I Was Breathless by the Look in Your Eye
That's What It Says
I wanted to scream at Shayla once I saw that… that… thing walk into my apartment. Just the way he appeared bugged the shit out of me! He’s drunk! And he’s in my house! I wanted to kick him out, but…
I had other things to worry about right now!
Ever since I’ve been home from Miami I haven’t felt… right. I don’t know how to describe it! And I hate it. All I can say is that… I don’t feel good. And I haven’t had a period this month.
Wanting to cancel the idea of me being pregnant, I took a test… while Shayla was supposed to be taking Patrick’s jersey back. When she walked through the door with him I kind of forgot about it. I was too worried about getting my two cents in.
Just watching her take care of him bothered me. It annoyed me actually. I’m so close to giving up. I can’t worry about this. I have enough to worry about right now. Whoa… no… I can’t worry. I’m not pregnant. I’m sure I’m just stressed because Kyle was and it’s just a coincidence. I’m not pregnant. I can’t be!
While Shayla was still with him, I made my way back to my bathroom. I was nervous though. Why am I nervous? Maybe it’s because I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am pregnant! I walked in and reached for that stupid test. Just as my fingers grabbed onto it, my sister’s voice echoed throughout my room, scaring so badly that I dropped the pregnancy test to the floor. God damn it!
“Leah, I know you don’t like him, but he’s…” she started to say as I scrambled to pick up that stupid white plastic stick.
I didn’t want her to see it! I quickly snatched it from the ground and hid it behind my back while I turned to face her. From the look she was giving me, it was way too late… she had seen it. FUCK!
“What… is that?” she asked, dropping her volume to a voice barely above a whisper.
“Nothing,” I told her quickly, forcing a smile across my face.
“Leah, is that… is that a pregnancy test?” she questioned as her hands slowly made their way to her face.
“You have no idea what you’re…” I started to say, but she zipped around me and pulled the test from my hands.
She looked between me and the test, obviously in disbelief. Some example I am huh?
“You’re… pregnant?” she asked much softer than before.
“I…” I attempted to start saying, but her words hit me.
She had looked at the results. She just told me my answer… the answer I didn’t want to hear… and couldn’t hear.
“I’m… I’m pregnant?” I muttered, looking back at her while so many things ran through my head.
“That’s what it says,” she replied, holding the test out to me.
I took it from her and looked down at the little window. It most definitely said pregnant in big bold letters. Everything just turned into this haze. I’m… pregnant. Kyle and I have only been together for six months and now I’m… pregnant.
Without saying anything, I walked out of the bathroom and sat on my bed. The positive pregnancy test was still in my hands. I couldn’t look away from it. As the time passed Shayla came out too and sat next to me. It took her a few seconds, but she reached over and pulled me in for a tight hug… bringing a whole lot of tears out.
She let me cry on her shoulder for what seemed like forever. Once I pulled my head up off of her shoulder to wipe my eyes, she started talking.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” she tried to soothe.
“No, it’s not,” I sniffled.
“Yes, it will. Kyle loves you,” she countered.
“You don’t understand. He’s family is super religious. He’s going to flip when I tell him,” I cut her off.
“No, he won’t,” was her response.
I just let it go. She doesn’t know Kyle like I do. Kyle comes from a family of ministers. When I tell him, if I can even muster up the nerve to tell him, I just have a feeling it’s not going to be good. Just thinking about it makes me feel so horrible. Why did this have to happen?
Shayla stayed with me a little longer before she said she’d go check on Patrick. I stayed curled up in bed with my phone next to me. Kyle’s number was on it. Deep down, I really wanted to tell him. It’s his child. He has a right to know, but… I just couldn’t.
I canceled out of everything, bringing my phone up to its main screen. Kyle’s smiling face was on it. Oddly enough, it made me smile. It just made me think of how cute our baby was going to be. In nine months I was going to see this… and I had to tell Kyle before my stomach started to grow rapidly. Easier said than done…
I had other things to worry about right now!
Ever since I’ve been home from Miami I haven’t felt… right. I don’t know how to describe it! And I hate it. All I can say is that… I don’t feel good. And I haven’t had a period this month.
Wanting to cancel the idea of me being pregnant, I took a test… while Shayla was supposed to be taking Patrick’s jersey back. When she walked through the door with him I kind of forgot about it. I was too worried about getting my two cents in.
Just watching her take care of him bothered me. It annoyed me actually. I’m so close to giving up. I can’t worry about this. I have enough to worry about right now. Whoa… no… I can’t worry. I’m not pregnant. I’m sure I’m just stressed because Kyle was and it’s just a coincidence. I’m not pregnant. I can’t be!
While Shayla was still with him, I made my way back to my bathroom. I was nervous though. Why am I nervous? Maybe it’s because I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am pregnant! I walked in and reached for that stupid test. Just as my fingers grabbed onto it, my sister’s voice echoed throughout my room, scaring so badly that I dropped the pregnancy test to the floor. God damn it!
“Leah, I know you don’t like him, but he’s…” she started to say as I scrambled to pick up that stupid white plastic stick.
I didn’t want her to see it! I quickly snatched it from the ground and hid it behind my back while I turned to face her. From the look she was giving me, it was way too late… she had seen it. FUCK!
“What… is that?” she asked, dropping her volume to a voice barely above a whisper.
“Nothing,” I told her quickly, forcing a smile across my face.
“Leah, is that… is that a pregnancy test?” she questioned as her hands slowly made their way to her face.
“You have no idea what you’re…” I started to say, but she zipped around me and pulled the test from my hands.
She looked between me and the test, obviously in disbelief. Some example I am huh?
“You’re… pregnant?” she asked much softer than before.
“I…” I attempted to start saying, but her words hit me.
She had looked at the results. She just told me my answer… the answer I didn’t want to hear… and couldn’t hear.
“I’m… I’m pregnant?” I muttered, looking back at her while so many things ran through my head.
“That’s what it says,” she replied, holding the test out to me.
I took it from her and looked down at the little window. It most definitely said pregnant in big bold letters. Everything just turned into this haze. I’m… pregnant. Kyle and I have only been together for six months and now I’m… pregnant.
Without saying anything, I walked out of the bathroom and sat on my bed. The positive pregnancy test was still in my hands. I couldn’t look away from it. As the time passed Shayla came out too and sat next to me. It took her a few seconds, but she reached over and pulled me in for a tight hug… bringing a whole lot of tears out.
She let me cry on her shoulder for what seemed like forever. Once I pulled my head up off of her shoulder to wipe my eyes, she started talking.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” she tried to soothe.
“No, it’s not,” I sniffled.
“Yes, it will. Kyle loves you,” she countered.
“You don’t understand. He’s family is super religious. He’s going to flip when I tell him,” I cut her off.
“No, he won’t,” was her response.
I just let it go. She doesn’t know Kyle like I do. Kyle comes from a family of ministers. When I tell him, if I can even muster up the nerve to tell him, I just have a feeling it’s not going to be good. Just thinking about it makes me feel so horrible. Why did this have to happen?
Shayla stayed with me a little longer before she said she’d go check on Patrick. I stayed curled up in bed with my phone next to me. Kyle’s number was on it. Deep down, I really wanted to tell him. It’s his child. He has a right to know, but… I just couldn’t.
I canceled out of everything, bringing my phone up to its main screen. Kyle’s smiling face was on it. Oddly enough, it made me smile. It just made me think of how cute our baby was going to be. In nine months I was going to see this… and I had to tell Kyle before my stomach started to grow rapidly. Easier said than done…