Second Chance

Annabelle’s POV

I drop my keys at the small table placed near the door of my loft, kicking the door shut with my foot. It’s been a long day at work. I’ve been busy with Shannon all day & I’m beat. I seriously need to rest this weekend. Thank God it’s Friday. I drop my jacket & purse on the kitchen countertop, going to the fridge to grab some water. I need some H2O in my system NOW. All I’ve been drinking is coffee & I feel my body is gonna explode with so much caffeine. I don’t even think I have blood running through my veins… its black coffee now. I walk to the big windows that let me have an amazing view of New York City. The place that I’ve grown to love & call my home. & as I down my water, sip by sip, I start thinking about everything that’s been going on in my life.

It seems it has become more interesting ever since the guys walked into my life again. It doesn’t mean that I led a boring life before. I might’ve been stuck in a routine for a while, but I loved it. It’s just… I never expected to see them again. Well, I knew it was gonna happen sometime, but I never thought it was gonna be so soon. & I would’ve never thought that I could be friends with Brian again.

It’s been a whole week since we talked everything out & decided to give it a try to our friendship again. I’m not gonna say it’s been easy. They’re still those awkward moments between us, when we just stay quiet & not knowing what to say or act around each other. We even keep our physical contact to a minimum. & I think that because of our history together, those awkward moments will always be there. But we’ve been doing a lot of things together too. He even agreed to go out with me, Shannon & Pauline to this Puerto Rican place, I discovered a couple of years again. We’ve been laughing again, joking around & I know as time passes by, we’ll be as close as we were.

You’ll never be as close as you were that night The stupid little voice in my head says, bringing back a bashful of memories. Memories that I’ve been trying to forget. Memories that I’ve been trying to bury in the deepest most remote place of my mind, but knowing that I’ve been failing miserably over & over again. I sigh, remembering how happy I felt at that time. How Brian made me feel that way. The way I felt so safe in his arms. The way he whispered sweet nothings in my ear after we made love, lulling me to sleep. The way he smiled at me when I caught him staring at me while I slept. The way my skin used to tingle with every touch he gave me. The way my body ache for his attention & stroke. The way he ran his hand through my hair before kissing me with the same love & devotion we shared for each other. The way he had me caught up in love that I almost made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I almost ruined everything & everyone I cared about. All because I was in love with my best friend. & he was in love with me. Yes, Brian loved me.

Loves you The shitty voice pops again. I could easily have a full conversation with it. It seems it won’t leave me alone. I hate it. & I hate it cuz it really makes me question my decision of leaving. But was I supposed to do? Stand by, watching them have a perfect marriage? It nearly killed me to watch Brian marry Michelle, it would’ve been worst if I had to be there to see their way to their happily ever after.

But I can’t complain about the turns of events. I met John.

John was there at the right time. He never rushed things between us even when he claims that the moment he saw me, he knew I was gonna be his. Things developed gradually. There was nothing special or fairytale-like about the way we met. His best friend is dating Alicia’s sister. As simple as that. So he always hanged with Mikey & the guys. & when Gerard asked me to help him out & work with him in a couple of projects he had, we met. We hit it off & started hanging out. First like friends. I started noticing him when I realized that he was the first one that actually made me cry from laughter ever since I left Huntington Beach. & when he asked me out, I decided that it was time for me to throw myself out there. I wanted to experience what ‘dating’ really meant. & he showed me. He was patient with me. Even when he has no idea what happened before I came to New York. & he doesn’t need to know. That’s the past. & when he proposed… I wasn’t even thinking when I said yes. It was spontaneous. Because I’ve really grown to love John.

I think I finally found someone that’s capable to fill the void Brian left in my heart. He loves me & I love him. That’s all I need. & I know he’s gonna make me happy. He already makes me happy & I can see my forever with him. I can see me married with him, with a bunch of kids with his eyes & smile & my hair. I can see us living in a 2 story house in the suburbs, with the white picket fence & the green grass with colorful flowers. I can see us growing old together. & if I can see myself doing all that with him… he must be the one, right?

I stop my train of thoughts when I hear the front door click closed. I turn to see John walking in with blue v neck shirt, his skinny jeans & Vans. I never thought I would go for this look in a guy, but the way his hair falls in his eyes, & the way his shirt exposes part of his chest tattoo makes it hard for me to resist him. He’s irresistible to me. He gives me his infamous smile, the smile that drives thousands of teenage girl’s, & some boys, crazy… a smile that holds something else, something special that’s only for my eyes to see & for my heart to feel.

“Hey, baby” I say, turning to walk to his embrace. He opens his arms & closes it rapidly when I wrap mines around his neck. “I missed you” I say into his neck, placing a small kiss there.

