Keeping His Secret

Anticipation pulsed through my veins for the rest of the day. Why was I so excited? There was something very messed up about this entire situation. Something disgusting, dirty, risky, surreptitious.

And that’s what made it amazing.

It was wrong.

And for whatever reason, I felt myself loving that.

I wasn’t a good kid, but I wasn’t a rebel. I did bad stuff, but I didn’t go out of my way to commit crimes.

This… this felt entirely different from what I was used to. It was terrifying and dangerous, risky and new.

It was exhilarating.

The day passed slowly, much to my disliking. I found myself wondering as to where I would meet him tonight. I didn’t particularly want to go outside again. The weatherman was predicting unprecedented lows for the evening and I thought the other night was bad.

Repeatedly, I was caught daydreaming inside of actually paying attention to the lesson. Most of my embarrassing interruptions ended with the class chuckling slightly at the scolding I received from the teacher.

“Daniel! Pay attention!” They would snap. “I don’t need you fantasizing in the middle of my classroom!”

While most of them simply supplemented daydreaming or sleeping with fantasizing, the students did not. Anytime one of the teachers used fantasizing, there was a chorus of chuckles through-out the room at the dirtier version of the word.

Each time my face would be beet red.

Not because I had been fantasizing, but because if they knew what I was actually thinking of, the chuckles would be worse.

I would be labeled a bigger freak than I already was.

Eventually, the clock’s hands made their way to the three and the bell rang, dismissing us. I was one of the last out of the classroom, taking my time filing out.

The hallways were crowded as usual at the end of the day. I pushed past people I didn’t care for, making my way to my locker.

The house was eerily silent as I walked through. I hesitated at the door, chills running up my spine. There was no noise, save for my footsteps as I walked inside, closing the door quietly behind me.

It seemed as if there had been a blackout, but one look at the digital clock on the stove said otherwise. If a pin dropped, I would hear it.

It was suspiciously silent.

I shook my head, dropping my bag on the coach. I was simply over-thinking. This was how I always came home to the house.

Mom wouldn’t return for another two hours. Of course it would be silent in the house while we weren’t here.

I made my way to the kitchen in search of food. My stomach didn’t growl, though. I knew I would be forcing unnecessary food into it out of habit.

I opened the fridge, my eyes scanning the contents. Nothing of my interest. I made my way to the opposite side of the kitchen, checking the cabinet.

I braced my hands against the counter, tilting my head back to look up at the open cabinet. My eyes scanned the labels of the unhealthy foods in there, searching for one that appealed enough to me at the moment.

A warm body pressed against my back, fingers curling around my wrists.

My eyes widened, breathing hitched.

“You’re early.” I was surprised at how calm my voice came out. My heart was beating fast.

“I know.” He murmured, pressing his lips against my neck. I felt his arms slip around my waist, pulling me gently towards him. I didn’t protest as he pressed his body against my own.

He slide his hands down my sides, stopping at the edge of my pants. His fingers slipped under my shirt, teasing my skin.

“Slade…” I whispered, “My mother will be home…”

He chuckled, but didn’t respond.

I pulled out of his embrace, turning around to face him. Slade smirked at me, shirtless. My eyes widened, heartbeat speeding up—if that was even possible at this point. I forced my eyes to his face, trying not to let myself get distracted by his chest.

“You….you’re….” I could barely speak, “…Shirt….”

“I thought it was a little hot in the house.” He said, smirking. Now that he mentioned it, I could feel my skin heating up to an uncomfortable level for me. I ignored the sensation.

Slade leaned forward, resting his hands against the edge of the counter as I had been doing before. I backed up, trying to create space between my chest and his naked one. My breathing was short and ragged. I forced myself to keep eye contact with him.

I bit my lip.

His eyes flickered down to my lips quickly. “You’re cute when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Bite your lip.”

I felt my face flush. “I—I—”

Slade chuckled, looking up from under his bangs. I felt a tingling sensation run down my spine.

Slade’s hand wrapped around my chin, his warm fingers feeling amazing against my skin. He tilted my head up slightly so that I looked at him better. Slade leaned in slightly so that our noses brushed.

