Soulmates

Sierra's POV

I let out a small scream and dropped the knife instantly , shrieking even more at the sound of it hitting the floor . I looked in horror at Brian's chest that was now slightly bleeding , and brought my hands over my mouth .

I started crying harder , not really capable of conceiving what I had just done . I never wanted to hurt him , hell , I had no idea why I had grabbed the knife in the first place . I mean , I was angry at him and everything , but now what I'd done only made me want to disappear off the face of the freaking planet .

'' Br- Br-ian ... I'm s-o ... O-h G-od I'm s-o so- ... '' I started stuttering in between sniffles .
Brian hadn't moved from his spot . He hadn't even looked at his chest , his eyes were glued on mine . I could see the hurt in his eyes , I could sense it . I knew he never expected something like this to happen .

He tried reaching closer to me , but I shrieked away from his touch , once again . I dropped my body down , and brought my knees closer to my body as I kept on crying . I let out a yelp at the sound of a loud storm coming from outside ...

Great , it was raining again ...

I felt a person sitting next to me , and I knew it was Brian . He just sat there for a few minutes before he reached and placed his hand softly over my knees . He started rubbing them softly , and his soft voice whispered ...

'' It's okay , baby ... It's g - '' he tried comforting me , but I shook my head in between constand sobs , and said weakly ...

'' No , it's not ... I hurt you , Brian ... That's all we do , apparently ... We hurt each other ... We just can't help it ... '' I mumbled , and slowly raised my head to look at him . His eyes were slightly red , and I could tell he was on the verge of crying ...

'' People hurt each other every day , Sierra ... That's just how it is ... We are not perfect we make mistakes , and hurt is what comes out of them ... So , yeah , we hurt each other ! But do you know how I know that what we have is special ? '' he questioned , and I remained silent ...

'' Because every single second I spent with you is worth every single bit of that pain ... '' he whispered , and his words only brought even more tears in my eyes ...

'' No ... Brian . If you really meant all those things , you wouldn't go and do all these ... You wouldn't go and f*ck your wife in front of me . If what we had was so special , you wouldn't give up on it that easily ... '' I muttered , and watched in horror as hurt overshadowed his features ...

'' And I know I'm being selfish right now , but I just can't help it ... L-ove isn't supposed to feel this way ... But , at the end of the day , it's just the way things are ... We can't change it . Sooner or later , one of us is going to d-o something st-upid , and mess u-p ... And then the oth-er one ... '' I said , and took a deep breath before slightly smirking ...

'' The other one is going to do something just t-o get back at h-im ... W-e 'll be broken ag-ain , Brian ... In-evitably , we are going t-o end up ... Broken ... '' I whispered , and wiped some tears off my face before I continued ...

'' S-o , please ... L-eave ... '' I said softly , and heard Brian breathing in softly , even slightly sniffling .

We both stayed there , sitting down , none of us saying a word , before finally Brian opened his mouth , his voice coming out hoarsely .

'' Y-ou know , I regret even touching her ... I regret the f*cking moment I placed my lips on hers , kissing her like a maniac only because I missed you too much ... '' he said softly , and I raised my head to look at him with furrowed eyebrows . He smiled bitterly at me , and looked down at his lap ...

'' She was wearing the exact same dress as you ... She had her hair fixed like yours , even the f*cking make up and lipstick on . I was drunk beyond belief , and I went out of the bar because I couldn't handle seeing you having the time of your life when I was dying inside ... S-o , the moment I saw her there , looking just like you , I felt ... Well , I w-as thrilled . I - I thought you'd n-ever forgive me , but right then y-ou were there , r-ight in front of me , calling my name a-nd ... Approaching me ... Kissing me ... '' he said softly , and took a deep breath , trying to contain a sob from leaving his mouth , trying to keep his voice strong ...

'' I - I knew the kiss w-as nothing like any of those we've sha-red ... B-ut right then , I ... I simply ch-ose to ignore everything ... Every single sign that could pr-ove that what was happening was a ... a lie . B-ut , when I heard you crying , wh-en I saw y-ou standing there ... '' he stopped once again , wiping off some more tears ...

