed over the list and took a deep breath and looked around the room. She didn't know how long she needed to be there, but she hoped it wasn't very long.

"Do you still want me to go and get your sister?"

"Uh... yeah send her on down." Willa was trying to figure out who she was talking about, but guessed that maybe Sarah or Laura had stuck around and told the nurses that they were her sister to be able to stay longer. A moment later Spanky was at her side.

"You okay kiddo?" he asked. He reached out and hugged her lightly, then moved her hair out of her face.

"What happened in the parking lot?" The scowl on her face must have been fiercer than she thought because she could see that Spanky seemed a bit scared to answer her.

"Uh... " Spanky looked around the room then back at her, "Nothing happened."

"The nurse said that there was a fight."

His eyes widened in shock as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "There was?"

"William, stop it." She slammed her hand down onto the mattress. "The nurse said that some of my friends were in it. I already know that Billie wasn't around so tell me what happened!"

"Actually Billie was involved."

"What?" she said, "Is he okay?" Spanky didn't say anything. He just looked at her with a worried expression.

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine... well he had a bloody nose and a sore hand, but he's going to be fine."
"Who else was involved?" she asked, "Please tell me it wasn't one of the other guys. The last thing in the world I want is to start something between them."

"Brennan was the other one," Spanky said. He leaned against the bed to continue, "He was teasing Billie about him not being JW's father. Mike held him back for a while, but it seemed like once he said something about you, Mike just let Billie go and beat the shit out of Brennan."

"What did he say about me?"

Spanky got up and walked away from the bed and began to pace a little. "You don't want to hear about this right now. It was stupid but I know it'll upset you and I don't think you need to be stressing-"

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, never mind... just leave it alone."

"What. Did. He. Say?" Her tone was forceful as she grabbed onto his arm as he passed her and dug her nails into his arm a bit. "I want to know NOW." Spanky looked away from her and began to explain about the fight. He ended with Brennan's comment and Willa found tears coming into her eyes.

"I knew this would hurt your feelings," he sighed.

"It's not that," she said and wiped her face. She was about to continue her explanation when the door cracked open and Amy of all people peeked her head into the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Willa asked.

"I needed to talk to you."

"Well you picked a really bad time to do it," Willa spat out.

Amy's eyes filled with tears. "I'm so sorry Willa. I never thought that things would go this far. I wanted to hurt you, but I never thought that the stress of all of this would cause my nephew to be born so early."

"Nephew?" Willa asked. "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF CALLING HIM YOUR NEPHEW?"

"Because he is," Amy said softly.

"HE SURE THE HELL ISN'T!!!"

"Yes he is." She dug into her purse and grabbed a folded piece of paper and came into the room. Spanky got in her way, but she just leaned her arm around him. "It's my birth certificate. You and I share a father, believe it or not."
"What did you say?" Willa asked.

"I said that I'm your sister... well half sister anyway."

"Spanky?" Willa looked at him for support.

"Don't ask me." He put up his hands as if he was being accused of something. "I don't know anything about this and if you ask me I don't think I should get mixed up in this one."

"Why the hell would you bring this up now?" Willa asked Amy. "What do you think that you're going to get out of this. Billie is well, lets just say that I'm not sure what Billie is right now so if you want his connections you're not going to get them, not that he would let you sneak back into our lives--well his life and my life and my son's life anyway."

Amy's eyes began to tear up. "I never thought that you'd get hurt. I mean we thought we'd sue you and get a little money, but I didn't think that you'd be put in such danger."

"Danger?"

"Well I talked to the doctor and he said that your early birth time was due to... " she stopped and took a breath.

Willa had a hard time thinking that all of this was real. The tears were definitely her own, but she wouldn't put it past Amy to try and weasel her way back into things now that the whole lawsuit was over.

"The doctor said that you gave birth last night because you got stressed out. I never meant for it to go this far. Brennan was the one who thought we should come out to LA and stick around here for a while. He has something against Billie I guess and since he thought he could help me with what I wanted we sort of... "

Willa shut her eyes. The only stress in her life was Billie and she didn't need this kind of extra drama at the moment. Hadn't she been through enough dealing with everything this year?

"Willa, are you okay?" Spanky asked.

"No," she said and leaned back against the pillow. She threw the birth certificate to the floor and turned away from both of them. "Leave me alone."

