Save Yourself Before You Fall, These Things You're Doing, They're so Wrong.

I eat.

-Andy



I reluctantly walked into the greasy establishment, ordering a smoothie and sitting next to Jinxx. "You should eat, Andy." Jon started up. I shook my shake slightly. "I mean real food, Andy." I sighed. This already? I just walked in.
"There is no real food here." It was true.
"This is real." CC said with his mouth full. It sounded like he'd said, 'Dzz-zz eel.' I pretended not to hear it.
"Eat food, Andy." I glared at Ash, who said that.
"I'm full." Jake looked over, offering me his fries.
"Eat." I shook my head.
"I'm fine, Jake." I pushed the fries back towards Jake. Jinxx took a fry from the container, putting it into my mouth. My eyes widened immensely.
"You will eat and like it. You're skin and bones and you have to eat. Don't think that I believe your bullshit excuses. You obviously have not been eating. You look ninety pounds and you're six foot two. You need to gain weight so fucking gain it. Eat this food or I'll force feed you. So fucking eat, Andy Six." The guys stared at Jinxx. My eyes widened even further somehow. I could only describe my expression as a deer in the headlights. I got up, walking off.



I watched Andy leave. The guys were still looking at me. "What? Like you haven't noticed." I said. They had to have seen him! We play onstage with him every day! We're on tour!
"Well.." Jake replied. Is he saying that he didn't notice?
"We were kind of used to it.." I looked at CC like he was stupid. "What?"
"You're stupid!"
"I've been trying to get him to eat for a long time. It's no use telling him to.." Ash told me. I'm glad someone noticed. Ash got up, walking to Andy.



I stomped onto the bus. Instead of collapsing in my bunk, I walked to the small bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I didn't know what they were talking about, really. I stared, seeing the rolls of fat through my shirt. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to imagine what they saw. I opened my eyes. Nothing was different. Ash came in.
"Your pants are falling off.. You need new ones." I looked down, nodding in agreement. I don't know which one I disliked more; Ash yelling or Ash being quiet. "Let's go get some.. Come on."

I followed him as we walked to a nearby Hot Topic. He grabbed pants that looked extra small. I looked at him like he was insane. "Just try it." He said, sending me to the dressing room. I pulled up the pants and surprisingly, they fit. I looked in the mirror and slipped off my shirt. Bones. I saw my bones. My ribs jutted out over my caved stomach. The only thing that showed where my stomach ended were my harsh hip bones. I saw the size on the pants: XXS. My mouth gaped and I slipped on my shirt again, putting on my own pants. I walked back out silently. We bought the pants, going back to the bus. I collapsed in my bunk, but not before I heard Ashley say, "He knows."



Or maybe I don't. I'm size XXS in pants. Fuck this shit.