'' Sierra ... W-ords cann-ot describ-e what I ... I - I felt right then . Y-our eyes , the tears ... R-ight then I realised everything ... H-ow much you mean to m-e ... And I'm s-o sorry i-t took all this f-or me to understand how much I ... I ... '' he trailed off , and sighed before he wiped off the final tears that had escaped from his eyes .

'' And ... I know it doesn't ev-en matter , Sierra ... B-ut ... '' he said softly before he forced his head up and looked at me with saddened eyes ...

'' I only f*cked her because I'm in love with you ... '' he said strongly , and I looked away . The thunders only intensified , and I felt beyond scared to even realize that Brian had stood up , opened the door and left . I only realized that when I looked next to me , and saw the space was empty .

I was left alone in an empty bus , and sound of the pouring rain was the only sound that could be heard . I sighed and stood up , walking towards the bathroom . I took a good look at myself in the mirror . Suddenly , every single memory of Brian flashed through my mind , and I swear I could hear his voice , and watch every single scene of our story unfold right in front of me ...


''What do you want now? I'm sure your bitch is waiting for you...''I said in a tone I didn't even know I could produce with my voice.

''Oh...jealous much?'' he said, smirking slightly..But his words didn't mean a thing to me..

''Run back in the bus, Syn !She's waiting...Your plaything for the night...Go to her,show her a good time...that's what Synyster Gates is all about, huh? Ladies' Man for as long as ladies-or not-exist on this f***ng planet..And I'm stupid, Syn...to even believe you had any sort of feelings for me...'' I started saying, tears escaping my eyes, due to the fact that I apparently was beyond drunk.

''Sierra,just please let me..'' he started, but again I interrupted him, not even realising that he was slowly getting closer to me...
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''For you,I'll always be Brian...''and he moved to kiss me again,and I accepted his fierce tongue in my mouth,only wanting more...
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'' Don't go .. '' he whispered , and I turned around to face his eyes that made me feel 10 times guiltier .

So I kneeled down again , and stared at him .

''...Why...why did you do that ? '' I asked , almost whispering.

'' I did it because I wanted to , Sierra .. Because that guy was threatening you , because he dared to try and raise his hand at you , because if I hadn't done it , he would have hurt you ... '' he replied like it was the most natural thing in the world .

'' But you didn't have to do it , Brian ... I told you I was okay , I told you I knew the guy , I told you I could handle it on my own , I ..'' I started , but Brian cut me off...

'' But when he almost hit you , the only thing you did was put your hands in front of your face .. you wouldn't be able to fight him off , Sierra , and you know that ... '' he said.

'' And if so , why do you care ? Why should you care ? Damn it , Brian , I've known you for only 4 days , and I managed to get you hurt already ... I mean , in a month , what is going to happen ? Your funeral or something ?? '' I said , and heard Brian chuckling.

'' C'mmon , it's not that bad . I can talk , I can smile , I'll soon be able to walk on my own , and the only problem will be this ugly black thing on my eye ruining the prettiness.. '' he joked , but I didn't find it funny .

'' It is bad , Brian , it really is ... He beat you senseless , you passed out for some minutes , your eyes wouldn't open ... I was calling your name , but you wouldn't answer to me , Brian ... you wouldn't ! For all I knew , YOU could have died there and it would have been all my fault .. '' I kept on talking until I was cut by him hugging the life out of me.

'' I don't care about what might have happened to me ... I only cared about the fact that you were safe , that he couldn't hurt you in any way ... That's why I did it , and I'd do it again in a heartbeat so stop saying that what could have happened would have been your fault , because it wouldn't .... Don't blame this on yourself , please ... '' he whispered in my ear , and I immediately felt the tears peaking from my eyes once again .

'' But it would have been my fault Brian ... It IS my fault that you got hurt ... if you hadn't met me , then ... '' I tried to speak , but he cut me again ...

