Therapy

It was my last day on tour today, well last full day. I remembered this when Jack and I got back to the bus and Matt was furious as to why we were gone so long when we were supposed to be at Disneyland already.

So Jack and I changed quickly and hopped onto the rented car that would take us to the world of all our dreams.

Jack was holding my hand the entire drive to the all-familiar Disneyworld. My hand feeling more and more awkward sitting in his. My heart pounded so loud I was surprised no one caught on to my nervousness.

Matt, sitting in front of us, was slowly getting really nervous, jumping up and down in his seat.

“So how many times is that for you?” I questioned him, trying to avert my attention from my own nervousness.

“Thirty-fourth,” he replied quickly.

“It’s so weird,” I said, rolling my eyes but smiling.

“Whatever,” he bitched back in a high-pitched voice.

Everyone broke out on laughter, which caused Matt to be upset with us all.

The entire group was running around Disneyworld all day. Alex, Jack, Gabe, Vinny, Ryland and I were walking from store to rollercoaster to the next store. We joked around until lunchtime, when everyone got really hungry, except Jack and I.

“Hey come on, Harry Potter world?”

I looked at Jack and wiggled my eyebrows, “Bye everyone!”

“Hey, there are kids here so please keep it in your pants!”

Jack gave Alex two middle fingers while we ran off to my favorite part of Disneyworld.

At first he took me to Ollivander’s Wand Shop, where they literally replayed the scene out of Harry Potter and I got a real wand! Hermione’s even, to be exact. Then we just went to get a butterbeer and sit around.

“So about yesterday,” I wanted to pick up about his second time cheating last night, “I know you told me you love me and I love you Jack, -“

“We aren’t together Kase,” he rushed, but as hurt flashed across my face, he made a notice to take it back, “I meant it different.”

“It’s okay, I just I want you to know that I can’t be together with you Jack.”

“What do you mean, you can’t be together with me? Kaser, I try my best, okay? I know I’m not perfect,” his eyes locked with mine, “I made mistakes and I will make mistakes in the future. Some of those may be small mistakes, or I may screw up big time. I am far from a saint, you know this, I know this. But I do know that I love you with all of my heart. I’m not the best guy with relationships, my last girl friend… well you know… but it’s different with you. You’re mine, and you’re mine for forever. I will do whatever it takes to keep it that way. I would even give up my music and the band for you if I had to.”

Jack smiled at me and I smiled big. A deep flush crept up into my cheeks. I know what Jack had just said, that he meant it. But did I want him to mean it? Suddenly he grabbed for something in his pocket and handed me a black velvet box.

Oh no! I got really nervous, like choking-not-wanting-to-touch-it nervous. I mean, a velvet box? Nu-uh, not now, not in this situation, not-

“It’s not a proposal,” Jack interrupted my thoughts, “I can read you like a book, you know. It’s a promise ring, I promise to be the best guy in whatever situation for you Kaser.”

I opened it to see the most beautiful ring. Jack carefully picked it up and put it on my left hand, ring finger.

“It’s a promise that I won’t mess up again.”

“Jack-“ I wanted to tell him that I couldn’t accept it; that I wanted to escape from him, that I couldn’t ever be with him, that I have been lying to him and not coming back. Ever.

“And a promise that one day Kaser,” he stopped and smiled that beautiful smile, “One day I’ll marry you.”