Soulmates

Sierra's POV

We left the bar the moment I saw Jason coming out holding our jackets . Matt and Nick said they'd stay for a little bit longer , though both me and Jason knew that they'd stay there the whole night . I was still in shock from the news , but thanks to Jason who grabbed my arm and wrapped his hand around my waist , I managed to start walking .

Until we reached our place , my mind wondered around every single thing I had said to Brian , any place I had mentioned , but nothing came in my head ; nothing that could somehow guide him somewhere in New York City . I sighed loudly , and kept on praying that he'd be safe and unharmed .

I didn't even realize how quickly we reached the area of our apartment . As we got closer to the front door , I got to see that there was a person leaning against a wall . He was breathing sharply , his whole body was shaking and shivering . When we reached the door , I took a better look , and I couldn't believe my own eyes ...

Brian was lying there , his back leaning against the wall behind him , his arms wrapped tightly around himself , and his eyes were shut tightly . I felt the tears making their way out of my eyes as I kneeled down and placed my hand on his shoulder , barely touching him so I could make sure he was real ...

'' Br-ian ... Bria-n ... '' I started , but realized that my words came out as whispers . I took a long breath in and tried to calm myself down ...

'' Brian ... Brian please open your eyes .. please ... open your eyes .... It's m-e ... It's me , please open your eyes .... '' I kept on pleading , and he seemed to be trying really hard to do that ...

'' Brian , baby , please ... You can do it just open your eyes .... '' I said again , my voice breaking at the end as I felt my own mind breaking down the moment he opened his eyes and looked at me ... He looked so .. broken and beaten , but he still managed to somehow form a faint smile on his lips ..

'' Sierra ... You Y-ou Ar-e h-ere ... I f-ound Y-ou .... '' , I heard his weak voice , and after that I watched in horror as his eyes rolled back and his eyelids fell closed , something that caused panic to rush through my veins ...

'' No , no , no , Brian please .... Common .. Don't leave me alone ... Please don't leave me .. I'm sorry Brian ... God , I'm so , s-o sorry .. Please, pl-ease j-ust o-pen your eye-s again ... It's m-e ... '' I kept on ranting , but Brian's eyes remained closed . I started shaking as I started crying again , and faintly reached his wrist , and felt some sense of relief as I found a pulse ... I places his head on my shoulder , and kept whispering things to him in hopes of bringing him back ...

I was still crying and holding Brian's head against my shoulder when Jason came and motioned for me to get him upstairs to our flat ...

Surprisingly enough , Brian slightly opened his eyes , though it was clear he couldn't understand what was going on around him ...

'' Brian , baby , it's me ... I need you to help me here , please just for a little bit ... '' I whispered and he faintly nodded . I smiled slightly , seeing that he could hear and understand what I was saying ...

'' Just try and maintain your senses for a few seconds , okay ? Just until we reach the flat , then ... '' I said and stopped as I saw him trying to get up on his own ...

'' No , no , I'll help you ... You can't do this alone ... '' I said and quickly helped him up . I snaked my arm against his waist , and let his one hand hung on my shoulder . I could already tell it would be a difficult task , bringing him to my flat , but I was going to make it ...

'' B-but ... I'll crush y-ou ... '' I heard Brian mumbling , and I chuckled , and started walking both of us in the building ...

'' Don't worry about that , I've had worse .... '' I said as I struggled to get us to the elevator . I got me and Brian in , then closed the door and pressed the button to our floor . Brian was leaning heavily against the wall of the elevator , while his one hand was tightly clutching his side and his other one desperately holding my hand ... He wasn't even looking at me , his eyes were fixed down the floor , his whole head hung low ...

'' W-hy ? ... '' he whispered , but I couldn't answer him right now ... Even looking at him made me want to die . So I pretended I hadn't heard what he had just said ...

'' How badly does it hurt ? '' I asked as I placed my free head slightly on his side , but I immediately pulled back as I saw him winching at my touch ...

'' Badly ... B-ut it's okay , as long as you are h-ere with m-e ... '' he said and I rolled my eyes as the elevator reached our floor ...

'' Okay , one last time ... Can you do it ? '' I asked and he once again nodded . So after some minutes , we managed to reach our flat and get in ... Thankfully , Jason had already prepared a bath for Brian , and had taken out clean clothes he guessed were his size ...

'' Jason , he's going to need painkillers .... Lots of them .. '' I said and Jason nodded after grabbing his coat and heading out . Jason had studied some medicine before joining the band , so he knew exactly where to find painkillers this late in the night .