'' If I hadn't met you , my life would have remained miserable ... Sierra , I know it sounds crazy and all ... but I feel like since the moment I met you , my life changed ... Everything around me look diferrent when you are around ... And yes I know you for only 4 days , but I still feel things I can't explain .... '' he said , and forced me to look him in the eyes .

'' Tell me you feel them too ... Please , make me realize I'm not going insane ... '' he whispered .
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'' Well , then why did you leave without waking me up first ... ? Like you didn't even want me to lay with you anymore ... '' he whispered , now getting closer to me ..

'' Brian , please , you should already know why ... '' I muttered in response ...

'' Why ? ... Tell me because obviously I have no clue ... '' he replied , and tried catching my hands in his , but I moved them away ..

'' You are married ... '' I said , and looked down .. '' And this whole thing probably means nothing to you anyways .. But it affects ME , Brian .. and I just can't do it ... '' I continued and looked up , only to meet his sad orbs ...

'' You know it's not like that , Sierra .... '' he tried to say something , but I cut him off ..

'' It's exactly like that , Brian ... And you know it ... So leave , before we wake everybody up ... ''
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However , the moment I decided to walk out , I was met with a soaking wet Brian , who was shivering intensively ...

'' Well , I 've b-been w-a-iting all these hours for you to show up ... '' he started , slightly smiling at me ...

'' How did you know I'd even be willing to go out in the rain ? '' I asked , not so much him , but whatever God exists up there..

'' I remember you telling me how the rain is , basically , the love of your life and all ... '' he replied , and I simply nodded , not knowing what else to do ...

'' Any-yways ... I need to tell you something ... '' he said and stepped closer to me , but I cut him off .. We were both standing in the rain by now ..

'' No, Brian , we talked about that already ... There's nothing going on between us ... '' I started , but now was his turn to cut me off , as he smiled and put a finger over my lips ..

'' I broke up with Michelle .... Sierra ... I-I-I 'm ... '' he started but the shivering got the best of him ... So he took a deep breath and looked straight in my eyes ..

'' I'm in love with you , Sierra ...'' , he said , and I felt my insides burn as he crushed his lips on mine .... And boy did I want this kiss to last forever ...
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'' But n-othing happened ... I'm he-re now , with y-ou .. And I don't c-are about any-thing else in the world ...I- I just need to know why ... wh-at made you leave ... '' he said , and I shook my head again , my eyes now locked down ...

'' I-I can't do that ... '' I said and moved to get out , but Brian maintained his hold ...

'' Wh-at are you s-aying ? Sierra , I d-id this who-le thing f-or you , I think I des-erve to kno-w ... '' he protested , his eyes now darker ...

'' Brian , I CAN'T , okay ? I - I simply can't ... '' I told him , tears pricking at the corner of my eyes once again ...

'' Can't o-r won't ? '' he asked ...

'' Both ... You j-ust don't get it ... There are things you don't kno-w , Brian ... '' I started , but he stopped me ...
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'' S-so , this is how it's going to be ? '' he asked softly , and I furrowed my eyebrows ...

'' What do you mean ? '' I asked ...

'' I mean , we are just going to act like we don't know each other ? Like we are two strangers ? We are not even going to talk to each other ? '' he asked , and after some effort he managed to sit up ...

'' Are we really going to pretend these months meant nothing ? '' he said softly ...

'' They meant nothing ... '' I said quietly , but I knew he'd heard me ...

'' Do you really believe that ? '' he asked in a hurt tone , and I shook my head ...

'' Yes , Brian ... You are lying to yourself ... You don't even know me that well ... We only spent some months together , they were great and all , but that was all they were ... And now , it has to end ... I'm sure you'll find someone else ... Someone better than me ... '' I murmured , and tried to keep my tears from flowing once again ...

'' Are you even listening to yourself ? Sierra , you are not just a random girl that I want to f*ck , you know that ... These months were not just great , they were MAGICAL for me ... They were everything I needed and wanted .... YOU are everything I need ... '' he said and I took a glimpse at his glistening orbs before locking my eyes to the floor once again ...

