I Was Breathless by the Look in Your Eye

Leah was on a short trip with Kyle, leaving me alone in her apartment. Jonathan had gone back to Winnipeg for a few days, which meant I was completely alone. I ended up going out in the city with a few friends from my class.

“Look, all I'm saying is, I'd tap that.” Becca said, sipping her coffee as we walked back to my sister's place.

“Shut up, Jonathan and I are just friends.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Yeah, a really hot friend.” Sam countered, a huge smirk on her face.

“Guys stop! He's Patrick's best friend!” I whined.

“Why do you care what Patty thinks? You're not together, and Jonathan is a good guy. I don't see what the problem is.” Becca said.

“This conversation ends now.” I said, turning and looking at them. They both smirked and looked at each other.

“She's in love with Toews!” Sam sang, dancing in front of me with a huge grin.

“Oh my god, she's blushing!” Becca sang back, dancing with Sam. why.......

“Guys, shut up!” I whined, covering my face with my hands. They stopped suddenly right as I walked into someone. I removed my hands from my face and saw Patrick standing in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.

“Get out of here, Kane. She doesn't want to talk to you.” Becca snapped, coming to my side and pulling me away from him.

“I just wanted to talk to you.” He said, looking in my eyes.

“Why should she?” Sam said, coming to my other side. Patrick looked like a puppy that's been thrown to the side of a highway. Scared and alone. My heart started to ache from just looking at him.

“Guys, I can handle it. Why don't you go home and I'll call you later.” I said quietly, looking at them both.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked, gently rubbing my arm.

“Yeah, I'll be okay.” I said with a nod.

They both sighed and gave me quick hugs before turning and walking away. But they made sure to get one last glare at Patrick before heading for the parking lot and driving away. People were slowly passing me on the street, gawking at Patrick but not daring to stop and ask him for a picture. They could see it wasn't a good time. At least they have some respect.

“Can I talk to you inside?” He asked, his hands stuffed inside the pockets of his hoodie.

“Sure.” I said, heading inside with him right behind me.

We stayed silent the entire way up to my sister's apartment. I could feel him looking at me but my eyes remained on the floor. As we stepped out of the elevator, a strange noise came from him as he stepped in front of me and pulled me in as close as possible, holding me against him. My face was pressed into his chest and I could hear him repeating sorry over and over again. I could hear his heart pounding as his voice shook. I gently pushed him away, the look on his face was like I had ripped his heart straight out of his chest.

“Patrick....I can't.” I said, looking away from him.

“Shayla, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I love you so much.” He said, taking a step forward. I took a step back and wrapped my arms around myself.

“I think you should leave.” I said, glancing at my sister's door, just a few feet down the hall.

“It's Jonathan..........isn't it?” He said, making me snap my gaze back to him.

“What!?” I squeaked.

“He's a nice guy. I've seen how much he's there for you. I'm not mad.” He said.

“We're not together.” I said.

“You don't have to lie to me.” He said. “I bet he's waiting for you inside right now. He's going to tell you how he felt like he needed to be here. I know him, and I know he likes you.”

“Patrick....” I started, but stopped, closing my eyes.

“He won't hurt you. He's the complete opposite of me. And I know he'll threaten me with my life if he knew I was talking to you. He told me to leave you alone.” He said. “I know I'm stupid, but I can't help myself. I just lay there, alone at night, and think of how fucking stupid I was to ever threaten you.”

“I keep seeing that look on your face after I punched a hole in the wall. It hurts, it always will. I knew that one person I loved in this city was terrified of me and I was to blame for every bit of it. I'm an asshole, a dick, whatever you can think of. But I know I'm just hurting you more by doing this. I'll leave you alone, I won't talk to you or visit you. I just......wanted to say that I love you one last time.” He said.

I stood frozen in the hall as he kissed my forehead and walked away. My heart was pounding in my ears and I felt like I was going to throw up. I slowly dragged my self to the door and pushed it open, slamming it shut and letting out a long breath. I looked up and saw Jonathan passed out on the couch. Of course, Patrick would be right. He stirred a little then shot off the couch, looking dazed and confused. He looked over at me and smiled, rubbing his face and walking over.

“Surprise.” He mumbled tiredly, still smiling as he pulled me into a hug.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice muffled by his chest. I could melt right now.

“I just needed to be with you.” He said. I sighed and wrapped my arms around him more.