I was left alone with Brian , who obviously wasn't doing well . His eyes were shut again , and his arms once again wrapped around his body , like he was trying to stop the pain from coming .

I kneeled in front of him again , and tried hugging him , but he somehow shoved me away ... I looked at him in disbelief when his weak gaze met my hurtful one ...

'' I-It h-urts too mu-ch ... '' he mumbled , and I could tell he was trying hard not to let himself cry or scream ...

'' Brian it's okay ... You are going to be okay ... You are tired and hurt , but I promise you it's going to be fine ... Taking a bath will help you ... Okay ? '' I whispered to him as I once again embraced his head in between my arms ...

I felt him shake his head '' no '' , and then whispering weakly ...

'' I c-an't even stand on my o-wn ... '' , and I chuckled softly as I caressed the back of his head and said softly ...

'' I'll help you , don't worry ... '' and smiled as I helped him up and we both headed towards the bathroom . I reached and felt the water to make sure it was still warm , and after that I helped Brian take his shirt and pants off . He was groaning silently with every move he made , and I was trying to keep my self calm and not simply break down in front of him , because he needed me to remain calm and help him ....

'' I'-m n-ot taking my b-oxers off ... '' I heard Brian mutter and I looked at him weirdly ...

'' What ? Why ? '' I asked and he shook his head ...

'' I - I don'-t want this t-o be the first momen-t you see me completely n-aked ... '' he murmured and I rolled my eyes , not really believing his words ...

'' Okay then get in and take them off in the water ... '' I said softly and carefully helped him in the bathtub ... After I made sure he was somehow comfortable and leaning against the tub , I took off my clothes , and got in the tub in just my bra and underwear ... I felt Brian slightly shifting , and I assumed he was taking his boxers off . We simply sat there , looking at nowhere , before I felt Brian's arm snaking around my waist and holding it as tightly as he could ... I placed my hands over his chest , and started rubbing soft circles against his skin . I kept my head low as I asked him ...

'' Are you feeling better now ? '' I whispered ...

'' Yeah ... A l-ot better .... S-ierra please l-ook at me ... '' Brian said , and I felt his other hand caressing my cheek softly . The moment I looked up and met his brown orbs , I felt my eyes glistening ...

'' D-don't cry , baby ... Plea-se don't ... '' he murmured , and I could see he was close to tears himself .. '' I h-ate it ... I'm f-ine now ... Pl-ease .. '' he kept saying , but I shook my head and looked down again ...

'' No , no .. You are n-ot fine ... You are hurt , you are aching and it's a-ll my fault ... '' I said and he forced my head up again ...

'' It's n-ot your fault ... Don't s-ay that ... It was my decision , I want-ed to fin-d you ... I wanted to kn-ow why you lef-t me ... '' he said calmly ...

'' You could ha-ve died , Brian ... You were out there on your own , injured and lost in New York ... I don't ev-en know how y-ou ... you managed to find me ... Honestly so many things could have happened to y-ou ... '' I said in a desperate tone , before Brian hushed me by placing his finger on my lips ...

'' But n-othing happened ... I'm he-re now , with y-ou .. And I don't c-are about any-thing else in the world ...I- I just need to know why ... wh-at made you leave ... '' he said , and I shook my head again , my eyes now locked down ...

'' I-I can't do that ... '' I said and moved to get out , but Brian maintained his hold ...

'' Wh-at are you s-aying ? Sierra , I d-id this who-le thing f-or you , I think I des-erve to kno-w ... '' he protested , his eyes now darker ...

'' Brian , I CAN'T , okay ? I - I simply can't ... '' I told him , tears pricking at the corner of my eyes once again ...

'' Can't o-r won't ? '' he asked ...

'' Both ... You j-ust don't get it ... There are things you don't kno-w , Brian ... '' I started , but he stopped me ...

'' Then tell me about them , INFORM me , Sierra ... '' Brian screamed at me , and immediately grabbed his sides as he groaned out in pain ... I knew that screaming and yelling would cause his ribs to ache more , and I'm pretty sure he knew that too , but still I didn't stay in the room to find out more , because the moment he yelled at me I left the bathroom and slammed the door behind me shut . Ever since I was a little girl , I couldn't take it when another person was yelling at me . And Brian f*cking knew that ...

I crushed down and leaned my back against the door as I let my tears flow . As I was crying , I heard sounds from inside the bathroom indicating that Brian was trying to get out of the tub ...

'' D-don't move , Brian ... J-ust yell at me some more when you are ready so I can come and help you out .. '' I said in a bitter tone , and I swear I heard him sigh ...

