What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

"Mmmmmm," Trey mumbled.

"Quit being a pig, there's a girl here." Garrett punched his brother's arm.

"Oh my God, but this is soooo goooooood!" Trey continued eating his pizza.

I squirmed in my seat, wondering why Garrett would even get the idea that seeing a guy pig out on a pizza that was definitely worth pigging out on would make me feel uncomfortable. I considered myself a pig most of the times when I ate outside with my band mates, so what was Garrett worrying about?

"Oh my God, Jared! I love you!" Trey moaned over his pizza.

"Dude, stop it, you're embarrassing me." Garrett glared at him.

"Can't stop," Trey swallowed. "Won't stop."

"Very funny, Trey." Garrett shook his head.

"It's fine," I finally spoke up, not wanting to be the reason to the start of an argument between the Nickelsen brothers.

"You sure?" Garrett crossed his arms realizing he just lost the argument he was about to have with Trey,

"Yeah." I grinned at him.

"So you and Kennedy are okay now?" Jawn spoke up.

"What?" Kennedy and I simultaneously asked.

"You were alone in the kitchen for five minutes, don't tell me that wasn't enough for you two to make up." Jawn said in disbelief.

"Oh, we made up." Kennedy nonchalantly added to Jawn's statement.

"Made out?"

"What?" Kennedy and I did the same thing again.

"What? No," Kennedy shook his head. "We just.. Made up. We're.. Friends."

"Friends?" Jawn continued shaking his leg up and down.

"Yeah." Kennedy and I spoke up at the same time again.

"Really now," Jawn suspiciously squinted his eyes.

"Stephen, I think we should tell them." I secretly tugged on his hand while muttering the words quietly to him.

He nodded.

"You tell them." I said aloud, this time, catching the attention of everyone.

He sighed. "Okay, well," Stephen started.

Pat excitedly waited for what Stephen was gonna say, but that was only because he already knew.

Jared, Jawn and Garrett looked at us intently.

"Yeah, uhm. Jess and I are together now." Stephen said as if it weren't a big deal.

There was a moment of silence.

In no time, Jawn's jaw was dropped while Jared and Garrett's face spelled out 'Does it look like I give a fuck?'

"Close your mouth, a fly's gonna get in it," Pat reached over to Jawn's jaw and pushed his mouth close.

Jawn shook Pat's hand off. "What?! But I thought you and Kennedy--" He looked at me with his confused green eyes. "What?!"

"Things didn't work out for us." Kennedy shrugged.

"What do you mean?! You've been together for three years since high school and you didn't even tell me and now you guys are over? That's sad!" Jawn made his side-comments.

"Things didn't work out. Okay? That's it." Kennedy stood up. "Yeah." He bowed his head to try to hide the hurt look on his face. "I'll go get some more sodas."

We all agreed to let him go by himself because we were all aware of how he was feeling.

It hurt me to see him like that, but I wasn't going to let him get in between me and Stephen. I was happy with Stephen. I loved him. And he loved me. And it was he and me against the world. It sounds dumb, really, but it isn't.

Kennedy lost me but he still has me.

Did that make sense? He lost me as a lover, but got me back as a friend.

He was right when he said Stephen couldn't be my best friend and my boyfriend at the same time. It was dangerous. And now that I think about it, letting him try to be both was also stupid.

We completely let go of being friends to become lovers, and so far, so good.

But Kennedy still wanted me. And I'm don't just think it. I know it. Kennedy loved me. Kennedy loves me, and no matter how many times he'd try to deny it, we'd know he was lying to us. And lying to himself too.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Kennedy came back with two bottles and his hair in his face, covering his eyes, trying to cover up the fact that he was crying.

"Here," He put the sodas on the table. "Jared, I'm crashing here tonight, is that alright?"

"Sure thing, Kenny." Jared took one of the soda bottles Kennedy set down.

"I'm heading off to bed now then." Kennedy's voice cracked. "Good night. I had a great time with y'all." He started walking away from us.

I followed him down the dark hall.

He didn't have an idea I was following him, and it was quite entertaining to think I was some sort of spy.

He opened the door of what I'm guessing was the guest room and just dived face first into the bed. He kicked his shoes off and took his shirt off and threw it at a random direction.

I walked over to him. "You okay?"

His head darted up to show that he was surprised to have heard me there but he didn't hold his head high enough for me to see if he was really crying. "Oh, uhm. Yeah."

"You don't sound okay," I sat next to him.

"It's nothing. Please, just.. Just.. Leave me alone. Please." Kennedy murmured through the pillow as he set his head back down.

"Doesn't sound like 'nothing' to me,"

"Please, Jess. Leave me alone. Please."

"Okay," I sighed. "Don't hurt yourself, okay?"

"Okay," His voice continued to crack.

"Good night kiss?" I leaned over.

"Okay," He repeated.

I kissed the corner of his lips. "Good night, best friend."

"Okay," He muttered.

And that was the last of his voice I've heard for that night.