"Willa. I need to talk to you," Amy said.

"Leave. Me. Alone."

"Please Willa. I just want to apologize. I didn't mean for it to go this far. I never meant for you to get hurt. You're my sister."

"Stop saying that!" Willa screamed. She took deep breaths and looked at Spanky. "Get her out of here! Now!"

Spanky took action and pulled Amy along with him out of the room while Amy still tried to get a word in. "I didn't mean it Willa. We were best friends and we could be again!"

*****

"You guys going to be okay?" Wes asked as they walked back into the hotel.

By this time all the guys who'd been at the hospital gathered waiting for news were now talking about Billie's big fight. It seemed that Tre got the most joy of reliving the moment he'd missed while Mike had fully comprehended the event and had already begun to worry about how it might look in the press. They all knew it had been necessary, but they all knew that it was a serious situation and needed to be handled as such.

In the elevator things seemed to calm down a bit. It was after all in the middle of the night. It had been late when they'd gotten the call for Willa and now after all the commotion it was time to get to sleep.

"So what are you going to tell Jackie?" Tre asked in a small voice that didn't quite sound right coming out of his mouth. He seemed almost serious which seemed to set the other guys on edge. Even Sarah and Laura noticed the strange vibe of the guys.

Billie looked around at the faces of his friends, "Eventually I'll tell her everything, but for now I'm not sure what I should do."

"Billie," Laura said, "You have to tell her what's going on. It's not fair for you to lead her on like that."

"I'm not trying to lead her on. I totally thought that the kid was Brennan's. I never would have started dating her if I'd known, but then again I probably would have been with Willa this whole time if she'd told me."

"I don't think you would have been there with Willa," Laura said. Everyone gave her a shocked look.

"What?" She said, "If you thought that she was lying to you about something huge like that I would have thought you'd have broken up by now. You didn't trust her when you really needed to so how would you trust her in the mean time."

"She does have a point there," Sarah said.

"Great. Thanks girls. This is really inspiring and all, but you don't know what happened that night, you don't know Willa and obviously you don't know me!"
"Calm down," Wes said then glared at Billie. "Yeah we don't know you Billie. The Billie that we all know would have done the right thing and wouldn't have assumed the worst of someone before getting all the information."

He stared at his feet. "Don't you guys think that I feel bad about all this? I mean if I really was an asshole like you all think I am I wouldn't have beat the shit out of Brennan tonight. He completely insulted her, me and my kid... " His voice shook when he realized that he was defending his son. "... I may not have made all the right decisions, but don't you think that I want to make it up to her... to them?"

"Well you'd better get started because once that kid is born and Willa has full custody it's going to be harder and harder to win her over." Wes seemed to be the only calm voice in the room.

"I'm going to get it settled," Billie said, "But I really can't do much tonight now can I?" He folded his arms across his chest until they reached their floor then he walked down the hallway quickly, leaving the others behind.

As the light next to the bed flipped on when he returned to the room Billie winced and stepped back a little. He had been trying to sneak back in without waking her. At one point in the elevator thought about sleeping in Tre's room, but found himself going back to his room for the pure fact that he knew Tre was going to chat with him about the fight the way that Mike had chatted at him in the emergency room. So he found himself in a horrible mood waking her up, when all he wanted to do was go to sleep and forget about the whole evening.

"You're up?"

"Yeah," Jackie said rubbing her eyes. She was sitting up watching him with tired eyes. She looked happy to see him, but there was a concern he saw there that scared him. She shouldn't be thinking about him that much. She needed to know that he probably wasn't going to be around for much longer. "Where'd you go?" she asked smiling.

The question was a simple one, yet Billie found himself not being able to answer her. He avoided her eyes as he moved further into the hotel room, pulling off the shirt he'd thrown on during his rush to find Willa. He flopped down onto the bed and looked at her, sighing uncontrollably when he saw the sad look in her eyes.
"What happened to your face?" she asked looking at him a little sideways.

Her voice trembled and she looked scared. He wasn't sure what about. It had been two hours or so since the fight. He had expected for her to be concerned, but shaking nervously wasn't something that he'd been prepared to deal with upon his return to the hotel. All he wanted to do was to go to sleep.

"Are you going to tell me?" she asked.

