What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

"Jess! Open the door! Talk to me! What's wrong?! Let me in!" Stephen yelled as he kept pounding on the door.

I tried wiping my tears again. I wanted to open the door to Stephen, but I was too weak to even get up. I was having an emotional breakdown in the corner of my room and my shirt was getting soaked with me crying but I couldn't stop.

"Jess-- Shit," Stephen muttered then I heard steps fading away from the door.

He wasn't gonna leave me. I just knew it. He was doing something smart. He was trying to find a way to get to me. I just knew it.

I heard steps getting louder as he approached the door again. There was a clanging sound with his steps which told me he found the key ring which had all the keys of the house in it. I knew he was a smart boy. He looked for the right key then opened the door.

He threw the keys down as he rushed to me. He put his arms around me tightly and slowly started calming me down. "Shh, Jess. It's okay. Shh." He whispered.

I just nodded into his chest as he continued.

"Jess, I'm sorry. Shit, so much for a good first date," He mumbled as he kissed my forehead. "I'm so fucking sorry,"

"It's," I sobbed. "Not your fault. Oh my God." I tried to slow my breathing down.

"Shh," He pushed my hair out of my face and rubbed my back. "It's okay. It's okay."

--

"Jess, I told you to be careful!" Sarah scolded me as she wadded her finger.

"I am being careful!" I muttered in defense being the nine-year-old girl I was.

"No, you're not supposed to go wandering off without me." She continued, clutching onto my hand tighter.

"Isn't it great being sixteen?" I teased. "You have to watch your baby cousin all the time!"

"You're nine, you're not a baby anymore but your parents think so. I'm just trying to make a good impression." She looked down at me, then knelt to be in the same eye level as me. "Look, sweety, I like being with you. Why don't you like me?"

"Because you're old." I spat.

"Sweetheart, you don't have any cousins your age, I'm the closest."

"Okay." I nodded, playing with the marbles she gave me in my free hand.

"Sarah?" A boy about her age said after bumping into her.

"Dex?" Sarah's eyes widened. "Oh my God! What are you doing here?!" She asked after letting go of my hand.

She almost pushed me off. She let go with force if that was possible which knocked the three marbles off my hand.

"Sarah," I whined but she didn't respond, she was too busy talking to her friend 'Dex'.

"Okay, fine, I'll go get them myself." I muttered as I mindlessly followed my marbles rolling onto the street.

"Jessica!" Sarah yelled. She pushed me off the street and lights started flashing. I looked back.

"Sarah!" I cried as the car driver stopped the car and stepped out of his vehicle to help Sarah whose head was bleeding and she was knocked unconscious.

'Dex' also ran to her rescue while I stood there not knowing what to do.

I met my parents back at the hospital with my aunt and uncle who were extremely mad at me. They eyed me with the most horrible glares I've ever received and they were extremely upset.

I killed my cousin.

After the doctor left and had told them what happened, they started yelling at me calling me a terrible bitch and that it should've been me instead of Sarah.

"You're a fucking Shame to this family, Jessica. A fucking shame."

"Shit," I groaned as my senses started to wake up realizing I was having a nightmare. I tried to move but I was locked in a hug.

I opened my eyes to see Stephen asleep with his arms around me, he looked tired.

He slept on the floor for me. With me.

"Stephen?" I tried to clear my throat then tried to speak louder. "Stephen,"

His eyes opened. He immediately tightened his hug.

"Stop, I can't breathe." I quietly joked.

"I'm sorry." He loosened his grip the slightest bit.

"I was joking--"

"No, no. This. I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"It's not your fault," I replied my voice cracking a bit.

"Please tell me you're feeling better." He pleaded pulling back just enough for him to look into my eyes. He pushed my hair out of my face.

"I am feeling better." I said in accordance to what he just told me to do. "All because of you."

"Jess, I'm so sorry." He gave me a kiss.

"Stop saying sorry, it's not your fault." I buried my head into his chest again.

It really wasn't his fault. It was mine. Completely mine. I killed my cousin. And it wrecked me to be told that I was a shame and a disgrace to my family. It was the only part of my life Stephen didn't already know and now he's pinning the blame on himself. It wasn't fair for him.

I took a deep breath. "I'll tell you about it."