'' Brian , y-ou need to sleep ... Y-ou are tired and confused and have no idea what you are talking ab-out ... '' I said , trying my damn hardest to stop the sobs from leaving my mouth ...

'' NO , God-damned it I don't need to sleep , I don't want to sleep ... '' Brian said in an angry tone and somehow shot up from bed and rushed towards me , before falling down and grabbing his side . But , after he let out a slight groan , he stood up again , and grabbed my arm as gently as possible ...

'' I changed my whole life for you ... I gave up my marriage , I did it all just for YOU ... Everything just for you ... And I'd do it again in a heartbeat ... So don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about ... '' he said strongly ...

'' But ... '' I started , but he stopped me ...

'' But nothing ... I know exactly what I'm talking about , I know exactly what I feel for you ...I almost DIED to get to you , because I know for a fact I won't be able to leave without you by my side ... '' he said , still holding my arm ...

'' And I know I don't know everything about you , but I KNOW I want to find out ... I want to learn everything about you ... And I don't care what the price might be ... I'm willing to sacrifice anything to make this work , to make us work .... '' he now whispered , his voice coming out hoarsely ...

'' So don't tell me we meant nothing ... Cause I know we meant everything ... '' he finished
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'' He doesn't have to answer the question , it's only a game ... Let's con- '' I tried reasoning everyone , but Jason shook his head ...

'' He's part of the game , he has to answer ... It's a simple '' yes '' or '' no '' question '' anyways ... '' Jason responded with a smile , but I kept glaring at him .

'' Jason you are being a total d- '' I said , but Brian's response interrupted me ...

'' Yes ... More than anything ... '' he said before standing up and starting walking away from us ...
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'' I - I think ... I think I should go now ... Just wanted to make sure you were okay ... '' I said quickly , and turned to leave . His voice stopped me , though ...

'' I'm never okay ... When I'm not with you ... '' he said weakly , and I turned towards him once again ...

'' Nothing's okay without you , Sierra ... My life f*cking vanishes ... It's like I breathe , but somehow the air kills me inside ... And I know you say things , and you do get bitchy and mean towards me , and you don't get that you are hurting me ... But believe me , you never , ever disappoint me ... You are not a mess ... You are never going to be one , because I'm going to be there for you ... And I will NEVER let you fall ... '' he finished as he crushed his thin lips on mine , his arms moving around me and securing me close to his body ...
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' What ? Don't be scared baby , I won't move at all ! It'll be easy ... I'll even f*cking leave my prints on the knife , so you can call it a suicide or something ... Just stab me , right here ... '' he said quietly , and moved even closer , so that his body was pushing against the blade ...

'' C'mmon , do it ... I don't care about me anymore , Sierra ... I really don't ... And I'm not afraid or sorry ... I'm asking you to do it ... Show me how much you hate me , how you meant every single word you said ... Do it , baby ... ''
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'' Sierra ... W-ords cann-ot describ-e what I ... I - I felt right then . Y-our eyes , the tears ... R-ight then I realised everything ... H-ow much you mean to m-e ... And I'm s-o sorry i-t took all this f-or me to understand how much I ... I ... '' he trailed off , and sighed before he wiped off the final tears that had escaped from his eyes .
'' And ... I know it doesn't ev-en matter , Sierra ... B-ut ... '' he said softly before he forced his head up and looked at me with saddened eyes ...
'' I only f*cked her because I'm in love with you ... '' he said strongly , and I looked away .

I blinked the tears from my eyes , and smiled faintly . Because I knew exactly what I had to do . Our story , everything that had happened between us , it was a fairytale . And of course every fairytale had its dark parts . But it's right then that the lights shined brighter than ever before .