Another simple question with a not so simple answer. How was he going to explain it to her? His heart broke to see the worried look on her face. She didn't deserve any of this and he felt horrible for making her life so complicated. First it had been his schedule, but now it was just his life that was turning hers upside down.
"What happened?" she repeated.

"I got into a fight," he said. He actually felt a little cocky about that fact. At least now no one could say that he hid behind his bodyguards when things got rough. He'd gotten hit a few times, but if it had been a real fight, a Vegas fight, the judges would have sided with him.

"What?" Jackie jumped up from where she'd been in bed and immediately rushed to reach for his face.

"I'm fine," he said and moved away from the touch of her fingertips against his sore right cheek, "It wasn't anything big. Really."

"Sure it wasn't." She rolled her eyes at him. He had never known her to be so sarcastic. It was a side of her that he wasn't sure he liked. Willa could be sarcastic until the cows came home, but on her it just didn't work.

"You look like you got beaten to death."

"Hey now." Why was he concentrating on being offended by her remark? He should have been feeling horrible about leaving her earlier that night in such a manner. He guessed that being worried about being offended was keeping his mind from the guilt that he felt. "I was the one who won. You should have seen the other guy."

She stared at him angrily. "And who was the other guy?"

"The first rule of fight club is: don't talk about fight club," Billie said with a smile and flopped back onto his back so that he was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. His head ached a little from his landing, but after a moment of rubbing his temples he relaxed.

"Billie, don't joke about this," she said and leaned over him to look at his cheek more closely.

He lay still while she looked over his face. He avoided her eyes for the most part afraid that she'd see what he was thinking. He figured that she'd probably see that something was wrong with him, other than the bruised cheek, but didn't want her to see more. He shut his eyes when she stared at the cut near the corner of his eye. Kicking off his shoes, using his feet to push out of each one, he sighed heavily. "I need sleep."

He felt her hand on his chest and she rubbed a soft lazy circle over his ribs and stomach as she spoke to him, "Well come on and curl up with me and we'll go to sleep."

If he hadn't have left earlier to go find Willa he would have been excited by the sexy tone in his voice, but for the moment it only caused him to be more uncomfortable than anything else. He'd just run off to the other woman in his life and Jackie was sitting there accepting him back into her arms as if nothing happened.

Billie opened his eyes and stared into hers for a moment. He could see how she was trying to make sure that everything was okay for him, on one hand he appreciated it, but on the other hand he wasn't sure that he could let her be so nice to him anymore.

"Actually I was going to take a shower real quick then go to bed," he said pushing himself up. He moved away from her and stared to undo his pants. "Why don't you go to sleep? I'll be to bed in a few minutes."

Jackie gave him a strange look and he could tell that she knew that he was trying to stall or something. He hated that she could tell that he was trying to get out of going to bed. He wanted her to think that things were okay. He had some time between now and when he saw Willa again and he needed to make a decision.
Fish or cut bait, as they say.

Billie moved away from the bed and went into the bathroom. He closed himself in, stripped his clothes off and stepped into the shower. Flipping on the water he stood under the spray of the water and let the heat of it relax him.

*****

"Billie Joe Armstrong did I hear that you got into a fist fight?"

"Mom?" he asked groggily as he rolled over onto his back, gripping the phone to his ear. He was in bed, although he didn't remember how he got into bed he remembered that Jackie had been with him, but he didn't see her now and the bed next to him was cold when he stretched his free arm.

"No, it's your sister and you better be thanking God that Mama didn't find out about this before I did because she'd be out on the next plane to kick your ass around. I thought you had finally grown up! What were you thinking?"

"He called her a slut Anna. I couldn't let him treat her like that." He tried to convey his sense of duty to his sister. She knew how he hated when girls got treated the wrong way and he hoped that would be enough of an excuse for her to keep quiet about stuff for the moment. He really wasn't ready to deal with his parents yet.

"Who called who a slut?" she asked.

"How'd you find out about this anyway?" he asked.

"Mike called me this morning to tell me about it."

"Son of a bitch."

"Watch your language!" Anna said, "There is no excuse for you to go all barbarian on me now."

Billie threw his hand over his eyes. He wondered if he had grown up in the front family. Have they been dead the last 33 years of his life?

"Barbarian?" he asked with a smile. "Using your big words today sis?"

