We're Not Perfect

Craig hadn’t left his room all day, and he ignored everyone who knocked on his door. I took a chance and tried the knob. I was in luck; Craig had forgotten to lock the door. I slipped in to see him laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “Craig?”

“Get out,” he said, not moving. I stayed where I was. “I said get out!”

I turned and ran down the stairs when he said that. The rest of the band was in the living room when I got there. Max quickly got up and pulled me in close. Moments later, Craig came down too.

“If the door’s closed when you open it, it’s appreciated if you close it after you,” he said coldly. “Especially when you go into someone’s room uninvited.”

“Craig, chill. She’s your sister,” Robert said.

Craig glared at me. “Why should she let herself in to my room when she’s obviously found someone better than me?” That last comment was all it took. I broke away from Max and ran out the front door. I couldn’t stay there and listen to my own brother use the same line an ex-boyfriend has used when he didn’t like how close Craig and I were.

I ran to the park I’d found last time I’d run out of the house, only this time it was filled with kids. I made my way to the small group of trees on the other side of the field and sat against one, with my back to it.

Parents probably thought I was some creeper watching their kids. I’d been sitting where I was for about an hour now, and had put my phone on silent because it kept going off. I had missed calls, voicemail, and texts that I hadn’t looked at or answered. Most of them were from Max, then a lot from Monte and Robert, and only one message from Craig.

The sun was beginning to set when I started going through my phone. Most of the texts consisted of “Where are you?” and “Please come home, we’re worried.” Craig’s text was different though. It said “I’m sorry. We need to talk though.”

Ignoring the voicemails, I called my brother. “Meet me at McDonalds in ten minutes,” I said as soon as he answered. I hung up as soon as he agreed to.

I bought a drink before taking a seat in the corner to wait. It wasn’t long before I saw Craig’s car pull into the parking lot and he came in and took a seat across the table from me. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. I played with my cup, not looking at my brother.

“I’m sorry Rylii,” Craig finally said. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. ”I met his eyes, but still didn’t say anything. “I wanted to talk to you this morning, so I went to wake you up, and when you weren’t in bed, I checked the bathroom and saw all the blood. I thought something had happened to you. You’re my little sister, and I’m always going to want to protect you. I left you alone for those years, without thinking. I should have thought about something beyond me and my band and our future. But now you’re back with me, and I can keep you safe. But you have Max now, and I’m not used to having someone else care for you.”

I felt tears slowly escaping as I listened to Craig. I hadn’t expected Craig to be like this, considering how angry he was when I’d run out of the house. “I’m sorry too,” I whispered. “I was afraid to tell you, and then Max found out and I spilled everything to him, and he was helping, and I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Ry, you’re my sister and I’m always going to worry about you,” Craig said. “Now, look at me,” he said, waiting for me to comply before continuing. “Tell me why you’ve done this. And for how long. And how Max found out.”

I took a deep breath before beginning. “I started when you left. Mom and I were always arguing, and I got mixed up with some of the wrong people at the clubs, and I needed some way to get rid of the pain. Then when I moved here, I kept cutting because I wanted to tell some one, but I couldn’t, and then this shit keeps happening, and it was my only way to get rid of the pain I was feeling and the pain I’m causing everyone else.”

I had looked away when explaining, and only looked back when Craig didn’t say anything after a few minutes. He was looking at his hands, lost in thought. He must have felt my stare though, as he slowly lifted his head meet my eyes. I could see the water filling his. “I’m so, so sorry. I should have brought you with me. Or realized what was going on earlier. Please forgive me,” he pleaded.

“It’s not your fault Craig; I did this to myself. I had so many chances to get cleaned up, but I rejected everyone.”

The shadow of a smile appeared on Craig’s face. I glanced out the window and saw how dark it was. “Shit! What times is it?” I asked quickly. I had to perform again tonight, and I had to get ready. Fortunately I still had time, and Craig drove us back home. I slipped past the guys without a word and was trying to decide what to wear when I heard a knock on the door. I cracked it open enough to see Max standing there. I smiled and pulled him in. “Just who I needed,” I said. “I’m performing again tonight; what should I wear?”

Max surveyed my clothes. “Why did you run?’ he asked.

“Craig said I’d found someone better than him. My ex said was never going to be happy in a relationship because I thought my brother was better than everyone,” I said. “That was right before Craig moved away. Then I ran into my ex a few weeks later, and he told me Craig left because he realized he was better, and I wasn’t worth his time, even as a sibling.”

I felt Max wrap his arms around me, pulling me close. “That guy sounds like a douche. Craig loves you, and you know it. That guy was just jealous, but that cool because otherwise, you wouldn’t be mine.” I couldn’t help but laugh before pulling Max in to a kiss. “Wear this tonight,” he said, pulling away. He left to let me change.

I didn’t have as much time as usual, but I managed to get ready. Max really was good at picking out amazing outfits for me. I got my things together and headed out, not dreading tonight, as I didn’t have to meet Tony.