Your Lips Are a Hot Flame, Baby And Our Chemistry Is Kerosene

I felt a vibration in my pocket. I dug in and got my phone.

A text message that read:
Noel! Going to Tffanys party 2nite?
Holly

"God… these people" I mumbled to myself as I threw my phone to the sofa across from me. That was the seventh text about Tiffany’s party I’d received that day. Counting one from Tiffany herself, seriously, wasn’t graduation embarrassing enough for her?

"What’s wrong sis?" Elle spoke to me from the kitchen. Dangerous place for her to be in, considering she could burn the house down.

"Fucking party I don’t want to go to" I replied blunty.

"Why not?" Elle started walking towards me.

"Because it’s going to be lame, I can sense it," I smirked as she sat next to me.

"Who’s party?"

"Tiffany Wishton"

"Oh," she looked half-surprised, "isn’t that the girl you called fat in your graduation?"

"Exactly."

"Well, she’s trying to be nice by inviting you, plus, don’t do what I did," yeah, she’s on her psychology major, "don’t waste your time inside books, or whatever you do that keeps you inside the house, go out and have fun, especially now that it’s summer, don’t waste your chances," she was my mom when it came to advice.

"Chances of… getting drunk? Or seeing a bunch of people drunk? Or of getting in bed with-"

"Why do you always think of that side of things?"

At this given moment, I really, really, wanted to say ‘what the fuck’, but I admire my sister much more than to just rain on her parade like that; either way, I catch her drift always. So I took the high road and stayed silent.

She sighed and began petting my hair, like a mother would, "Noel, go out, and have fun, just" she paused for a moment, "stay safe, and have fun. You deserve it. "

"Only because you’re making me," I said as she stood up and walked back to the kitchen, "and because I don’t want to eat whatever kind of monster food you’re cooking for tonight."

"Either way," she said chopping tomatoes and such, "this isn’t for you, it’s for Andy and I," she smiled. Andrew, or Andy, is her long term four-year boyfriend. He’s good-looking, he comes from a good family, he’s wealthy, and he’s studying medicine. The man is God-sent. How did my sister find this thing, how am I to know. How she’s managed to stay with just one man for four years is an even bigger mystery.

"Good, let’s just hope he doesn’t turn into a mutant after this meal."

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"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" I shouted from my closet, "ELLEEEEE!!!!!!!" No response.

"ELLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

"Yes madam?" she popped up in my doorway.

"Did you do the laundry?"

"Yes, except for dark colors."

"WHAT?! I was going to wear my blue Lucky Brand shirt today!"

"Sorry, you gotta pick from the other hundred that you have in your closet today then," she shrugged and began to walk away.

"WAIT!" I took a deep breath, "come help me look for something to wear?" I pouted.

She smiled and sat on my bed, "well show me your options." Another thing that I highly admire of my sister is that she does everything. Both my parents work full-time. Plus they’re always on business trips and all. So my sister plays the mom role, the dad role, and the older sister role in the family. She cleans, does the laundry, gives advice, gives me rides, and sometimes she gives me money when I need it. I only cook though, most of the time, because Elle plus a kitchen is bound to become a scientific lab for nuclear weapons.

I walked inside my closet to look for an appropriate attire for the party, when Elle began to speak again.

"You insulted a lot of people at your graduation," she said.

"No, really?" I replied sarcastically and chuckled.

"You don’t hate those kids though, if you did, you wouldn’t care and you wouldn’t make them your business," I could tell she had something down her sleeve.

"No, I don’t make them my business; I just find out their business and make it everyone else’s. I mean, they all love to know each other’s business and eat each other over it," I said as I walked out of my closet holding an orange top over my chest, "what about this?"

"Hmm… I’m not really feeling it."

"Yeah, I didn’t feel like orange today either way," I said throwing the shirt in my bed and walking back inside the closet.

"Well, by making it everyone else business and your whole clever plan or whatever, you’re making your own business everyone else’s."

"I don’t care really, they’ll say anything they want if it’s true or not, so it doesn’t matter. Plus, they love me, I spice up their life," I said walking back out with a blue top over my chest.

"I like it better than the orange," she nodded.

"Yeah," I threw it in my bed, "but I don’t think its good enough," I said walking back inside the closet.

"What did that kid, the one that talk to you in the end, what did he tell you? Because you even got pale when he spoke to you."

"Oh, that kid is a dumbass," I replied bluntly.

"How so?" she asked.

"Well, he tried getting all smart on me, he’s the one that falls head over heels for every single girl, it’s annoying," I replied.

"Well, I don’t blame him, he was cute," she said indifferently.

"With all the girls he dates he must have some sort of disease or something," I said carelessly, "bingo!"

"Lemme see!" she said as I walked back out holding a red top over my chest, "I love it," she smiled giving me two thumbs-up.

"I know right! I’m a genius!" I smiled and sat next to her.

"Well," she stood up, "by the way your face looked when he spoke to you, it seemed like he set you to your place," she looked at her watch for a second, "shit! Andy is supposed to be here in half an hour! I haven’t even showered!" she said as she stormed out my room.

Set me on my place. Yeah right.

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There’s something I have to clear about Alex Gaskarth. All the rumors are lies. This kid is not a man whore. He doesn’t sleep with every girl. Okay, maybe he does, but he dates them, and he does not lure them into bed like you’d think he would. No, he’s no angel, but he’s a sweet kid; and there’s something about him most girls can’t resist.

Alex Gaskarth has dated no less than six girls, formally, in senior year. He’s wanted to marry no less than six girls in senior year. See the pattern?

He obsesses over them, and falls in love with them, completely head over heels. He writes them songs and gives them midnight serenades standing at their window waiting for them to listen and open and love him just as much as he loves them.

As I stated before, he’s a sweet kid; he sends them bouquets of flowers and those heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, to their classroom, so every other girl in the room gets envious. And every other girl in the room does. He'd probably end up dating half of those girls either way.

He writes lists of over a hundred reasons of "why is –currentgirlfriendsname- the best." Then he goes to kinko’s and makes it all pretty and what not, it turns into a book. He writes bible sized books on girls.

He let’s them walk all over him. He let’s them ditch him. He let’s them forget him. He let’s them win every nonexisiting argument, because he wont ever dare to argue with one of them. There’s even been a case in which he let his girlfriend at the moment cheat on him. But "he understood," he was okay with it. Everybody makes mistakes right? He’s a completely blind lover.

Every single girl wants to date Alex Gaskarth until they date him. It usually takes two to three months for the Gaskarth-NewGirl relationship to end. Girls get sick of him. Girls get sick of the love songs every weekend. They get sick of the surprise daily notes-on-your-locker. They get sick of the chocolates and flowers. They get sick of the teddy bears and perfumes. They get sick of the touchiness. They get sick of being able to walk all over him. They get sick of him losing his own personality over the relationship. They get sick of his stupid love sick puppy type of love.

No, I don’t speak from experience, I speak from observation.

These are just some of the reasons Alex Gaskarth has never been appealing to me. These are just some of the reasons why i think of him as a joke.