"Leave it alone and tell me why you got into a fight. Who started it? Please tell me it wasn't you. We can handle bad press, but if it turns out that you started this you're going to be hearing from Mom and anyone else out here in Rodeo when this hits the news."

Billie sighed and rubbed his face. His cheek felt a bit sore, but other than that he felt good. "Brennan called Willa a slut."

Finally there was some shock in her voice when she answered, "Why?"

"Because he said that if Willa would keep to herself more then she wouldn't be confused about who JW's dad is." Billie punched the mattress with the hand that wasn't sore from the night before, "I wasn't about to let him say that about her or make any remarks about JW."

"JW? Who is that?" Anna asked.

"My son," he said in a soft voice praying that she wouldn't hear him.

"She had the baby already? It's too soon isn't it?" she rambled excitedly, "Wait? YOUR son?"

"Yep. It's official," he shrugged and looked around the room again trying to figure out where Jackie had disappeared. "You're now an aunt to my little boy Joseph Wilfred."

"Me?" she said loudly with a shocked tone. "You mean Brennan isn't the dad?"

"Like you ever thought differently."

"Eww, gross, my little brother had sex," she said with a nervous laugh then took a deep breath. He could picture her rubbing at her forehead already. He knew she didn't do well with news like this and he was sure she'd get off the phone and completely freak out when they were done. "I didn't know what to think. You were so mad at her and so upset that I wanted to side with you."

"Yeah right."

*****

"Mo-ther!" Willa walked slowly across the living room and picked up the remote from where her mother had left it on the coffee table next to the bottled water she'd been drinking earlier. She was in the kitchen now probably rummaging through the cupboards trying to find something to scrutinize.

"Willa honey, don't whine," her mother called to her.

"I'm sorry," Willa sighed and looked around for Spanky. It hadn't slipped by her that he'd helped her into the house that morning and had disappeared into his room, shutting himself off from her and her mother's wrath. She didn't blame him. In her current mood she wished she could send her mother packing. She remembered why she left to go off and model in the first place. Of course there was the money, but mostly it was the travel away from her parents. When she got in moods like this and when her mother was being "motherly" she needed to escape her. "I thought I wouldn't have to pick up after you when you came to visit."

"Honey, sit down." Her mother was pouring juice into a cup looking at her with such confusion on her face Willa thought she had two heads or horns or something. It was actually a funny look for her mother. She usually was cool calm and collected. The type of woman whose hair was always in place, makeup was always perfect and dressed something between a nun and June Cleaver. "You don't look too good."

"Why would I look good? My son is in the hospital, his father is out of the picture and I found out last night that my father had an affair and I have a half sister!" Saying it all at once made her light headed and she had to lean against the counter for support.

"Honey, you need to rest." Her mother always made things sound so simple. "The doctor said that Joseph can come home soon and you'll need the energy."

"His name is JW," she said angrily, "I'm not going to call him Joseph."

"Then why did you put it on the birth certificate honey?" she asked. Willa groaned.

She wished she didn't have to even deal with her. It was already too much that she'd had to explain it to Mike over the phone that morning, but now she had to retell the story every time someone new came within fifty feet of her.

The reporters had found out about the birth and she'd answered a few of their questions including revealing her son's name to the press on the way to the car that Spanky had brought to pick her up in. She hadn't really meant to say anything but someone had said the wrong name and she'd corrected them, by instict. Partly it was because the reporter had asked if her son was named after Brennan.

"Because that's what Billie would want for him," she said.

"Like you need to be taking his opinion into consideration."

"Mother," she whined, "Please leave it alone. I know you love me and all, but Billie and I will deal with this, you don't need to get into the middle of it."

"Billie isn't dealing with any of this. If he was he would have been there this morning to take you home and would have been there for his own son's birth the night before."

Willa held her head and walked out of the room. "I can't talk to you about this. You wouldn't understand."

"What I don't understand is that you slept with him, got pregnant, told him, he abandoned you, you came home crying to me and your father and now here you are back again defending him."

"I'm not defending him!"

"Yes you are. You should hate him for what he's done to you and your son, but somehow it hasn't gotten in your head that he treats you badly."

Willa took a deep breath as tears began to cry. "You don't understand!"

Spanky emerged from the bedroom and joined them in the living room. "You all okay?" He looked at mother and daughter and shook his head a little as if he was disappointed in the two of them.