So I rushed outside the bus , not caring that I looked like a total mess , not caring that the rain was falling down on me harder than I'd ever felt it . I just wanted to find him . Thankfully , I saw that he was only a few meters away from the bus , walking with his shoulders down , his hands searching inside his pockets for something . I smiled once again , and shouted as loud as I could ...
'' Brian ... ''

Brian's POV

I walked out of the bus , not knowing what else I could say . The scratch on my chest ached a bit , however Sierra's tears had caused my f*cking heart to ache a lot more than that . Honestly , I had no idea what more I could do to make things better . Unfortunately , it seemed like the only thing I should do was accept that Sierra didn't ever want to see me again .

It would be hard , but I wouldn't stay there and only cause her pain . Of course , I knew that me leaving her would probably kill me , but I'd rather die than watch her suffer . I'd promised her I'd never hurt her , and I'd done just that . I didn't deserve her ...

So , I started walking away , in the f*cking rain , searching in my pockets for my cancer sticks , aka Marlboro pack . However , the moment I started taking a cigarette out , I heard a voice that made me feel like I was the happiest man on earth .

I turned around , and smiled as I saw Sierra running towards me . She reached me and threw her arms around me , holding me as tight as she could , and I did the exact same thing . I buried my face in the crook of her neck , thanking Who-ever God existed up there for what was happening right then .

None of us said anything as we kept holding each other , but I could feel her tears falling . We pulled away , smiling at each other . Sierra's eyes were watery , but sparkling . And I bet that was exactly how my eyes looked like right that moment ...

'' Br-ian ... I'm s-o sorry , baby . I - I was st-upid and selfish , and God , Brian I need you in my l-ife ... '' she said , stuttering a bit as she was beggining getting cold . I smiled at her ...

'' I need you too , baby ... More than anything .. '' I said , and smiled before noticing that her lips were becoming slightly purple ..

'' I - I think we should g-et back inside ... It's pretty cold ... I don't want you getting sick or
someth-ing ... '' I said , and she giggled as she nodded .
We got back inside the bus , and I heard her letting out a loud sigh . Suddenly , her eyes widened , and saw she was staring at my chest ...

Sierra's POV

We got back in the bus , as we were both getting really cold . However , as I looked at Brian , I saw the large cut across his chest , that reminded me of everything I'd done . I reached to him slowly , slightly touching the area around the wound .

'' Brian ... I'm s-o sorry for that , b-aby ... '' I said , and he chuckled softly ...

'' It doesn't even hurt anymore , baby ... It's fine ... '' he said , but winched as I slightly touched the wound ...

'' Doesn't hurt anymore , right ? '' I joked , and he smiled ...

'' Yeah , I guess it does ... A bit ... '' he admitted , and I nodded , but frowned instantly .

'' It's ... It's going to need stitches ... '' I mumbled , and rushed inside to get the aid -kit . I came out soon after , holding the necessary things in my hands . I ordered Brian to sit , and I went in front of him , and started taking care of the cut .
After some minutes , and some loud groans of pain from Brian , I finished stitching him up , and smiled ...

'' Ready ... '' I said , and he smiled back ...

'' The best nurse in the whole world ... '' he said , and softly cupped my face in his hands , bringing me closer to him and kissing my lips in the most perfect way possible . We both craved the kiss , so none of us was willing to break it .

'' I missed you so f*cking much Sierra ... The moment I heard you calling out my name , I felt like ... Like the happiest f*cking man ... I love you , baby ... I f*cking love you ...'' he said , his voice sounding so fragile at that moment ...

'' I love you too , Brian ... And I'm so sorry I almost let us fall ... But this now , it all f-eels ... Well , it feels p-erfect ... I mean , it's like the ... the end of a fairytale ... You know , the happily ever after ? '' I said , and he laughed as he pecked my lips .

'' I know , baby ... And the best part is that it's all real ... '' he said softly , and I nodded ...

'' The best reality I could ask for ... '' I smiled , and motioned for us to head towards the bunks . We were both really tired , and I knew for a fact that we both needed to rest .

The last thing I remember before closing my eyes was the feel of Brian's strong arms wrapped around me , and his sweet voice humming some familiar tune , that worked perfectly as a lullaby for me ...