“I missed you too, gorgeous” He says, leaning back so I can stare into his green/hazel eyes. I give him a small smile before I place my lips on his. It’s a small kiss that only lasts a couple of seconds. “Mmm… I missed those the most” He says when we part, before quickly pecking my lips twice. He always does that & I love it.

“How was your flight?” I ask him. The Maine had a couple of shows scheduled in Washington D.C. making John leave for a few days. They were only 3 days but I felt it were like 3 months. I hate being apart from him.

“It was fine” He says, leading us towards my living room & falling into the couch, bringing me down with him. I sit on top of him, my arms still around his neck & start playing with the small hairs that are in the back of his head with one hand while removing the hair from his face.

“Are you hungry?” I ask him, seeing him close his eyes for a minute, before leaning to bury his face on the side of my neck. He shakes his head no & starts rubbing my side & hip with his hand, while running his other one up & down my back. We stay like that for countless minutes, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Bellie” He says after a while. He lifts his head up & looks at me dead in the eye. “I was thinking… well, more like wondering… why you haven’t started planning our wedding” He asks. “I mean… other girls usually start planning their wedding since the first day. But we’ve been engaged for over 6 months &… we haven’t even discussed a date yet” He says & I hear the nervousness in his voice. “Are you regretting marrying me?” He asks.

“Of course not” I immediately answer. How can he think that?

“So you still want to marry me?” He asks & I nod my head furiously yes. “Then what is it?” He asks, almost desperate for an answer.

“I just… I like taking my time” I answer & by the way he tighten his jaw, I know he wasn’t pleased with my answer.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asks, barely opening his mouth to mutter the words. I sigh.

“I used to want this dream wedding. You know… like the ones you see on TV or in movies. With thousands of flowers & walking down the aisle in the church my parents used to take me. All my family & friends would be there to see me get married to the man of my life & start my dream like life” I say, remembering about all the things I wanted before. “I even knew what type of flowers I wanted the centerpieces to have & everything” I say, letting out a small embarrassed chuckle.

“Really?” He asks me. “I never knew about that. Why didn’t you tell me before?” He asks, twirling a piece of my hair in between his fingers. He loves doing that. He claims that he could spend his whole life & eternity running his fingers through my hair. Now you know why I sport it long. He loves long hair. I’m not fond of it, cuz it takes me more time to style it, but if he loves it, then I can bare with it for a while too.

“Because… it’s not important to me anymore. I don’t care who is there. I don’t care if I wear a big puffy white dress or some jeans & a t shirt. All I want is for you to be there with me. All I need is you. Everything else doesn’t matter” I say, speaking the truth. “Yes, I might’ve wanted that. But I don’t anymore. I don’t care about anything like that anymore” I say, omitting the part that it actually brings too many painful memories. “So, I’m sorry if you think I’m not excited about this. Because I am. I love you, John. I love you so much, that if asked me to elope right now, I would do it” I say. A big smile appears on his face before he leans & kisses my lips. This kiss lingers a bit longer. It’s full of passion & love that I fall in a trance. I’m in a place where we’re the only ones that exists.

“Let’s do it” He says, his lips never leaving mine. I open my eyes to stare into his, scooting my head back a bit, leaving that blissful place my mind was.

“What?” I ask, shocked about his statement.

“Let’s go get married right now. We can catch a flight to Vegas & get married” He says, running his hand through my hair while his eyes study me. “Just you & me. What do you say?” He asks, his gaze finally locking with my eyes. My mouth hangs open a bit. I wasn’t expecting that. Elope? Really? Am I capable to do that? I’ve never been a risk taker. I like to be in control of things. I like to plan things. & even when I’ve been adventurous… I’ve never taken such a huge risk like this. Getting married right now? Being single today & married tomorrow? Leaving a Ms. & returning a Mrs.? “What do you say?” He asks, his smile never faltering even though I can shot his proposition down, almost as if he was trying to convince me with that. I see the determination in his eyes & I know that he’s not kidding. I close my eyes for a second, before turning around & standing up. I grab his hand & make him stand. His face is no longer adorned with a smile & happiness. It’s now with confusion & deception. Almost sadness.

“How fast can we pack?” I murmur, locking my eyes with his. I see him give out a nervous laugh before wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Don’t bother packing, love… we’ll just leave” He says before kissing me. I grant him access to my mouth easily. Even though I feel nervous about this… it also feels right. I can’t believe I’m gonna be Mrs. John O’Callaghan in just a few hours. In a few hours I’m gonna be married to John.

I hope you don’t regret it later The voice says but I lock it out, because John is pulling me towards the door.