Willa nodded and sat down on the couch. "I love him Mom. I know it's horrible to say after all that's happened, but I do. I have since the moment I met him and even though I was mad at him all these months, I loved him then too."

"Honey, be realistic. He's got a girlfriend now and you need to move on." Her head shook at Willa. Her eyes showed pity, not sympathy.

Her mother's tone made her feel weak. She already felt horrible for not being able to stay away from Billie and now having her mother tell her that she was basically pathetic, didn't help things.

"I can't," she said, "Not yet." Spanky gave her mother a look and soon they were left alone in the living room to talk.

"I should hate him Spanky," she said giving Spanky a desperate look. She needed his help now more than ever. With JW coming home soon she knew that she couldn't be an emotional wreak or it would affect JW too. "Why can't I hate him?"

Spanky sat next to her and put an arm across her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Because you two have been in love forever and you need each other even if at the moment it's hard to be there for each other."

"What am I going to do?" she said, "JW needs a dad and I don't feel right if Billie wants to be in his life, but at the same time I feel like I don't want anyone else there either."

"He isn't a stupid guy. He'll figure it out sooner or later sweetie." Spanky said.
Willa was almost relaxed again when the phone rang. She went to go answer the phone in the living room when she heard her mother pick up.

"Hello? Willa's house," her mother's voice said. She even sounded like an answering service. "No, I'm sorry Billie, she's not available to come to the phone right now...Yes this is her mother."

Willa grabbed up the phone and pressed it to her ear. "I'm here."

"Willa?" Billie said in unison with her mother on the line.

"Mother, hang up now," Willa said trying to sound sweet when all she wanted to do was hold the phone away from her mouth and scream at her mother.

When the click was heard on the line that her mother was gone Willa paused for a moment then asked carefully, "What do you need Billie?"

He was hesistant in his answer. "I wanted to know how JW is," he said, "I've been busy this morning and I couldn't get over there, but I wanted to make sure that he's okay. I tried calling the hospital, but they said that there is some list on who can have info about JW so..."

"I'm sorry Billie, but I'm not sure if you need that information," she said, "After all, you not really going to be in his life so I don't--"

Billie immediately began to protest. "I'm his father Willa. I may have messed up while you were pregnant, but I'm not going to mess up my kid's life. It's too important."

"So I'm not important?" She asked, "Just your son is precious to you."

"That's not what I meant."

"Look, JW is fine and will be fine so just leave it alone."

"Willa, please, I'm trying here."

"Well it's a little late, like nine months late."

"Willa."

"Billie," she said mocking his tone.

"Fred." His tone changed and he actually sounded worried that he wasn't getting through to her. "Fred, please don't act like this."

"How should I act?" She asked angrily. "You know what? Never mind. It's not worth having this discussion. I'm really tired and I want to go to sleep. We can talk about this later."

"When?"

"Whenever I stop hating you." She clicked down the phone and looked at Spanky.

"Willa you have to stop being so stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn," she said angrily.

The phone rang a moment later and Willa grabbed it up. "Leave me alone!" She screamed into it when she picked it up.

"Well I have the answer to my question already," the female voice said.

"Elena?" Willa croaked out as tears began to fall.

"Yes sweetie," she said, "It is I, your princess in shining armor. I'm jumping on a plane right now to come out there so don't worry. I'll be there soon to save you."

"Thank you, thank you," Willa said with teary eyes.

"I take it that you talked to Billie today?" She asked.

Willa sniffed and wiped her cheeks. "Yeah. Just a second ago."

"He called me this morning first thing and told me that I needed to get on a plane and get to you. He's really worried about you," Elena said, "He said you wouldn't let him see your baby boy and the hospital didn't even recognize that he was the father."

"It's true," she said, "I can't risk it. He doesn't need to know the child that he's had nothing to do with for the last few months."

"I'm not going to take sides here Willa, but he was really upset this morning."
"Yeah well he has Jackie to help him out."

"Not from what I can tell," Elena said.

"What?" Willa asked.

"From what I got out of him he said that you hated him and Jackie left him and he was basically feeling like he'd been abandoned."

"An eye for an eye. I knew that karma would come and bite him in the ass."

"Willa. I know the man hasn't been the best of guys, but h