“How was school?” He asked.

I blinked, unsure of how to respond. We were in such an intimate position and that’s the thing he asks?

“It…” I blinked again “It was ok.”

He moved his a little more. Our lips brushed slightly, “Just ok?”

“Yeah.” My lips moved against his.

Slade smirked, his eyes still holding mine. He pressed his lips softly against mine, studying me.

I didn’t know what to do.

I couldn’t kiss him back. This was wrong, so very wrong. He was an older male, for Heaven’s sake!

My lips tingled at his touch. Slowly, he moved his lips against my frozen ones. I felt his pull into a smirk.

“Aren’t you going to participate?” He asked against mine.

I felt my eyes flutter close as I moved my lips with his. Just as a test. Just to get him to back off. Just so this would end sooner.

Just so that the tingling would continue.

His lips molded with mine. This was all a new feeling. He licked at my bottom lip, teasing. I felt my hands tighten against the counter. Slade slipped his tongue into my mouth. I moaned slightly at the taste of him, surprised at how much I loved it. Slade chuckled, his low voice rumbling in the silence.

I opened my eyes, pulling my head back.

Slade stopped, opening his own. Our gazes held again.

“I…”

“That’s cute.” He commented.

I frowned, “What is?”

“You’re so innocent, Danny boy, I love it.” His eyes lowered back down to my lips for a brief moment.

I felt my face flush. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.”

It was silent for a moment as neither of us spoke. I didn’t know what to say. It’s not every day a man roughly ten years older than you kisses you and then compliments you.

It’s not every day you realize you liked that kiss.

I stepped away from the close proximity. I needed space to think. With Slade so close, it seemed nearly impossible.

“Do you.. ah… want anything to eat?” I asked hesitantly.

Slade thought for a moment, “I’m good, thank you.”

I nodded, going to the fridge. I already knew what was in there, but I needed something to distract me. I grabbed the milk, twisting off the cap and taking a sip. Maybe he’d get grossed out and leave.

I stopped drinking at that thought.

My eyes flickered to Slade.

He stood, arms crossed, watching me.

I lowered the milk, placing it back in the fridge. “What?”

Slade chuckled, “Nothing. I’m just admiring how much you’ve changed since the last time we met.”

“Yesterday?”

He chuckled, “No, before. All those years ago.”

“Where did you go for so long?” I asked on impulse. I blinked, realizing that it wasn’t the best question to ask. Maybe it was a little bit too personal.

Judging from the look on Slade’s face, that’s exactly what it was. “That’s a story for a rainy day.”

I nodded, not saying anything else.

Slade walking over to where I stood, hooking a finger in my belt loop. He tugged slightly, teasingly. He pulled my hips against his, pressing his crotch into my ass. I gasped softly as he moved his hips against mine slowly.

“Sl-Slade,” I managed to get out.

“Yes Danny?” He murmured in my ear, his husky voice sending shivers down my spine.

“I…You…Don’t…”

“You’re body doesn’t seem to say that.” He smirked, his hand trailed forward. He brushed his fingers slightly over my member.

I didn’t realize how hard I was until now.

I felt my face heat up.

“You….that’s different….”

“Is it really?” He laughed a few times.

“Yes. Don’t…”

Slade stopped, leaving his hands on my hips, his body against mine, “Are you sure, Danny boy?”

I nodded weakly “I…I’m not gay.”

“That’s not what you’re body’s saying.”

“It’s a misunderstanding.”

Slade chuckled, “I highly doubt that.”

“Can’t we start slow?”

“Oh, baby, this is slow.”

My chest swelled up at the nickname he called me. I was used to Danny by now—it only sounded right from him. But he had never called me baby before. Despite the feminine tone to it, I loved it.

“Come on.” Slade pulled away suddenly, walking towards the door.

“Are you leaving?” I felt something rush through me at the thought. Something I didn’t like. Sadness?

He chuckled, “Yes.”

I felt my heart sink.

“But so are you.”