'' Sierra , I'm s- '' he started but I cut him off ...

'' No , don't ... Just don't ... Don't say anything ... '' I said , and went to the kitchen . I splashed some water on my face , and started taking deep breaths in and out , in order to calm myself down .

As I stood there , I heard the door opening and closing quickly , and Jason walked in again , holding two bottles of painkillers ...

'' Now , these should be enough ... '' he said as he placed them on the kitchen's counter and looked at me . He furrowed his eyebrows , and moved closer to me ...

'' Sierra , is everything okay ? '' he asked as he embraced me in a hug . I nodded

'' Yeah ... It's okay ... '' I said and he pulled away ...

'' Have you been crying ? Sierra tell me ... '' he pleaded , and I shook my head ....

'' It's fine , Jason , I swear ... It's fine ... '' I said and smiled at him weakly . It was obvious that he didn't believe a word I said , but still he shook his head '' okay '' ...

'' Well , I'll crush on the couch ... He can have my bed ... '' Jason muttered and I nodded ...

'' See , I knew you liked him ... You are giving him your bed and your clothes and everything ... I sense some bromance action right theere .. '' I joked , and Jason rolled his eyes ...

'' I'd rather bang a carrot ... '' he said and we both laughed as we hugged and said our goodnights .

After Jason left , I took some more breaths as I headed to the bathroom . I decided that I wouldn't look at Brian's eyes at all ... It would make things easier anyways ...

I stepped in quietly and saw him , thankfully , still sitting there . The moment his eyes reached mine , I looked away ... I heard him trying to move once again and moved closer ...

'' C'mmon , let's get you out ... '' I murmured as I helped him stand up and get out . I handed him the clean clothes and stepped out of the bathroom once again . After a while I got back in , and saw he was struggling to put the t-shirt on . I helped him with that , and then blow-dried his hair . The whole time we didn't say a word to each other , and it felt like someone could cut the tension in the atmosphere with a knife ...

After Brian was fully clothed and dry , I helped him get out of the bathroom , and guided him towards the bedroom . I helped him lay down , and pulled the blanket on top of him , making sure he was completely covered ...

'' S-so , this is how it's going to be ? '' he asked softly , and I furrowed my eyebrows ...

'' What do you mean ? '' I asked ...

'' I mean , we are just going to act like we don't know each other ? Like we are two strangers ? We are not even going to talk to each other ? '' he asked , and after some effort he managed to sit up ...

'' Are we really going to pretend these months meant nothing ? '' he said softly ...

'' They meant nothing ... '' I said quietly , but I knew he'd heard me ...

'' Do you really believe that ? '' he asked in a hurt tone , and I shook my head ...

'' Yes , Brian ... You are lying to yourself ... You don't even know me that well ... We only spent some months together , they were great and all , but that was all they were ... And now , it has to end ... I'm sure you'll find someone else ... Someone better than me ... '' I murmured , and tried to keep my tears from flowing once again ...

'' Are you even listening to yourself ? Sierra , you are not just a random girl that I want to f*ck , you know that ... These months were not just great , they were MAGICAL for me ... They were everything I needed and wanted .... YOU are everything I need ... '' he said and I took a glimpse at his glistening orbs before locking my eyes to the floor once again ...

'' Brian , y-ou need to sleep ... Y-ou are tired and confused and have no idea what you are talking ab-out ... '' I said , trying my damn hardest to stop the sobs from leaving my mouth ...

'' NO , God-damned it I don't need to sleep , I don't want to sleep ... '' Brian said in an angry tone and somehow shot up from bed and rushed towards me , before falling down and grabbing his side . But , after he let out a slight groan , he stood up again , and grabbed my arm as gently as possible ...

'' I changed my whole life for you ... I gave up my marriage , I did it all just for YOU ... Everything just for you ... And I'd do it again in a heartbeat ... So don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about ... '' he said strongly ...

'' But ... '' I started , but he stopped me ...

'' But nothing ... I know exactly what I'm talking about , I know exactly what I feel for you ...I almost DIED to get to you , because I know for a fact I won't be able to leave without you by my side ... '' he said , still holding my arm ...

'' And I know I don't know everything about you , but I KNOW I want to find out ... I want to learn everything about you ... And I don't care what the price might be ... I'm willing to sacrifice anything to make this work , to make us work .... '' he now whispered , his voice coming out hoarsely ...

'' So don't tell me we meant nothing ... Cause I know we meant everything ... '' he finished , and I looked deep in his eyes , his beautiful orbs , that told me he meant every word he had just said ..