Therapy

Jack's P.O.V.

"Kase, are you okay?" Alex's voice came in muffled voice through the bathroom door. Kase and I still silently sat on the bathroom floor against the faded dark-green wall. For the bathroom being old and "public" to the bands and staff, it was kept clean pretty good. Kasey looked up at me through her stained eyes, her eyes questioning. But to be honest, I had no idea so I just shrugged at her.

A low sigh was heard from her before she answered Alex with a "Yes."

"Are you guys having sex?" He asked and I could just see him smirking.

"Fuck off," I said, why would he ask that, why?

"If you-"

"Go away." Kaser said and Alex's footsteps walked off a few seconds later.

Did he check on us because he wanted to see if I could handle it, or did he just want to make sure she was okay? Silence filled the stall once again. I'm pretty sure in this moment I'd be able to hear everything going on in this venue. Suddenly Gabe's voice echoed through every speaker in the building. It was the both of us just listening to music.

"Jack," Kasey broke the silence with her soft words. I wanted her to start off because to be completely honest? I don't know what to say. She looked at me again, opening her mouth. "I told you how I feel."

Completely didn't expect this. "About the kiss-" I paused, "did you mean it?"

She nodded just slightly. If I wouldn't have looked at her, I'm sure I would've missed it. Then she closed her eyes and laid her head back.

I didn’t quite know how to say this, I closed my eyes too: "What happened?"

She let the question lingering in the room. I could hear Gabe singing and her breathing. It felt almost a little scary waiting for her answer. Will she even answer? I heard her head turn and opened my eyes to look at her. "It's a long, complicated story."

"You've always been so stubborn." I responded, slightly sad she won't confide the story with me. She's known me, why can't she trust me? "Stubborn but prompt."

"It would be boring otherwise."

"Please, it would never get boring with a badass like me."

"Technically, I started the mud fight."

"Touché."

"It's not your fault I pushed you away when you kissed me."

I processed her words. Kay, if it wasn't my fault, then whose? Something must have made her snap. I turned my head back upwards, leaned back and closed my eyes again. Was she just taking the easy-road out? Kasey does that. A lot. "Don't say it's entirely your fault-"

She cut me off: "Remember my ex-ex boyfriend?"

Her ex-ex boyfriend? Uhm, yes. He punched me. And everyone else who was standing in the way. What does he have to do with this? "Of course," I answered, "met him...in a very unpleasant way." I let the memory of him attacking us on the parking lot float back into mind and then tried to push it away. It was a horrible night. I remember discussing the subject if he abused her a thousand times that night. But setting a rumor in the world like abuse, that's pretty serious.

"When he was still going out with me, he abused me-"

"Wait - what?" I choked; I choked even though deep down I knew. I opened my eyes and looked at her.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, "After he attacked you, I -I didn't want to get you hurt. I care for you and I thought if you knew you'd get the wrong idea about things...I just don't ever want anything happen to you."

I put my arm around her and she laid her legs over mine, I pulled her into me. I didn't know what to say. She stuck up to him because she didn't want me to get hurt? That's a big issue. I heard Kase sob quietly, not caring if she ruined a white shirt. I - We needed to work this out.

"I want to know," I stroke her back carefully, digging my nails slightly into her soft skin. Maybe I didn't know what to say, but I'd listen to her. "please."

And Kase didn’t waste a minute, as if she finally wanted to let it all out. About how it started, about how it began getting worse and all the times he abused her.

She stopped every few minutes to calm down. I listened to everything, rubbing her back the entire time.

She kept going about when she was trying to get out, how there is no way to get out. There's no safe way to get away.

“I wasn’t allowed to interact with any other boy, in the end, I even had to tell him about the girls. And I always had to tell him what I was up to, what I wanted to do, what we did. So I wanted to leave him, but in such a relationship, when you're that deep in. No matter what you do, no matter how you do it. No matter what you say or who you call. There is no safe way to get out. And me trying to get out, it didn't end in a fight. It ended in well-“ she took a deep breath and looked away. She untangled herself from me completely, suddenly sitting next to me in a ball, crying and whimpering. “Rape.”

“He what?” I asked in complete shock, "why'd you never tell me Kasey?"

I was angry at her; I was angry with the world and I was crying. It all made sense, why she hated surprise attacks, why she freaks when someone yells at her, why she doesn't believe in a god, why she's shy around people, why she doesn't back talk, and why she flinches when someone raises their hand. Why she drinks to forget.

She shook her head, “I don’t know. It's not something I go around telling.”

I pulled her into my lap and I kissed her forehead. "I'm here for you, remember?"

“There’s something else Jack,” her voice was so small, so timid as if she was scared. Scared that I'd hurt her? I'd never do that. I couldn't. Anxiousness was killing me. What? I wanted to ask.

I held her a little tighter while we sat in silence for a while, until my phone began ringing.

"It's Matt, I should take that."

"I bet you're late for sound check." She smiled sarcastically.

"And he'll probably butt rape me tonight- oh" I caught myself, but Kase laughed either way.

"Jack-O, I am dealing with that, you know."

"Right," I smiled and picked up.

"Where the hell are you?" Matt questioned.

"Ladies bathroom." I answered obviously.

"Can we once have sound check on time?"

"Yes sir." I saluted and Kaser giggled.

"Who are you with again, geez do you always have to pick up-"

"I'll be there in a second Matty Mc Fly," I cut him of worriedly – hopefully she didn’t pick up on that. I hung up.

"Hey that was my first nickname to Matt." She pushed me. Suddenly on an entire mood level. But I think I got that, like understanding wise. Kase isn't the type of girl who wants to be labeled as weak. She stands up for herself and she acts as if everything was fine. That was partly a good thing, I suppose. As long as she's comfortable with talking about anything with me.

"Too bad," I said in a kids voice and stood up.

I held out my hand, which she gratefully took and with one swift pull she was up on her feet.

"We can talk more about this later, if you want," I whispered, wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her close to me.

Then I laced our hands and pulled her to the main room of the venue where All Time Low was about to sound check. I stopped and turned myself in front of her, instantly my lips curved upwards. I wrapped my arms around her waist once more and pulled her closer. My dark brown eyes stared into her green rounds. I don’t know how to explain it – the thought alone was puzzling. But when she looked at me, then and there with that expression, my heart leaped.

But this was just me being friendly, right?

As I leaned forward, I saw her bracing herself for what might happen. Would I really try to kiss her? Right in front of everyone in a venue that we both didn't even know the name of?

The smile formed across her lips as soon as I planted the faint kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll see you later,” I whispered.

She bit down on her bottom lip, a nervous habit; I knew I was causing goose bumps and shivers on her skin as my breath collided with her. Just like she was doing it to me.

We're just freaking friends.

"I'm going to find the showers." She whispered.

"Matt will show you were they are," I pulled away, all too soon. “Oh, and Kaser," I called, turning on my heels so that I could watch her as I proceeded towards the stage, “Don’t let Matt convince you to shower with him. You’ll catch some nasty shit.”

As soon as the words processed a laugh burst from her lips. Everyone around us was glaring, especially at me. "Is that how you got yours?” She questioned loudly.

I smirked and brought up my hand. All my fingers curled into a fist – all except the middle one. “Herpes, bitch!”

“That’s not something to be proud of!” Kaser laughed, rolling her eyes as she turned on her heel.

At least we were back to our old selves. Being there for each other and doing a lot of crazy dumb shit.