Absolutely Hate You

"Hey, babe." I said as Mac walked towards me. I was on the couch reading Harry Potter, I put a bent at the top and closed the book and placed it down. I opened my arms wide as he made a dive in to me. He was so big compared to me that he knocked me down onto the couch. I giggled lightly and squeezed my arms around him tight. I really appreciate him in my life. "Wassup?" I asked, he groaned rather loudly into my shoulder and neck. I felt his vibrating and air between my shoulder and neck and it tickled. I squealed.
"Rough day?" I asked him. He nodded into my shoulder, this time his hair tickled me.
"Stop tickling me." I said to him, he gave a throaty laugh. "So, what's wrong?" I asked.
"Well, today was rough and painful… physical and emotional." He said, I caressed his hair. I liked his hair, I loved his hair more than mine.
"I'm sorry babe." I said to him.
"The only good thing about today was you getting your cast off." He said into my neck, it tickled again. I smiled at the fact that he remembered.
"You remembered." I said. He raised his head and put it to face my face. It was so close that I can see his light freckles and some acne spots, but his eyes made me lost so much that I could barely notice anything.
"I love you. I only remember things that I love. And one day if I forget anything, then I'm stupid because I love you so much." He said. I looked at him. I felt like tearing but it was stupid, why should I cry. I bit my lip and hid my face into his body. I was small enough that he turned us around and I was on top. It felt weird… I don't know. I mean we already have said it to each other but it felt weird to say I love you to a person that you haven't known for that long… we only met this year. He's not my blood relative too, which is a good thing in our relationship… a very GOOD thing. I just felt like saying I love you to him is like betraying everything I believed in, like giving more love to family than friends…. but this year changed it all. Friends are family.
"I love you too." I said. I pressed my lips onto his. I held it for a long time, he then moved and kissed me more movingly. We mushed our lips together in sync. I felt our nostril making warm breaths between our faces. I was caught up as he was in this. I pulled my hand up to his face, I caressed it then put my hand behind his neck. We were "hot and heavy." I kept on kissing him, his lips were soft and just the feeling of his mouth on my lips made me tingle… it made my whole body tingle. I felt too… caught up. I gave him a last kiss and slowly pulled away. I looked at him. I noticed that I was kneeling on top of him. My legs were on both sides of his body.
"Wow." He said in a breath out. I laughed. I laid my head on his body.
"Yea." I said.
"And then why didn't it continue?" He asked.
"Because…" I said.
"Because?" He asked.
"I just don't want to." I said.
"Can we just kiss more then?" He asked. I raised my head and looked at him. I kissed his cheek.
"There you go." I said and smiled. He sighed and rested his head down.
"My girlfriend doesn't want to make out with me… just great." He said. I smiled and laughed lightly.
"Not that… you silly goose." I said. I kissed him on his face again.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing…" I said.
"Okay, I know enough girls to know that "nothing" means "something." He said. I sighed, I didn't want to tell him.
"It's nothing." I said.
"There you go again." he said.
"I mean it there's nothing wrong. Give it a break." I said angrily now. I stood up off him by now.
"Okay, it's obviously something." He said, "Why are we fighting about this?" He said.
"We're not fighting. You're just putting things in my mouth." I said.
"Yea, spit… my spit. Is there something wrong with me?" He asks now standing up too.
"No. There's nothing wrong." I said.
"There it is. Why can't you tell me?" He asks.
"Fine, but… I will feel so embarrassed." I said finally giving up.
"What's wrong. You know that I'll understand." He said.
"No… maybe." I said defeated. "I feel hypocritical." I said.
"How? Why do you feel hypocritical about kissing me." He said. "We've done it so many times.. What's the differerence with now?"
"Oh, wait never mind. Not hypocritical but another word. God, I feel so stupid. I'm so lost here! I just… I was getting aroused." I said slowly to him… I felt so embarrassed, I looked up at him slowly and painfully to see his reaction. He was just smiling.
"You're a silly goose, you know that?" He said. I groaned.
"I want to die!" I exaggerated.
"Don't say that. Do you think I don't feel like that too? Well, at least you don't show it but I do... I mean I'm a guy and stuff so well… us guys show it alright." He said.
"Still… I'm a girl." I said.
"Well, it's a part of life. People live to reproduce." He said shrugging. I knew he was joking at that comment. I whacked his arm.
"We're not going to reproduce anything." I said.
"Not now.. but soon." He said smiling at me.
"I feel immoral." I said to him.
"You're not immoral… you're a perfect person… you're fine." He said and rested a hand on mine.
"I'm not perfect." I said looking down.
"Well, you're perfect to me… your mom… Lexi, Kain, Daniel, and maybe Jenny." He said.
"Funny… not to Kain or Jenny." I joked.
"Kain loves you.. we all do." he said.
"Why do you always say the right things? You're a guy… aren't I supposed to say that to you?" I said.
"Yea.. you should start taking your job more seriously missy." He said and smiled. I felt reassured. I pressed my lips against his… I held it there for a long time.

"So..." I said. We were at my work place, I was on break so I made us some smoothies and we drank.
"On our three day weekend do you want to go and counsel with me and Daniel?" she asked.
"It's Daniel and I." I corrected. "And you two counseling young minds is just a bad mix all around." I said and sipped my smoothie.
"Uh, no! Well, we're going to his fat camp where we are going to work with kids for three days. This means a lot to Daniel since he used to go there and stuff." Lexi said looking elsewhere.
"Hmm, maybe then if it means a lot to him. Can I bring Mac?" I asked. She rolled her eyes.
"Yea, whatever bring your boy toy." she said.
"Well you have your boytoy with you. Might as well drag mine." I said and we both laughed.
"Well Mac isn't really a boytoy and I'm not doing it with him so.." I said.
"You can't believe it but... I felt like a slut yesterday." I said to her. I explained about getting aroused by Mac and how we fought.
"It's okay to feel that way. And you guys are still on first base? I mean it's passed about a year now... Well, seven months since you two dated or liked each other." She said.
"Yea, I've only been friends with you for about five months." I said.
"That just proves everything. When you like someone, time is not the limit... Or in your case it's unlimited." She said.