Church On Sunday

I look into the rear-view mirror at the airport in the distance behind me, and frown. I had just dropped Ramona off. Saying bye to her always really fucking sucks.
She‘s growing up so fast these days, I really feel like I miss out on a lot of shit. She was so pretty, so smart- just like her mother. A little too smart in-fact.

I thought she had seen Billie and I making out in the kitchen last week, but I wasn’t sure. But she cornered me about it on the drive up here, where we were alone.

"Dad..."

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"How come Uncle Billie was spending so much time with us?"

"I uh...see...um. Well your Uncle Bill and Aunt Adie are having some problems and uh, he just needs a friend, you know?"

"Uh huh, I guess" Her eyes clouded over and she went quiet. Damn, she’s so much like her mum sometimes.

"Yeah, like when your sad, and your friends make you feel better? Well that’s how it is with Billie and me, hon."

"Yeah.“ She sighs and fixes on burning holes in the side of my head.

“But I don’t kiss my friends, Dad." Oh. Shit. I knew it! Fuck Billie, why then? Why d'you kiss me when she was in the next room? I sigh and drag a hand down my face.

"Yeah, that’s true…“ I clench my jaw tight, trying to get the right words. I cant be Mr Tre Fucking Cool now, its not appropriate.

“See, I’m gonna tell you like it is. I don’t like lying to you and your old enough to understand..."

"You love Uncle Billie, right?" She interrupts me, staring at me dead on, her eyes steely.

"Yeah, baby. I do. And he's going to come and live with me pretty soon." Soon like tonight, I mean.

"Are Aunt Adie, Joey and Jakob coming too? Are they gonna be, like, my brothers?" She questions further. A bit hesitant, but I knew she knew what was coming next.

"Um no, to the first and... well... maybe to the second." I smile to myself, keeping my eyes on the freeway.

"Oh." she falls back into the seat, and pushes a stray strand of light brown hair behind her ear.

"Well, if you love him Dad, then you can make out. I think its cool." She smiles slowly.
"Really baby? You mean that?" Fuck me, that was easier than I had expected.

"Yeah. I just still wanna see Aunt Adie, ok? That wont change right? I can still hang with Joe and Jake?"

"I don’t see why that should be a problem, I know your Aunt Adie loves you too, baby."

"Awesome." She looks out the window, smiling. She looks like me; the same straight nose and strong jaw. I reach down and stroke her cheek.

"You know how much I love you, dontcha kiddo? Nothing’s gonna change that."

"I know Daddy, I just want you to be happy. Uncle Billie makes you happy. I get it... I am 12, you know."

"Really? Just 12? Day-um girl, you don’t look a day over a foetus!" I say with a 'Ghetto' accent.
She giggles and rolls her eyes.

"Shut up!" She playfully hits me on the arm.

"No, like, O. M. G! You shut up!" I switch from 'Ghetto' to Valley Girl and she laughs again. We carry on like that for a while, the serious conversation forgotten like old news. I mean, I didn’t think this was gonna be easy. But she made it a streak of piss. My daughter's fucking cool...wait...of course she is, she's my fucking daughter.

***

I indicate that I’m about to turn right onto the exit that takes me back to my gated community, and my phone rings.

"Baby Love" By The Supremes is blaring from the small device on the dash. I laugh out loud, forgetting that Billie had changed the preset ring on my phone the day before.
I flip it open and speak into the mouth piece.

"Sup, Baby Love?" I smile.

"Nothin’, where are ya?"

"Just headin' in. Should be there in 5, why? Miss me?" I drop my voice slightly lower, trying to sound as sexy as possible.

"Uh huh. I just finished un-packing and had a shower. I’m ready for bed." He exhales heavily and I can tell he's smoking.

"Well keep it warm for me, ok. How's Mike?"

"Oh, uh, he's good. Busting my balls a bit, but yeah. He just cares about Adie and the kids, is all. Ramona get off okay?"

"Of course Mike‘s pissed. Ramona’s fine thanks- amazing actually, but I‘ll tell you later…look, I’m around the corner, I'll be there in a sec."

"Ok…see ya soon." I flip the phone shut and slide it into my jacket pocket. I can see the house now. The home Billie and I are gonna be making for ourselves.
We'd made it over the first couple of hurdles, but somehow I think the home stretch would be far more difficult.

I park the car and make my way into the house from the door in the garage.

"Dude, you really need some new fucking underwear! That shit’s just nasty!" Billie shouts from the top of the stairs waving a stained pair of pants over his head.

"How’s about I don’t wear any?" I growl, removing my clothes as I make my way towards him two steps at a time.
"Well Hello, Mr Cool." His green eyes twinkle with laughter.